A Humorous Look at Anime fandom 
(please don't take it too seriously...)
The Different Types of Anime Fans:

Everything made after 1982 is garbage:
The old-timers.  The original anime fans.  These people have been
into anime fandom since the very beginning and were raised on
Prince Planet, Astro Boy, Ultraman, and Speed Racer.  Hearing them
talk, one would think they were imitating the grumpy, old man from
Saturday Night Live.
Quote:  "We didn't have Bubble Gum Crisis in our days.  We had
Mighty Atom in black and white... AND WE LOVED IT!"

Everything made before 1982 is too old to watch:
The new kids.  The college boys who got interested in anime after
they moved in their dorms.  They were introduced to anime when
Robotech first aired (or possibly a rerun of Star Blazers).  Unless
it is new, with slick and shiny animation, they think it's too old. 
These are the type of people who loved Nu Gundam and Gundam 0083
but refuse to watch the original 1979 TV series.
Quote:  "Yamato?  Harlock?  You gotta be kidding, that stuff's
ancient..."

All anime is good:
Those lucky few who have one foot in each world.  These people can
easily discuss the differences between Eight Man and Baoh.  
Quote:  "Urusei Yatsura is okay but Princess Night was much
better."

"FEN" not "Fan":
If they were seriously into Star Trek they would say "Trekkie not
Trekker!" or in anthropomorphics: "Furry not Furvert!" (Oh, I'm
sorry.  It's "Anthropomorphic" now... sheesh!).  These are people
who would believe they are the elite of anime fandom and anyone who
does not have standards as high as theirs are just posers.
Quote:  "I belong to twenty APAs, thirty newsletters, and seventy
world-wide anime echos... I think that makes me more qualified to
decide what will be shown on tonights video schedule."

Mechophile:
Techheads. Robofreaks.  The type of guy who would stand up in the
middle of a showing of Laputa and say "That plane could not
possibly fly."  They drool over big robots and can quote to you the
armaments of every single aircraft in the US Airforce off of the
top of their heads.
Quote:  "Oooh look!  A GM Commando (copyright 0079, Anaheim
Electronics) with enhanced thruster pack that gives it 20,000 extra
pounds of thrust and extended use of the beam sabre!!!"

Plotophile:
Is into anime because of the storyline and drama that it sometimes
provides.  They usually think that such trivial things as sex and
violence detract from the plot on hand.
Quote:  "Tomino could be a great storyteller, right up there with
Shakespeare, if he didn't put in those stupid mecha battles."

Perfectionist:
This person thinks that his or her view of anime is the only one. 
They will go out of their way to describe to you that it is
pronounced "Sha Aznable" not "Char Aznable" and "Sylia" not "Celia"
(or Selia, Cylia, Seleeah, etc.).  These people will also have two
tons of personal pet peeves that you'd better watch out for.
Quote:  "If you cannot allow us to view this video in utter silence
then you might as well leave the room!"

Blood & Guts:
That scary guy (or possibly gal) who yells "COOL!" everytime
someone gets snuffed in a horrible fashion.  These people love Fist
of the North Star just for its violence and will not miss an
episode of Wandering Kid.  They could not care less that it is
impossible for the human body to contain that much blood.
Quote:  "Man, I was watching Midnight Eye Goku II and this guy was
screwing this girl and he just chopped her head clean off!  When
that happened I said 'Dude! This stuff is just too cool!'"

T & A:
The guy who watches anime just for the bouncing breasts.  They own
the entire set of Cream Lemons and can qoute to you the bust sizes
of their favorite anime gals.  Some of these individuals own the
1/8 scale models of their favorite anime gals (with optional
removable clothes) along with every erotic dojinshi dealing with
them.
Quote:  <censored>

Bishonen Lover:
The gal who watches anime for the effeminate, long-haired, heroes. 
Their favorite heroes probably have the trademark of clenching a
rose between their teeth (or something or other dealing with
roses).  They own every erotic dojinshi whose contents would send
a homophobe screaming to the hills.
Quote:  "Patarillo was such a beautiful show."

I love <fill in the blank>:
Like the T&A except that they focus on one female anime character
(usually Lum, Kei, Yuri, Ranma-chan, or Nadia).  These own every
single product dealing with this character.
Quote:  "I saw that Ranma 1/2 key chain at the Con auction and just
had to have it!  So when the last bidder said $10, I screamed
'$50!'" (no joke, the Ranma 1/2 and Lum keychain both went for over
$40 at Philcon 1991 after fierce bidding!)

I worship <fill in the blank>:
A bad case of hero worship.  This guy or gal worship their favorite
anime characters as their idol and will do anything to emulate this
person.  They will dress up as them at cons and may sometime insist
that they are called by their heroes names.  (Hey!  It's one thing
too like Seiya but another to insist that one is called Seiya).
Quote:  "I am having my legal name changed to Roy Fokker."

Sub or Die!:
These people believe that the only way anime can be brought over to
America is by subtitling.  They quote bad voice acting and even
worst editing of scenes as the reasons why.  There is a subset of
this class that believes that only fans should do the subtitling on
Amigas and that Animeigo and other subbing companies put out
inferior and too expensive products.
Quote:  "I JUST SUBBED THE ENTIRE ORANGE ROAD SERIES IN JUST UNDER
73 HOURS!!!  IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN @$#^ OFF!"

Dub or Die!:
People who believe that the general American public does not like
subtitles an would be more interested in Anime if it was dubbed
into English.  They think that there was nothing wrong with
"Revenge of the Ninja" (the Dagger of Kamui dub) and "Warriors of
the Wind" (the Nausicaa dub).
Quote:  "So they cut out half an hour of the film and changed the
plot around completely, BIG DEAL!  At least it's in English!"

Purist:
Believes that anime fandom should remain in the lunatic fringe and
that everyone who wishes to get into it should either read the
scripts or learn Japanese.  Thinks that subtitle obscures too much
of the picture and dubbing destroys the original feel of the film.
Quote:  "Those idiots!!!  They changed the gender oriented obscene
gerund that Kenshiro says just before Jagi's head explodes!!!"

Hoarder:
If it is anime, this person will have it.  They collect everything
and video quality and speed do not matter.  They have hundreds of
tapes filled with stuff at EP speed, tenth generation.  They will
have the original Akira, the subbed Akira, and the dubbed Akira
just for the sake of completeness.
Quote:  "I have the entire run of Cat's Eye in French with Swedish
subtitles.  Only seventh generation off of TV!"

Laserhead:
Laser discs are good!  Laser discs are the wave of the future! 
These people believe that the only way to watch anime is off of
laser on a 35 inch tube (no rear projection!) TV with sound going
through a Dolby Pro-Logic Surround system (with sub-woofer).  If
you want anything dubbed onto tape from these people it is best to
address them as "Sir" or "Maam".
Quote:  "I'll only dub it for you if you provide a Extra Mega High
Grade Gold S-VHS tape and want it in SP speed."

Stukey Sympathizer:
Those who agree that what Randall Stukey says in gospel and that he
is the only person who can save anime fandom from its downward
spiral into bootleg piracy and bad subtitling.
Quote:  "Anime fandom should be run non-profit by fans... with
Randall Stukey in charge of course..."

Stukey Hater:
People who hate Randall Stukey just for the sake of hating him. 
They blame him for everything from the collapse of the C/FO to the
current economic recession that our country is suffering (some
throw in AIDS while they're at it).  They flame him whenever
possible and always have at least three things on hand to complain
about him if asked.
Quote:  "Let's fire bomb his house!!!"

Stukey Who??:
The majority of anime fandom who either don't know who Stukey is
(those who have joined in the past year) and those who could care
less about what he says since he has no affect on their world
whatsoever.
Quote:  "Who cares?"

Bootlegger:
Let's face it.  As long as there is a market and video companys do
not take legal action, there will be bootleggers.  These guys range
from those who run high-tech mail order services to those who color
photocopy covers of anime VHS tapes and try to pass them off as the
real thing.  Most people turn to bootleggers at cons because they
are disenchanted with getting tapes through their local fan clubs
(if there is a local fan club), quality of bootlegs has jumped up
to first generation laser because of falling LD Player prices, and
fans can get tapes when they want and view them (in the case of at
con tables) before buying them.
Quote:  "Of course it's first gen off of laser onto a high grade
tape, hi-fi, four head... Would I lie to you?"

Bootleg Hater:
...And as long as their are bootleggers there are those who will
criticize them and try to hamper them.  These are people who
believe that the average fan can afford to buy a LD Player and
laser discs or have a local fan club to turn to for tapes.  Their
actions usually range from griping about it to trying to get them
kicked out of cons to outright confiscating (stealing) of a
bootleggers merchandise.
Quote:  "Let's firebomb his table!!!"