Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.stories
From: omega@io.org (Misha Krasinsky)
Sender: megazone@world.std.com (MegaZone)
Organization: Internex Online (Data: 363-3783/Telnet: io.org)
        Doctor Who and the Tree of Doom: an Oh My Goddess! Crossover
        ------------------------------------------------------------

                                PART ONE


    A deep, rumbling growl echoed down the dark corridor. An indeterminate,
and somewhat dim, lightsource silhouetted an enormous furry figure. The beast

knew neither where it was nor why; for that matter, it did not know how it
got
here. As it lumbered down the dark passage, its stentorian breathing danced
off the murky walls, mocking the creature's current state of affairs. Its
panting grew louder and more frequent. It was hopelessly lost. In
frustration,
the beast let out a blood-curdling roar.
    It was hungry.

                        * * * * * * * * * * * * *


    "That's what happens when you forget your lunch," said a very sexy,
tan-skinned woman with large green cat-eyes and long white hair -- the
kind of woman that most men fantasize spending a third of their life in bed
with. She, another girl, and a young man were standing outside of a
large Japanese temple. "Are you so insensitive that you would do something
to hurt Belldandy's feelings?"
    Keiichi felt he did not deserve the criticism that was directed at him.
"Listen, Urd. It was an accident. I swear," he explained, busy consoling a
very emotional Belldandy, who was sobbing uncontrollably.
    Urd was visibly disturbed at the sight. Belldandy, who tried so hard to
please Keiichi with a delicious lunch, had mistaken his forgetfulness as a
sign that maybe he either didn't like her food, didn't like *her*, or maybe
he
wished to break The Contract.
    This contract was the Mother of All Contracts. When Keiichi Morisato
first met the goddess Belldandy, he was granted one wish -- and he wished
that
she would stay with him forever. Ever since, he's had a goddess who would do
anything for him, even darn his socks. This complacency had been too much for

her sister Urd, who preferred to dominate every situation.
    "I think you should apologize to her," Urd suggested with a sly smile.
She
saw that her sister was creating a pool of tears on Keiichi's shoulders.
Belldandy miraculously stayed dry.
    "Belldandy, I don't want you to leave. I forgot my lunch, that's all."
Not
satisfied that this might be enough, he decided that he should express his
true feelings. "I love --" He stopped.
    Belldandy stopped her crying and looked up with an expectant smile.
"Yes?"
she said, prodding him on.
    Yes, yes, thought Urd. This was it. Her work was about to pay off.
    "I love," he continued, "your cooking."
    Urd fell over.
    Belldandy, as she began to levitate, beamed a bright smile that
would've warmed even the most cynical of hearts. "Thank you, Keiichi-san,"
she
said tenderly as she kissed his cheek.
    His cheeks grew red and he felt a warm glow around his body. He wasn't
sure if that was due to Belldandy's powers, or if that's what always happens
when someone feels faint.
    He felt faint.
    Urd turned her eyes up into her skull. Big deal, she thought.
    Once Keiichi decided he was fit to drive, he and Belldandy went on their
way to college. Urd watched as the motorbike drove away. Once she was sure
that they were gone, she rushed to the backyard to check up on Skuld.
    "It's about time," said Skuld, a young girl with a long mane of shiny
black hair. She was the youngest sister to the other goddesses, and although
she appeared to be quite young, she had an intelligence beyond her years. She

was dressed in beige with matching jodpurs, and black boots, a kind of outfit

that would be expected at a safari in Kenya, or would belong on some RAF
pilot. That is, if she weren't wearing a beret.
    In fact, she was playing 'movie director'.
    "I hope for your sake that it's ready," Urd mumbled.
    "Voila!" Skuld proclaimed with pride. She waved arm as if to reveal
the strange looking contraption which stood beside her. It was actually
Banpei-kun, a spherical robot with spindly limbs and a large rimmed hat above

its expressionless face. It had some new extensions such as a crude video
camera imbedded in its chest, a silver screen to reflect shadow-eliminating
light, and a boom microphone protruding from its hat. Skuld sighed and hugged

her newest creation as if she was a child who just got a new doll on
Christmas
morning.
    "I see," said Urd. A radiant glow enveloped her as the very fibers of
her dress stripped themselves off her body. The erstwhile strands had then
blended into a new silky fabric which then reformed around her as some kind
of belly dancing attire. The translucent trappings barely suggested that she
was decently covered. "This should help get Keiichi's blood burning!"
    Skuld wasn't sure how dancing would create the desired effect, and
said so.
    Urd attempted to patient with her youngest and sometimes most annoying
sister. "In many cultures, dance is a mating ritual. It brings couples closer

together."
    "I know. You've told me that already. But why are we trying to get
Keiichi and Sis together?"
    "'Cause Keiichi is pathetic. He has a contract that ensures that
Belldandy is with him forever, yet he's not utilizing its full potential.
Kinda like having a Porsche that can go 180 clicks, but only driving it 40."
    "And kinda like you having all this power but having little control
over it," added Skuld, arms crossed.
    Urd began boil. "Shaddup, you!" she roared. Then she remembered to calm
down. She really needed Skuld's help, no sense burning bridges -- for now.
"Ah, I'll forget you said that. Besides, if nothing happens between them, The

Contract could be reviewed and annulled."
    "Aaah!" Skuld gasped. "You don't mean --"
    "Yes, Skuld. Lord-sama would unleash special agents trained to deal
with such tricky matters," Urd had some run-ins with them in the past. She
didn't even want to deal with them within an arm's length. "The Relief
Goddess
Office Lawyers!"
    "Okay Urd, you'd better make this good!" Skuld warned. She never could
understand why Urd would want to help Keiichi. She made a couple of
adjustments on her faithful robot and proceeded to get down to business. "The

Banpei-kun extended A/V recording device -- code name: Movie Maker 2000 -- is

now ready." The mecha clicked and whirred to life. Skuld pressed play on a
nearby ghetto blaster, and from out of its speakers came Middle-Eastern music

which, to the untrained western ear, sounded suspiciously like Dead Can
Dance.
"Lights... camera... Urd!"
    "What? Oh." Urd began to sway her hips. Within the flow of the music,
she gyrated and contorted her body, occasionally winking at the camera.She
was
a natural.
    "Good, good," encouraged Skuld, monitoring the recording via a nearby
television set. She was proud that her her movie was turning out so well. If
it were possible, she would've preferred the starring role belonging to
Banpei-kun, or another of her brilliant mecha designs. However, she was
content to be director, and a mighty fine one she was, she thought.
    Of course, there was a fatal flaw in her Movie Maker 2000. Nobody
noticed the clouds moving away from the bright noon sun. Nobody noticed the
concentrated rays bouncing off Banpei-kun's reflective screens. And nobody
noticed the redirected light singeing the ends off of Urd's platinum blonde
hair. That is, not until Urd smelt the smoke.
    "Yow! Skuld, you idiot!" blasted Urd, frantically snuffing the flame