Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime Subject: Bubblegum Crisis comic From: mfolivo@sactoh0.UUCP (Mark F. Newton John) Date: 6 Nov 89 09:35:30 GMT Organization: Sacramento Public Access, Ca. USA Lines: 112 In the latest issue of Comic Noizy, there is a BGC comic, and I though I would share it with the net. It is more of a parody, and I'll describe scenes the best I can. (Opening page- typical BGC "action" shot of the Knight Sabers in hard suit, with Priss up front) (Scene- night with lightning outside of a large building) This may be a little abrupt, but here we have Doctor Ontukey Fried's laboratory (Interior- test stand) And this doctor was naturally a scientist, naturally making amazing inventions. Doctor: A-ha- It's finally completed. (Closeup of doctor) Doctor: I've done it!! I've done it!! It may not fit for me to say but I must be a real genius (sic) (Note: this guy looks like Col. Sanders- note the name above) (Scene of the Doctor dancing, with a character crawling through the window) The happily dancing doctor did not notice the intruder approaching him. Character: Heh heh heh, dance, dance. (Doctor recieves a crack over the head) Doctor: GUHH! (Doctor is passed out on floor) Character: Good night, doc. The next day, Leon was going out of his line ofpolice work at the laboratory and was not being welcomed for that. Leon: Now Doctor, are sure (sic) nothing else was stolen? Doctor: I'm sure. Only my wig was... painfully stolen. Leon: By the way, what sort of research were you doing here? Doctor: That's none of your business. Now please leave. (Interior of mens room) Leon: Jesus- Doc being bald. what can I believe in from now. (sic) Leon was making mental noted to himself while pissing in the john. Leon found gray hair not completely washed away and a razor in the sink. Leon: Hey now? Leon: Could the Doc have shaven his own head to make us think he bald... That'd mean the stolen article wasn't a wig but something he couldn't even talk about... Leon left the bath room without washing his hands. That night in Sylia's residence inside the Ladies 633 Building... (Yawning) Linna: Oh God, when was the last time anything happend? (Bored) Priss: You said it- I'm board (sic) crazy. Nene: I wish a fire or somethin" will happen. (Drinking tea) Sylia: Just listen to what you're saying. (To group) Sylia: It all means that the world's safer and peacefuller (sic) than ever. Linna: Really? Sylia: What's wrong with that! But inside Sylia felt the same when her store wasn't doing so well. When-!! (BTOOM) Linna: !! (Outside, looking down towards Sylia's building) Voice: Something is burning. Voice: Traffic accident? (Group looking out of window) Linna: Hey look, that's the ADPolice! Nene: I wonder if a boomer's down there. (Running ADPolice) Officer: Hurry!! (Scene of man in underwear) He was a wierd large man, especially with his shirt tucked completely into his briefs. (ADPolice) Officer: He don't (sic) look normal- What's with him!! Officer: Shoot first- Ask questions later!! He received concentrated firepower from the ADPolice Boomer: Aargh Metal skin appears under the torn skin... Yes! He was a boomer!! Boomer: HAHAHAHA Not only that- he was a very strong boomer!! Officer: HELP Officer: Mama Officer: EYAAA!! (Leon comes on the scene with a big cannon) Leon: We won't have to go easy on him now. Get back everyone, I got a big present for him! Officer: Captain!! (Shot of Leon with big gun) Leon: You got no rights or be-good-to-your-local-boomer-weeks with me Leon had a habit of saying incomprehensible things. (Gun barrel) KRAMM!! (Boomer) Boomer: Force Field (Boomer deflecting shots) Boomer: Hahahaha Leon's railgun has no effect with the boomer's force field (Shot of Leaon's face, sweating) Leon: You son of a bitch!! Can't you fight fairly with your bare hands!! The boomer could- and did so happily (Boomer slugs Leon, sending him flying about 20 feet) Boomer: Bye bye Leon: Yow! Officer: Captain!! Officer: I knew it! Just another idiot! (View of TV monitor) (Streets in flames) Doc: Oh my... This could not be happening. (Sweating Doc) The new force field system I built to be used for such evil ( (Shot of Doc) Doc: I made it just for military deployment very secretly (sic) Doc: So it's existence can't be revealed to the public Doc: How can I ever say it was just stolen? The doctor liked to talk to himself (The doctor again) Doc: As I stand here right now, innocent people are being hurt by that boomer. Doc: But if I cooperated with ADPolice, everything will be brought into the light! I'd be likely to be made responsible for this mess morally. And then they'll find out about my girls and stuff. (Doc flailing arms, etc) Doc: No! I can't let that happen! But I've got to do something! The defence people will find out about this like this cutting off all money!! (sic) Oh god... I've got to think of something!! The doctor just loved to pantomime (Doc snapping his fingers) Doc: I've got it!! That's it!! Well I must be a genius after all!! Somehow the doctor knew how to contact the Knight Sabers At the time, Sylia was enjoying a bath convienently for the readers... (Shot of a nude Sylia in the bath) Phone: Bree Breep!! (Full frontal shot of Sylia) Sylia: Yes, everything will be strictly confidential. Yes My, that boomer running around right now... The doctor requested Sylia to recollect the force field emitting device inside the boomer (Rear view of Sylia) (still on phone) Doc: Fragments may possibly identify itself, so I want you to get it undamaged. Sylia: Well that will be hard to perform. (Sylia on phone) Sylia: It may cost you a little Sylia was great taking advantage of other people's weaknesses. (Doc on phone) Doc: How much? (Sylia hangs up) Click. (Sylia grabs a towel, and runs out of the bath) Sylia: We got one everybody! Lets get ready. Macky! Where is Macky! (Macky surfaces from Sylia's bath, wearing a snorkel) Macky: GASP! Macky is Sylia's younger brother. (Truck driving from building) Who, although being only 16 years old, drives a whole 12-wheeler somehow. And since we are running out of pages, heres our abridged version of them getting ready. Linna (butt view, pulling on tights) Priss (rear view, nude) Nene (same thing) Sylia (View of her breasts) (Shot of truck driving of into the distance) Voice: Where's the boomer? Voice: F-25 of 17th district Voice: How 'bout some BGM? Voice: Yeah, like "Asu e Touchdown" Voice: ...OK... (Scene of the battle) BWOOM Officer: Shit! ADPolice was experiencing difficulty K-11 pilot: Eat this, you perverted boomer!! Boomer: Force field Even the ADPolice's high-tech... Budget-eating K-11s couldn't even scratch the boomer with the force field. (Boomer slugging K-11) Boomer: Hahahaha You can't get me!! I've got a dick but your balls are too week to get me. Fuck-a-fuckas Yes... He was (another) perverted boomer. (MNJ note: Hey, that what it says... I'm just typing this in. It's in English with Japanese subtitles) When..!! (Knight Sabers on building) Sylia: Knight Sabers!! The boomer attacks without warning!! (Boomer fires mouth cannon) Sylia: Here to keep peace an... HEY!! Sylia's lines get cut off (Explosions near her) Sylia's attack... (Firing arm cannon) Boomer receives no damage (He easily deflects the blast) Linna's attack (She fires her cannon) Boomer receives no damage (Blast deflected by barrier) Boomer's attack (throws something) BCHANG! (Sylia gets hit by a postal box and is sent reeling) Sylia: Aaagh! Sylia received 10 points of damage Nene gives the "Kuwabara" spell (Nene hiding around building, saying "kuwabara"...) But the readers don't understand (Reader looking at Comic Noizy, with a "?" (Explanation) "Kuwabara" is a special spell pronounced to avoid being hit by lightning. Also is a legendary Japanese traditional spell for avoiding getting hurt Anyway, it did not work on the boomer (Nene gets blasted) Nene: aagh! Priss does not do anything! (Crossing her arms) Priss: Miteru mo suru koto no uchi da, tebasa (MNJ: huh? It's in Japanese) (Boomer flexes like a body builder) Boomer receives no damage Leon is asleep! (Leon on his head buried in the concrete, from earlier meeting with boomer) (Boomer still flexing, wearing the BVDs) Boomer recieves no damage Nene: There's a force field 1/5 meters wide being emitted from his torso (Sensor view of boomer, still flexing, showing force field) Nene's sensors catched the boomer's force field. (Sylia and Nene) Sylia: Nene, find out the force field's frequency!! We'll be able to penetrate it with a synchronized beam... Nene: Have we got enough power? Sylia: The power from both our packs should be enough. (The Knight Sabers) Priss: So you want us... Linna: To be decoys? Sylia: Yes, yes. That's right- now spread out. Hurry! (They start to argue) Linna: Why do we get all the hard parts? Priss: Yeah, we've had enough. Nene: C'mon c'mon, go, GO!! Nene: Go... (Boomer lets loose with it's mouth cannon) BOOM!!! The Knight Sabers gets wiped out!! But that would end the story, so forget that happened. Sylia: Be careful!! Priss: Leave it to us! Let's get going! Linna: Okay! (Priss decides to attack) Priss: A**hole! (Boomer pulls a pole out of the ground, and hits Priss with it) Linna: Priss! (Linna attacks) Linna: Knuckle Bomber!! Boomer: Airheads, taste some of this! Linna: Hu-h!? Boomer's force field began to expand, bouncing Linna off!! Linna: Ouch! Linna tasted the power of the force field!! (Linna crashes into a wall) Boomer: Ha hahaha, nobody will get me- ever! Hahaha. Boomer: What do you think of this on your face, haha (Boomer pulls shorts down, patting his butt in the general direction of the Knight Sabers) The boomers butt was cuter than they had imagined! Sylia: What's keeping you, Nene? Nene: Hold on! The freq is changing all the time. It's hard to synchonize to it. Priss: Hey, hurry it up! We're just barely making it! (Boomer is taking shots at Priss) (View of Nene's screen) Nene: The force field is right behind his navel. Sever the energy tube from the power unit and bingo! Nene: Make sure you don't hit the power unit, or everything will explode. Priss: Arrgh! BCHANNNG! (Boomer lands one on Priss) (Boomer menacing Priss, knocked against a wall, trapped) Boomer: I'm going to make mince meat out you in that suit. And I'll send it to a kid who sends me a fan letter! Priss: Sylia Sylia Sylia!! Do it, do it now!! Boomer: GO TO HELL! The boomer prepared the heat ray!! Boomer: AAAIEE!! When!! Sylia's long-awaited beam is shot. The boomer's force field began shrinking!! Boomer: OH MY!! All was going well with the force field about to collapse when--- Sylia: A-CHOO!! Sylia sneezed from a chill after the bath. Boomer: GNNGHH...!! This shock made the beam miss it's target and turning into a direct hit to the power unit. BUHKOOM! Of course making the boomer blow up to bits with the force field device. Sylia: .... Nene: Oh oh... Priss: We've wasted it. (Knight Sabers with open faceplates) Nene: What do we do now? We won't get a cent now. Linna: Sylia! Priss: Don't tell me I've gotten roughed around for nothing? The Knight Sabers started getting rough on Sylia (Looking up at Sylia, with her faceplate open) Sylia: This is how it should be. Sylia spells out the "This-is-how-it-should-be" routine. Linna: Huh?! Wait a ... Priss: What's that supposed to mean? How in the hell is this supposed to be like this? Priss gets pissed off, while Linna was completely dumbfounded. Sylia: The evolution of science. while improving the standard of created many side effects which contribute to the chaos of the world leading to... Sylia: Which not only disturbs the world people live in but from inside the human mind. Science would be needed to solve such problems it caused itself in turn being both useful as also hazardous to mankind. Sylia: So that's the way of peaceful science should not be taken advantage of, thus meaning that scientist had to suffer for creating that device. Sylia: and that's why I had planned from the begining to do what we did. You understand now, don't you? You do? Good!! Linna, Priss and Nene: ..... Sylia herself could not totally understand what she was saying herself, but the others, unable to understand anything could not say a word to oppose. Taking that advantage, Sylia shoves the story to it's end forcibly. Sylia: Come along, let's go. Others: ..... At that moment, the boomer's brief, blown high in the air by the explosion- fluttered down. (Priss sees this and turns) Priss: Ah, f***! (And shoots it with her spikes) Leon finds out he ws useless as a rock today. Leon: Shit (The are cleaning up, recovering parts of the boomer) Leon: Whatever... The boomer's wasted alright, but who was behind that boomer- I'll find out next issue!! But since this is the last issue of Comic Noizy, he won't be able to do that. (Leon falls over) (Still trying to be cool, Leon puts on his shades) Leon: heh heh heh, mai tana- So, Leon finding nothing else to do... Pulls a cool act to finsh everything up!! (Leon does a front flip...) Leon: Hup!! And f*cks up. Leon: Er... (big lump on his head, cracks in the sidewalk, holding his head, in pain) (Epilogue) 2032 AD MegaTokyo, stil in chaos as usual, is in need of helpful support of ADPolice and Knight Sabers. So we'd like to wish them well to be as busy as they could ever get. (Boomer's brief pinned against wall by Priss' spikes, with "Knight Sabers" burned into the wall) FIN