Xref: world rec.arts.anime.stories:194 Path: world!news.bu.edu!olivea!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!noc.near.net bigboote.WPI.EDU!mickey.cc.utexas.edu!not-for-mail From: acombs@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (The Kimagure Orange College People) Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.stories Subject: [FanFic] Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Ranma Episode 1 Date: 9 Sep 1993 23:33:14 GMT Organization: The University of Texas - Austin Lines: 569 Approved: megazone@wpi.wpi.edu Message-ID: <26oefq$q66@bigboote.WPI.EDU> NNTP-Posting-Host: garden.wpi.edu Originator: megazone@garden.WPI.EDU Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Ranma [Writer's foreword: This is my first real attempt at a parody fanfiction. It was originally based on a fan-drawn artwork by the same name. It shows the Ranma girls (Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, Shampoo, and Kodachi) in Sailor Senshi outfits. It was displayed at Anime America '93, and AKon IV. Silly to be sure, but undeniably funny to fans of either or both shows. Normally I wouldn't try a project like this. It's too silly; too ridiculous to even consider. Besides, I don't have nearly the research materials at my disposal the way I have for KOR. To those who don't recognize me, I also created/write the Kimagure Orange College fanfic/doujinshi. However, buoyed by the positive response of KOCollege, and some prodding by a Sailor Moon fan who will remain anonymous :-), I said, "what the heck...". A couple of things I need to say. This is *not* a Ranma fanfic with Sailor Moon guest-starring. It is *not* a Sailor Moon fanfic with a Ranma guest-star. This is a wholly independent parody fic that combines the elements of both. As such, it will often contradict established facts, characteristics and situations of both series. I can assure you that most of it is deliberate. In addition, don't try to compare this series to KOCollege. KOCollege is a serious attempt to emulate the original KOR style and to write as authentic a sequel as possible. It's heavily researched before it hits the net. This is pure "fly-by-the-seat- of-my-pants" writing. How long I continues this...err series depends heavily on reader response, so send in your comments please! Positive or negative! Flames or praises! Mail to acombs@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu. So hold on to your hats! It should be a bumpy ride!] Ranma voiceover: Hello. I am Saotome Ranma, 16 years old. I had just returned from China where my father and I had completed a rigorous training expedition. Upon my return to Japan, my main expections were returning to the normal routine of school and everyday life. However, one morning on the way to school, I met a little pig with a strange mark on his forehead...and my life changed forever... Episode 1: Why is that pig talking to me? [Cut to the Fuurinkan suburbia. Ranma is walking on the fence rail on the way to school. He is holding his school bag behind his head. As he rounds the corner, the sound of little kids interrupts his morning commute.] Little kid 1: [Poking with a stick into the middle of a pile of kids.] Haha! Run you little pig! Little kid 2: [Reaches into the crowd.] Now we're gonna roast you for breakfast! P-chan: [With protest.] ...... Ranma: [Standing on the fence rail.] Hey you guys! Don't pick on helpless kids! Little kid 3: [Looks up from the crowd.] Oh yeah? What do you wanna do about it? Little kid 1: Yeah! Why don't you come down here and make us! Ranma: [Jumps off the fence.] Oh yeah? You asked for it! [Just then, the school bell rings in the distance. Hearing this, all the little kids back away and start running towards the school.] Little kid 2: You're not so tough! Little kids 1,2,3: [Pull down one eye, and stick out their tongues.] Beeee...! Ranma: [Watches them run away.] Little brats! [Looks down and picks up a little black pig.] Hrumph...it's not even a kid! All that fuss for a stupid-looking little pig... Eh...? [Looks closely and sees a two bandages criss-crossed on the pig's forehead.] What the...? [Peels off the bandage, revealing a moon-shaped mark.] [The pig's vacuous expression suddenly vanishes. It's eyes narrow and a look of intelligence becomes immediately apparent...] Ranma: [Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable being watched.] Uhh... [Suddenly remembers the school bell.] Oh shoot! I'm gonna be late!. [Drops the pig and runs off.] [Cut to Fuurinkan high school. Inside, classes have begun, but just outside in the hallway...] Ramna: [Standing with a bucket of water in each hand, and a sign that says "I was late" draped on his neck.] Kuso...of all the lousy luck being held up by a pig! Kunoh: [Coming around the corner.] Oh, is that right? [Smiles and casually brushes his hair with his fingers.] That's an original excuse. Ranma: What are you doing here? Kunoh: [Looks at him contemptuously.] I have come to see if you have come to your senses and decided to stay away from the girl who is destined to be mine! Ranma: [Looks contemptuously back.] Akane doesn't seem to agree to it. Kunoh: [Confidently.] A fool like you can never understand it! Such a well brought up girl like Tendo Akane will never show her feelings too openly! Ranma: [Annoyed.] And a fool like you just cannot see the obvious! Anyway, aren't you suppose to be in class? Kunoh: [Arrogantly.] I am not bound by... Teacher: [From behind Kunoh.] A-hem...! Kunoh: ... [Cut to 1 minute later...] Kunoh: [Standing next to Ranma with a bucket of water in his hands, and a sign that says "I was cutting class" draped on his neck.] Ahh...the humiliation!! I, Kunoh Tatewaki, 17 years old, whom people call "Blue Thunder"; treated with such indignity! Ranma: [Mockingly.] What happened to "Shooting Star"? Kunoh: [Glares at Ranma.] You shall not change the subject of your conversation with your sempai! You shall stay away from Tendo Akane, unless you want to suffer the ultimate humiliation! Ranma: [Glares back.] Che...just my lousy luck being stuck here with you! Kunoh: [Glares back.] ...it is I who am stuck with you! Ranma: [Looks away from Kunoh and despondently towards the ceiling.] And I'm going to miss karate club...what else could go wrong? [Cut to the Dark Kingdom. In the middle of the gigantic chamber, Queen Beryl is seated on a throne. Standing before her, a hoard of faceless minions mindlessly chant their obedience with Beryl's every command.] Queen Beryl: [Waving her hands in front of a floating crystal ball.] The time for conquest has come! We will need the ginzuishou crystal to revive our ruler. For that, I need the humans' energy! Quarzite: [Appears out of nowhere and bows.] I am Quarzite. Before I proceed with my matchless plan to steal the humans' energy, I would beg a favor of asking a question to your majesty. Queen Beryl: [Incredulously.] Eh? What? Quarzite: What exactly is it with you and that stupid crystal ball anyway? Queen Beryl: FOOL!!! [Points at Quarzite and vaporizes him with a blast of energy.] Quarzite: AAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!!! [Disappears in a pile of dust.] Jadeite: [Appears out of nowhere and bows.] I am Jadeite. [Glances at the pile of ash, smiles, and mutters to himself...] Baka... [Turns back to Queen Beryl.] It has already begun. I have sent one of our faithful servants to see to our needs. He has reported that there is an abundant amount of energy and assures me that he will succeed. Queen Beryl: See to it personally Jadeite. We must succeed if we are to revive Queen Metallia and conquer the human world. Jadeite: [Bows again.] Hai, Queen Beryl-sama. [Cut to the school courtyard. The lunch hour is in full swing, as almost all the students take advantage of the momentary break in their day to eat. Sitting with bentos in front of them, Ranma and Akane take the opportunity to talk about Ranma's afternoon punishment.] Akane: Being late really does not improve a new student's image, you know. Ranma: Tell me about it. And as if standing out there with a bucket in each hand is not enough, Kunou has to harrass me all morning. I hope he doesn't follow me while I'm doing after-school clean-up. Akane: [Sarcastically.] What is it now? Not the "stay away from Tendo Akane" routine again, I presume? Ranma: Precisely that. Guess some people just cannot see the obvious. Akane: [With nose turned up.] *Some* people indeed! You should've seen what he was like the first day you met him. Ranma: Che! Do you expect me to back off from a challenge? Akane: Heh...anyway, what made you late? Ranma: Oh, some kids beating what I thought was some other kid. Turns out to be a black piglet with a strange moon-shaped mark on it's forehead. [As they continue the conversation, pan down to around the corner in the school hallway.] P-chan: [Eyes watching Ranma and narrowing.] Soon... [Cut to the school gymnasium. The students in the karate club are lined up in rows, with each one wearing a karate gi. In the front, a big beefy instructor barks commands as his assistant watches.] Instructor: [With authority.] Horse stance! Ike! Students: [Start punching forward in rhythm.] Ichi...ni...ichi...ni...! Assistant Instructor: [Eyes narrowing.] Heh...heh...heh...stupid humans...! [He surreptitiously eyes the new belts all the students are wearing. Unseen by all but him, the energy of the students is being slowly drawn away.] [Cut to the Dark Kingdom. Standing alone in the dark, Jadeite gathers the stolen energy into a spiraling ball of light. He smiles as his plan begins to reach fruition.] Jadeite: It is the energy of human effort and concentration. [Silently watches the ball of energy slowly growing and smiles a bit more.] Heh...haha...[Maniacally.] BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...! COMMERCIAL BREAK [Cut back to Fuurinkan High School. Ranma is cleaning the windows with a cloth. At his feet is a bucket of water.] Ranma: [Wringing the cloth.] Che...when oyaji finds out I was late again, he's going to throw a fit. [Fade to Ranma's imagination.] Giant-sized Genma: [While choking and pounding the life out of an SD Ranma.] RANMA!!!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO CATCH UP WITH SCHOOLWORK YOU MISSED?!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO PASS JUKEN?!! DO YOU WANT TO BE A RONIN?!! STARTING TOMORROW YOU'RE GOING TO CRAM SCHOOL!!! SD Ranma: AAAAIIIIEEEEHHHH!!!! [Fade back to reality.] [Ranma carries the bucket back to the janitorial sink and pours out the dirty water. He then rinses the bucket and fills it back up with clean water. As he does so, he fails to notice P-chan coming up from behind him until he's right at Ranma's feet.] Ranma: [Looking down.] Eh? It's that little black pig again. [Looking back at the bucket as it fills with water.] Go bug someone else! I got windows to clean! P-chan: [Nods.] Neatness...that's an asset that will take you far! Ranma: Eh? [Looks behind him and sees no one.] Who? P-chan: [Pokes Ranma's leg.] Down here! Ranma: [Stunned surprise.] Wh-wh-what...! The pig t-talks! P-chan: [Narrows his eyes.] And better than you it seems! At least I don't have a stuttering problem! Ranma: [Still stunned] ... P-chan: [Seemingly to itself.] Guess I'll have to make do with him. [To Ranma.] I'm here to ask you to fulfill your destiny. Ranma: [Recovering from the shock.] My destiny? What on earth are you talking about? P-chan: [Fiery background.] You are to be a great warrior that shall save the kingdom of Jyusenkyou! Ranma: [Looking uncomfortable with a big sweat drop on his head.] Whatever you say, but... [P-chan ignores him and proceeds to stare at the bucket of water. A beam of light comes out of the moon-shaped mark on its forehead and shines on the bucket. After a while the beam vanishes.] P-chan: Now, pour that water over yourself and fulfill your destiny. Ranma: [Uncertain] What do you mean .... P-chan: [With agitation.] Just pour the water over yourself and become the warrior Sailor Moon! Ranma: [Confused.] Wh-what are you talking about? Who's Sailor Moon? P-chan: [Frustrated.] JUST POUR THE WATER!! Ranma: [Looking uncertainly at the water. The surface now seems unnaturally calm and glistening.] Well...alright! [Lifts the bucket above his head and pours the water.] [...35 second transformation sequence later...] Sailor Moon: [Looking at herself in utter shock and dismay. The fact that his school uniform had changed into an abbreviated sailor suit seemed almost inconsequential to the other remarkable change.] KYAAAA...!!!! I'VE TURNED INTO A GIRL!!!! P-chan: [Unimpressed.] Isn't that to be expected? Sailor Moon: [Shock turning into anger.] WHAT HAPPENED TO TURNING INTO A WARRIOR? P-chan: [Embarrassed.] Oops...! Did I forget to mention "bishoujo" in my description? Sailor Moon: [Enraged, and about to help herself to some fresh bacon.] YES YOU DID FORGET YOU LITTLE...!!! [Suddenly interrupted as the sounds of moaning start echoing through the school hallways.] Wh-what the-? [Cut back to the school gymnasium. Most of the students have stopped practicing and are sprawled on the floor. The few who are conscious are moaning and on the verge of collapsing. The instructor is watching in disbelief as his entire class falls aparts.] Instructor: E-everyone's fainting...! [Turns to the assistant instructor.] Wh-what's going on...uhh...uhh...[Pointing with fear at the once human-looking instructor.] Assistant Instructor: [Morphing into something with long moving hair and beard, wearing a black karate gi.] Heh...heh...heh...[Turns his head completely around, revealing his face to be a Youma.] Instructor: [Paralyzed with fear.] S-sensei...?!? Youma: [With fangs now in his mouth.] YOU FOOL...! [Seizes the instructor by the throat.] Instructor: [Tries to free himself in vain.] Urk...! Youma: [Cackling.] BWAHAHAHAHA...! Sailor Moon: [From across the room.] Stop it! Youma: [Drops the instructor.] Eh? Who is it?!? Sailor Moon: [Points at the Youma.] To take an art that hones mind and body and perverts it into a thing of evil is unforgivable! [While performing silly poses.] For love and justice, the beautiful sailor-suited warrior Sailor Moon; In the name of the moon, I'll punish you! ...Long pause as everyone takes a moment to absorb the speech... Youma, Instructor: [Both staring at Sailor Moon.] ... P-chan: [With dejection.] Where on earth did you come up with such a stupid sounding speech? Sailor Moon: [With an unconfident look on her face.] Well...it just sorta came to me...KYAAAA! [Quickly dives for cover as the martial arts youma delivers a perfect knife-hand strike just below her feet, splitting the gymnasium floor in two.] Youma: BAKA...! YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE ME? DIE!!! [The Youma strikes again and again. Sailor Moon manages to evade the blows but is clearly outmatched.] Sailor Moon: [Unable to mount an offensive, and turns towards P- chan's general direction.] WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? P-chan: [Fearfully looking on and thinking to himself that he may have made a mistake in choice.] WHY ASK ME?!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE HERO!! Sailor Moon: [Clearly frustrated.] BAKA!! WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT BEING A WARRIOR?!? Youma: [Boastfully.] I AM THE YOUMA OF MARTIAL ARTS, SHENG RONG! I AM THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR...NONE CAN DEFEAT ME!!!! [The youma strikes forward and a hundred karate gi belts rush forward towards Sailor Moon. She evades most of them with great difficulty, but four catch her hands and feet. A fifth belt caught her neck!] Youma: [Gloating.] AND NOW, YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR IMPUDENCE!!!! [The youma tightens the grips on the belts, choking Sailor Moon in the process. P-chan looks very worried.] Sailor Moon: [Trying to break free.] ... [Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a wooden boken flies across the room, slicing the belts in half, then imbedding itself in the floor. Sailor Moon pulls away what's left of the belt away from her throat as the Youma expresses shock and surprise.] Youma: EH? WHO IS IT?!? [...Start Tuxedo Kamen music...] Tuxedo Kamen: A true warrior tempers his strength with wisdom. [To Sailor Moon.] So long as you believe in that, none can defeat you save yourself. [Teeth gleam, then with a twirl of his cape.] Saraba da! [Disappears behind the wall.] Sailor Moon: Su-sugoi...! P-chan: Quickly! While he's distracted; use the... [interrupted] Sailor Moon: [With a look of understanding.] Sou da! [Again performs silly poses.] MOON TIARA...ACTION! [...15 seconds animation sequence...] P-chan: [Looking pissed with a big sweat drop on his head.] What do you think you're doing? Youma: [Looking slightly confused; also with a big sweat drop on his head.] ... [The tiara, as a normal tiara would, bounces off the youma and falls to the ground.] Sailor Moon: [Tear flowing from her eyes] Hoe, hoe .... P-chan: [With slight disgust] Will you get more serious?! Sailor Moon: Eh? Aa! [Something snapped in her head] Youshi! Ikuze! Youma: [Recovering from surprise and again charges.] SHI-NE!!! [Sailor Moon charges towards the youma and the youma repeats the belt attack. However, this time she *easily* evades all the belts and the two fighters pass each other.] Youma: [Seemingly stunned] Ba-bakana...! [Close up on the youma, all vital points have bruises.] Sailor Moon: [Powering up] MOUKOU TAKABISHA!!!! [Sailor Moon fired a ki energy ball at the youma, annihilating it.] Sailor Moon: Yattaze! [Cut to the Dark Kingdom. Jadeite is collecting the energy into a large ball of spiralling light. Abruptly however, the energy stream stops, and the ball dissipates into space.] Jadeite: [Frowns with anger.] Hmph. Oh well. [Cut back to the school gymnasium. With the cessation of the energy drain, the students are slowly recovering their senses.] Sailor Moon: [Bends over to check on one of the students.] A-are you alright? Male Student: Uhh... [Regains his senses, then blinks at the pretty face in front of him.] Kawaii...! [Grabs her by the chest.] Sailor Moon: KYAAAAAA...! [Cut to outside the school. Sailor Moon, using incredible speed and agility, manages to leap from building to building and avoid the crowd of hentai otoko in the gymnasium.] Sailor Moon: [Still angrily thinking about being groped back at school.] Kuso...[Turns back to P-chan.] Well, I beat the bad guy! Turn me back to normal!! P-chan: Wait here! [Runs off, and returns with a teapot with steam coming from its spout.] Here! Sailor Moon: [Questioningly.] What am I suppose to do with this? Drink it? P-chan: No... [Kicks the teapot into Sailor Moon.] Ranma: [Voice being heard from far away.] AAAAIIIIEEEEHHHH!!!! HOT!!!! [Cut to the suburb road. Ranma is walking home with P-chan walking behind him. Ranma's face is calm as he tries to put the experience behind him.] Ranma: [Turning back towards P-chan with a little annoyance.] Why are you still following me? P-chan: I just wanted to congratulate you on your first victory! The first of many if we're lucky! Ranma: [Glares.] What do you mean many? [Exhales with exhaustion.] I'm just glad it's over! I can get back to being a normal guy again! P-chan: Until the next time...[Looks up into the sky with apprehension.] They'll be back! Ranma: [Nonchalantly.] Well that's your problem! P-chan: I'm afraid not! You must be ready to met this menace with the power now within you! You must take up the mantle! From now on, when evil threatens, you must use cold water to change back to Sailor Moon! Ranma: Wh-what a minute!! I never agreed to this! This is the worst possible thing that could happen to a guy! You gotta get rid of it! P-chan: I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. The power of Jyusenkyou water cannot be reversed. [Looks a little secretive.] At least...not yet! Ranma: You gotta be kidding me! You mean I'll change into a girl whenever I get wet?!? I'll be the laughing stock of the school! P-chan: You're right, this calls for drastic action. There's only one way to avoid public humiliation. Ranma: Quick, tell me! P-chan: [After taking a moment to think it over.] Quit the swim club! Ranma: [Falls over sideways.] Urk...! END CREDITS Writer Stephen Tsai Co-writer Regius Gunawan Pre-readers Robert DeLoura Hitoshi Doi Apologies to Takahashi Rumiko and Takeuchi Naoko Thank you for taking the time to read the first episode of my new series. Depending on response from the net, I may decide on continuing this series. Hope you enjoyed it and thanks again! Stephen Tsai Andy (The Android) Combs | Ayukawa: KASUGA-KUN! Stephen (The Chunk) Tsai | acombs@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu| Kasuga: S-sorry! | Watch for the doujinshi! | Kimagure Orange College Episode #12