krim@cbnewst.att.com Ranma 1/2 FanFiction The Panda-King Karl Rim krim@cbnewst.att.com Part I: The sky cries out! The Invasion of Heaven -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [ Opening scene, in the setting sun, we see five familiar figures trudging up an incline. The leading figure is a small pygmie leaping up ahead of the others. Following are three teenagers carrying backpacks. The last is a huge hairy beast of a man. ] Ranma: Hey, old woman! Is it much further now? Shampoo: Not far now, Ranma. Cologne: Patience, son. It's just beyond that clearing. Panda: [ sign ] Let's go! Ranma: Hey Dad! Wait for me! Akane: Ranma, maybe it's not such a great idea to just rush... [ Ranma and the Panda disappear towards the clearing. ] Shampoo: Great Grandmother, shouldn't it start very soon? [ From the cloudy sky, the moon comes into view. Suddenly various constellations surrounding the shining orb blazes into the sky. A beam of moonlight shoots down into the clearing. Immediately the ground at the patch erupts, hurling a spiralling mass of stone, rock, and Saotome across the heavens. ] Panda: [ sign ] WH-_...! Ranma: AHHHHHHHHHHH! Cologne: Yes, very soon. [ Within moments a grand temple rises from the earth ] Cologne: The celestrial circle closes once again, the god's vessel has returned. Shampoo: Ah! Great Grandmother, the temple is so beautiful! Akane: It's dazzling. Cologne: [ staring out ] Yes, it has been too long. Ranma: [ crawling out from the gravel ] Uhh... did it happen? Akane: Ranma, hurry up! You'll miss the whole thing! Cologne: Shampoo, get ready to set up camp. Shampoo: Yes, Great Grandmother. Ranma: Set up camp?! Cologne: That's right son. Ranma: Why?! Shampoo: Suppertime, Ranma. Panda: [ suddenly popping up and holding a sign: ] Food! [ Sometime later, the camp is set up and Shampoo is cooking dinner. She stops stirring the wok from time to time to take in the breathtaking view of the temple. ] Ranma: I don't understand! Why can't we go in now?! Cologne: Patience, son. Only a fool just runs blindly into the lion's den. Unless you give the proper respect and caution the great beast is deserves, you will be devoured. Akane: Let it rest, Ranma. [ stretches out ] It's late. Ranma: Yeah, maybe we should all get a good night's rest. Shampoo: Yes! We sleep together, Ranma! Ranma: Uh..! Shampoo...! [ Ranma proceeds to run away from a chasing Shampoo ] Akane: Grr... Even when on the most important quest in your life.. all you can think about is making your perverted advances! [ Pulls out a wooden mallet out of nowhwere and bashes Ranma in the head ] Ranma: Ah...! You stupid tomboy! Akane: Pervert! Ranma: I wasn't doing anything! Cologne: Ah youth, always so energetic. Panda: [ sign ] Good night [ Sometime later that night, Ranma is in his sleeping bag (alone), tossing and turing ] Ranma: It's no use. I can't go to sleep. Soon I'll be a MAN. Hey dad, are you awake? Dad? Dad...? DAD! Panda: [ Hitting Ranma on the head with a sign: ] No! Ranma: I'm just too excited to sleep. I had my doubts about the temple but ever since the old woman came with news of... [ Flashback at the Tendo Dojo, two days ago ] Ranma: A cure?! Shampoo: That's right. [ Shampoo, Cologne, Ranma, the Panda, all the Tendos are around a table. Kasumi is serving drinks and Akane is holding P-chan in his usual position ] Cologne: Once every century a heavenly temple of the gods appears on earth. In it is the book of life which contain the secrets in becoming fully human. Akane: A heavenly temple? Shampoo: Yes, great temple but terrible power. Very holy, much danger. Only bravest and most experienced from village ever dare to venture to its gates. Ranma: You mean you visited this temple before? Cologne: The last time was when I was just a young lass, still in the prime of my youth. Ranma: But I thought you said it was only a century since the last time the temple appeared. Akane: Ranma! Be polite, she didn't have to share the secret with you. Cologne: [ chuckles ] I see you're still full of spirit. That's good, son, because you're going to need all of your wits to pass the gods's trials. Ranma: Eh? Cologne: Come now son, you're about to enter the temple of the gods. You don't really think they're just going to hand over their heavenly secrets to one some young upstart mortal. You must prove to be worthy of receiving their wisdom. Ranma: Wait a minute. Why are you sharing this secret with only me? What about Mousse and Ryoug..uh... [ glances at Akane while P-chan starts to sweat ] Akane: Of course! Ryouga-kun is such a nice person, he'd be more than happy to help you, Ranma. [ Ranma groans to himself ] Shampoo: When will this silly girl finally learn? Akane: Who are you calling silly, cat-girl?! Cologne: Enough, Granddaughter. We have not much time. The temple will appear within two days. It will be a hard task to reach the site within the time restraint. And we have no time to waste by taking on clumsy idiots who will slow us down. P-chan: Grunt! Grunt! Ranma: Easy, *P-chan*, she's right. We may be entering the presence of gods and the last thing we need are some simple minded fools tripping over themselves. Don't worry, once we obtain the cure, we'll share it with anyone who might need it. Nabiki: Or we could *sell* it. Cologne: Very good, son. You, your father, Shampoo and I will be leaving within the hour. Soun: Akane goes with them. Akane: What?! But I can't. I have school, homework! Soun: In an important life quest like this, it is essential that a young wife accompanies her husband to help build their future union. Cologne: This isn't like a training trip, it is much more dangerous. The journey will be plagued by many perils. Only those with something to gain should acompany us. Soun: Akane knows the risks and she'll take them. Love will conquer all. Akane: Father! Nabiki: Akane, this is a once in a lifetime chance. You'll get a chance to impress some very powerful and rewarding gods. If they're generous, who knows what riches they may bestow on you. Kasumi: Ranma-kun might need your support, Akane. Akane: Well... Shampoo: We have no need for such a clumsy girl. Akane: Grr.. I'm definitely coming! Cologne: Very well, but you have been warned. Akane: [ to Ranma ] I'm not doing it for you. Kasumi: Akane, before you leave, could you please help me clean up? Akane: Sure, sister. [ Kasumi and Akane take the pile of dishes into the kitchen. A few minutes later a loud crash is heard ] Cologne: We must prepare to leave immediately. Kasumi: Akane, please use the liquid dishwasher instead of the soap bar when you're washing the dishes. And try not to drop so many dishes, our good china is very expensive to replace. Nabiki: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Ranma: [ thinking ] At last this crazy mixed up body can be fixed and I can return to a full MAN! Shampoo: [ thinking ] When I return into a full woman, Ranma won't be running away from me any more. [ eyes go starry ] Soun: [ thinking ] On such a intimitate journey to fight for their future together, those two will finally learn to get along. [ wipes a tear with a hankerchief ] Panda: [ sign ] "Too bad, I won't be able to eat as much anymore..." Cologne: [ thinking ] I just hope this doesn't turn into a total disaster like the last time. P-chan: [ thinking ] Grunt! Grunt! Grunt.. [ Back to the present ] Ranma: It's been a pretty rough couple of days, but we're finally here. And now we're only hours away from a cure. Did you ever think the day of a cure would ever occur, Dad? Nn? Dad? Dad? Panda: [ sign ] Zzzzzz. Ranma: Fine.. go to sleep... you lazy old... [ After some time, Ranma finally starts to drift off to sleep. Soon he gets comfortable in his sleeping bag and starts dreaming of his new life being cured. And then a huge explosion sends everyone sprawling over ] Ranma: What the heck was that?! Cologne: The temple, someone has breached the inner sanctum! Everyone else: WHAT?! Cologne: Quickly, to the temple! We must stop them from disturbing the Gods! Ranma: I knew we should have investigated the temple sooner! Cologne: Just concentrate on getting there, son, or the loss of a cure will be the least of your worries. Ranma: What's the worst that could happen? Cologne: You could have an enraged god tearing up the landscape. Ranma: Let's move it! [ Scene: On some rocks by the crashing sea, two figures are sitting down enjoying the breeze ] Voice: When young lovers wish to build their mutual passion, try the scent that builds your confidence like a love potion. Keich: Belldandi, you smell wonderful today. Belldandi: Do you like it? My sister Urd gave me some new perfume today. Keichi: B...Bell...Belldandi! Belldandi: Keichi-san! [ Pan back to see Urd spying on the two, she was the "voice" ] Urd: When you're a hopeless mortal and a hopeless lover, try Trinity: the perfume fit for a Goddesses. [ We see Skuld inspecting a super economy size of Trinity ] Skuld: Hmm, what's this? [ takes a whiff ] Ahh, the smell of it. [ Cut back to the rock scenery, Keichi and Belldandi are half into an embrace ] Belldandi: Keichi-san! Keichi: Ahhh, My Goddess. Urd: By Calvin-Kun. Skuld: Tastes good too! [ takes a swig from the bottle ] [ At the temple gates ] Ryouga: Do you see them anywhere? Mousse: I can't see their camp. Are you sure you've got the directions right? Ryouga: I'm sure. They were headed north. Mousse: We went East. Ryouga: Are you saying that I got us lost?! Mousse: Never mind, look, here's an inn. We can ask for directions in here. [ starts pushing on the door ] Ryouga: Blast that Ranma! If he thinks I'm just going to wait around and wait for him to botch up the job! Mousse: Blast, the doors are stuck. [ starts knocking on the door ] Hey! Is anyone up? Ryouga: Move aside, let me try. [ Ryouga pushes as well but even he can't get the doors open ] Grrr... open blast it! Open!... Ugh...! [ After straining some more ] Forget it! ...Exploding Point Technique! [ A huge explosion erupts, when the smoke clears Ryouga and Mousse are in a mound of rocky rubble but amazingly the doors are still standing ] Ryouga: What?! Impossible! Let's see it take this: Mousse: Uh, Ryouga... Ryouga: Roaring Lion Bullet! [ He fires off one of his force blasts. It hurles towards the door only to bounce off and rebounds back at him. It slams into him and hurls him into one of the stone statues in the courtyard ] Uhh, It's not possible... Mousse: The hinges are on this side, to open you just pull. [ The doors yeild to Mousse's tug ] Ryouga: I hope this inn has a bath, I could really use one. Mousse: It's a good thing I spotted this inn, it looks like it's about to rain. [ The two enter, while outside the perimeter, Ranma and the others approach the courtyard, Genma has turned to human form ] Ranma: I still don't understand why we wasted time filling our hot water bottles. Cologne: The gods look down on animals as lower life forms. To enter into their presence we must appear as humans, the highest form of life on earth. Ranma: But what are you going to do about yourself? Genma: Ranma! Pay attention, we may be going into battle, you best be on your guard. Cologne: The guardians of the temples might be alerted. Ranma: Are they hostile? Cologne: Only to those whose hearts are filled with evil intentions and destruction towards the temple. Ranma: Look, the Temple doors are ajar. [ As Ranma runs towards the door, a figure from the shadows strikes Ranma down ] Ranma: Ouch! Who's there?! [ From the shadow, the person steps out into the moonlight. He is dressed in ancient armor but his complextion is oddly pale ] Ranma: Stone? Stone Guardian: Come no further, mortal scum. Your invasion will be repelled no matter what force you bring to bear. Ranma: Wait a minute, we've come in peace. We'er just here to... Guardian: Silence! You are forbidden to approach any further. Return to whence you came. Ranma: Listen, we didn't come to fight. We're not your enemies. Guardian: You have been warned, fool. Retreat or be be destroyed. Ranma: Look, time is wasting, if you don't let us through, I'm going to have to run you down. Akane: Ranma, be careful, he's made of stone. Ranma: I can handle a stone blockhead. Akane: Uh, Ranma... Guardian: Rise my brethren! Defend the holy Heavenly Temple against these invading defilers! [ In the courtyard, there are seven more stone statues like the guardian. With a sickly grinding sound they ALL start moving ] Ranma: SH**t! Cologne: Son, let's not have history repeat itself like the last time I was here. Ranma: You mean you knew about the animated Stone Guardians?! Cologne: The same thing happened the last time, but we were smart enough not to engage them. Akane: Ranma! [ She and Shampoo are surrounded by three of the stone guardians ] Ranma: Akane! I'm coming! [ Ranma takes a flying leap at the lead one, hitting it in the head with his heel, he knocks it down ] ARGGGHGHGH!! My foot!! I think it's broken! It feels like I hit... Akane: Stone? Ranma: Yeah, stone... Oh well, that's one down. Shampoo: Ranma! Ranma: What?! [ The stone guardian he knocked down slowly pulls himself back up to his feet. Although his head is cracked where Ranma kicked him, he doesn't seem any worse for wear. ] Blast! What does it take to stop there guys?! Cologne: This, son. [ Cologne jumps on top of one of the Guardian with her staff. The force of her blow splits the guardian in half ] Shampoo, you know what to do. Shampoo: Yes, Great Grandmother. [ A guardian comes right up to her but Shampoo strikes him with her palm and he explodes from the contact] "Nihao." Ranma: The Exploding Point Techinque... Of course! [ Ranma closes his eyes in concentration ] Roaring Lion Bullet! [ Ranma fires a force blast at another approaching Guardian shattering it to pieces ] Akane: Ranma! [ She's nabbed by one of the remaining Guardians ] Ranma: Blast! Akane! [ He jumps on top of the Guardian trying to pry his fingers off Akane. The Guardian graps Ranma with his other hand, incidently letting Akane go, and slams Ranma down into the ground, hard ] Ranma: Ouch.. Blast it Dad, how about some help?! Genma: That's a good idea, Ranma.. How about giving some?! [ He's caught between two Guardians who are strangling him ] Ranma: [ caught in the hold of a guardian ] Somebody look after Akane! Shampoo: Ranma! Shampoo help you! Akane: I don't need any help. With just the power in my one right fist... Hyaaa! [ She strikes against the guardian Ranma was being held with. Amazingly it shatters against her attack. ] Ranma: Akane.... Of all the stupid...! The last time you did something like that you broke your hand! Akane: I was just trying to help! Ranma: I don't need any help! Akane: Of all the chauvanistic..! Ranma: You violent Tomboy! Akane: Well you still needed my help! Ranma-chan: I'm a MAN! I don't need any girl's help! [ By this time the rain has started falling ] Shampoo: Ranma, Akane, fight with each other later, now fight the common ... Meow!... Meow! Ranma-chan: [ ignoring the rest of the world ] You bratty obnoxious girl! Akane: You perverted wierdo! [ In the mean time the Panda, now much larger, has easily wormed out of their grasp and picked up one of the (now smaller) guardians, with but a single paw he raises him high and sends him crashing into the other one. ] Panda: [ hitting Ranma with the sign: ] Pay attention to the fight! [ The remaining guardians (all two of them) now just stand, their eyes transfixed at Ranma-chan and the Panda ] Guardian1: [ to his companion ] The shifter has returned! Guardian2: If he has truly returned then we cannot bar the way of one such as him. Guardian1: He has already decimated a whole company of us. There is nothing more we can do. Guardian2: [ to Ranma and the others ] Enter! We shall not block your passage. Ranma-chan: Huh? Cologne: Never-mind, son. We have to hurry and stop the real intruders before the wrath of the gods are invoked. [ Ranma-chan remains transfixed as the guardians slowly return into the background and melt back into inanimate stone statues ] Ranma-chan: Amazing... Panda: [ sign ] Ranma, Let's go! Ranma-chan: Uh, yeah. Charge! [ rushes forward followed by the Panda and Shampoo Neko ] Cologne: Eh?! [ realizes something ] No, wait you fools! Akane: Ahhh...! Ran..ma... [ collapses ] -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= End of Part I Ranma 1/2 FanFiction The Ledgend of the Panda-King by Karl "The Krimlin" Rim krim@cbnewst.att.com Part II: Mysteries from the past! Recaptured Legacies! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [ Opening Scene, Ranma-chan, the Panda, Shampoo Cat, Cologne and Akane have just resisted an onslaught of stone guardians in the courtyard of the Temple of the gods ] Ranma-chan: We have to stop the Temple Intruders before they invoke the wrath of the gods! Panda: [sign] Charge! [ Ranma rushes forward followed by the Panda and Shampoo Neko ] Akane: Ahhh...! Ran..ma... [ collapses ] Cologne: Wait you young fools! [ Ranma skids to a stop only to have the Panda crash into him and fall on top of him ] Panda: [sign] Ouch! Ranma-chan: ...Hea...vy... Cologne: Hold, son. Ranma-chan: [ picking himself up ] What's the big idea?! Cologne: I warned you about entering into the presence of gods. You must show a respectful and submissive manner for a young girl. Ranma-chan: WHAT?! I'M A @%^&$& MAN!!! OUCH! [ As Cologne hits him on the head with her staff ] Cologne: This is what I'm talking about. With that attitude you might actually stay a girl forever. Ranma-chan: [ to himself ] Old bag... Cologne: And the gods do not even grant audiences with animals, no matter how human they might seem. Panda: [sign] Whoops. Ranma-chan: [ noticing his rather large father ] Eh? Shampoo-Neko: Niyago (Meow). Ranma-chan: [ finally noticing Shampoo is a cat ] ARGGHGHGHHHHHH!!!! Keep away from me!!! [ Ranma-chan runs rampant as Shampoo-Neko chases him around until Ranma-chan runs into a Stone Statue, cracking it and knocking him/herself out as well ] Shampoo-cat: Meow? [ A little later, everyone has the group is sitting outside the temple doors. Ranma, Shampoo and Genma have all returned to their normal forms. Genma is bandaging Akane's hand while Ranma is nursing his head where he has a big bandage on it. ] Genma: There you go Akane, I may not be Dr. Tofu but I've treated minor injuries before. Ranma: You call putting a bandage on a wound treating an injury?! Genma: Don't be such a wimp, Ranma! A real martial artist abides all hardships and injuries. [ To Akane] I think it's fine but try not to use your hand until we can have a doctor examine it. Ranma: Of all the stupid stunts... I knew you'd hurt your hand striking stone like that.+ Akane: It doesn't hurt a bit... Ranma: Oh yeah? Then I dare you to take a shot a me. C'mon, free hit, it's not like your totally unfamilar with the concept.. Akane: Grr....! Genma: Akane! [ stops Akane from making a fist ] Ranma: I knew it! Weakling! [ Akane hits him in the face with her OTHER fist ] Ow... Bratty Tomboy... Cologne: Is the child ready yet? Precious moments are wasting. I told you that I wouldn't tolerate any liabilities on this quest. Akane: I was just trying to help... Ranma: Well if you can't help maybe you should just stay behind. Akane: Ranma... [ looks away sadly ] Genma: [ hitting Ranma on the head with his fist ] Ranma! Akane is your fiancee! She risked great danger to herself to help you. Ranma: Yeah, well... Genma: She's trying her best but all you can do is hurl insults at her and hurt her feelings. Ranma: I,.. I... Genma: I'm such a failure as a Father! My son doesn't even have the courtesy of a martial artist to thank his allies. Your ancestors would be so ashamed of their line... Ranma: Okay Okay! I get the message! [ Ranma takes a look towards Akane. She's sitting and facing away from everyone. Her head is slightly bowed. Ranma stares at her for a few moments and then takes a deep breath and slowly walks over to her ] Ranma: Akane... Akane: Ranma... What do you want? Ranma: I just wanted to say... [ swallows hard ] that... Akane: I don't feel like talking right now... Ranma: Listen, I just want to tell you... Cologne: ...It's time. [ pops up behind Ranma ] Come along son, we can't afford to waste any more time. Akane: That's what you wanted to tell me?! Ranma: ....well.. uh... yeah... Akane: Ranma... Then you want me to go with you?! Ranma: Uh.. Yeah... [ Akane smiles and quickly rejoins the others, a confused Ranma follows ] [ In the meantime Shampoo is looking around the courtyard. She notices a flower patch still blooming. ] Shampoo: Ahh... So pretty.. [ She picks an unusal exotic looking flower and puts it in her hair. Nearby is the statue Ranma rammed into earlier. It is beautifully crafted work of art. Shampoo stares at it for some time but then frowns. ] Shampoo: Hmm... Something odd about this statue.. [ She looks it up and down and happens to glance at the small pedestal it is standing on. There happens to be some writing in Kanji. Shampoo bends down to read it ] Shampoo: What's this? Writing is so old.. "Sky... Bandit..." [ She looks around and sees some more statues near it. One seems to be of a boar and another some sort of serpent ] Shampoo: Hmmm... Cologne's voice: Shampoo! We're going in now! Shampoo: Eh? Coming Great Grandmother! [ As Shampoo leaves to rejoin the others, the view pans on to the one of the statues. It's expression appears to change slightly into a wicked smile ] [ Back at Cologne's Restaurant, the Nekohanten, all is quiet. Inside all the chairs are put up, the lights are out, not a soul in sight. Suddenly the doors explode inwards. Through the settling dust three figures stride through. A tall man covered in long flowing robes, apparently the leader walks ahead. ] Stranger: Cologne! Come out, we have business to discuss! [ No answer, the stranger starts getting aggitated ] Blast it, old woman! Stop hiding and face me! [ Still no answer, the dust starts to settle ] Companion1: Helloooo! Anybody home? Companion2: I don't think anyone's here. Companion1: Maybe they went out to lunch? [ From the wreckage, a sign falls into view ] Stranger: [ reading ] "Sorry We're Closed.." Blast, I'm too late. Let's go! Companion1: Do we have enough time to stop at a restaurant for lunch? Stranger: NO!!! [ Back at the temple ] Ryouga: Face it, we're lost. Mousse: We're not lost. See [ pointing at the walls ] There're directions everywhere. Ryouga: Directions?! I can't understand them! Mousse: That's becuase *you* can't read Chinese. Now follow me, this is the way to the reception hall. [ Elsewhere in the Temple, Cologne is leading the others down one of the vast hallways. The walls are decorated with various golden designs, shelves are lined with jade artifacts ] Cologne: We must be careful, there are still many defenses. Try not to disturb anything [ Genma has accidently knocked over a vase ] I hope the gods are in a better mood this century. Ranma: Old woman, you've been here before. If there were intruders, where would they most likely head? Cologne: Towards the main hall. This way, follow me. [ At the main hall, Ryouga and Mousse have finally arrived. It is a huge chamber. In the center lies a huge Jade Egg decorated with a wide assortment of stones ] Ryouga: Mousse, I'm beginning to think that this isn't just a fancy inn we've stumbled into. Mousse: [ nods and fixes his glasses ] Mm. Cologne: Stop defilers! You will never.. What?!.. Mousse? Ryouga? [ The others have finally caught up to them ] Akane: Ryouga-kun! Ranna: Ryouga?! Ryouga: Eh, Ranma?... Akane-san! (All 3): What are you doing here? Shampoo: Mousse, why are you always interfering. Mousse: I didn't go to all this trouble just to follow a mean girl like you, I'm only here for the cure. Shampoo: Is that so? Ranma: Why don't you just run along before you get hurt, P-chan. Ryouga: Who's P-chan?! Akane: Nn? Cologne: Maybe bringing all these youngsters wasn't such a good idea. [ Meanwhile, unnoticed by the others, Genma's eyes turn toward an opening in the room. Almost hypnotically Genma slowly walks up to the space. It turns out to be an entrance to an adjoining room. Strangely enough the room is lit by hundreds of flickering candles. ] Genma: Lighted Candles? In a Temple that hasn't resurfaced for a century? [ Genma shakes his head in confusion but continues his walk nevetheless. In the center of the room is some sort of alter. There are steps leading up to a marble stand and on it is a great book. Genma, almost translike walks up to the stand. He glances at the cover. ] Genma: "Book.. of.. the...Cursed.."? [ starts flicking through the book ] "Hibiki..." "Mousse..." "Panty-hose..." "Shampoo.." Whoops, overshot.. Ah, yes.. "Saotome..." [ He slowly reaches inside his tunic and pulls out an eraser and rubs virgorously at the spot ] And now, the curse is broken.. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I did it! I'm cured! Eh, what's this?... "Tendo..."?! [ Genma is so shocked he accidently knocks over the book. The book lands on some candles. Amazingly the book doesn't catch fire. But the candles are knocked over and set some drapes on fire. Genma tries his best to put out the fire but despite his best efforts it starts blazing out of control ] Genma: [ running out ] FIRE! Ryouga: Who's P-chan?! Akane: Ranma, stop picking on Ryouga-kun! He's only here to help you! Ranma: Stay out of this you obnoxious little... Waaaa! Shampoo: Then you don't care if I do this? [ hugging Ranma ] Mousse: RANMA!!!! Akane: Ranma! Stop playing with Shampoo at a time like this! Shampoo: Go away, boring girl. Akane: I've had it! Ryouga: Ranma, will you ever stop agonizing Akane-san! Ranma: It's not my doing! Genma: [ knocking over Ryouga and Mousse to grab Ranma by the throat ] Haven't you been listening to me?! There's a FIRE! And it's spreading! Everybody: EH?! [ They see the smoke rising from the room ] Ranma: Dad! You idiot! What did you do?! Shampoo: Look, the egg! Cologne: Oh no! The sacred egg! Everyone! Get out at once! Akane: Ranma! [ The giant egg starts to crack. Blinding light erupts from the forming lines that start breaking off. ] Ryouga: Akane-san! Shampoo: Ranma! Mousse: Shampoo! Ranma: Who's Shampoo?! [ The egg finally explodes, raining shards all over the crew. Ryouga shields Akane with his body while Ranma and Mousse are wrestling with each other. ] Mousse & Ranma: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ow!!! Voice: who dare disturbs The Sleep Of THE TURTLE GOD? Ranma: Turtle God? Cologne: [ slaps her forehead ] Not again. [ Commercial Break ] [ Opening Scene: A huge hulking brute of a man is beating up a little kid who is trying his best to fight back ] Cassios: Forget it, Seiya, you're no match for me! Seiya: Why you...! [ runs to punch Cassios only to be knocked back ten feet ] Cassios: HaHaHaHaHaHa! Pathetic. I really worked up a thirst, I'm going to go grab a brew. [ He leaves a bruised Seiya lying in the ground. Slowly Seiya pulls himself up. ] Seiya: I may not be a match for you now, but I'm drinking milk. [ From off screen he takes a glass of milk, takes a sip and grows an inch ] Milk is loaded with vitamins and calcium that help strengthen bones and increases muscles. [ Continues to grow ] If I keep drinking milk and keep exercising, I'll get stronger, faster and bigger every day. [ Seiya finally becomes the Suicide Saint that we all know and love] And then I'll wipe that smirking grin off your face and win that Pegasus Cloth to go to the Galaxia Wars! [ shrinks back to a little kid and takes a deep drink of milk ] So just you wait, you'll be sorry! Announcer: Milk - it does the body good. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- + For those of you who are wondering, Akane semi-seriously hurt her fist the first time when fighting the Dojo Yaburi -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [ Opening Scene: An overhead view of our "heros". In front of them lies the fragments the fragments of the egg. Admid the smoke, some enormous reptillian beast looms within the smoky remains. The beast lets out a puff of smoke and turns his attention to the small figures gathered in his presence. ] TurtleGod: I HAVE BEEN ASLEEP FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS ONLY TO BE AWAKENED BY THIS PACK OF LOWLY INSECTS?! Ranma: Hey, now just a minute..! Akane: Uh excuse me, Mr. Turtle God, But I thought you were only alseep for about a century... TurtleGod: SILENCE!!!!! [ His deafenning roar knocks everyone across the room ] Ranma: D..Damn... Shampoo: Ranma, please try to act respectful. He *is* a god. Mousse: [ nearly passing out ] Uh, 100 year old morning breath... Uh... TurtleGod: NEVER HAVE I SEEN SUCH BAD MANNERS! YOU IGNORANT WHELPS DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE COURTESY TO ADDRESS ME PROPERLY. Ryouga: Why that...! No one talks to Akane-san like that.. No one! [ Ryouga steps up in a challenging posture, only to be knocked over by Genma who rushes forward ] Genma: [ Falling to his knees ] Please forgive us! Please forgive us! We're sorry! We're sorry! Don't eat us! Don't eat us!... [ continues to blubber ] TurtleGod: . . . SOMEONE REMOVE THIS PATHETIC PEASANT FROM MY PRESENCE. [ Cologne jumps on top of Genma's head knocking him into the ground, (not much of a distance considering his head keeps touching the ground), and steps up to the Turtle God. She approaches slowly and preforms a complex bow ] Cologne: Oh great Turtle God, hear my cry The one born of a turle eons ago, Mingled with Dragon Blood, Raised in power beyond all your foes I approach you to hear my words, Mighty Kame-Kami Akane: Kame-Kami?.. Turtle-God?... Kame-Kami: YOU KNOW MY CUSTOMS AND MY NAME, MORTAL. [ taking a closer look at Cologne ] A MOMENT... YOU SEEM FAMILAR TO ME. Cologne: Your majesty [ bows again ] On your last manifistation on the Middle Country, I was one of the company which made the pilgramage to your most holy palace. Kame-Kami: YES, I RECALL SUCH AN INCIDENT IN MY RECENT PAST. AND I SEE YOU MUST ALSO BE ONE OF THE FEW THAT I ALLOWED TO RETURN. Cologne: [ Focus on her as her face darkens ] Yes.. Kame-Kami: STATE THE NATURE OF YOUR VISIT AND WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO DISTURB MY DOMAIN. Shampoo: [ prodding Cologne ] Great Grandmother, this is it... Quickly now! Cologne: Yes.. [ remembering where she is ] Our Purpose Is... Akane: Fire! Kame-Kami: FIRE? [ Breathes some flames from his mouth ] Cologne: No, not fire. We seek the path of perfection, to achieve the pure form of manhood...Fire? Akane: That room, it's on fire! And it's spreading! [ All stare at the room from which Genma emerged from. It is indeed in flames and smoke is rising from it ] Ranma: Quick! We have to get some water! Ryouga: Where?! Mousse: I think I see some over there! [ Everyone runs around aimlessly for a few minutes ] Kame-Kami: ENOUGH! [ He lifts one of his paws/hands. Immediately a stormcloud appears overhead and drenches the area with rainwaters. The fires are extinguished. Amid the smoke, the Turtle God puffs a grunt of approval. Next he points one of his fingers and the Great Book of the Cursed levitates towards him ] I HAVE NOT SEEN SUCH A DISRUPTIVE DISPLAY IN OVER THREE MILLEMIUMS. YOU FOOLISH HUMANS DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE AND NATURE OF THIS MOST HOLY BOOK... [ The Book hovers in place and turns it's pages on it's own ] WHAT? THE BOOK HAS BEEN DESECRATED! THE NATURAL ORDER OF LIFE HAS BEEN UPSET WHO DARED TO DO SUCH A... [ The Turtle God glances at his wet and freezing visitors only to find out that some of them has turned into a duck, a pig and a Panda. ] Ranma-chan: Cough..Cough... Mouse: Quack.. Quack.. P-chan: Squeal...squeal... Panda: [ sign ] Gasp! Kame-Kami: WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?! Cologne: Uh, we can explain great... Ranma-chan: Oh no! Akane! P-chan: SQUEAL!!! SQUEAL!!! Shampoo: Not to worry, Ranma. [ A smiling Shampoo is holding an extended bamboo unbrella (specifically Ryouga's) and is standing over an unconscious Akane ] Ranma-chan: Akane! You didn't have to knock her out! Shampoo: But I thought I was doing you a favor. [ to herself ] Besides, Akane was asking for it. Ranma-chan: Yeah.. but... [ glaring at P-chan ] Kame-Kami: SILENCE, MORTALS! YOU HAVE ALL SPOKEN ENOUGH. [ turning towards Cologne ] I ASSUMED THAT ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF CONTEMPLATING YOUR GOOD FORTUNE OF SURVIVING AN ENCOUNTER WITH A GOD WOULD HAVE ENLIGHTENED YOU. IT APPEARS THAT I WAS IN ERROR. Ranma-chan: What? The big green honcho actually admits he could be wrong?! Shampoo: Ranma, don't make him mad... Kame-Kami: YOU THERE! INSOLENT GIRL, WHO ARE YOU? [ long silence as Ranma-chan and the Turtle God stare at each other ] Cologne: He means you, son. Ranma-chan: [ looking at his/her chest ] Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting. Kame-Kami: SON? Ranma-chan: I am Saotome Ranma. And for the record, I'm a MAN! Kame-kami: I HAVE NOT SEEN SUCH A IMPUDENT DISPLAY IN THE HEAVENLY PLANE SINCE THE...THE.... MAN?... [ takes a second look at Ranma-chan ] MANHOOD?... [ looks towards Cologne ] SAOTOME?... [ stares at the entry in the Book ] ANIMALS... [ takes a look at everyone ] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I UNDERSTAND NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. (etc) Ranma-chan: I think we're trouble. Kame-Kami: [ Looking directly at Genma ] MASTERFULLY PLAYED, OLD FRIEND. YOU COULDN'T RESIST DOING IT AGAIN. Ranma-chan: Nn? Panda: [ sign ] ??? Kame-Kami: I SEE YOU'VE GATHERED YOUR OLD ELEMENTAL ALLIES. WHY, EVEN THE BODSHIVA IS HERE. I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU, YOU'VE GAINED SOME WEIGHT AND YOUR HAIR IS FINALLY GRAYING. THE CENTURIES HAVE NOT BEEN KIND TO YOU. Ranma-chan: Dad, do you know this guy? Panda: [ sign] I've never met him before! Kame-Kami: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, BUT THIS TIME YOU WILL BE GIVEN NO LENIENCY! Panda: [sign] I'm just a cute Panda! Kame-Kami: PANDA?! YOU'RE TRYING TO PASS YOURSELF OFF AS A PANDA THIS TIME?! VERY WELL, IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE YOUR CHARADE, SO BE IT... PANDA-KING. Cologne: Panda-King?! Ranma-chan: Dad, was this one of the aliases you were using when you were still on the run? Panda: [sign] I'm innocent! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- End of Part II Ranma 1/2 FanFiction The Ledgend of the Panda-King by Karl "The Krimlin" Rim krim@cbnewst.att.com Part III: A gathering of companions! The Four Musketeers! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [ Opening Scene: In the Palace of Heaven, the Turtle-God, Kame-Kami, has been awakened and angered by our adventurers. Despite the pleadings of Cologne, the Turtle-God demands retribution, especially on the Panda to whom he refers to as an old acquaintance if not friend. ] Kame-Kami: VERY WELL, IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE YOUR CHARADE, SO BE IT... PANDA-KING. Panda: [ sign ] Who me? Kame-Kami: I SEE THAT ONCE WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU. IF YOU MUST PERSIST IN REPEATING YOUR OFFENSES THEN MAY YOU BE DOOMED TO REPEAT YOUR HISTORY, FOOL. Cologne: Your emminence, I implore you... Kame-Kami: DO NOT SPEAK UNTIL YOUR ARE SPOKEN TO. THE BUSINESS WITH THE PANDA-KING HAS BEEN DECIDED, IT IS NO LONGER YOUR CONCERN. Cologne: But my concern is also for you, great Kame-Kami. For taking such a rash action, will not God be unsettled from the ease in which you allowed the temple to be disrupted? [ Moments pass as Cologne and the Turtle-God face off at each other ] Kame-Kami: TAKE CARE, BODHISATTVA. REMEMBER TO WHOM YOU ADDRESS. YOU MAY HAVE GROWN MUCH IN SPIRIT AND ENLIGHTMENT, BUT YOUR MIGHT IS STILL LESS THAN THE LEAST OF THE GUARDIANS. Cologne: Yes, thank you for reminding me, I almost forgot to whom I was addressing, one of the least of the guardians gods... Kame-Kami: . . . PERHAPS I SHOULD HAVE YOU DISCIPLINED AS WELL, IT SEEMS THAT YOU TOO HAVE NOT LEARNED FROM THE PAST. [ The Turtle-God points to Cologne with one of his claws. Cologne starts screaming in pain as she is immediately inveloped in a purle light that swallows her up into nothiness ] Shampoo: Great Grandmother! Cologne: Shampoo.... Remember the Legend..... [ disappears ] Ranma-chan: Hey, there may have been times that I just wished the old hag would just disappear, but not like this! I'm warning you, bring her back! Shampoo: Ranma, you'll fight for Great Grandmother? Kame-Kami: DO NOT FRET, LITTLE MORTAL. YOU WILL SOON BE JOINING HER. Ranma-chan: Well.. umm.., it's not exactly like we were really close or anything... [ At the temple gates, the remaining stone guards stand at their posts, vigilante, unwavering, silent sentinels against all intruders. ] Stone Guard1: ... Stone Guard2: ... Guard1: So, interesting night, huh? Guard2: You were the one who was complaining that it was getting too boring for the past century. Guard1: Well I've seen enough excitement. Guard1: So, do you think it was really him? Guard2: Perhaps... I sensed great power tonight... Guard1: What... Look at that! [ Nearby in an alcove containing four marble statues, one of the statues on display starts to shimmer. Slowly it animates into life. First slowly, then more fluidly the statue starts walking toward the gates ] Guard2: It's actually coming to life! Guard1: Amazing! A living statue! Statue: Coming from you two that's hardly remarkable. Guards: Wow! It can talk! Statue: I am more than a mere statue! [ the marble statue slowly morphs into flesh, a tall white bearded man in long blue robes stands by ] Guard1: What! It's just a mortal! Guard2: He tricked us! Man: I am Power! [ He raises his right hand and the two stone guards crumble into rubble. Finished, the old man glides through the main doors. ] Pile1: This is the pits... Piel2: Yeah, this is even worst than what happened to us during the last invasion of the temple. [ Back at the Temple ] Kame-Kami: YOUR INSOLENCE BEGINS TO TRY MY PATIENCE, MORTAL MAIDEN. Ranma-chan: Hey, I have a name you know! Kame=Kami: YES, SAOTOME RANMA. YOUR'S WAS THE NAME ERASED FROM THE BOOK OF LIFE AND DEATH. JUST WHAT IS YOUR CONNECTION TO THE PANDA KING? Ranma-chan: Him? He's my pop. Kame-Kami: ARE YOU TO SAY THAT THE BEAST SIRED YOU?! Ranma-chan: Yeah, I'm his son. Kame-Kami: SON?! BULDGING BUDDHAS! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THIS FREAK OF NATURE ACTUALLY BREEDED?! NO WONDER HIS "SON" IS A GIRL. WHAT TRADGETY, NOW THERE IS ANOTHER GENERATION OF MISFITS TO POLLUTE THE UNIVERSE. Ranma-chan: Hey, don't get any weird ideas! I just change into a girl when.. Kame-Kami: AH, I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY. I SEE YOU INHERITED THE PANDA-KING'S SHIFTING ABILITIES, AS WELL AS HIS CAPRICIOUS DISPOSITION. A HERMAPHRODITE IS THE LOGICAL OUTCOME. HE JUST COULD NOT DECIDE ON A SON OR A DAUGHTER, SO HE CHOSE BOTH. Ranma-chan: No, wait, you've got it all wrong, I'm under a curse.. Kame-Kami: YES, ALL YOU MORTALS ARE UNDER THE CURSE OF FRAIL HUMANITY. UNTIL THE DAY YOU MASTER THE EIGHT-FOLD PATH AND RISE TO THE PERFECTION BECOMING A BUDDHA AND OBTAINING IMMORTALITY, YOUR NAMES WILL CONTINUE TO DWELL IN THE BOOK OF LIFE AND DEATH, THE BOOK OF THE CURSED. Panda: [ sign ] So that explains it. Kame-Kami: ENOUGH OF YOUR TWISTED WORDS, PANDA-KING. DESPITE YOUR INTERFERENCE, WHAT IS DONE TO THE BOOK IS IRREVERSABLE. BUT ACHIEVING SUCH AN HONOR MUST STILL BE EARNED. IF NOT BY LONG STUDY AND MEDITATION, THEN BY SWEAT AND TEARS. MY DECISION IS MADE, BOTH FATHER, SON, AND YOUR TRUSTED COMPANIONS MUST RUN THE GAUNTLET TO PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS FOR IMMORTALITY. PREPARE FOR YOUR TRIALS. Shampoo: Immortality? Ranma-chan: Hey, wait! I just wanted a cure for... Shampoo: Ranma! [ Scene fades to white ] [ Elsewhere, the three strangers from the NekoHanTen, Cologne's restaurant, are speaking with an old gardener working in the field ] Companion1: Which way do you think they went? Companion2: Maybe that old man over there saw them. Stranger: You there, peasant! I would speak words with you. [ The old gardener calmly weeds his patch ] Stranger: Peasant! I am speaking to you! Acknowledge me! [ The old gardener continues to weed his patch ] Stranger: Old man! I have no time for this! Answer my question or be subjected to the wrath of my terrible fury! [ The old gardener continues to work much to the anger of the Stranger. In anger the Stranger lifts one of his arms and sends out a blast of energy which decimates half the field. The old gardener slowly gets up and turns towards the strangers. He looks them up and down, carefully measuring them. Finally he focuses on the leader. ] Stranger: Are you ready to answer now? Very Old Gardener: What? Could you speak up? I can't hear a thing you're saying. [ Puts his hand to his ear ] Stranger: ... [ The stranger is speechless as his two underlings face-fault ] [ Back at the temple, Shampoo is alone with an unconscious Akane ] Shampoo: Ranma... everyone.. they're all gone.. What did you do to them?! Kame-Kami: I CASTED THEM OUT OF HEAVEN TO RETURN TO THE EARTH. [ Elsewhere We see Ranma-chan, Ryouga, Mousse Genma falling in some airless space. They seemed to be somewhere in the... ] Ranma: Sky?! How did we get up here? Ryouga: Who cares how we get here, how are we going to get out of this in one piece?! Mousse: We're back into men! Ranma: It must be that overgrown turtle's doing. Genma: Who cares what form we're in, we're going to die anyway! [ All start screaming their heads off. As they fall, an image of the Turtle-god appears about them. ] Kame-Kami: I HAVE CAST YOU OUT OF THE HEAVENS BACK TO EARTH WHERE YOU BELONG. I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, OLD FRIEND, YOU USED TO RIDE THE CLOUDS AS YOUR PERSONAL CHARIOT. A PITY IT APPEARS YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO. Genma: I'm telling you, you've got the wrong man! Kame-Kami: IF THIS IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THE EXODUS. FAREWELL. [ He starts laughing as his image slowly fades away ] Genma: We're going to die! Ryouga: Akane-san! Mousse: So tragic to die without even experiencing my first kiss! Ranma-chan: Every-one listen to me! Mousse: Shampoo, I love you! Panda: [sign] I don't wanna die!! Ranma-chan: I SAID LISTEN!!! This can't be real, the heavenly temple was on the ground. It's got to some kind of illusion, we're not really falling! If we concentrate together maybe we can break this illusion! [ Everyone closes their eyes in concentration and lock hands in intricate poses ] Everyone: Ah-ummmmmm...... [ The blue sky deforms, yielding into the friendly color of earth ] Ranma-chan: It's working! Ulp...! [ He suddenly realizes the earth is quickly rushing up to them. Ranma, Ryouga, Mousse and the Genma all crash down, one on top of another ] Ryouga: Ow.... Genma: My back...! Mousse: I can't see! I can't see! Ryouga: Calm down, you just dropped your glasses. Ranma: Is everyone all right? Everyone else: NO! [ Everyone starts to plummet Ranma. A little while later, a battered Ranma stands up ] Ranma: Fu, that wasn't so bad. Voice: Son, look out!! Ranma: Eh? [ looks up and his eyes buldge to five times their original size, a huge shadow eclipses the group ] WAAAA!!!! [ The crew scambles for cover as a mountain range falls on top of them. A little while later, after the dust settles, we see that Ranma and crew are slightly battered but still alive. Unfortunately all are trapped under the mountain. ] Ranma: What else can happen now? Panda: [sign] It's raining. Ranma-chan: Sigh. [ Although smaller in size, neither Mousse or Ryouga has managed to free themselves ] Ranma-chan: How long are we going to be stuck under this damn mountain anyway?! Voice: About 100 years. Ranma-chan: Huh?! You! [ We see what appears to be a disembodied image of Cologne approaching ] Panda: [sign] AH! Ghost! Ranma-chan: Calm down, she's too ugly to be a ghost. Cologne: I'm glad to see you haven't lost your spirit, son. Because before you're going to need all your wits to survive this ordeal. Panda: [sign] Gulp. [ Commercial BreaK ] [ Priss is performing one of her concerts to an exuberant crowd ] PRISS: Thank you! Thank you! Crowd: Encore! Encore! Priss: Well.... [ Explosions rock near by as Linna in the crowd signals at Priss ] I'd love to but other concerns call! [ Priss leaves to a very disappointed crowd ] Crowd: Boo! Boo!! BOO!!! Announcer: Are you an avid Priss fan? Can't get enough of her performances? Tired of her much too short concerts? Well then what you're after is the Priss, Greatest Hits series, the complete collection of your favorite Retrothrash vocolist. The first volume in the series has Priss's first hits, such as: Konya wa Hurricane Remember Mr. Dandy After you receiver your first CD, you'll get a new CD from the collection every month. The CD is yours to review for 30 days. If for any reason you are dissastified, you can return the CD and owe nothing. But we think you'll want to keep such new age classics. Here's what some Priss fans say about the collecition: Leon: I love it! When I close my eyes and listen it almost sounds as if she's right in front of me, singing just for *me*. [ smiles lecherously ] Fanboy: This offer is great! I love the music, Priss never sounded better! I can't wait a whole month! I want everything NOW! In fact if you order now, the first 100 customers will receive a free never before released recording of Priss singing a duet with the the hot american pop singer Vision, in: Hurricane Live 2034: Tinsel City. This special promotional CD is not available anywhere else and can NOT be bought in any store. This CD is yours to keep regardless if you decided to keep your order. Phone now, before it's too late. VISA and Bloody Card(tm) accepted. Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery. [ End Commercial ] [ Back at the mountain ] Ranma-chan: Old woman, what do you mean?! Cologne: Keep your questions short, I don't have much time. Kame-Kami will only allow me to aid you up to three more times. Ranma: Three more times? Cologne: We're all just playing roles. Me, you, your father... Ranma-chan: I don't understand any of this. Just who is this turtle-toad anyway? What does my father have to do with him? And... Cologne: Enough with your questions. I better start at the beginning. I believe your father is suffering from a case of mistaken identity. Panda: [sigh] That's it! I told you I was innocent. Cologne: However your father foolishly followed a similar path taken by an old trouble maker many centuries ago. Ranma-chan: So that's it. Cologne: This trickster was.. *is* a being shrouded in mystery. It is known tha he was a disruptive wild animal-lord who had dreams of grandeur. For a challenge he invaded the heavens, the palace of the gods. He caused a mass disruption and ran amuk in heaven. He even dared to defile the most sacred of texts, the Book of Life: the Cursed. Ranma-chan: A cursed life? Cologne: Every one is considered to live under a yoke of cursed existence, a life of spiritual and mental starvation. The curse is broken through difficult training and meditation, when one manages to rise up to the level of a Buddha. But he disrupted this procedure by erasing his name from the Book of Life on a whim. This resulted in him becoming immortal, outside the realm of life, death and reincarnation as we know it. Ranma-chan: Erasing his name did all that? Cologne: There was also something about him eating some holy peaches or swalling an entire bottle of immortality pills. Ranma-chan: Holy peaches? Pills? Uh, yeah... Cologne: That's how the ledgend goes. Ranma-chan: But what's this Kame-kami's beef with my dad? Cologne: Kame-Kami, one of the eight guardian gods, was in charge of the palace while God was away. When God returned to see his beloved home descrated, in anger he threw the invader back to earth and trapped him with under a mountain for nearly a centurty. Kame-Kami lost much face that day. Ranma-chan: A CENTURY?! Cologne: In any case the gods were furious at the animal king's act of insolence. But by the ancient laws, governing the rule of heaven, they had to accept his sudden rise in divine status. But they decided that he must still earn his place, and forced him on a holy quest. If he returned successful, he would have earned the right to rise up from a lowly animal to a full human immortal. [ At those words, everyone listens carefully as their eyes glisten ] Ranma-chan: Fully human? Panda: [sign] A total man?! Cologne: You, son, must go on that very same quest. For you and your father represent that foolish animal-king. Oddly enough, that rascal also had two companions, a pig and some sort of water creature, I can't remember exactly what, the ledgend is very old. P-chan: Mousse: Quack? Ranma-chan: And just what role do you fill? Cologne: I represent the BodShiva, the holy Buddha woman who has reached the next stage of enlightment. Ranma: You? What qualifies you to fill that role. Cologne: I've been alive over a century, son, and one learns great wisdom when they have stared into the eyes of a god and returned to tell of it. Panda: [sign] She does have a point. Ranma-chan: And just what was this quest? Cologne: You must begin a journey filled with all sorts of perils and dangers. On this pilgramage, you are to protect a holy man who is travelling to unknown lands of the west to recover a set of holy scriptures. Ranma-chan: And who is this holy man? Cologne: I have no idea who he might be. Tradition have depicted him as a young lord or highly disciplined monk. Ranma-chan: What makes him so special? Cologne: He is the one that will free you from your captivity. Ranma-chan: And when is that going to be? Cologne: I told you, 100 years. Ranma-chan: Oh yeah... are you sure about that? Cologne: Fear not, I am forced to play the role as your divine helper. I have been given certain authority to perform my role but at the same time I am under certain restrictions. By travelling to the past I hope to find the one who will free you in a short while. Ranma-chan: How do you figure that?! Cologne: Never underestimate the power of time travel. Ranma-chan: Time travel? Cologne: I must go now to find your rescuer. Be brave, I shall return relatively soon. [ Her image slowly fades ] Ranma-chan: Ha! Easy for her to say, my back is killing me! Hey, Ryouga! Let's try to blow our way out. P-chan: --*! [ A small explosion erupts burying the foursome just gets buried further in mountain rubble ] *[Translation] "Exploding-Point-Technique"! [ At the Temple of the Heavens ] Shampoo: What do you plan to do with us? Kame-Kami: YOU ARE FREE TO LEAVE WITH YOUR COMPANION. Shampoo: That's all? You make our friends disappear into thin air, and you're just letting us go? Kame-Kami: HOW ELSE WILL MY FEARSOME NAME BE CARRIED ACROSS THE LAND IF THERE ARE NO SURVIVORS? Akane: [waking ] Ranma.... Shampoo: There's nothing I can do. Ranma is gone. Great Grandmother is gone. Akane: What's going on? Where's Ranma? Shampoo: They're... gone. We must leave. There is nothing left for us here. Voice: Don't cry, my dear. It's a shame to see such a lovely girl in such distress. [ Everyone turns to see the owner of the voice. An deathly old man with long white hair and beard dressed in night blue robes glides across the floor. ] Old Man: I hope you two will stay. Pretty young girls always liven up this dreary place. Kame-Kami: WHO ARE YOU? HOW DID YOU GET PASS THE GUARDS? Old Man: Come on, old friend. I'll be hurt if you don't recognize me. Kame-Kami: ....YOU?! [ At the mountain ] Ranma-chan: It's been two days already. My body aches all over and I'm hungry. If I don't move soon I'm going to go crazy! Panda: [sign] And I have to use the bathroom!! Ranma-chan: We've got to get out of here! In mercy's name, someone help us!! [ In a great crack, the mountain starts moving back ] Voice: In the name of the Bodshiva and the power of all that is holy by the authority of the gods, I command you, mountain, release your charges into my care! Panda: [sign] We're saved! Ranma-chan: Has it been a century already? [ As Ranma and the animals scramble to their feet, they head towards their rescuer. ] Ranma-chan: Hey, pal, thanks a lot for the..help? [ Their rescuer turns out to be a young boy, about thirteen or fourteen ] Panda: [sign] Must be a monk-in-training. Ranma-chan: How can you tell? Panda: [sign] Bald head. [ Everyone starts laughing because the young boy has a REALLY short haircut and does kind of look stupid. The hair style does not suit him very well. ] Boy: Stop it! Stop it! You dare not laugh at the one instrusted with this most holy of missions by the merciful Bodshiva! How dare you laugh at.. Kunou Takewaki! Ranma-chan: Ha h...WHAT?! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- End of Part III Confused? Good that makes half of us. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Karl "Krimlin" Rim Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are my own, krim@cbnewst.att.com on my own time, and with my own mistakes