From: Uncle Fester Nabiki - New Horizons Part 2 - Wedding Bell Blues By Uncle Fester As Jeff carried Nabiki down the stairs of Furinkan Senior High School, a growing crowd of celebrating students followed noisily. "Is this enough of an exit for you?" Jeff said over the din of the crowd. Nabiki just smiled and snuggled a bit more, comfortable in Jeff's strong arms. To others, she had been a cold, calculating ice queen; good for a few expensive laughs until the guy's money ran out. Then, she was off to new conquests. Jeff had been patient and persistent. She had responded to him; but only when forced to choose. At the bottom of the stairs, one of Jeff's earlier antagonists still slumped against the wall clutching his bokkan in front of him. Two of Jeff's throwing stars still adorned the bokkan's smooth surface. Ranma bent over the student and examined the throwing stars carefully. "You're very lucky, you know." he said with mock seriousness. "Ninjas usually aim for the head." With that, the student's eyes rolled back up into his head as he passed out. "Hmmm. No sense of humor." Ranma muttered as he pulled the stars from the unconscious student's bokkan. Turning each over and back in his hand, he looked for identifying marks. There was only one, a word in English that said: 'Gotcha!'. These were *not* from a ninja clan. In fact, he examined them closer and concluded they were homemade. Not to suggest they were crude by any standards, their craftsmanship reflected a thorough knowledge of shuriken construction. For someone to be able to build and use such devices with the amount of skill displayed here today, suggested there was more at work here than anyone knew. Suspiciously, he jiggled the stars in his hand for a few moments while watching Jeff and Nabiki lead the crowd out of Furinkan High. He had never thought Jeff capable of much when it came to fighting, having seen him in action at the Tendo Dojo, but his suspicions were raised. There was more here than meets the eye. Pocketing the stars, Ranma joined the trailing crowd. Jeff and Nabiki slowly made their way to the main gate. Waiting for them was a real limousine, its passenger door open, the driver standing by. "Jeff-chan, you shouldn't have spent the money for this car." Nabiki protested when she saw the limousine. "Things are going to be tight enough until you can start a job." Jeff was about to answer when two Marine Corps humvees with four Marines dressed in full camouflage pulled up along side the limo. "Yo, bro." called one of the Marines Jeff recognized from the embassy. "What the heck are you doing here." Jeff was a bit indignant at their presence. "I thought I told you I could handle this on my own." "We're not here to help with the extraction." another guard said leaning on the hood of his vehicle. "We're just gonna see you don't get lost. After all, we're duty bound to protect our country's rich and influential." Nabiki's English vocabulary was limited to certain business related words. "Rich... influential?" Nabiki looked questionably at Jeff. These words she completely understood. "Haven't you told her yet?" the first guard asked in mock surprise. "She really ought to know." "Jeff-chan, I don't fully understand what this military person is saying, but I've got a feeling there is something you should be telling me." Nabiki said . Jeff shot the Marines a warning look. It must have worked as both made faces and ducked back into their vehicle. "Nabiki, dear, I think you will need to sit down for this." Jeff said as he set Nabiki on the back seat of the limo. As she scooted over, Jeff slid in next to her and the driver closed the door. Akane and Ranma, after finally working their way to the front of the crowd, looked at each other in confusion. "What's going on in there?" Ranma asked out loud pointing to the black limo. "How should I know?" Akane replied as she tried to see through the car's tinted glass. "What are you two doing?" one of the Marine guards asked in stilted Japanese. "That's my sister in there." Akane answered pointing to the back seat of the limo. "One of the Tendo girls, heh. Well, you better get in with us and we'll drive you home with the lucky couple." Akane scurried over to the humvee leaving Ranma looking like an abandoned puppy. "What about the Chinese guy?" the guard asked. "Huh? Oh, Ranma." "Is he a Tendo too?" "Well, sort of..." "Sort of what?" "We're sort of...you see...I mean..." Akane was having trouble explaining the unexplainable. "I live with the Tendo's." Ranma calmly said. The Marine did a double take between Akane and Ranma, shrugged his shoulders and waived the two of them to his vehicle. The two teens settled into opposite seats in the back of the humvee. All parties concerned were thankful for the high transmission hump between them. Meanwhile, in the back of the limo, Jeff was explaining fiscal reality to Nabiki. I was a VERY interesting, but short conversation. "Well?" Nabiki eyed Jeff critically, her arms crossed. Jeff took a deep breath before proceeding. "You want examples or just a round total?" "Just give me the bottom line." her eyes narrowed into their characteristic slits. When it came to money, she was no nonsense. "Roughly?" "Whatever!" Jeff reached into his pants pocket and handed Nabiki the accounting overview he received this morning. "Give or take." he noted. Nabiki couldn't read most of the English written on the paper, but understood fully the numbers. When she got to the bottom line, her eyes grew wide, she blinked twice then passed out, slumping against Jeff's shoulder. "I think she handled *that* well." Jeff said with a little smile. "Home James" he joked in English before directing the driver in Japanese to the Tendo residence. The arrival at the Tendo residence was just short of a parade. A large black Mercedes limousine followed by two Marine humvees drew a growing crowd curious onlookers. The limo stopped in front of the main gate, the humvees right behind but out of sight of the residence. "I wonder who that could be." Kasumi said as she looked out a nearby window. When doing housework, little could distract her enough to interrupt her normal routine. The sounds out front drew her like a moth to a flame. With a damp plate in hand, she opened the front door and strained to see why such a magnificent vehicle had stopped at the entrance to the humble Tendo compound. The limo driver walked briskly around to the rear door and opened it formally. Jeff Lawrence was the first to emerge followed quickly by Nabiki Tendo. Kasumi gasped and dropped the dish. "Father! Father, come quickly!" she yelled, clutching the towel to her chest as she scurried through the house. "It's Nabiki and she's with...Jeff!" Clearly, the assumption around the Tendo household was that they had seen the last of Nabiki's would-be suitor. Mr. Tendo hurried into the main room with Mr. Saotome. Both came to an abrupt halt on the engawa, their mouths open, upon seeing Jeff with Nabiki round the corner of the house. "Soun Tendo," Jeff addressed Nabiki's father formally with a polite bow. "I have returned with your daughter. I wish to discuss with you the terms you require for her hand in marriage." Nabiki bowed with her proclaimed fianc­, clearly enjoying the formality of the situation. Usually, she detested such traditions, thinking them relics of a useless past, but most of the neighborhood was now watching. That made all the difference. The sight of four battle dressed US Marines taking positions to guard the gate was more than enough to keep the curious outside. It was evident the Marines were determined that nothing was going to interrupt their 'little brother's' big moment. Kasumi sighed contentedly and scurried off to prepare some tea for the ceremony. Ranma and Akane pushed their way through the crowd; both irritated at all the commotion. Ranma acted unimpressed but Akane was clearly starry eyed. In her mind, she saw, first her sister, then herself, in a beautiful white wedding dress standing in a magnificent cathedral surrounded by all her friends who were dividing their time between fussing over her dress and whispering enviously about her looks. she thought as she hurried inside. Mr. Tendo, eyes already watering, simply nodded and indicated two cushions at the table. Mr. Saotome beamed like a successful matchmaker. In spite of the fact he had nothing to do with this pair, he believed their engagement would provide incentive for his reluctant son to follow through with Akane. Heaven knows, the boy needed incentive. Several minutes later, Jeff and Nabiki sat stiffly across the table from Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome. Akane and Ranma assumed their positions with their backs to the garden. Kasumi brought sufficient tea cups to the table and began pouring the hot water for tea. "Mr. Tendo," Jeff began, using his most formal voice. "A few weeks ago, I left this house in disgrace. Since then, much in my life has changed. Accordingly, I have formally asked your daughter, in front of witnesses, to marry me." Jeff glanced at a still wistfully looking Akane and a bored looking Ranma. "I have come to ask you for your blessing in marriage to your middle daughter, Nabiki." Mr. Tendo, tears now streaming down his cheeks, looked at Nabiki. "Is this true, daughter?" he said formally. "Hai, father." she responded with a respectful bow. "What of your previous objections?" he asked. Nabiki looked briefly at Kasumi's smiling face, grateful for her older sister's support. "I am wiser now, father. I would marry Jeff-chan, with your permission." She knew full well that her father's blessing was guaranteed but went through with the formality anyway. "Besides, he's rich." "WHAT!?!" All present gasped loud enough to be heard by the crowd outside. "You put us through all that trauma over marrying a poor Jeff Lawrence and he turns out to be rich?" Akane was clearly peeved but she didn't know just who at, Jeff or Nabiki. "How rich?" Ranma asked, a skeptical look on his face. "Rich enough for me." Nabiki chirped, cuddling Jeff's arm. Somewhat taken aback by his daughters revelation, not to mention her public show of affection, Mr. Tendo abruptly stopped crying. "He's...I mean...you mean he's..." His eyes glazed over. If Nabiki was satisfied, Jeff must be loaded! Only Mr. Saotome's strong arm prevented him from pitching forward onto the table. "So, Nab-chan, when do you two wish to be married?" Kasumi asked sweetly while pouring more hot water into tea filled cups. "Well..." Nabiki started looking apprehensively at Jeff. "We haven't really discussed that part." "If I may suggest." Jeff began. "I propose to be married in Hawaii next month. The whole room gasped as if Jeff had suggested something unseemly. Mr. Tendo was the first to tackle the subject. "Are you suggesting that this ancestral family home, a home in which my late wife and I were married, a home in which my three daughters were born, is unsuitable for a wedding?" "Not at all, sir." Jeff, realizing his blunder, was clearly trying to defuse a sensitive subject. "I am proposing to fly all of you, and your selected guests, to Hawaii where Nabiki and I will be married in a little Japanese-American church on top of a hill overlooking the central plains of Oahu." Jeff paused before revealing the last of his reasons. "Besides, If I don't get married on American soil, I don't get the full inheritance." After a long pause, Mr. Saotome slipped in a question. "Are you saying that we all would be flown, free, to Hawaii for this wedding?" "Certainly." "All expenses paid?" "Of course." "And you get the money if you marry in Hawaii?" "That's about the size of it." "I'm for it." Mr. Saotome sat back satisfied that he had arranged a free trip to Hawaii. The fact he would be, eventually, related to all that money heavily colored his decision. "And accommodations?" Mr. Tendo was still unsure of all this. "Will be provided as well." Jeff assured everyone. There was a great deal of glancing at each other. "Did I mention the beach luau bachelor party?" The two fathers just grinned at each other. Nabiki was, however, not amused. "You remember what I first called you?" she said quietly to Jeff. "Incredibly wise gaijin?" "Nope" "Loving Jeff-chan?" "Uh-uh." "Toady worm?" "Bingo." "Hey, a guy is supposed to have a party the night before his wedding. You want me to break a tradition?" Jeff looked shocked. "There better not be any women at this little 'tradition' of yours." she said with crossed arms and a warning look. "You want this wedding to happen or not?" Nabiki just increased the severity of her look. "I have to get the fathers to go along with this." Jeff hissed. "Cut me some slack here." Nabiki turned to look at the fathers who were excitedly talking among themselves. "Okay, It's a deal." Mr. Tendo said with a smile. "Hawaii it is." Then turning to Kasumi: "Do you think Mrs. Suzuki would be willing to watch the place while we are gone?" "I'm sure she would be happy to as her wedding gift to Nabiki." Kasumi said sweetly. "She always liked Nabiki." Nabiki looked at Jeff, made a face and shuddered. She didn't really get on with old people. An overly affectionate and elderly Mrs. Suzuki was one she made special care to avoid. The rest of the discussion surrounded preparations for securing the residence, talks about dresses and tuxedos, and what everyone was going to see in Hawaii. "I think the whole thing is so romantic." Akane finally sighed, with visions of Nabiki, dressed in white, standing in a grove of palm trees to get married. "Seems to me a long way to go to get hitched." Ranma said. Before Akane could react, Mr. Saotome interceded. "Boy, you need a lesson in courtship." With that, he grasped his son's tunic and tossed him across the yard and into the pond. The Marine guards heard the commotion and, fearing that Jeff had been thrown out on his head, quickly converged on the pond. They abruptly came up short as a buxom red-headed female emerged dripping wet. Four jaws hit the ground at the same time. "What are *you* looking at?" Ranma yelled at the four gaping Marines. One Marine nudged another and said: "See, I told you these Tendo chicks are hot." Ranma, oblivious to the fact her top was now plastered to her ample charms, glared at her audience. "Butt out, jarheads. I'm a guy, okay?" The Marines reaction was predictable. It was a beautiful Hawaiian morning at the Honolulu Zoo where a special ceremony was taking place. "It is with a great deal of pride I welcome the representatives from the Peoples Republic of China and their traveling Panda exhibit." the American Vice-President said. Standing next to him on the platform was the Chinese Minister of Pandas, his eight assistants, an interpreter, four people with weird sounding zoological degrees (or something reasonably academic), six secret service agents, and two guys with oversized pooper scoopers. Understandably, it was crowded. The Minister of Pandas whispered something to his interpreter. Turning to the American Veep, the interpreter asked: "The minister wants to know how your country is willing to contribute to the welfare of our wild pandas?" Doing his best wooden Indian imitation, the modern politician quickly weighed the political cost of every possible answer, factored in the latest CNN/ABC polling data, considered the first lady's desires and reached his conclusion. "We are prepared to dedicate whatever it takes to depopulate those areas required to protect the endangered panda species. Mankind is the greatest enemy of nature so we are willing to declare war on mankind to protect every conceivable species on earth, even those whose existence we don't know about yet. America is solidly behind all endangered species, whatever it takes." The American Veep said, almost showing some emotion. The translator wrinkled his nose at the thought of depopulating one quarter of China for a stupid bear and changed the translation slightly: "The American Vice President agrees that they should help and has pledged next year's entire tax receipts to that end." The Chinese Minister of Panda's smiled, the American Vice President smiled, and the guys with pooper scoopers moved in to clean up. Somewhere nearby, two shadowy figures watched with great interest as the pandas were unloaded into a minimum security cage. "What do you think?" the tall, slender one asked in a husky voice. "Piece of cake." he replied. "We steal truck, sneak in after dark, disable guards, and steal the pandas." "And then?" "What else? We demand an exorbitant ransom fee." In a palatial residence in an upscale section of Beverly Hills, California, Montgomery Phillips, spoiled nephew of the late Ronald and Ruth Phillips, was putting on an ash tray and lamp throwing exhibition. "I knew those @#&%*@ people would leave all their *@$#&#@ money to the stinking weasel Jeffrey." he screamed. "I'm better qualified than...!" His fit was interrupted by the butler announcing the arrival of his personal lawyer. As the attorney came into the room, Monty launched his attack: "I want my late uncle's money. Is there any way to fight that damn will?" "I'm afraid not, sir." the attorney replied, slightly shaken by Monty's verbal assault. "According to my sources, it would appear to be iron clad." Physical assault was another matter, he ducked a poorly thrown ash tray. "Why do I pay you vultures when you can't even get a simple thing like a will contested?" Monty flopped down in an overstuffed chair, exasperated. "If I may, sir?" the lawyer continued. "There is no direct way to contest the will. However, there appears to be a small ambiguity in what would happen should Mr. Jeffery Lawrence be... incapacitated." "Go on, you interest me." Monty was calm now. He always became calm while hatching a plan. "Well, to put it bluntly, if Jeffrey Lawrence were to meet with an... 'accident', the usual result would be to resort to another heir." The slimy lawyer rubbed his hands together thinking of the large 'bonus' he would receive should this scheme work. "An accident, huh?" Monty leaned back, deep in thought. "Now, *that* has possibilities." Three weeks later, back at the Tendo residence, Kasumi was briefing Mrs. Suzuki on all the details about their trip, making sure she had all the telephone numbers necessary. "I think it's wonderful that little Nabiki is getting married." the old woman croaked. "Wouldn't it be wonderful if it could be a double or even a triple wedding?" She smiled a toothless smile. Kasumi returned the smile sadly and nodded almost self consciously. "I'm afraid Akane is closer to being wed than I." She added. "Ah yes, little Akane." the old woman nodded, and tried to remember what the little girl looked like. "Isn't she promised in marriage to some strange Chinese boy?" "No, Suzuki-sempi," Kasumi sighed. "Ranma Saotome is Japanese." "And a damned strange one." the old lady finished. "Well, you got me there." Kasumi muttered to herself. "You have everything you need should there be any trouble." Kasumi said more reassuring herself than the old lady. "Don't worry, I'm sure little Akane's wedding will be fine." "Nabiki." "Nabiki? Where is that little scamp?" "It's Nabiki's wedding, Mrs Suzuki" "Nabiki? Is she getting married too?" Kasumi just sighed, handed the keys to the old lady and went to pack. Kasumi thought as she climbed the stairs. Back in California, Monty Phillips finished planning the demise of his cousin as he finished his dinner. It was perfect. It was simple. And most of all, it would preserve his deniability. He chuckled cruelly and placed a single phone call. The next day, both families found themselves on a large American airliner heading for Honolulu. The fathers quietly played an electronic version of Go on the vacant seat between them. Neither really liked the device very much, it made it impossible to cheat. Still, it was going to be a long flight and there are just so many magazines and movies one could look at. The girls, on the other hand, were finding it much easier to adjust to the confining spaces of a 747. "What are you going to do first?" Akane asked her oldest sister. Kasumi was enjoying a cool soft drink and watching the in-flight movie. The last few days had been the longest time she had ever gone without cooking, cleaning, or doing the laundry. She was savoring every moment. Like a patient mother, she removed her earphones and smiled at her little sister. "Oh, maybe spend a day at the beach." she sighed with a smile. "Or do some shopping." The two girls were interrupted by Ranma-chan's tapping Akane on the shoulder. "This better be important, pervert." Akane responded, clearly irritated. "It is!" she hissed. "We've got to talk...privately." Akane looked around and gave Ranma a confused look. "Where? We're on an airplane. There's no 'private' anywhere here." "Yes there is. Follow me." She grabbed Akane's arm and towed her quickly down the isle. Near the galley, Ranma-chan made a quick turn into a vacant bathroom. Dragging a protesting Akane in behind her, Ranma-chan slammed shut the door and turned, almost nose to nose, to face a growling fiance. "This better be good." Akane warned, trying to get as far away from Ranma as possible. It was closer than a Tokyo subway during rush hour. "Why do I have to travel as a girl?" Ranma-chan hissed. Akane tried to cross her arms but failed due to Ranma-chan's protruding bust. "Because you got yourself drenched just before your picture was taken at the passport office. It's a good thing Nabiki was able to alter your birth certificate on the fly like that. It took every favor Nabiki had on her books to get us in as quickly as we did. Usually, we would have had to wait 6 to 8 weeks to get passports. So, as far as our government is concerned, *you* are a girl." She couldn't resist adding with a sarcastic smile: "Sweetie." Ranma-chan ignored the insult but squirmed uncomfortably nevertheless. "Well, I've never had to be a girl this long before." "So?" "I think I'm... having... 'that time of month'." Ranma-chan whined rubbing her legs together. "Huh?" "You know, the thing you get every month that makes you so crabby." "It does *not* make me crabby!" Akane yelled, suddenly understanding just what the little creep was talking about and becoming highly indignant at even having this discussion. "It sure does!" Ranma-chan yelled back, her voice echoing loudly in the confined space. The two glared at each other; which was just about all either could do in such a confining space. "Oh, all right. Anything to get out of this hot box." Akane quickly dug through her tiny hand bag until she found a small cardboard cylinder. Holding it up, she hissed: "Just put this in..." Ranma's eyes got huge. "In... *where*?!?" Akane just cocked her head and gave Ranma a look of exasperation. Realizing just what Akane was asking her to do, Ranma-chan reacted loudly. "HUH-UH! NO WAY!" A knock at the door drew their attention momentarily. Irritated, Akane yelled at the door using her best high school English: "One minute. We coming right out!" The old lady on the other side of the door blinked and thought: "Then you can wait until we get to the hotel. I'll fix you up then." she hissed in an exaggerated whisper, anxious to get out of this tight and increasingly hot phone booth sized toilet. "But what about...?" Ranma-chan started. "Here," Akane grabbed a hand full of paper towels and thrust them at a confused looking Ranma. "Stuff these in your drawers." With that, she unlocked the door and violently swung it open, knocking Ranma-chan back onto the toilet. A large gathered crowd, once Akane got out of the way, was treated to the sight of a red haired Japanese girl desperately trying to stuff a wad of paper towels down the front of her pants. Suddenly aware of her audience, she stopped, got a disgusted look on her face and yelled: "What?!?" The crowd quickly disbursed. Akane returned to her seat muttering about how she can't believe she's living with that jerk. "Is Ranma alright?" Kasumi asked sweetly. "I doubt that pervert was ever alright'" Akane lamented plopping down in her seat and securing her headphones on her head. Kasumi was about to return to the movie herself when she caught sight of Ranma-chan waddling down the isle, her pants overflowing with paper towels. she thought, slowly turning back to the movie. The mind boggles. The rest of the flight was fairly uneventful. The only other outburst came when a flight attendant spilled a cup of Sprite on the passenger next to Genma Saotome causing the older man to leap onto the back of his seat. Good thing too. Turning into a panda onboard an aircraft in front of 400 witnesses could be hard to explain. Wouldn't help his trip through customs either. Tatewaki Kuno arrived at the Tendo residence early Saturday morning. Seeing no one around, he walked through the front gate and up to the door as if he owned the place. he thought. Poking his head inside, he announced his arrival. There was no answer. An elderly lady emerged from the main room carrying an old broom. She had just finished sweeping the carpet. Kuno looked at her as if she were someone she had never seen before. Actually, he never had. "My apologies, Obasan." Kuno said with a formal bow. "I am here..." "I'm not you grandma, sonny." Mrs Suzuki warned, a harsh look coming over her face. "My humblest of apologies." Kuno said with another formal bow. "I was wondering..." "Ah, yes." Suzuki cut him off again. "You're here to mow the grass. About time too. Now the mower is out back..." "With all due respect," Kuno said stiffly. "I'm here to see Miss Nabiki Tendo about a matter of business." "Oh, well, she's not here." Mrs. Suzuki said with an irritated voice. "She and her family went to Hawaii for little Akane's wedding." Kuno's mouth open and closed several times, his eyes big and all color drained from his face. "Hey, that's pretty good." the old lady remarked with a grin. "My late husband used to be able to do that too. Course, he could make funny 'popping' noises when he did it. Can you make 'popping' noises too?" "AKANE TENDO!?? HAWAII?!? WEDDING??!!!" Kuno was almost in a state of apoplexy. "You don't have to shout, young man. I'm not deaf you know." She poked the twitching Kuno with the handle of her broom. Kuno was reduced to making strange gurgling sounds as his body vibrated. "My late husband used to be able to do that too. Well, he was best at it just before he died." she observed thoughtfully. "Sure you don't want that mowing job? I'll give you a whole 50 yen." Kuno stopped vibrating and let out a long, blood curdling scream that echoed throughout Nerima as he ran from the residence. "I guess that's a 'No'. What a strange young man." Mrs. Suzuki mumbled as she returned to the main room. "Made me miss the 'Brady Bunch' and everything." It was an especially dark night in Hawaii. So dark that no one observed a lone figure cutting the chain holding closed a back gate to the city zoo. That done, a small delivery truck slowly drove through the gate, past the sleeping guards (their condition aided by an earlier application of sleeping potion to their coffee) and down to the panda exhibit. Twenty minutes later, the truck, now loaded with two prized female Chinese Pandas, drove back out of the zoo and headed for the city center. No one would discover the theft until morning. By then, the crooks would have hidden both the truck and the pandas. It was a simple but brilliantly executed crime. The wedding party arrived in Hawaii just after sunrise and easily cleared customs. Ranma-chan, having shed her paper towels, actually behaved the whole time. Of course, Akane's threats on her life were probably responsible. Jeff and Nabiki were there to meet them, having taken an earlier flight to prepare for the family's arrival. After a short van ride through the city, they were at the hotel and quickly checked in. As it was a beautiful Hawaiian day, they decided to start their trip off with a visit to the beach. However, preparations didn't go off as smoothly as all had hoped for. The girls were having problems getting Ranma to wear a girls swim suit. "Why do I always have to wear a girls swimsuit?" Ranma moaned. "Because, stupid, if you get wet wearing a boy's swimsuit, we get arrested." Akane pointedly said. "This is America. They take a dim view of nude public swimming. By the way," she turned to the other girls in the room. "Why do *I* always have to provide the clothes for this pervert?" Kasumi just shook her head. "We've already been over this. He's your fiance and in his female form, you are the closest to his size." She handed Ranma-chan one of Akane's Speedos and, like a frustrated mother, directed her to the bathroom to change. "Besides, Akane, you never get in the water anyway. It really doesn't make any difference what you wear to the beach." Nabiki remarked while idly looking out the window. "Yeah? Well this time I'm gonna do some real swimming." Akane bristled at the suggestion of her lack of aquatic skills. The other two girls just looked at each other. It was going to be a long day for the lifeguards. At the Honolulu International Airport, two other wedding guests' were arriving. Tatewaki Kuno and his crazy sister Kodachi were just passing through customs. Kuno was forced to bring his sister along when she overheard him booking a flight to Hawaii. If her honey, Ranma, was going to marry anyone, it was going to be her. She would try to spare Akane for her stupid brother but if she got in the way, oh well. Customs went quickly until some of Kodachi's rhythmic gymnastics paraphernalia aroused suspicion. Her attempts at convincing the agent that they were legitimate sports equipment were spoiled when one of her clubs accidentally sprung open to reveal a series of sharp spines. All her equipment were quickly confiscated and the pair were detained for questioning. They would be released several hours later, but only after convincing the police that they were simple Japanese tourists who only feared for their safety. Meanwhile, back at the beach, the Genma and Soun, dressed in t-shirts and swimsuits, were demonstrating their skills at Tai Che while ogling the girls that happened by. Clearly, they were in their element; showing off their martial arts skills while surrounded by beautiful women wearing the least legally possible. Akane and Ranma-chan were debating what to do first. Akane wanted to try swimming and Ranma wanted to check out the beach food vendors. Kasumi settled under a large umbrella on a comfortable little beach chair to do some light reading. Being the polite girl she was, she smiled and nodded whenever someone even appeared to talk to her. This would have been fine except it kept attracting people who assumed she spoke English; some weirder than others. "Pardon me, your bodacious beautifulness," a rather seedy looking example of a blonde California beach bum said. "You mind if I, like, share your sun with you?" "Hai." Kasumi responded with an unsure smile. She didn't understand a word he was saying but he seemed nice enough. "Yeah, like 'hi' right back at ya," the blonde guy flopped down on Kasumi's towel, scattering sand over her book and personal things. Disgustedly, she swept the sand off as best she could. The smile was getting harder to maintain. "Me and T-bone (that's my buddy) just blew in from the coast looking for some gnarly waves and we're, like, gonna get some babes and, do you, you-know, like, have a friend? For T-bone, I mean." The blonde dude now had Kasumi totally lost. You could tell because her smile slowly melted into a really neat look of total confusion. Fortunately, Jeff and Nabiki chose that moment to arrive. "Who's your friend, Kasumi?" Nabiki chirped as she approached. "I have no idea. He just sat down and started talking." Kasumi said with a look of bewilderment. "English, I think." "Hey, babe!" the blonde beach dude said with a genuine 'Bill and Ted' expression as he turned to Nabiki. "You talk like the little oriental guy we got back home who cuts the grass around my parents house." "Well, he's certainly colorful." Jeff observed. "Probably, harmless." "Wow, dude. You, like, speak the lingo too. Way cool." "Kasumi, do you want me to tell him to go away?" Jeff asked quietly. Kasumi thought for a moment and replied: "Try not to be too harsh with him, Jeff-san. He seems like a nice person." "Look, fella. The little lady here just asked me to tell you she's not interested in whatever you're selling and to please go away." Jeff said as firmly as possible. The blonde dude, however, was not easily shooed away. In fact, he was beginning to feel a little bit put upon by the, obviously, smaller Jeff. Standing up, he assumed an aggressive stance. "Yeah? An what if I, like, don't think the babe really said that?" He advanced an intimidating step forward. "And what if, I think you're trying to steal my babe. I know Kung Fu, dude. So you better, like, beat it now." Jeff's face lost all its expression. He could tell the blonde was no fighter, his stance comically ridiculous. Still, the guy was clearly in an aggressive mood. Jeff glanced around to see if anyone was really watching. If trouble came, he would have to respond. He didn't like the situation at all. Nabiki, understanding Jeff's limits a little better now, could tell that her fiance was quickly closing in on doing something rash. Certain her intervention could prevent an ugly incident, she stepped between the two boys. It should be noted here that Nabiki was the champion of the Furinkan High School English Club. She was a straight 'A' student in English and had watched lots of American television shows and movies before they were dubbed into Japanese. In short, she was the best Japanese public schools had to offer. "Look, Bucko!" she started, reaching up to poke the blonde in the chest with her finger. "Sister say you no like go away now." Jeff thought fighting back a visible chuckle. But Nabiki was on a roll and still poking the blonde dude in the chest. The look on her face was of total commitment. she thought. "Jeff-san, do you think he understood me?" she asked Jeff a worried look on her face. "I'm not sure *I* understood you." Nabiki reset her jaw with a determined look and turned to the guy once more. It was time to play her trump card: "I call father you no go." *That* the guy got and started to leave, but not without a parting shot to Kasumi: "Hey, babe, me and T-bone are staying down at the Beachcomber. It's not much to look at but it's cheap. [snicker] If you, like, change your mind.." He never finished as Nabiki shouted loud enough to attract attention: "GO!". The blonde beat a hasty retreat. "Honestly, Oneechan." Nabiki said with a exasperated voice while dropping to her knees next to Kasumi's blanket. "You've got to stop trying to be nice to everyone you meet. It just encourages the weirdos." Kasumi just sighed and gave her 'hurt puppy dog' look. "But Nabiki, I was just being polite. You wouldn't want me to be impolite, would you?" Nabiki shot another look at the retreating blonde beach bum before responding: "I suppose not. Just be more careful who you talk to." Before Kasumi could agree, a commotion up where the fathers were drew everyone's attention, including the police. Jeff, Nabiki, Ranma, and Akane all reached the scene at the same time. Inside a ring of curious onlookers, Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo were about to be handcuffed by four large, serious looking Hawaiian police officers. "Aw, pop. What did you do this time?" Ranma-chan whined as she pushed her way through the crowd. "All I was doing, son, was showing Sensi Tendo the art of 'Limb Kai Projection' the elder Saotome protested. "The Limb Kai...you pervert!" Ranma yelled. "You were using your kai to sneak a grope. You dirty old man!" "Father!" Nabiki and Akane shouted in unison. Mr. Tendo just shrugged his shoulders and looked innocent. Nabiki quickly grabbed Jeff. "Do something!" "Do what?!? These are cops, not street thugs." "Talk to them. You're rich. Maybe they'll respect that." "You sure have a lot to learn about money, little lady." With implied threats in their looks, Akane and Nabiki spurred Jeff to action. "Excuse me, officers." he began as he approached the lawmen. "I'm the host for these two gentlemen while they're in this country. What seems to be the problem here?" "This young lady," the first officer said indicating the tall, leggy blonde with a figure you would die for (or at least pay extra). "Has made a complaint against these two for [reading from his notepad] illegally placing their hands on a part of her body without permission." "I see," Jeff stroked his chin and looked concerned. "Tell me miss. Just where were you when this happened?" The blonde, wearing the minimum legal covering, wiggled to about 20 feet away and stopped. "Right here." "Okay. Where were the Japanese gentlemen?" "Where they are now,... I guess." the blonde suddenly got an embarrassed look on her face. "But they could have been closer." Jeff just looked at the officers who were trading looks among themselves. "Twenty feet, gentlemen?" Jeff summarized. "Unless we're dealing with two men with extraordinary physical talents..." "Miss," the second officer turned to the blonde. "Is it possible you were grabbed by someone else in the crowd?" "Well," she squirmed slightly. "I guess so. But they were laughing." She pointed to the fathers and pouted. "They're Japanese." Jeff protested. "They're always laughing. Didn't you see Tora, Tora, Tora'?" "Ah, Tora, Tora, Tora" the two fathers repeated. "Shut up!" Nabiki jumped in. "What do ya think?" the first officer asked his partner. "Twenty feet away would be hard to prove in court and they *are* foreign tourists." "Okay, you two, we'll forget about it this time." the officers began to unhandcuff the fathers. "But try to behave yourselves while in Hawaii." When the officers had left and the families were alone, Akane vented on both fathers. "I can't believe you two. We leave you alone on the beach for ten minutes and you find a way to get into trouble." "But daughter..." Soun Tendo attempted to explain. "Not this time!" Akane yelled wagging her finger in her father's face. "You're just lucky Jeff was here. None of us speak good enough English to get you off so quickly. You could have spent Nabiki's wedding in jail." As the rest of the family turned away, the two fathers just looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Somewhere in the outskirts of Honolulu, two truck thieves were running for their lives. It seems the truck they stole, instead of material valuables in the back, contained two very annoyed and very dangerous panda bears ready to rearrange the thieves' body parts. The felons fled, the pandas wandered off in search of food, and the stage was set for the worst week the Honolulu Police had experienced since the bombing of Pearl Harbor. That evening the bride and groom's families met for the first time. It was, to say the least, an interesting meeting. Convening at a local country club, the families intermingled in a private dining room. Jeff's mom and the girls hit it off immediately. Nabiki, at first, was a little embarrassed, remembering her condition at the embassy reception for the Japanese Prime Minister. But, on the whole, the ladies seemed right at home together. The guys, on the other hand, were having a few problems. Soun kept telling Mr. Lawrence how proud he was to be the father-in-law of such a nice (and rich) young man as Jeff. Genma repeatedly asked how rich Mr. Lawrence was, figuring that if Jeff was rich, the father must be loaded. Ranma, totally embarrassed by his father's brown-nosing, was trying to rein in his dad with little success. Jeff just sat back and enjoyed watching his dad squirm. Jeff thought. To Mr. Lawrence's credit, he proved the consummate diplomat, easily deflecting Mr. Saotome's probes while gracefully acknowledging Mr. Tendo's blubbering compliments. Totally bored with the discussion and sensing a chance to slip out, Jeff quietly wandered over to where the ladies were talking to do a little eavesdropping. The discussion was, for Jeff's part, worse there. His mother had a list of embarrassing Jeff stories that would make an extortionist like Nabiki green with envy. Good thing she didn't talk to his mother when they first met, he would have been paying hush money to the middle Tendo daughter until his bank account squealed. Somehow, the discussion got around to the breaking news of the stolen pandas. Kasumi expressed some concern that the wild animals could be anywhere, even just outside. The others assured her the pandas were, probably, far away from populated areas only looking for food and a place to sleep. "Besides," Nabiki chirped. "Akane can protect us." She reached over and playfully squeezed Akane's biceps to show how strong she was. Akane shot her older sister a warning look. She may be a trained martial artist, but she was also a girl and didn't take too well to being treated otherwise. Jeff knew when to become scarce and beat a quiet retreat back to the men's group. Returning, he found Ranma and Mr. Saotome missing. Upon being told they went outside to checkout the country club's Japanese garden, Jeff figured he better tag along in case they got into trouble. Too late. Ranma, expecting his father to pull one of his famous "training is a 24 hour a day job" routines, was ready when his father attacked him in the garden. Yelling this was no place for such foolishness, Ranma bounced the elder Saotome off a palm tree and into a conveniently placed garden pool. The panda that came out, needless to say, was displeased. "What's the matter, pop?" Ranma chided. "Getting slow?" His answer came as the panda tried to exit the pond. Slipping on the algae covered bottom, Genma did a belly flop, splashing water everywhere, including on a startled Ranma. The transformation was both unfortunate and immediate. Immediate in that Ranma now looked like a drowned female Chinese street urchin. Unfortunate because the commotion attracted the attention of the snooty club manager. "What are *you* doing here?" the club manager demanded from the doorway to the main dining room. "This club is for members and their guests only." Ranma, scouring his mind for any useful phrase he could remember from the English classes he used to sleep through, tried the first thing that popped into his head: "Good Evening, Mister Brown." "Good evening my aunt's fanny, young lady." the manager started towards the garden. He only got three steps from the door when his eye caught on a dripping wet panda emerging from his garden pool. The man's eyes got huge and he stood for a few moments, his mouth working but nothing coming out. Unfortunately, Genma-panda decided to try and explain the situation. All he did was make threatening growling sounds that had the least desirable affect on the manager. Like a shot, the man retreated back into the dining room screaming like a Hawaiian Paul Revere: "The pandas are here! The pandas are here! Run for your lives!" Jeff was just coming through the dining room when he collided with a panic stricken club manager screaming something about killer pandas loose on the club grounds. Scrambling to his feet, Jeff bolted out the door to find the garden empty. The only clue that Ranma and Mr. Saotome had been there were a fresh set of wet panda tracks that led out onto the golf course. he thought as he quickly retreated back into the club to find the others. By now, the news about wild pandas rampaging outside the country club had swept through the clubhouse like a wildfire. Jeff's parents were concerned for the safety of their guests and kept trying to gather the girls together for their protection. The girls, however, understood exactly what was going on. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" Akane yelled at no one in particular. "I knew those two would do something like this!" Kasumi just wondered out loud if, maybe, they were really the escaped pandas. Nabiki grabbed Jeff and hauled him off to a quiet corner. "What the hell happened?" she demanded. "How should I know?" Jeff tried to protest. "Ranma and his dad went outside and the next thing I know, the club manager is screaming about wild pandas on the rampage." "We've got to find them!" she insisted. "Are you nuts?" Jeff argued. "It's dark out there. What if it really is the escaped pandas? Can you tell Mr. Saotome from a real panda?" "Well, I..." she started, suddenly unsure of the proper course of action. "What about Mr. Saotome?" Jeff's mother asked as she approached the pair. "Ah...he and...ah Ranma...ah" Jeff struggled. "Hai. They...ah..." Nabiki was no help. "Mr. Saotome wasn't feeling well and...ah...he and Ranma took a cab back to the hotel." Jeff lied. All the while he heard a voice screaming in his head: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and you could fool some of the people all of the time, but you CAN'T FOOL MOM.' Obviously, the voice was right. Mrs. Lawrence gave Jeff a look that told him he better come clean, or else. Jeff swallowed hard. Fate saved his bacon that night as his father scurried up and suggested they get their guests to safety. Still giving Jeff a look of warning, mom agreed and ushered Nabiki out to the waiting van. "What was that all about, son?" Jeff's dad asked. "Dad, You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Meanwhile, out on the golf course, Ranma-chan and a large panda were running for cover. Amazing how little 'cover' there is on a golf course when you're not hitting a golf ball. By the sand trap on the tenth hole, the two had lost sight of each other as Ranma veered off the course and Genma continued straight down the 11th fairway. Stumbling through some bushes, Ranma-chan emerged in the back yard of an exclusive residential neighborhood. "Okay, Ranma," Ranma-chan muttered to herself as she walked towards the street. "All I gotta do is figure out how to get back to the country club without being seen. If I can just sneak back to the van, I can hide behind the seats." Apparently, one of the houses had a motion sensor light system as the entire back yard suddenly became light as day. Ranma-chan's thoughts at that point were unprintable but understandable. On instinct, she bolted for a nearby yard that was dark and surrounded by a 6 foot high privacy fence. Clearing the fence in a single bound, Ranma-chan quickly discovered why the fence was there. Waiting for her to land were three large German Shepards; each vying for the first bite. Using a technique learned long ago, Ranma-chan literally bounced from dog head to dog head; never harming the dogs but escaping every attempt to bite. As she cleared the fence on the far side of the yard, having never touched the ground once, three dogs simultaneously collided with the fence. The resulting crash, combined with the sounds of three dogs going berserk in their frustration, attracted enough attention to bring just about every homeowner outside. Ranma-chan rolled to a stop against a wooden swing set, tearing most of her top open. As the backyard lights came on, she spied a small pup tent nearby and ducked in. Imagine the surprise of two 10 year old boys when they were suddenly awakened in the middle of the night by a semi-topless red head girl diving in on them. They yelled. Ranma-chan yelled. The homeowner from his back porch yelled and Ranma-chan was hit from three different directions with the beams of three flashlights. "Cool!" the first kid yelled. Both kids eyes were feasting on the results of a good Jusenkyou dunking. Ranma-chan suddenly realized her 'exposed' position and yelled: "Hentai!!" before pulling shut her torn shirt and bolting for the next yard. "Hen what?" the first kid asked his tent mate. "Beats me. Maybe she was looking for chickens?" his friend replied. "Can I spend tomorrow night here? Maybe, she'll come back." "Cool! I'll bring my camera." Further up the street, Genma was experiencing his own problems. He too, decided to try through the bushes that lined the golf course and struck paydirt on his first attempt. There, in an unfenced yard, was a bubbling pool of salvation; an unused hot tub. The back yard was totally dark, only the underwater lights of the tub provided a guide. he thought as he waddled on two legs towards the tub. It might have worked too, except just as he reached the small deck where the hot tub sat, a light went on and naked woman came giggling out of the house. "I'll wait for you in the tub, honey." she called back into the house as she scampered towards the tub. Two thirds the way there, she collided with something large and furry. Bouncing off, she froze in place, her eyes wide and mouth agape. Genma, being within three feet of a very attractive and very naked woman had a completely different reaction. Seconds seemed like hours as the woman saw her life pass before her eyes. Genma saw something entirely different. he thought as he quickly toured her body. His mistake came when he tried to grin. Unfortunately, on a panda, a grin looks more like a snarl. That did it. The woman screamed louder than an air raid siren and frantically scrambled for safety of her house. Genma, on the other hand, did a quick triple take between the hysterical woman and the hot tub. No time. [Pardon me!] his sign read as he turned and beat a four footed retreat back the way he came. By now, every light in the neighborhood was on. Dogs were barking, people were yelling, and the lady was still screaming. All things considered, the golf course was looking pretty good right now. Ranma-chan had just escaped the backyard lights as he ducked around a small storage shed, over a chain link fence and into some thick bushes (tearing more of her clothes in the process). In the bushes, she ran smack into something warm, furry and familiar. "Oh, pop." she gasped as she patted the sitting panda on its leg. "Good thing I found you. We gotta get out of here." The panda just sat there an stared. "What's the matter with you?" she yelled. "We can't let them catch us like this. Come on." She grabbed the panda's front paw and tugged it towards the golf course. The panda, having had enough of the conversation, smacked Ranma-chan up the side of her head, rolling her clear of the bushes. "Still mad, huh." she growled. "I can still take you, no matter what form you're in." With that, began one of the strangest fights Ranma had ever been in. Repeatedly, she struck the panda and just as repeatedly, she was cuffed about. Her father's 'new technique' was something she had never seen before. she thought as she dodged a furious series of blows. Two more dodges and Ranma-chan delivered a knockout blow. Gasping for breath and hearing police cars approaching, she suddenly realized what she had done. She could escape but her father would have to be left behind. she thought as she sprinted across the golf course. The police, backed by anxious zookeepers armed with tranquilizer guns, swarmed the neighborhood. They quickly found the unconscious panda and, in minutes, had it bound for transport back to the zoo. A shout from further up the street attracted their attention to a second panda running on two legs towards their position. "Damndist thing I've ever seen." one police officer said. "I didn't know pandas ran on two legs." "Don't matter," a zookeeper said as he raised his tranquilizer gun. "We better drop him before he causes any more mischief." Genma came to a screeching halt ten feet from the police and armed zookeeper. Looking back over his shoulder, he could see more police coming from behind. He was trapped and he knew it. There was only one thing left to do. "Hoooooly...," one officer said to his partner. "He looks like he's trying to surrender." "Naw," the zookeeper replied as he fired his gun. "Bears do that just before they attack." Genma, his front paws still raised, was struck in the rear leg with the first dart. He felt the sting of the needle and tried to waddle away from his attackers. A second dart struck squarely in his rump and the world began to get fuzzy. The giant panda seemed to wobble for a moment before collapsing on the soft grass of the 10th fairway. Genma thought as he passed out. Kuno was in a bad mood when he reached the hotel. It was late, he had spent the entire day trying to convince the authorities that he and his crazy sister weren't international terrorists, just scared tourists, when they discovered Kodachi's lethal assortment of rhythmic gymnastics equipment. They even confiscated her bundle of black roses. she thought. Kuno, for his part, was only interested in a hot bath and a soft bed. At the front desk, he stared intently at a clerk who was sorting mail and doing his best to ignore the odd couple. "If you don't mind..." Kuno said in his most commanding voice. "My sister and I would like two of your finest rooms and be quick about it." He smugly folded his arms and looked every inch the samurai he believed himself to be. Unfortunately, the desk clerk didn't understand a word of Japanese and just stared at Kuno like he was crazy. Actually, the desk clerk was close; it was his sister that was crazy. He was just demented. "Just a minute." the clerk said in English as he disappeared into a back room. "Brother, you obviously don't command the respect you deserve in this establishment." Kodachi said fingering the only 'weapon' she was able to salvage from the airport authorities, her ribbon. "Perhaps, I should try." "Fear not, my sweet but brain damaged sibling." Kuno crowed turning to face his sister. "For I, Tatewaki Kuno, known throughout our native land as Blue Thunder, shall deal with these common innkeepers and, rest assured, they will rue the day they crossed me." Kuno was smugly confident. He wouldn't have felt so smug if he saw what emerged from the back room. The night manager was large enough to play defensive tackle for the San Francisco 49ers. Heck, he could have played the entire line. "May I be of assistance," he said in perfect Japanese. "Of course, you..." Kuno hesitated when he turned back to the desk and got a look at who (or what) he was talking to. "I... I... would like a room... or two...please." Kodachi just rolled her eyes. "Well, we're quite full right now." the manager said looking through his reservation book. "Do you have a reservation, sir?" "I, Tatewaki Kuno, needn't bother with such things." Kuno said resuming his arrogant posture. "There is always room at the inn for a Kuno. The penthouse suite, perhaps." "I'm afraid all the suites are booked, sir." the manager silently chuckled. "Perhaps a room for two." "A common room?" Kuno said shocked at the suggestion. "Well sir, that's all we have left." "I don't believe this." Kodachi moaned. "Is this your wife?" the manager asked Kuno. "My sister!" "My condolences." Small puffs of smoke shot out of Kuno's ears as he attempted to form in his mind an appropriate riposte. Fortunately, his sister, who wanted to get a room before morning, intervened. "We'll take whatever you have, thank you." She said with a syrupy voice. "Very well, miss." the manager finished registering the odd couple and handed both keys to their room. "One room, two beds. Enjoy your stay." Kuno snatched his key from the manager and turned to glare at the poor bell boy who was struggling with the mountain of Kuno luggage. Somehow, the kid got the feeling he wasn't going to get much of a tip tonight. Kodachi demurely accepted her key and apologized for her brother. "He's a little stressed tonight. You see, we came all this way to stop a wedding." The manager was about to say something but decided he didn't need the trouble. Instead, he just smiled and pointed to the elevators. "See brother, if you're nice to people, you can get anything you want." Kodachi chided as she led the procession to the elevators. Kuno wasn't listening. He was too busy herding the poor bell boy and growling about having to share a room with the Black Rose of Insanity. The Kunos weren't in the elevator two minutes when the Tendos and Jeff returned. Akane quickly scampered up to the front desk and carefully asked if either Ranma Saotome or a shorter red haired girl come in. The night manager, having a soft spot for damsels in distress, quickly checked with the rest of the staff. No one had seen either but, he personally assured her, they would keep a look out for both. Disappointed but grateful for the manager's help, Akane joined her family and Jeff in the elevator. While everyone else talked excitedly about the evening, Akane was quietly lost in her own thoughts. Only Kasumi noticed, but then she had a way of doing that. Instead of going directly to her own room, Akane followed Kasumi into hers. "Oh, Akane." Kasumi said in a slightly startled voice. "I didn't see you there. Is there something wrong?" Akane quietly closed the door and strolled into her older sister's room. Kasumi calmly sat on the end of her bed. She could tell Akane wanted to talk about something but was reluctant to start. "It was a lovely evening with Jeff's parents, wasn't it?" she started. "Hai, oneechan." Akane said looking out the window. "I really liked his mother. He's very lucky to have a mother like her." Kasumi agreed and quietly waited for Akane to get to her point. "I wonder what happened to Ranma." Akane said almost in passing. "I... I hope he's all right." Kasumi smiled to herself. She, alone, knew just how much the two really felt about each other. She just attributed their bickering to the fact they were still, really, children. In time, she reasoned, they would realize how much they really cared for each other. Maybe, Akane was already starting to take that step. "I'm sure he's all right, Akane." she said in a motherly way. "He's a big boy and can take care of himself." "I know." Akane sighed as she turned to face her sister. "It's just he doesn't speak enough of the language to even ask where a toilet is. If I didn't let him copy off my test papers in English class, he would have failed for sure." Kasumi just looked at a worried Akane for several seconds. "There are many people in Hawaii that speak Japanese. He's sure to find one sooner or later and they'll direct him back to the hotel." "Oneechan," Akane started. "When he first disappeared, I was angry. All I could think of was how he was screwing up our trip to Hawaii. Then, on the way back here, I began to think just what my life would be without him. What if he never came back." Akane paused and swallowed hard. "I guess, I really do care about him." "I always thought so," Kasumi said matter-of-factly. Akane stared at her older sister for a few moments. Once again, Kasumi seemed to know more about their relationship than even Akane. While that should have unnerved her, it somehow was comforting to know that she always had someone to go to. Someone who could help her navigate her relationship with Ranma. Nabiki was right, Kasumi *was* the best combination of mother, older sister, and best friend. With a modest chuckle, Akane said: "Just don't let him know." "Not a word." The sisters hugged and Akane quietly returned to her own room. Kasumi just sighed and thought: "If only my own life were that easy to solve." Meanwhile, down the hall, Nabiki and Jeff were working out a few things of their own. As she unlocked the door to her room, Jeff's arms surrounded her slim waist. "And just what do you think you're doing?" she asked with mock sternness. "Well...I just thought that since we'll be married in a few days anyway..." Jeff muttered in her ear. He gently nuzzled the nape of her neck. Nabiki struggled with her own feelings. The invitation *was* appealing, heck, she'd dreamed about just such a situation many times over the last year. But now was neither the time nor the place. Too much going on and too many family members close by. Besides, as she once told him, she had her reputation to protect. Carefully, Nabiki reached down, took hold of his thumbs and easily pealed herself free. Turning to face her fianc­, she gave him a seriously hard look. "I have only three words for you: After The Wedding." It must have been the determined look she gave him because with a sigh, Jeff just nodded, shrugged his shoulders and turned to leave. "Just a minute, buster." she said with a touch of menace in her voice. "Come back here." Jeff meekly did as he was told. To his surprise, Nabiki took him into a passionate embrace and kissed him deeply right there in the hall. Moments later, she broke the kiss, stepped into the room and, with only her head showing, bid him good night. "Cold shower?" he asked with a smile. "Cold shower." she replied before closing the door. "Well, It could be worse." He muttered walking down the hall towards the elevators. "Cold water could activate a really rotten curse like Ranma's." Ranma, he had almost forgotten about the poor fellow. he thought as he pushed the elevator button. A tall maid, pushing a housekeeping cart, slowly passed behind him as he got onto the elevator. As the doors closed, he heard two loud 'thumps' on the door. Thinking it was someone trying to catch the elevator, he quickly punched the 'Door Open' button but was too late. The elevator had already started its decent. he thought. What Jeff didn't see were two daggers, still quivering, imbedded in the elevator door and the 'maid' snapping her fingers in disgust at missing such an easy target. Somewhere, on the streets of down town Honolulu, a lone figure slipped quietly from shadow to shadow. Every time a car passed, the figure melted back into the shadows and held her breath. Ranma-chan anxiously thought to herself. She had just cleared the pool of light caused by a down town gas station, when a roving squad car hit Ranma-chan with its spotlight. Caught in the powerful beam, she froze. "What do ya think?" the senior officer asked his partner. "It's a girl, I think. She sure doesn't look like she belongs here this time of night." "Yup, I guess we better check her out." his partner suggested. With flashing lights, the Honolulu Police car pulled over to the curb and one of the officers got out. Holding his flashlight on Ranma-chan, he asked: "Would you come over here for a moment, please. Ranma-chan fought a wave of panic. She was alone, with no passport or other identification, wearing torn and dirty clothes and couldn't understand a word the police officer was saying to her. A quick glance told her there was an alley just 50 feet away. It was decision time; deal with the police or make a break for it. She'd heard stories back in Japan of what police in other countries were like. It was an experience to be missed. Besides, didn't they try to arrest her father and Sensi Tendo this morning? Only the intervention of Jeff saved them from a jail cell and Jeff was certainly not available here and now. Fearing what would happen to her in the hands of the American police at night, the choice was obvious; she made a break for it. Bolting towards alley, she heard the officer shout and the squad car's squealing tires as it began its pursuit. She easily gained the alley and turned quickly into its welcoming darkness. Passing dumpsters and trash, Ranma-chan ran with increasing fear. She could hear the pursuing foot officer's steps echoing off the buildings and the revving engine of the squad car not far behind. She could feel the pounding of her heart matching the rapid sounds of her own feet as she lightly dashed down the alley. The combined lights of the pursuing car and the officer's flashlight showed an escape route. Ahead lay a delivery truck blocking the alley. Next to it was a parked car. With an agility only a trained martial artist could possess, Ranma-chan ran up the hood of the car, jumped onto the top of the delivery truck and then onto the roof of the nearest building. She could hear the police officer trying to duplicate her feat with little success. His cries of pain as he landed short of the truck spurred her across the roof. "Damn!" the foot officer yelled as he punched the hood of the car he had just slipped off of. "Call it in, Fred. We've got a runner." The officer in the squad car put in the radio call while slamming the vehicle into reverse. With tires squealing, the squad car shot back out into the street. While his partner worked his way carefully around the parked truck, the police officer in the car sped off down the street and rounded the next corner. Sirens of other patrol cars could be heard off in the distance. Ranma-chan ran with fluid ease across the flat roof tops until she rounded a brick structure on the last one. There she collided with two other bodies. The three collapsed in a heap. "What the..." one of the bodies yelled. "It's a girl!" the other shouted. "Yeah. Hey babe, what's your hurry." the first said to Ranma-chan as he grabbed her wrist. These were two burglars interrupted in their trade by the appearance of a strange, and partially clad, red haired Asian girl. "You know, Red, I think we can forget the break-in. This little sweetie is gonna provide us with a little 'entertainment', aren't you honey?" the second said with a greasy grin. "You don't mind doin it on a roof top, do ya?" the red haired burglar said licking his dirty lips as he slowly reeled in his intended prey. Ranma-chan quickly roped in her fear and took stock of the situation. Two would-be burglars, one tall and dark haired, the other about her size and with the same bright red hair, unarmed and looking for more than either could handle. This was not going to be their lucky night. By now the first patrol car had reached the end of the buildings and was shining its searchlight on the edge of the roof looking for any movement. The officer didn't have long to wait. Almost immediately, a body came flying over the edge and landed with a loud 'ooooof' on the hood of his car. With a groan, the red headed burglar rolled off the hood and onto the ground directly in front of the car's headlights. The other burglar was currently an ugly indentation in the brickwork on the roof. "Did you get her?" the first officer gasped as he rounded the other corner of the building. "Yup. Old Red here musta fallen off the roof in his attempt to get away." the second officer said as he knelt down to examine the red headed crook. "Funny, I thought we were chasing a female." "Male, female, what's the difference? We got him. That's all that counts." his partner said as he pulled out his radio. Ranma-chan, still gasping for breath, made a clean getaway back across the roof, down the truck and out of the alley. All things considered, she had been lucky so far. Ducking into the gas station, she avoided the clerk and slipped quietly into the women's restroom. she thought as she locked the door. Looking across the bathroom, she saw it. she reveled in the thought of returning to normal once again. Turning both taps on high she waited for the warm liquid that would reverse her despicable curse. Disappointment slowly engulfed her as neither tap would run hot. With tired disgust, she snapped the taps shut and slapped the cold porcelain surface with her open hands. Her head dropped to her chest in resignation. She was condemned to spend another night as a girl. Dropping to the filthy floor and huddling under the sink, Ranma-chan listened carefully for any sign of activity outside. There was none. She was still listening when exhaustion overtook her. she thought before noting bitterly With her head on raised up knees, Ranma-chan spent her first night in Hawaii on the dirty restroom floor of a downtown gas station. Meanwhile, in a veterinary office of the Honolulu Zoo, two veterinarians were checking over the recaptured pandas. The first panda, a female, was quickly certified as healthy and sent back to its compound. The other, a rather portly looking male, lay dozing on the office's small examining table. "Hey!" the first vet said as he examined the panda. "I thought both pandas were female. This one is distinctly male." He held the animal's rear legs apart to show his partner. "Hmmm. You're right." the other vet said examining the panda carefully. "Obviously, not much of a lover." The two snickered. It was at this point that Genma began to wake up. While still groggy and unable to understand what the voices he heard were saying, he was certain of two things: This wasn't the hotel and someone was examining areas of him that were better off left unexamined. He tried to move but found himself firmly restrained by thick nylon straps. "I see he's waking up. Good, good." the first vet said releasing Genma's rear legs. "I think we can put him in the compound now with the other panda." Then added: "I think they'll make a lovely couple." As Genma was being wheeled out to the panda compound, he kept thinking: The next day dawned as beautiful a day as Hawaii could provide. And why not. Today was the day of the wedding rehearsal for Nabiki and Jeff's wedding. As the group gathered at the little church, much was said about the disappearance of the Saotomes. Akane was visibly upset over not knowing the whereabouts of her fiance, Ranma. "I'm sure they're all right. I've notified the police and they've assured me they will be on the lookout for both of them." Jeff tried to reassure the Tendos. "If either shows up, they promised they would call me immediately." "Jeff" Nabiki said flatly. "We can't have a proper rehearsal without Ranma. He's the best man." "We'll just have to make due for now and fill him in later when he shows up." "If he shows up." Akane injected. She was obviously taking all this a lot harder than the rest. She looked terrible from the lack of sleep. All night long, she would call down to the main desk asking if there had been any word yet. She hadn't slept more than a few minutes all night. Kasumi kept reassuring her that all would turn out okay but Akane was clearly fearing the worst. Under most normal conditions, she was certain that Ranma could take care of himself. But this was America and Americans carried guns. All night long she was haunted by scenes she had seen of crime in America, of dead and dying victims of people with guns. She feared he lay dead or dying in some dark corner of the city, only to be found many days from now. It was shortly before noon before the minister, Reverend Hasakawa, could get everyone in their places. All went about as well as could be expected with the best man missing, the maid of honor distracted, and the bride-to-be growling at everyone over their inattention. More than once, sharp words were exchanged between the two younger daughters. Kasumi, who was standing in for their departed mother, had to keep stepping between them to keep the peace. By the time the rehearsal was over, all parties concerned were convinced the wedding would be a disaster. In any case, Nabiki badly needed a walk to calm down. "Sensi Tendo, why don't you and the girls take the limo back to the hotel." Jeff suggested. "Nabiki and I need to take a little walk alone." "I...I think I would rather stay here awhile." Akane said softly casting glances at Reverend Hasakawa. It was obvious to everyone that she was in need of a little comforting from a higher source or at least someone outside the family to talk to. Kasumi agreed to stay with her sister and would wait for the limo's return. Gleefully, Soun Tendo bounced into the back seat of the limousine, reveling in the luxury he had all to his self. Jeff gave instructions to the driver and sent the limo on its way. It hadn't gone very far when Jeff noticed a large puddle left behind as the car pulled away. Kneeling down, he examined the puddle closely. It looked like...brake fluid. With alarm, his head shot up and turned towards the route the limo had just taken. Then he heard the impact. Somewhere, just around the first bend, the limousine had crashed into the trees. Jeff and the others ran quickly to the crash site, fearing the worst. To everyone's relief, it wasn't as bad as it sounded. The car's front bumper and left front quarter panel were certainly damaged but otherwise all was well. The driver was out of the car examining the damage when Jeff reached him. "Are you all right?" he asked looking around for Mr. Tendo. "No problem." the driver replied. "Gonna be in the shop for a while, though." Concerned for her father's safety, Nabiki yanked open the rear door and looked in. There, in a heap on the floor, was Soun Tendo; a smashed cigar in one hand and what was left of a bottle of white wine in the other. "Does this mean the ride's over?" he asked in a dazed voice. "Yes, daddy. The ride's over." Nabiki said flatly. She helped her father get out of the car, but not before he grabbed a handful of cigars from the humidor and an unbroken bottle of wine from the bar. He may not have gotten his exclusive limousine ride but he wasn't leaving empty handed. Just down the hill, slightly around the second turn, a greasy figure slapped his head in disgust. Another failure. Disposing of this 'Jeff' fellow was turning out to be harder than it looked. Hopping on his motorcycle, the man thought: The man's poor timing caused him to pull out in front of a large delivery truck. With squealing tires, the man and his motorcycle broke through the wooden guard rail and over the embankment. Only the sounds of breaking trees and cries of pain marked the would-be assassin's passing as he tumbled his way down the mountain. After arranging for transportation for the rest of the family, Jeff and Nabiki walked quietly through the trees to a little clearing with a beautiful view of the ocean. "I'm sorry, Jeff." Nabiki said. For the second time in her life, she was apologizing to her fianc­. "I guess I just have a crazy family." "Look, I understand. Akane's just worried about Ranma." Jeff observed. "It's only natural. After all, they *are* engaged." Nabiki smiled and looked embarrassed. "It's not your typical engagement. They were promised to each other by their fathers." "Yeah, I think Ranma mentioned something about that." Jeff said rubbing his chin. "Kinda rough on both of them." "It's just... they're so young. They haven't had a chance to mature before having all this responsibility pushed on them." Nabiki leaned against a palm tree her arms and legs crossed. The wind whipped her skirt and blew hair across her face. "We're not much older." Nabiki smiled slightly. "You're an only child and, well, you know what I've been through. That kinda ages you." Jeff took her hands and pulled her to him. Resting her head on his shoulder, she drew comfort from his embrace. It felt so safe, so comfortable, so right. "You ever wonder just what we are doing here?" she asked her mind drifting. "I thought we were getting married." Jeff replied, a touch of humor in his voice. "I mean besides that." she looked up at him, a quizzical look on her face. "Since coming to Hawaii, I've had the oddest feeling that I'm here for something else as well. Something...I can't explain." "Quite so, little one," came a familiar voice. Two sets of eyes snapped to the source and beheld a small white haired Japanese man dressed in a traditional yukata leaning on a shakujo staff, its six rings of enlightenment shining in the sunlight. His small, bushy mustache seemed to attempt flight as he smiled. "M...Master Sato," Jeff stammered. "How...?" "That is not important, Jeff-san." He replied sternly, his smile gone. "The elders have decreed this wedding must not take place." Jeff's eyes grew wide with surprise, his mind a whirl of emotions. After all he had gone through. Now, the person he most respected in the world was demanding the nuptials be terminated. Jeff battled with an appropriate response. "The elders say she is not suitable, Jeff-san." "Suit...Suitable?!?" Jeff yelled back at his master. "What gives them the right to determine who is or is not suitable for me to marry?!?" Instinctively, Jeff moved between Nabiki and his master. "You are the product of an ancient prophecy, my son." the master quietly responded. "You *must* marry from within the clan in order to fulfill that prophecy." "You never said anything about this before." "As you will recall, you were 12 years old when you left my care in London. I didn't feel the subject of marriage or prophecy would be suitable for a person of such age." The master's look remained hard and demanding. "You can't stop me. I'm going to marry Nabiki with or without the blessings of these...elders." Jeff softly enveloped Nabiki in his arms and gave his master a stern look of warning. "Such insolence of youth." the master said his eyes narrowed into slits. "The elders await you." He lowered his staff and mumbled some something while slowly oscillated the tip in the young couple's direction. Jeff and Nabiki's view of the world began to grow dimmer, like they were passing inside a dark tunnel. Both tried to move, to stop the crazy old man from completing his spell, but quickly found themselves rooted to the spot. In seconds, the pair were engulfed in total darkness, still holding each other, still aware of their surroundings but suspended in a black void. Neither could speak, or move. Moments later (or was it hours, it was hard to tell time in such a place), the couple found themselves in a chamber with unusually smooth floors. Strange odors floated through the room, some sweet some bitter. All evoked memories the pair fought to control. In a small pool of light, Jeff was kneeling on a large, soft pillow who's surface continually changed colors. When he realized Nabiki was no longer in his grasp, he frantically tried to move, to search for her but found himself rooted to the pillow who's colors swirled faster with every effort he made. Nabiki lost track of Jeff for just a moment, as if someone or something simply removed him from her grasp. She never felt herself being deposited on a large multicolored pillow in the chamber but her eyes smarted from the single bright light that engulfed only her and the pillow. As her eyes refocused, she could make out Jeff sitting like herself on a pillow some 10 feet away. "So, you are the young woman who would defy prophecy." Came a deep male voice from darkness in front of her. "She has captured the heart of our young clan member," came another male voice. "I wonder," began a third. "Would she be worthy of the clan?" There was a slight pause, as if the voices were considering their next step. Nabiki looked at Jeff, pleading for guidance. Jeff could do nothing to help. When he tried to speak, he found no voice. It was if some unseen hand held his throat, squeezing whenever he tried to speak. When he tried to move, his muscles refused to obey. Whatever was to happen, unless he could summon enough power to overcome whatever was holding him, Nabiki would be on her own. "Child, would you care for this man?" asked the first voice. "Hai!" Nabiki answered, her voice tinged with fear but still strong and clear. "Would you protect him?" "Hai!" "Would you... die for him?" came the third voice, harsher than the others. Before she could answer, Jeff momentarily broke through the force that controlled his voice. "NO!" his cry echoed throughout the chamber. "I will not..." The force that had silenced him earlier returned ten fold and Jeff grimaced under the pressure. Beads of sweat from his exertion now running freely down his face. "The question is hers!" the voice boomed, clearly irritated at Jeff's interruption. "Answer, child." Nabiki stumbled before she could answer. Something held her back. Perhaps it was only the last vestiges of her materialistic self. Perhaps she had never considered having to commit to such a proposition. She loved him, yes; but sacrificing her own life was another matter. The voice had demanded an answer and Nabiki was frantically searching for the words, any words. "She fails to answer." the third voice crowed. "She is not suitable." Panicked, Nabiki instinctively felt to her chest. It was still there. With a look a fear and apprehension, she reached under her blouse and produced a small amulet. Holding it as far from her as she could without removing the chain from her neck, she presented it to the unseen voices. "This is the mark of the Clan of the Cold Moon." she began her voice small and frightened. "It belonged to my mother. I... I claim birthright in this clan." She shouted at the darkness still holding the tiny silver amulet. She didn't know if such would protect her or not, but it was all she had left. She had found the amulet in some of her mother's things soon after her death. At first, she kept it because it looked valuable and she was determined to have it for herself. But it quickly took on another meaning when she had the crest examined by an expert on ancient Japanese jewelry. It was an ancient clan marking, a shinobi clan. But this discovery carried another mystery. Try as she might, she could find nothing recent on the clan, its existence, or even if there were any survivors. For all she knew, the amulet might have been given to her mother. If not, it spoke volumes about her mother and meant that she was clan-bound to the Clan of the Cold Moon, a mysterious shinobi mountain clan not spoken of in over 400 years. Bluff or real, Nabiki was determined to play it to the hilt. "This would change everything." the first voice finally said slowly. "The clan mark is true. She is who she claims to be." the second observed. "She is *not* true clan!" the third insisted. "She must prove herself." There was more silence as the voices considered what to do. Perhaps it was the elders' preoccupation that released Jeff's mystic muzzle, whatever the cause, Jeff found himself able to speak again. "Nabiki, you never told me of this." Jeff demanded. "I was afraid you wouldn't understand, at first." she admitted. "Then I found out about you and feared... I hid it because I was afraid... of what it might do... to us." Jeff just lowered his head and smiled painfully. "I wouldn't have cared. I love you, Nabiki. Nothing can change that." As Jeff looked at her again, their eyes met and an understood bond between them was reenforced. Nabiki noticed the room began to fade into darkness. "I love you, Jeff-chan!" Nabiki yelled as she lost sight of her fiance. "We shall see." came the third voice from the gathering darkness. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. "We shall see." When her vision cleared, Nabiki found herself standing in a park, surrounded by playing children and mothers preparing their picnic meals. Nabiki turned slowly, taking in the familiarity of it all. The smells, the sounds, she had been here before... long, long ago. "Nabiki." came a small, insistent voice at her side accompanied with a hand tugging her skirt. "Nabiki, come with me. I want to find some duck eggs." A little girl who looked exactly like... Akane when she was 5 years old took her hand and started pulling her towards the small lake. "I'm gonna hatch the eggs and have baby ducks all my own." the girl quipped. "Nabiki, honey, don't be gone long. Your lunch will be ready soon." Nabiki froze, jerking the younger girl to a stop, at the sound of the woman's voice. Slowly, scared to even breathe, she turned her head and mouthed the word: "Okaasan?" "And try to keep little Akane out of the lake this time. I don't want to use all our drinking water to clean her up again." the woman sighed as she continued to unpack her picnic basket. "Okaasan?...Mother?" Nabiki asked a little louder this time. "If you're not coming, I'll go myself." pouted Akane as she released her older sister's hand and took off towards the lake. "What is it Nabiki?" asked the young girl next to her mother. "Is there something wrong?" "Kasumi, I..." Nabiki sucked in hard as she realized she knew this place, these people. She should be only 6 or 7 years old. This couldn't be happening. She looked around frantically for Jeff. "What's the matter, dear?" her mother asked with a slight tilt of her head. "Did you lose something?" "I...I thought you died. Yes, you're dead. I'm sure of it." Nabiki said holding her head and shaking it trying to clear the confusion from her. Suddenly, she was unsure of what was real and what was illusion. She remembered the night her mother died; the commotion, the overwhelming sadness. She remembered listening to all the mourning until she couldn't take it anymore. Disappearing to a crawlspace under their neighbor's house so she could cry without being seen or heard; how she pounded the dirt with her fists for hours trying to make the hurt go away. How she hated her mother for leaving before she had a chance to say the things in her heart. How she hated herself for not saying those things sooner. She remembered the funeral and how she alone remained hard-faced, determined to show everyone she could take it, no matter how bad it was; how she vowed to never allow anyone to hurt her again. How she since dealt with others, even her own family, without care as to who got hurt or what got damaged. All that mattered was that *she* benefited. Did it all really happen? Was *this* really happening? "I know, dear. And you're right." the woman sighed. "In life, each of us must forge our own afterlife. We must pick that which has the most meaning to us; a place or a selection of people. When the time comes, we move on to inhabit that which we created. This is the afterlife I fashioned for myself." The woman turned to the girl kneeling next to her. "Kasumi, would you go see to little Akane. Try to keep her out of trouble, won't you?" Little Kasumi readily agreed and scampered off after her wayward little sister. Nabiki followed the passing of her 'older' sister, her mouth trying to form words that were passing through her brain at the speed of light. "I guess we need to talk, Nabiki." her mother said quietly. "Mother, why didn't you tell me about your shinobi background?" Nabiki was, as always, direct and to the point; even if she wasn't entirely sure what the point was. "Yes, I feared you would grow up this way." her mother said shaking her head sadly. "Much too direct for a proper Japanese woman. You'll never get a husband like that, daughter. You must learn to speak properly." This brought back all the irritations Nabiki ever had with her mother. Be a proper lady. Learn to be deferential to men. Practice to become a good wife. All the things she used to bitterly swallow when her mother was alive. Desperately, she fought back a wave of anger. "Mother, I've already got a fiance." Nabiki said with an irritated edge to her voice. One a lot like that which she used often with her mother before. "Yes, but he's not Japanese, is he?" again her mother was using that irritating condescending tone of voice that often caused Nabiki to want to run outside screaming. "Mother," Nabiki again tried to steer the conversation. "the clan." Her mother just sighed and paused for a few moments, looking past her middle daughter towards the lake. Finally, she shifted her gaze to take in Nabiki. Looking her daughter up and down, she smiled. "You have grown well, my daughter. So tall and beautiful. I'm glad to hear you have found a husband." This, while feeding some long neglected need of hers for her mother's approval, only frustrated her more. Her mother was still the perfect model of a Japanese woman; indirect but firm. God! Nabiki hated that. "Mother, please. I don't know just how much time I have here. Tell me about your relationship with this clan symbol." Nabiki held out the amulet she wore around her neck. Her mother examined it carefully and smiled again. "I had almost forgotten about that. I haven't seen it since I was a child." she said softly. "It is the symbol of my parents mountain clan." "Yes I know, mother." Nabiki was reliving every frustrated argument she ever had with her mother. "The Clan of the Cold Moon. But does this make me a member of your family's clan?" With a heavy sigh, her mother began her sad tale. She came from a poor mountain family, one of seven children. Her parents had avoided most of the terrible destruction the last war delivered on the rest of Japan. Her distant relatives in Tokyo were not so lucky. They lost both sons in combat and their only daughter to a bombing raid. As they were too old to have more children, their home and martial arts training center were in danger of passing out of the family. As the youngest daughter, Nabiki's mother was sent, still a very young child, to live with these relatives as their own daughter. When it came time to marry, a man with suitable martial arts skills was chosen; Soun Tendo. From the start, the gods must have been smiling on the young couple as they fell instantly in love. This was all the more amazing as most marriages of that era were loveless arranged matches that accomplished only the continuation of the male family's name. Her mother paused, staring off into space, a little smile creasing her face. "You really did love him, didn't you?" Nabiki asked softly. Her mother only nodded modestly. "And now you must prove your love for this shinobi fiance of yours." "You...you know?" Nabiki was stunned. How much did her mother know of her life? Did she know of all the dark things she did to raise money for the family? Did she know of all the things Nabiki would spend an eternity regretting having done? The thought suddenly left her feeling small and vulnerable. "We...spirits of the afterlife," her mother struggled, as if she were fighting something to tell her daughter this. "Know all of the past and the present. I know of Ranma and Akane, of sweet Kasumi and her Dr. Tofu. I even know of every woman that has since caught the eye of your father." She paused and smiled happily at her middle daughter. "It matters not. Eventually, he will join me here and I will have an eternity to forgive him." "And the future?" Nabiki hesitantly asked, not really sure she wanted to know the answer. "No one knows the future, kitten" her mother answered with a smile. Nabiki's mind almost panicked. If she had any remaining doubts about this spirit, they were gone with the use of her mother's pet name for her. "Mama, " Nabiki paused, reaching out her had to touch her mother's. It was as warm and alive as she remembered it. "Am I really a blood member of the Clan of the Cold Moon?" "Yes, daughter." Her mother said with a slight tilt of her head. "You are clan bound." Delighted, Nabiki leaned forward and kissed her mother on the cheek (something she had never done). "Thank you, mother." Nabiki got up to leave but hesitated. There was one task remaining; something she had always regretted not doing before. Turning slowly towards he mother, she smiled painfully, her eyes watering, almost ashamed to meet her mother's gaze, and said in an almost little girl voice: "I love you, mama." "I know, Nabiki. You always had trouble expressing such things." Her mother lamented while smiling at her middle daughter. "But I always knew your love was there." The scene began to fade again. But not before Nabiki got to express her love for her mother one more time. As the faded away, Nabiki was left with the image of her mother's smile. It had been long in coming but worth it to know her mother was, at last, proud of her. Nabiki's warm feeling was quickly replaced with terror as a new scene materialized. If where she just came from was heaven, this place was, surely, the opposite. She was in a long cavern, perched on a narrow ledge no more than a foot wide. The wall of the cavern climbed vertically from the ledge only to disappear far above. Below her, however, lay the real terror. Perhaps 50 feet beneath the ledge, an incandescently hot river of molten rock flowed freely towards an unseen terminus. As she looked down, she could feel the heat beating against the soft skin of her face, screaming its malevolence with every pulse and wave. Nabiki quickly pushed back against the rough rock surface, her arms spread wide looking for hand holds. Her breath came in gasps as she tried to fight the acrid atmosphere of the cavern for shreds of oxygen, only to be teased into giving up what she could find by coughing on the whiffs of poisonous fumes that haunted the area. She heard a small shower of rocks begin off to her left. Slowly, she turned her head to see the ledge disappear a few meters away around a bend in the cavern wall. More dislodged rocks announced the appearance of a human hand as it explored around the corner looking for a hand hold. For several seconds, Nabiki held her breath waiting to see who, first the hand, then the arm belonged to. With a small grunt, Jeff Lawrence won his way around the corner to face Nabiki. "Jeff, what...?" Nabiki asked as she tried to reach out to him with her closest hand. "I..I don't really know," he replied nervously as he inched his way towards Nabiki. "One moment I was in the cave with the elders and the next I was clinging to his ledge for life." A slight earth tremor caused the two to link hands and hug the wall a little tighter. "We can't get out back that way," Jeff indicated with his head the way he had just come. "Let's try working further along your direction. Maybe the ledge gets wider there." With that, they set out inching their way along the narrow ledge, stopping frequently to rest. Quietly, Nabiki was glad Jeff was there. She felt safer with him around. At least, she wasn't facing this alone. That all ended at one stop, a violent earth tremor caused part of the thin ledge to crumble away, dumping Nabiki, screaming, towards the fiery doom below. Jeff's hand shot out with determined speed and caught Nabiki by her right wrist, securing himself with a finger hold in a small crack in the cavern wall with his other hand. There Nabiki dangled, grasping with both hands Jeff's arm while frantically kicking at the side of the cliff, searching for some toe hold she could use. With every attempt, she only dislodged more loose rocks and dirt, never finding the desperately sought after irregularity that could spell the difference between life and death. "Hold on!" Jeff grunted, the strain of holding Nabiki's dead weight sending a searing pain up his arm and across his chest. It felt like all the muscles in his torso were being relentlessly pulled away from their anchorages. "Jeff?" Nabiki cried, her grip on his arm sliding from the sweat both produced. One of her shoes was knocked off her foot and plunged towards the molten river below. Nabiki watched in horror as her shoe hit the surface of the stream and exploded into flames. The same fate awaited her should she be unable to regain the ledge. Jeff wasn't going to be able to hold on to her forever. Forever. She looked at Jeff's face; his tear stained cheeks and clenched teeth from the strain of holding Nabiki, his solidly set jaw of determination. It was then she realized the truth. She thought, almost calmly. Perhaps it was her Japanese acceptance of death. Maybe, seeing her mother's afterlife affected her thoughts. Whatever the case, she made her decision. To Jeff, she suddenly turned from grasping desperately at his arm to twisting violently in an attempt to slip from his grasp. "What are you doing!?!" Jeff yelled in shock. "Are you crazy?!?" Nabiki stopped her struggling long enough to look Jeff in his clear blue eyes. Something in her expression told him everything he needed to know. "NO!" he yelled in desperation. "I won't let you do it!" He valiantly tried to readjust his grip on her wrist but their combined sweat made such impossible. Whatever she tried, he was *not* going to let her kill herself for him. Almost calmly, she said: "I'm sorry, Jeff. I love you." and began to claw his wrist with her free hand. Bloody gauges left by her fingernails oozed and dripped blood down past the dangling girl to announce her eventual sacrifice to the molten river below. The pain in Jeff's arm increased to the breaking point. Jeff, too, knew the end was near. He was losing his grip at both ends. He had only seconds to decide. "Nabiki," he said calmly. "I'm sorry..." With that, he released his grip on the cave wall, sending the both of them tumbling towards the flaming river below. Nabiki could feel the heat build until a blinding flash assigned her to a cool darkness. For several minutes, she just lay there, eyes closed, feeling herself breathe. she thought. But the familiar smells of the original cavern and the cool smoothness of the cave floor, combined with the shooting pain in her right arm and shoulder assured her she was very much alive. With a painful groan, her whole right side was in agony when she tried to move, she rolled over to look at Jeff. He was still kneeling on the pillow as before, his head down and eyes closed as if asleep. His left arm hung limply down by his side. Still visible on his wrist and hand were the bloody scratches made by Nabiki during her struggle. She swallowed hard and tried to sit up. Grimacing at the pain in her arm, she finally made it to a sitting position. Looking around, she noted that nothing had changed. They were still alone and trapped. Anger and frustration quickly built in her. Emotionally, she was near the snapping point. "You have done well" came the first voice from the darkness. "You proved you were willing to die for our young clan member." the second observed. "But the prophecy.." started the third. "...HAS BEEN FULFILLED!" Nabiki roared, gaining her feet. She had no idea what the elders were talking about but she was so angry now she didn't care. She had won and that's all that mattered to her. Her arm still hurt like hell but she was beyond angry and that made the pain bearable. "I, Nabiki Tendo, claim my birthright as a full member of the Clan of the Cold Moon. You cannot deny me further. And I WILL marry this man!" She shuffled towards Jeff, her whole body actually shaking with rage. she thought. As if out of nowhere, Master Sato appeared between Nabiki and Jeff. "Get out of my way, old man." she growled. "We are leaving *now*." "I quite agree." was all he said as the room appeared to grow black again. Disoriented by the sudden darkness, Nabiki lost her footing and fell against the venerable shinobi master. He caught her before she could collapse on the floor and held her as a grandfather would hold his youngest granddaughter. At first she tried to wrench herself free but the pain in her arm reminded her of the foolishness of such a move. Moments later, they were back in the sun, exactly where they were when all this began. Jeff was laying unconscious on his side, Nabiki kneeling next to him. Master Sato just sat calmly on a large rock nearby puffing on an old pipe, as if nothing at all had happened. Nabiki eyed him suspiciously as she painfully reached out to touch Jeff's body. "He will recover." Master Sato calmly said between puffs. "He has been trained by the best, namely me." He flashed a satisfied grin Nabiki's way. "Besides, he still has to marry Nabiki Tendo, clan daughter." Nabiki wasn't sure but she got the feeling he was mocking her. She didn't like being mocked. "How much of that was real?" she asked leveling her most menacing look at the old man. "A wise man once said: The power of intention, guided by the altered perception that sees no obstruction, can create its own realities." He paused as if to catch Nabiki's reaction. "Such seem to transcend the dictates of conventional natural laws. In short, reality is that which you believe in strong enough." Nabiki stared at the old shinobi master with a mixture of loathing and respect. He was everything Jeff said he was... and was not. Clearly, a force to be reckoned with. "Nabiki Tendo," the old man said as he shifted positions to face her. "Your mother gave you more than life and a trinket to wear around your neck." Nabiki's hand instinctively went to feel for the amulet bearing her clan crest at her throat. For better or worse, she was now fully involved in the shinobi clans. She thought briefly of her encounter with the spirit of her dead mother and marveled at how well her mother bore such a load. It was then, Nabiki decided she could, at least, do the same. "Did you ever wonder just why you were so successful in your business dealings?" he asked slyly. In no hurry to answer, Nabiki turned to Jeff to see if he was all right. His deep, regular breathing told her Master Sato was correct, he would recover. Seeing his hand was still bleeding slightly, she tore a section of her skirt away, grimacing at the pain such an action caused her arm, not to mention the thought of destroying an expensive skirt, and started wrapping Jeff's wounds. "I was *damn* good, that's why." she said, a harsh edge to her voice. "Actually, you had an unfair advantage over your business associates." the old man calmly assumed a traditional shinobi position of meditation. "What are you babbling about, old man?" "A shinobi woman can give only a part of her clan skills to each of her children. Only when a shinobi man fathers those children can they achieve their full potential and become shadow warriors." Nabiki stopped bandaging Jeff's hand and stared at Master Sato. Something in what he just said made perfect sense. She *could* remember being so in control of some of her business dealings it was as if she was pulling the other's strings like a puppet. "That's right," the old man laughed. "You got the foresight that a shadow warrior needs to avoid traps and detect opponents weaknesses." "And my sisters?" she asked, her head cocked slightly. "Your older sister got the power of loyalty and compassion; qualities that bind a shadow warrior to the clan. Your younger sister got the reflexes and determination that makeup a warrior's power." he crossed his arms and closed his eyes in concentration. "You see? All three of you are special." he paused. "It's a pity about you and the prophecy." "What *is* this 'prophecy' you keep talking about?" Nabiki finished bandaging Jeff's wounds and painfully shifted her position. The old man took a deep breath and slowly let it out before answering. "Four hundred years ago a powerful Mikkyo monk, student of the great Saicho, took up temporary residence in a mountain cave not far from our village while seeking the enlightenment of our people's 'kuji goshin ho', our 'nine-syllable protection method'. One day, when some women from the village were bringing the monk his rice, they discovered him gone and his cave sealed. Our people searched throughout our clan territories but found no trace of him. All they ever found was his empty rice bowl and a small leather bag containing a single scroll. On that scroll was a prophecy in the monk's handwriting: In 400 years, a great calamity would befall our peaceful village. Only the intervention of an outsider, a 'gaijin', would save us and our way of life. It went on to claim that only 'he who is of our protector's legacy and clan wed' can open the monk's cave and ... bring about peace where there was none'." Master Sato paused while Nabiki absorbed just what he had revealed. "It also hinted of a great secret buried inside the cave, something of great spiritual enlightenment. Some interpreted that to mean something that would make one the most powerful shadow warrior ever seen." He paused with a far away look. "Many tried to open the cave; all failed and paid with their lives. It was if the spirits themselves were protecting the secret. So you see, little one, only he of the prophecy can ever hope to enter the cave." "And 'clan wed' is where I come in." Nabiki said still looking like she distrusted the old man. "Not so, little one. This should not concern you as you are not of our clan." "I hate to disagree, but were not the words: of clan wed'?" Nabiki, long accustomed to the intricacies of contracts, was handling this like a sensitive business deal; dotting all the I's and crossing all the t's. "What?" Master Sato stopped and stared at Nabiki. "Don't you see? I could very well be the one the monk meant." Nabiki tiredly leaned forward as she spoke. "The words never mentioned *which* clan he would wed. Just that he would wed one from a clan." Master Sato sat silently for a few moments considering her words. Slowly a smile crept across his weathered face. "What clan did you clam birthright?" "My mother's clan; the Clan of the Cold Moon." There was a long pause as Master Sato fit all the pieces together. A smile spread slowly over his face. "Of course! Absolutely brilliant!" Master Sato finally said, slapping his knee. "I don't understand why I didn't see it before. "Now you lost me." Nabiki said holding her sore arm. "You were wise to conceal your clan heritage at first, little one. Elsewise, your husband-to-be would have been honor bound to take your life." "Huh?" Nabiki's eyes went wide with surprise. She had checked all such things carefully and found no blood feuds between her mother's clan and Jeff's for the last two hundred years. "What are you talking about? There is no feud between your clan and mine." The old man just chuckled softly to himself. "The feud I speak of is over 400 years old and involves more than just our two clans. Members of your clan aligned themselves with a powerful warlord to finish his war against the shinobi people. For their treachery, the members of your clan were 'blood hunted', outcasts among all shinobi everywhere, hunted to extinction. This was far more than a simple inter-clan squabble. It was a genocidal hunting of a people. I suspect your mother was sent to live with distant relatives for more reasons than to help out family members in trouble. They could have been hiding a fertile female clan member among an outsider family to escape detection." "Then...I'm also 'blood hunted'." Nabiki said, a trace of fear creeping into her voice. Realizing just what she had said and who she had said it to, slowly started sliding away from the old shinobi master. "Perhaps, little one." Master Sato said thoughtfully, then catching Nabiki's movement, added: "You no longer have anything to fear from me. You are pledged in marriage to a clan member; my adopted son. This gives you complete protection from both our clans. We can't kill you because of the prophecy and I suspect you are safe from your own clan; the few that remain." The old man sounded almost sad at that. "Brilliant, isn't it? Your marriage will fulfill the prophecy to the letter. It opens the cave while bringing peace to your people." "How?" "Don't you see? By taking you as a wife, Jeff-san will be binding our two clans. You and your people will then be under our protection. The feud will be over; all will be forgiven. After 400 years, peace will be restored where there was none. All as predicted." He laughed. "Prophecy?" Nabiki said marveling at the completeness of it all. "Prophecy, little one." the old shinobi master answered. "You are now more valuable than ever." Nabiki cautiously went to Jeff's side when he stirred. He may have been honor bound to kill her (if he even knew of the feud), but he proved he was willing to risk his life, even to the point of dying with her back in the cave. Besides, she still loved him. "Once you are wed, " the shinobi master advised. "You must return to Japan as soon as possible. I do not wish to alarm you, but there will be those who would do you harm. Not everyone has agreed with my adoption of your fiance. Some believe he is a mistake to be...corrected. We can better protect you and him on our native soil." He looked around like a dog sniffing for danger. "This paradise can prove... deceptive. I sense 'danger' from many quarters. Beware, little one." "I will," Nabiki promised, then added: "Ojiisan" Master Sato chuckled again. "Grandpa, huh? Just make sure I become a 'grandpa', little one." Nabiki blushed at the suggestion and looked at Jeff's stirring form. They had never discussed children. Actually, she had never considered children of her own. She wasn't sure she liked the idea. Children put her off almost as much as old people. She reached for Jeff and grimaced noticeably at the pain it caused her arm and shoulder. "The powers of the elders can sometimes result in injuries, little one. You are in pain." the master said moving swiftly to Nabiki's side. Instinctively, she recoiled from his touch. She was not sure just how much to trust him. Still, he was bound by clan laws and, if he was correct, she had nothing to fear from his touch. "There are certain pressure points right here." he said calmly as his fingers pressed lightly under her right shoulder blade and near her spine. His fingers seemed to vibrate slightly for a second, then were gone. Almost as if someone had flipped a switch, her pains disappeared. Nabiki freely moved her arm, testing the results of Master Sato's treatment. "Almost as good as Dr. Tofu." she remarked. "Well, I'm not sure just how long it will last." he said with a smile. "It is a technique shadow warriors use to ease their pain in the field. You will probably be stiff and a little sore tomorrow. Just take two aspirin and call me in the morning." Nabiki shot him a curious look through narrowed eyes. "A little English humor." he said defensively. "I never did get a handle on English humor." He chuckled again as his shakujo staff reappeared as if by magic. With a wave of his hand, he set off down the road, humming. Nabiki recognized the tune. "I heard that." He called from the road. "You must learn some mental discipline, little one. We will work on that after the wedding." He turned again and, in moments, seemed to fade from sight, gone from her view. For several minutes, Nabiki was left to her own thoughts. She struggled to focus her concentration to hold on to the images she had recently seen. Like the mist in the morning sun, they were fading from her memory. She soon discovered that all she could remember were something about a cave and the image of her mother. Perhaps such images were never meant to be remembered in this plane of existence. Still, she was determined to hold on to one image in particular. Focusing all her energy, she imprinted the one image that meant the most to her; that of her mother and how she had pleased her after all these years. Satisfied she had secured that memory, caressed it repeatedly in her mind. Instinctively, she faced her homeland. Bowing deeply, she whispered: "Thank you, mother. I will not dishonor you or the name of your...our clan." Nabiki Tendo, child of the modern world, the one least likely to follow the traditions of her ancestors, had come full circle. She didn't know exactly why, but with open arms, she embraced that which she was; a descendant of thousands of years of tradition. Never again, would she laugh at the old customs or rituals. The ordeal left her without knowing why, the answers as to what they all meant and why they were important. Jeff woke with a jerk and frantically looked around. Quickly, Nabiki was at his side. "Easy, my love." she cautioned as he sat up. "What happened?" he asked looking around. "What do you remember?" "We were walking. Then we stopped." Jeff ran his hand over his head as he tried to sort out sights and sounds that seemed to scurry towards the dark corners of his mind like so many cockroaches. "The last thing I remember is holding you in my arms. After that..." He shook his head in frustration. Nabiki smiled and embraced her fianc­ again. "Then that is all you *need* to remember." "Why is my hand wrapped with parts of your skirt?" "You had hurt your hand and..." she stared as Jeff unwound her crude bandage. She neglected to finish the sentence when she saw that his hand had almost completely healed. Only four pink lines remained where she had raked his hand with her fingernails. "Jeff-chan," Nabiki started looking around with a worried look on her face. "Let's go back to the church. I don't really feel very safe here." She helped him to his feet and the two started back up the hill. Along the way, he handed the torn strip of skirt she had used as a bandage back to her. "What am I supposed to do with this?" she asked incredulously. Jeff looked first at her skirt, then at her and answered: "Sew it back on?" Nabiki shot him a 'You've *got* to be kidding' look. "Maybe not." he sheepishly said retrieving the strip and wrapping it around his neck. "How about a neck tie? Khaki is a good color for me." Slowly, Nabiki broke into uncontrolled laughter. The pressure of the last few hours finally breaking over her in waves of laughter. Her eyes watered as she laughed so hard Jeff was forced to carry her the rest of the way. Neither would be able to recall exactly what happened in the clearing that day. But, its impact on their lives would change them both forever. "Sister, dear." Kuno's irritated voice carried through the bathroom door. "I hope you aren't going to remain in there for the entire morning. We have work to do, you know." "I know, my impetuous brother, but I must look good for my Ranma." Kodachi replied calmly. Kuno yawned. Moments later, a perfectly attired and detailed Kodachi emerged from the bathroom, ready to start the hunt for her lovely Ranma. "Brother dear," she said as she got a look at her brother's attire. "Surely, you're *not* going out dressed like that." Kuno just looked down at his Bermuda shorts with knee socks and light knit shirt before asking: "What's wrong with my attire?" "Well, for one thing, we're going to break up a wedding, not a boy scout camp out. I would suggest something more...dressy." Kuno just scowled at his sister as he rummaged through his suitcase, holding up various pairs of slacks for her approval until she decided on suitable garments for him to change in to. Fifteen minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom for her inspection. By now, she was casually leafing through a phone book and couldn't care less what her brother was wearing. "You know, sister dear." Kuno said with a sneer. "Having to spend a night sleeping in the same room with you will probably scar me for life." "Oh I doubt it will do any lasting damage," she responded while idly leafing through the yellow pages. "You're already about as warped as you can get." "You do know, I despise you." "Like I care?" Figuring that bickering with his sister was getting him nowhere fast, Kuno changed the subject. "I don't suppose you've given any thought as to just how we are going to find the Saotome-Tendo wedding?" "Actually, I have, my hopelessly romantic brother." she held up a morning edition of the local newspaper. "And just where did you acquire this little guide to the local culture?" "Some simpleton left it on the floor outside the room across the hall. As we have the greater need, I felt justified in taking it." she yawned, not used to getting up so early during school vacation. "You stole it." her brother corrected. "Such an ugly word, brother dear." Kodachi sniffed. "Nevertheless, I have solved our problem. Inside this paper, is a listing of all the weddings taking place anywhere in the city." "They publish such things in a public newspaper?" Kuno gasped. "How vulgar these Americans be." "In any case, we shall quickly know the location of the Saotome-Tendo wedding." Kodachi eagerly opened the paper and started scanning it page by page. Having attended a private catholic girls school, her abilities at reading English were far better than her brother's. Still, there were many gaps in her skills, some potentially disastrous. Thirty minutes later, she flung the entire newspaper from her in disgust. "I can't believe it." she moaned. "Dozens of weddings and none for a Saotome or a Tendo." "Perhaps, sister, they were going to be married privately." Kuno suggested from his seat in front of the windows. Secretly, he was celebrating his sister's failure, in spite of the fact it left them still in the dark. "Could they have spelled their names wrong? We are dealing with journalists here, not the brightest life forms on Earth." "Or maybe they have disguised their identities in an anagram or some other falsehoods knowing just how many wish to stop such a union." Kodachi was slipping deeper into her own brand of paranoia. To her, everyone had as twisted a mind as her own. All things were possible, even if they were ridiculous. While Kodachi busied herself with trying to manufacture an appropriate wedding announcement from those listed, Kuno idly rummaged through a small desk over by the windows. "Sister, dear." he crowed holding up his discovery. "I believe I hold the solution in my hands." Kodachi was used to her brother's 'solutions' and cast him a wary look. In his hand, written in Japanese, was a hotel guide for the Japanese business traveler. She quickly replaced her wary look with one of pure skepticism. "And just how will such a document assist us?" she asked sarcastically. "Just observe and learn how a Kuno handles such things." Kuno said smugly as he dialed the phone number listed on the front of the guide. Quickly a Japanese voice answered. "Yes, and ohayo to you as well. I'm Tatewaki Kuno, head of Kuno Industries of Nerima, I have need of you 'business traveler services' listed in the hotel guide." Kodachi just wrinkled her pretty nose at her brother's brazenness. "Yes, I wish for you to get me a list of all the weddings being held in this city for, say, the next week. What's that? Yes, I just need to know the church and the time. Thank you." Hanging up the phone, Kuno arrogantly looked down his nose at his sister. She, however, was only shaking her head. "What?" he asked. "You idiot." she sighed. "If we only get the name of a church and the time of a wedding, how will we know who's wedding is taking place?" Kuno just blinked several times and stared at his scowling sister. She was right, of course, but there was no way he was going to acknowledge he made a mistake. He was looking at more than loss of face here. "We will simply have to go to each and check on the wedding in progress." he stated flatly. This was *his* plan and no stupid sister was going to derail it. "Fine!" she growled as she started tearing the listings of churches from the phone book. "And just why, pray tell, are you defacing hotel property, sister dear?" Kuno asked with crossed arms. "Since you didn't see fit to ask for the addresses either, we will have to match up the name's of the churches using this directory." she spit in his direction. "Then, all we will have to do is get in a cab and point to the address we want to go to." "I can see some of my brilliance has rubbed off on you, sister dear." Kuno was getting too smug for even his demented sister to handle. "Are you sure you can spare any?" she mumbled as he turned to look out of the window again. It was late morning when Ranma-chan stumbled into the hotel lobby. Looking like someone who had slept under a toilet, she walked purposely towards the elevator. All eyes stared as she entered the first elevator car available and stared down anyone who tried to get on with her. All the while, she repeatedly pulled up the front of her shirt every time it flopped open to expose her breasts. This was, obviously, a person who has had a bad night. Her hotel key in hand, she rode the elevator back to her floor and a hot shower. Nabiki and the girls were riding in another rented limousine on their way back from the airport. This time, Jeff saw to it the driver spoke, at least, a little Japanese. They had gone to pick up the rest of the wedding party, Yuka and Sayuri. Unlike Nabiki, who was looking at unlimited choices for college, her former business associates had to remain behind for a few weeks to take the infamous National College Entrance Exam. Nabiki excitedly talked with them about their successes and which college they should choose. Naturally, Nabiki had assumed she would easily have passed the exam so felt most comfortable in dispensing advice. Whatever Yuka and Sayuri might have thought about such presumption, they kept to themselves. Akane and Kasumi could only listen in quietly; Kasumi because she never took the test and had no experience at choosing a Japanese college and Akane because she was still a year away from taking it. Besides, since the disappearance of Ranma, Akane was less talkative than usual. Even Nabiki, who ordinarily couldn't resist needling her sister, was most circumspect in dealing with her. It might have been because of Kasumi's warning or because of what Nabiki, herself, went through just the day before. In any case, Akane was less fun to be around than usual. Even the prospect of doing some 'power' shopping with Nabiki's new 'Gold' credit card that Jeff got her, didn't arouse much excitement in Akane. Somewhere up in the hills surrounding Honolulu, two old farmers were rocking away on their front porch. A fancy 'boom box' type radio was sitting on the table between them playing 'easy listening' music. "Say, Fred, do you think they ever captured those escaped pandas from the zoo?" the first farmer asked as he spit out a stream of tobacco juice. "Can't rightly say, Willard. Ain't heard the news today." his companion replied yawning. "I wonder just what one of those panda critters look like." "Saw a picture once. Right cute little critter." "Shush, Willard. The news is coming on." "And in local news. Officials from the Honolulu Zoo announced the successful recapture of both of the escaped Chinese pandas last night." the radio announcer droned. "The two pandas are healthy and glad to be back in captivity." Just then a large panda wandered up the road heading for the local sugar cane field. Both farmers continued to rock slowly and listen to the radio announcer go on about how the danger is over and no further pandas were still free. "You know what, Williard?" "What's that, Fred?" "Either that's the biggest damn spotted dog in the world or that announcer fella's a liar." "Yup, I speck so." With that, Fred reached over, grabbed a baseball bat and smashed the radio to bits. "Damn lying piece of Japanese crap. Did I ever tell you of the time we had to sandbag the beaches to keep those dirty Japs from invading?" "A hundred times, Fred. What do ya thing we oughta do about the big spotted dog?" "I dunno. Get a collar and leash?" Kuno and Kodachi started out on their great wedding busting' crusade. Armed with a list of potential Akane/Ranma weddings, the dynamic duo piled into a local taxi cab, pointed to an address and rumbled off to battle. The first wedding was already underway when the pair arrived. "Now, brother dear." Kodachi said looking over the parking lot carefully. "We don't want to do this the wrong way. I'll check around to see if this is the correct wedding. You wait here." To his credit, Kuno actually waited until his sister entered the building before doing something stupid. Hearing the sounds of 'The Wedding March' being played on an organ, he panicked and bolted for the front doors. Bursting inside, he pushed his way past the ushers and into the church itself, screaming for the wedding to stop. Unfortunately, he was screaming in Japanese (no one understood him), it was the wrong wedding (the bride and groom were two nice, young but hopelessly white people), and the ushers were each much larger than he was (this was gonna hurt). Grabbed by no fewer than four muscular ushers, Kuno was hauled to the front doors and used in a world record attempt at 'putting-the-screaming-Japanese-jerk' competition. Close but the Russian judge only gave them a 7.5 in the style category. Landing face down, Kuno didn't see the approach of his sister. However, something in the way the atmosphere changed told him she was near. "Couldn't wait like you were told, could you, my impetuous brother." Kodachi said as she bent over his body. "I told you I would handle this." "I told you I would handle this," Kuno mimicked from a face down position. "By the time you get around to checking on just who is getting married, the loving couple will have two children." Kodachi, not used to being told off by her brother twice in the same day, used a large rock on his head to make sure he understood that she was slightly miffed. "That hurt, sister dear." he mumbled calmly as he tried to pull his face out of the turf. "Just for that, I will carry on the search alone." "Fine," she barked grabbing the list from him, tearing it in half and tossing the lower half back onto his body. "You do your search and I'll do mine." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed off. Kuno finally extracted himself from the soft earth and, rubbing his head where Kodachi nailed him with the rock, looked at the part of the list she had left him. Ranma-chan slowly drug her weary body down the hall towards her room. As luck would have it, Jeff was just exiting his room and passed the glowering red-head. "Ohayo Ranma." he said politely as he walked by. "RANMA?!?" Running back to catch up with the still irritated best-man in female form, Jeff started with the usual questions. "Where, the hell, have you been?! Everybody has been worried sick about you." "I don't want to talk about it." "And where's your father?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Not only that, you missed the wedding rehearsal and Akane is spitting mad." Apparently, the use of Akane's name right then was not the wisest choice of words. With a move only Ranma could do, he grabbed Jeff by the throat and pinned him against the wall. "Perhaps, I was just being a bit selfish with that last remark. If you could just move your thumb, I would like to breathe again. If you don't mind." Jeff was back to his helium voice, his eyes bugging out and his face turning bright red. Ranma released him but continued to give a warning look that could match anything Akane had in her arsenal. Rubbing his throat and making sure everything still worked, Jeff noticed Ranma-chan's top had flopped open again. "Would you fix that please." he said waiving a free hand at her chest. "I've been controlling my libido with cold showers for three days and the last thing I need right now is to be face to face with a pair of those." Still glaring at Jeff, Ranma-chan fixed the front of her shirt again. "Look, I've got a one o'clock appointment to get fitted for my tux." Jeff said looking at his watch. "If you shower and change, your clothes I mean, we can both get fitted at the same time and save you a trip later. Okay?" "Very well." Ranma-chan said exhaustedly. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in the lobby." "And pitch those clothes, they smell like you slept on the floor of a toilet." Jeff called after her. Ranma-chan just hung her head in resignation. she thought with disgust. Nabiki led her little entourage into Mr. Moto's Wedding Shop. She was in the market for the most beautiful wedding dress possible and bridesmaids dresses for the rest. Mr. Moto had no idea what *he* was in for. Two hours later, a shaking and sweating Mr. Moto had fitted all in the most expensive outfits he had. It wasn't the fitting that had the poor man so out of sorts. It was the bargaining job done on him by the bride-to-be. In short, *she* had taken *him* to the cleaners. "Nabiki, I read that it's a custom in the West for a bride to get married with four traditional things; old, new, borrowed, and blue." Yuka chirped as she casually fingered the dress Nabiki had picked out. "Neat." Sayuri clapped her hands. "It's like a game." Kasumi liked games and was about to join in when she noticed Akane sitting alone by the door, looking like someone who just lost her best friend. Slipping over next to her, Kasumi reached down and patted Akane on the arm. "He'll be all right." she insisted. "You've got to have faith." Akane looked up at her big sister. "How can you be so sure?" she asked almost in tears. "I *know* things, remember?" Kasumi smoothed her sister's hair. "I've never been able to understand just why, but at times..." she smiled at Akane. "He's all right." Akane smiled weakly and held her sister's hand for a few moments before reluctantly agreeing. "Okay, Oneechan. I'll believe you. I just hope he'll show up soon." "He will, Akane." Kasumi put her arm around her little sister and helped her to her feet. "Now, let's go play Yuka's little game and make your sister, Nabiki, happy." Akane nodded shyly and they joined the others. "Okay," Yuka summed up. "You'll wear my class pin; that's blue. And Sayrui's charm bracelet; that's the borrowed. Of course, the dress is the new. But what about the old?" Yuka struck a contemplative pose. Nabiki's hand instinctively went to her mother's clan amulet around her throat. She was about to suggest something when Kasumi interrupted. "I have something, very old for you." She dug through her purse and produced a small silver tube no more than six inches in length. Curved slightly, it appeared to have two parts that were beautifully carved. "What is it?" Nabiki asked as she fingered it's surface. "It belonged to your mother and is *very* old." Kasumi paused watching Nabiki's reaction. "It was worn by your mother when she got married." Yuka and Sayuri crowded closer to examine the object. In the light of the shop, the silver surface seemed to sparkle as it was turned. "It's a 'promise tanto'." Kasumi finally revealed as she pulled the two ends apart to reveal a tiny silver handled tanto. "What's it for?" Nabiki asked with raised eyebrows. A knife at a wedding seemed slightly out of place, even for a Tendo wedding. "It's not used much any more." Kasumi sighed. "But for hundreds of years Japanese brides wore them on silver chains so they hung down between their breasts. Every movement would cause the cold silver to touch the bride's breast bone lightly reminding her of her promise." "What promise?" Akane asked, now fully involved in the group's activities. "It's the ultimate pledge by a Japanese bride." Kasumi smiled like she was revealing a long lost secret. "Should she ever dishonor her husband or fail him in any major way, she was to use the blade to take her own life." The other girls gasped at the thought. Only one or two generations removed from such common practices, they couldn't conceive of a situation that would compel them to do such a thing. Nabiki's first reaction was to slide the blade back into it's silver scabbard and hand it disgustedly back to her older sister. But she suddenly thought of her mother and the meeting on the cliff. Instinctively, her hand tightened around the tanto and her look was that of someone looking far away. She recalled her vow never to dishonor her mother's clan and how she was now the hope of those survivors of the Clan of the Cold Moon. She swallowed hard. "I...I will wear this," she said, her eyes beginning to water. "In honor of mother. I will wear it proudly and abide by the tradition." Yuka and Sayuri gasped. This was *not* the same Nabiki they knew back in Japan. Exchanging looks, they wondered just what had happened to their friend over the last two months. Akane broke down and gave her older sister a big hug that seemed to last forever. The two had never been that close, but things were happening that would bring them together like never before. There was still a spark of the old Nabiki left. "Easy, little sis." she said in almost mocking tones. "When you get married, you'll have to wear one of these too. With your temper, it's liable to get used on the groom." Akane blushed while the other girls giggled. Kasumi just smoothed the hair on both of her sisters and chuckled quietly. After all, everything her mother had hoped for; the girls getting married and coming together as best friends was happening. "For you, mother." Kasumi thought as she switched to hugging her younger siblings. At the Honolulu Zoo, Mr. Saotome was running for his life from the female panda. Pulling signs that read: [Control yourself, madam.], [I'm a married man.], and [Get away from me, you hussy!] he waddled from corner to corner, constantly pursued by a female panda that was obviously in heat. A couple of zoo keepers were bringing the pandas their afternoon meal. "That big one sure is smart." the first observed as he approached the enclosure. "I wonder where he keeps getting those signs?" "Beats me but he can't be all that smart," the other replied as he set down the tub of bamboo. "He hasn't said a single thing on those signs in English." "You idiot! These are Chinese pandas. Where would they learn to speak English?" "Oh, yeah. I didn't think about that." "Of course, you didn't. That's why *I'm* the senior guy here." They tossed in the bamboo and prepared to leave. Mr. Saotome, his hunger winning out over his carnal concerns, quickly pounced on the food allowing the female to paw him amorously. Holding up a sign asking for Soy Sauce, caused the first zoo keeper to reiterate: "Yup, he sure is a smart bear." The phone was ringing in Ranma's room. After his shower, the poor tired boy had laid down for just a few minutes. He shook his head trying to make the ringing go away before realizing it was the phone. Sleepily, he rolled over and picked up the receiver. "Mmah. Yeah, whadya want?" he mumbled. "Hey, are you sleeping?" Jeff's voice came through the phone, a bit loudly Ranma thought. "We're going to be late, partner." Suddenly, Ranma was wide awake. the thought wildly. "Yeah, sure. I'm on my way now." He slammed the phone down quickly and scurried for the door. Sprinting down the hall, he easily dodged a couple of elderly tourists and reached the elevators in record time. Punching the down button several times, he noticed all the cars were about as far away from his floor as they could get. he thought as he pushed open the stairwell door. Ranma raced down the stairs like a sprinter, shoving open the ground floor fire door and running smack into a waiter carrying a whole tray of glasses filled with ice water. The resulting crash brought a crowd of curious spectators along with Jeff. Upon his arrival, he found both the waiter and a female Ranma on their backs in a pool of ice water. The waiter was out cold but Ranma was quietly laying on her back drumming her fingers on the soggy carpet. Jeff thought as he reached for the red-head. "Come on, little lady." He helped Ranma-chan to her feet. "We'll get you back up to your room and into some dry clothes." The elevator ride was colder than the water Ranma had just been soaked in. "You know, Jeff-san." Ranma-chan said disgustedly. "Sometimes, I think Akane's right. It *would* be better staying this way. I mean, how often do I get splashed with *hot* water?" Wisely, Jeff declined to answer. Back on their floor, Ranma made another discovery, in his haste, he had left his key back in his room. With a sigh, Jeff dug out his key and told Ranma to use his shower to transform back, while he went down to the desk and got another key to Ranma's room. He'd meet Ranma in ten or fifteen minutes with some dry clothes. Ranma quickly showered and was about to check outside for Jeff when he noticed a loud 'ticking' sound. he thought as he opened the door to the hall. He was about to close the door again when the bomb exploded. In a blinding flash, Ranma was thrown out the door, across the hall, off the wall, landing squarely on an unattended maid's cart. The cart took off on its own down the hall at break neck speed, a dazed Ranma clinging to the top. Almost to the end of the hall, the fire doors were closing, he braced for the impact. The cart must have been a good one as it took the blow from the heavy steel fire doors and careened across the lobby where dozens of people evacuating the building were treated to the sight of a naked Japanese teen riding a runaway maid's cart. Halfway up the next hallway, Ranma's cart collided with another maid's cart, diverting his through the open door of the room the maid was cleaning before the explosion. Still moving at warp speed, the SS Maid Cart passed through the open balcony sliding glass door and impacted the hard iron railing, coming to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, physics being what they are, Ranma didn't. With a long yell, Ranma Saotome, sans towel, cart or usable parachute, sailed in a magnificent arc, landing in the deep end of the hotel's swimming pool. A couple of male Chinese teens, seeing Ranma's impressive stunt, totally misinterpreted what was happening and started running towards the pool yelling: "Jackie Chan! Jackie Chan!". This had the effect of gathering a rather large crowd, all armed with the best in photographic equipment to record the completion of another successful Jackie Chan movie stunt. Imagine their surprise when, instead of a middle aged martial arts actor/stunt man, an angry and very naked red-headed Japanese girl came sputtering to the edge of the pool. "That's not Jackie Chan, you idiot!" one Chinese girl said to the guy who started the stampede. "Yeah, but this is better." the boy replied only to be Kun-chan 'bapped' by the females in the crowd. Ranma-chan just hung on the side of the pool, head in hand, drumming her fingers again on the hard surface and wondering just what she did to deserve the last 24 hours. At first, Jeff tried to get up to the fourth floor but quickly reversed direction when he heard all the commotion out by the pool. If anyone could cause a ruckus like that, it had to be Ranma. He was right, of course, and grabbing a bunch of beach towels along the way he headed for the pool. he thought as he dodged tourists, police, and firefighters on his way to the pool. Sure enough, there was Ranma, naked, female, and *not* in a good mood. "Can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?" Jeff commented as he started feeding Ranma-chan towels. Soon he had her out of the pool and wrapped sufficiently in towels to look like just another swimmer. "What happened?" "Jeff-san" Ranma-chan said flatly. "Your room blew up." Jeff just blinked twice. "I think it best to get as far away from here as possible. When the fire investigators start digging through the rubble of the fourth floor they're gonna want to have a little talk with me. For now, we better get you some clothes." Jeff waived his arm to attract the attention of a nearby taxi. Shoving the still wet Ranma-chan in the back seat, Jeff quickly followed and directed the driver to a small men's store in down town Honolulu. The girls were just leaving Mr. Moto's shop when a taxi pulled up front and an excited Soun Tendo jumped out. Waiving a local newspaper, he shouted that he had found Mr. Saotome. The girls quickly gathered around to see a front page picture of a panda sitting on a pile of straw holding a sign that read, in Japanese, 'HELP!!!'. "That's him, all right." Nabiki said. Only Akane noticed the fire trucks and police cars racing in the direction of their hotel. "We've got to go get him." Kasumi said firmly. "We've got to find Jeff first." Nabiki corrected her sister as she started for the taxi. All six tried to pile into the cab at the same time, Akane being the last to try to squeeze in. As luck would have it, another cab containing a very frustrated Kuno was passing by in the opposite direction. He just happened to look up in time to see his beloved Akane Tendo getting into the cab outside a fashionable Wedding Dress shop. His reaction was immediate and vocal. However, his lack of a usable English vocabulary made it impossible to get the driver to understand he wanted to stop. The taxi continued down the street, rocking back and forth as a frantic Mr. Blue Thunder screamed in Japanese and pounded on the glass between himself and the driver. Meanwhile, Jeff and Ranma-chan were only seconds behind Kuno's cab heading for the men's shop. Kasumi was the first to spot Jeff in the back seat of the cab going in the opposite direction. So, as their cab pulled away from the curb, Nabiki used the only English words she knew would fit in this situation: "Follow that cab!" Figuring a fare was a fare, the cabbie pulled a u-turn in the middle of the street, cutting off two police cars in the process, and set off after Jeff's cab. The police cars, now out of control, took a short detour through a couple of beach front vendor's carts and on into the blue Pacific ocean, their lights still flashing as they sunk slowly beneath the waves. At the first light, Kuno's cab and Jeff's cab pulled up next to each other. Kuno was still yelling at the driver when he noticed in the cab next to him sat his red-haired, pig tailed goddess, wet and lovely. This only spurred him to scream louder. That was all the cabbie could take. Fare or no fare, he wanted this wacko out of his hack. Kuno gladly obliged but had lousy timing as the light suddenly turned green and the cab containing his red-haired love took off through the intersection. Before Kuno could climb back into his cab, the cabbie gunned the engine and followed Jeff's cab on down the street. Frustrated, Kuno jumped up and down waving his arms in the middle of the street. This almost caused an accident as the cab containing the girls and Mr. Tendo had to swerve to avoid hitting the lunatic. However, as the cab sped past, Akane and Kuno caught sight of each other. This caused Kuno set off after Akane's cab on foot. He didn't get far, halfway through the next intersection, a fire truck on its way to the hotel bombing, swerved to avoid a tall Asian male sprinting down the middle of the street, causing the trailing police car to slam on his brakes resulting in a rear end collision with the fire truck. The collision caused several cars from the cross street traffic to swerve wildly, one winding up in the store front of Iwase Books of Honolulu (your best value in Japanese Manga in Hawaii) and another passing through a fire hydrant, over a street vendor's modest cart and up onto a bus stop bench. Three or four more accidents and it was all over. No injuries but a least a dozen furious, not to mention soaking wet, police officers who clearly wanted to have a heart-to-heart talk with 'that idiot who was running down the middle of the street'. Mr. Moto, still shaken from the financial licking he had just taken at the hands of a master negotiator, was closing his shop for lunch. Squad cars, fire trucks, and ambulances were rapidly whizzing by in both directions. As he hung the 'Out to Lunch' sign on the front door and finished securing the lock, his entire shop blew up with a mighty roar. When the smoke cleared, Mr. Moto was still standing at his front door. Actually, that was all that was left of his shop; a door, a sign and a pile of rubble. This just wasn't his day. Nabiki's cab finally caught up with Jeff at the next stop light. Japanese girls came pouring out of the cab heading for the one in front. "Jeff, we've found Mr. Saotome!" Nabiki yelled as she grabbed the passenger door handle. "Everybody in!" Jeff yelled, opening the back doors to allow the girls entry. Mr. Tendo was the last to exit his cab and the cabbie got out yelling about the fare. Mr. Tendo reached in his pocket and handed a 50 dollar bill to the driver and sprinted to Jeff's cab, squeezing in next to his oldest daughter. As the overloaded cab pulled away from the intersection, the other cabbie was chuckling about his windfall. The fare was only a little over 10 dollars. He was reveling in the thought of a $40 tip when a lady in a minivan rear ended his parked cab sending it rolling into the intersection where it was promptly t-boned by two other cars. This left the driver with a totaled taxi and a $40 tip to cover the damage. Not the best of days for him either. As an over stuffed cab rolled up to a small men's shop, eight people piled out. Jeff tossed a $100 bill to the driver and ordered him to wait. Into the men's shop dashed six Japanese females, one Japanese father, and a very annoyed Jeff. Jeff asked Mr. Tendo to help fix up Ranma while he got the whole story from Nabiki. "Ah...Jeff-san," Mr. Tendo cleared his throat nervously. "He is still a...ah, she." "What? Oh...well, take her back into the bathroom and splash some hot water on her and then get him some clothes." Turning to Nabiki, he listened as she excitedly waived the newspaper in front of him. Sure enough, there was a picture of Mr. Saotome on the front. "Well, we'll just have to go get him." Jeff said with resignation. "Although I don't have a clue as to how." Kuno lost sight of Akane's taxi cab soon after it pulled away from his intersection. Figuring she was on her way to the church, he hailed another taxi and directed the driver to the next church on his list. Arriving in minutes, he dashed inside and attempted to disrupt what turned out to be a little African-American wedding service. Immediately set upon by half a dozen members of the wedding party, he was hauled outside and unceremoniously dumped on the grass. Indignant, Kuno used the only Shakespeare phrase he knew in English, referring to his assailants as 'boorish blackamoors'. This proved a mistake as some obviously misinterpreted the statement to be some kind of racial slur and proceeded to hog tie and toss the yelling Kuno over the edge of the nearest cliff. A small, but happy birthday party was in full swing around the swimming pool of this upper class suburban neighborhood. In attendance were a dozen little girls, their mothers, a fly attracting pony, and a certain Mr. Happy, the clown (who didn't look all *that* happy to begin with). Just as the girls were finishing the traditional singing of 'Happy Birthday' the air was rent with the scream of somebody approaching...from above. Tatewaki Kuno's long scream of indignation was cut short as his body did a perfect cannon-ball dive into the deep end of the outdoor pool; splashing water on everyone including the pony and Mr. Happy. As Kuno painfully crawled out of the pool, he kept repeating over and over that he was all right and they needn't worry. As he was standing on the surface surrounding the pool, the frozen party goers seemed to come alive, throwing everything they could get their hands on. Some mothers even pulled up the cute little 'Tiki' torches and began beating Kuno about the head and chest with them. The kids were screaming, the women were yelling, the pony was stampeding, and Kuno was running for his life. The final indignity was delivered by Mr. Happy, who chased Kuno down the street beating him over the head with a shovel. Kuno was amazed at just how fast a clown in oversized red shoes could run. Jeff apparently had not been placed on either the 'missing person' or the 'all points bulletin' lists as he was easily able to arrange for another limousine to pick up himself and the rest of the family along with a small panel van for his, hopefully, panda rescue activity. He didn't have a plan yet but was furiously working on the possibilities. The mood inside the limo was tense but hopeful. Remembering that he now owned a large chunk of a major Hollywood film production studio, he hatched a plan to retrieve Mr. Saotome. Shoving notepads and whatever else he could find in the back of the limo into the confused hands of the girls he quickly sketched an outline of his plan. When they arrived at the zoo, it was still closed. Exiting the limo at the main gate, Jeff strode confidently up to the small office and demanded to see the person in charge while the others scurried to the panda compound. As it was still early in the day, the only person of any authority was the Assistant Head Zookeeper. "May I help you, mister..." the zoo authority figure asked, his hand extended. Ignoring the man's hand, Jeff strode over to the panda compound and said flatly: "Jeff Lawrence and you have my panda." "I'm sorry, sir. But those pandas are from the traveling Chinese panda exhibit." the head guy said confidently. "We just recaptured them last night." "I'm sorry, but *you've* made a mistake. The big one there is a trained movie panda bear being used to film a Japanese martial arts movie my studio is filming on the other side of the island." Jeff said trying to stare down the smaller zoo employee. "He escaped two days ago and we have been frantically searching for him ever since." It was becoming obvious he would have to do better. "Who are all those people?" the zoo keeper asked waiving his hand at the Tendos. "Movie crew." "Really?" for the first time the zoo keeper sounded interested. "Any stars in there?" "Well," Jeff hesitated. "Ah...The dark haired boy and the girl with the short dark hair are the stars." "Really? What's it about?" "It's a...ah...boy and his panda movie. Ah...they rescue the girl who is...ah being pursued by bad guys and they all live happily ever after." "They seem awful young." the zoo keeper was getting suspicious. "It's a children's movie. You know, a Japanese Disney-like film." Jeff was making all this up as he went along but it was beginning to sound so good he was almost believing it himself. Soun Tendo was leaning against the railing in front of the panda exhibit. "How I suffer for you, my old friend." The panda just held up a sign. [You don't know the half of it.] The female panda was getting more aggressive by the minute. "Euoooo. If they start mating, I'm going to be sick." Yuka grimaced. The head zoo keeper was about to flatly refuse to release the panda when one of his assistants came running up. "You're not going to believe what happened, sir." the man gasped. "The police say a couple of farmers up in the hills were mauled by a panda two hours ago." "A panda?" the head zoo keeper protested. "But all our pandas are locked up here. Must be a mistake." "No mistake, sir. The two farmers were trying to put a collar and leash on the panda when it attacked." "May I have *my* panda now?" Jeff asked impatiently. "I'm losing the light and have a tight shooting schedule." The head zoo keeper kept looking between his assistant, Jeff, and the pandas in his enclosure, vainly hoping someone would tell him what to do. "Can you prove this panda belongs to you?" he finally asked. Jeff just signaled Mr. Tendo to do his thing. Soun Tendo put on a masterful performance of what he thought a movie animal trainer should look like. It was corny, it was strange, but it seemed to work. Finally, asking Mr. Saotome in Japanese, if he wanted to go home, the group was immediately rewarded with a pair of signs that read: [Are you kidding?] and [Get me out of here!]. With that, Mr. Saotome was a free man...er, panda. On the way back to the hotel, Jeff had the driver drop himself and Ranma off at a police station. No sense being a hunted man, it would be better to get all this out of the way now. It was a struggle to keep Nabiki from going with Jeff. She kept repeating that if her husband-to-be was going to jail, she wanted to be there to plead for him. Jeff assured her and the rest that nothing of the sort was going to happen. He was just going to make a police report of his own about the series of incidents that have occurred since they got to Hawaii. As the limo drove off, Ranma just shook his head looking at Jeff. "It won't work, you know." he said with mild disgust. "The police never believe the truth." "Maybe, but we gotta try." Jeff replied as they walked into the imposing facility. "If the attempts were just on myself, I could deal with them. But they're going after Nabiki too, and *that* I cannot let continue." Ranma looked at Jeff with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. Getting the police involved was quite outside his experience. He would have just taken matters into his own hands and dealt with the situation, man-to-man. "Would you do any different if it was Akane?" Jeff asked. Ranma abruptly stopped walking and stared at Jeff. He had dealt with many different assailants back in Japan and always came out the victor. But there he was only faced with persons armed with simple weapons or magic spells. They were skillfully used, to be sure, but still were things he was familiar with. Here Jeff was faced with guns and bombs, not something you could easily defend against. Perhaps, Jeff-san was correct after all. If it *were* Akane, Ranma would probably do the same thing. Jeff strode up to the front desk and asked for the duty sergeant. Moments later a tough looking veteran of almost 30 years of police work waddled up to the other side of the desk and asked Jeff what he wanted. "My name is Jeff Lawrence and I wish to report several attempts on my life." Jeff was both formal and direct. The sergeant took down all the information Jeff provided but continued to look skeptical throughout the interview process. "So let me see if I've got this straight." he began. "The first attempt on your life was the limousine." "Correct." "But instead of you, they got your father-in-law, right?" "Well, yes." "And the second was your hotel room." "Also, correct." "But instead of you, they blew up the young man standing next to you; your best man, right?" "Ah, yeah." "Finally, they tried to kill your fiance in a dress shop." "That's right." "But they missed entirely and got only the building instead." "Uh-huh." "Mr. Lawrence, It would appear that being anywhere near you could be rather hazardous to a person's health." the sergeant said crossing his arms and leaning on the desk. "Furthermore, we have no evidence of foul play here." He waved at the paperwork before him. "Brakes *do* fail on cars. The fire department concluded that it wasn't *your* room that blew up at the hotel but rather the one below yours. And finally, the Dress Shop explosion has been blamed on a gas leak." He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. "It would seem to me that you are taking all these little accidents a little too personally. Perhaps, you're just jittery because of your wedding in three days. You know, some guys will look for any excuse to avoid getting married if they are beginning to have second thoughts." Jeff bristled at the suggestion that all this was just his imagination and he was just looking for a way to duck the wedding. "Look! In the first place, three 'coincidences' are a little too familiar for my taste. The brake lines were obviously cut, the bomb was under *my* room, and the gas line could have been broken by someone wishing to harm my fiance. And secondly, I'm *not* having second thoughts about marrying Nabiki." The desk sergeant just gave Jeff a skeptical look. "Let's get out of here." Ranma said pulling on Jeff's arm. "I told you they wouldn't believe the truth." He wasn't following the conversation but could tell by the desk sergeant's look and Jeff's reaction that this visit to the police was a waste of time. "What did he just say?" the desk sergeant demanded standing up. "He said you wouldn't believe the truth." Jeff sarcastically replied. "Look here, young man." the sergeant began shouting as he waived his finger in both their faces. "We cannot go running around chasing every paranoid delusion some young punk wanders in and tells us. I've got six police cars totaled today and ten others with various levels of damage. That doesn't even include the two that are still under water in the harbor. Buster, we deal daily in nothing but truth, justice and the American way." "What'd he say?" Ranma asked Jeff. "He said: 'Shut up. You're wrong.'." Ranma just shrugged. Police are the same everywhere. "Very well, sergeant." Jeff said as he turned to leave. "But I want it on record that I attempted to interest you in a potential murder." "Duly noted, young man. I think you know where the door is." Jeff and Ranma had just reached the front door and opened it when an RPG rocket propelled grenade came flying through the open door, past Jeff and Ranma, across the room, impacting on the back wall of the police station. All in that part of the room were showered with plaster, light fixtures, and assorted debris. The sergeant just stood behind his desk, his mouth open as plaster and dirt covered him. "You can add that to my list of 'coincidences'." Jeff yelled as he pulled Ranma through the door. The sergeant just mumbled something about how there just might be some substance to Jeff's paranoia. Fortunately, the hotel management didn't blame Jeff or Ranma for the bombing. It would appear that it was the work of someone who affixed a bomb to the ceiling of the room below Jeff's. There was little clue as to just who planted the explosive. However, the hotel management and the police wanted very much to talk to the person assigned to that room; a certain Tatewaki Kuno. The entire wedding party were moved to another beach front hotel and quickly settled in to their new rooms. Slowly, Akane approached Ranma's room. As this was the first chance she had to see him alone, there was something she desperately wanted to do; to say to Ranma before retiring for the evening. Once at his door, she hesitated and listened carefully. There was no sound from inside. Half hoping he was not in or asleep, she lightly knocked on the door. "Come in." came Ranma's voice from inside. Cautiously, she opened the door and peeked inside. There, sitting on the bed reading a small book, was her fiance; in his male form and acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened in the last 24 hours. "Can I come in?" she asked meekly. "Yeah, I suppose so." he shifted uncomfortably. He didn't especially like being alone with her anywhere. Being alone with her in a hotel room really made him nervous. Akane closed the door and walked softly over to the bed. "What'cha reading?" she asked. "A book I bought before we left. It's called 'Western Wedding Customs'." he showed the cover to Akane who rocked slightly on her heels, pursing her lips and trying to act nonchalant. "Mind if I look at it with you?" she sat demurely on the bed next to Ranma and started reading over his arm. Ranma wasn't really doing much reading at that point, suddenly aware of Akane's closeness. She slid a little closer, her left breast pressing lightly against his arm, her left arm behind his back bracing herself on the bed. Ranma started sweating. "Isn't that beautiful?" she said pointing to a picture of a couple dressed in white standing before a minister outdoors under an arch of flowers. Slowly she lowered her head until it was resting on Ranma's shoulder. He began sweating harder. Ranma swallowed hard and lost track of what he was reading. Through his arm, he could almost feel her heart beating. He could smell her hair and a hint of...perfume? She never wore perfume. That was *girl* stuff. His mind began to melt with thoughts of her, here, and what they were doing. He turned his head to say something about another picture and found himself looking deeply into Akane's brown eyes. Her chin lifted slightly and her eyes slowly closed. He watched nervously as her lips slowly changed shape. Ranma swallowed hard again. she begged in her mind. he responded. his head slowly descended until he could feel her breath against his cheek. Suddenly, something in his head screamed in panic. What was he doing?!?! Abruptly, she stood up. "Ah...It's awfully hot in here, Akane. Maybe, I better check the air conditioner. They sometimes break in all this heat." he stammered like a kid caught sneaking into a movie for the first time. Ranma's sudden move off of the bed caused Akane to fall over onto her elbows. "Idiot!" she hissed to herself. Anger spurted from every pore of her body as her head whipped around to glare at her 'fiance'. She was about to launch the mother of all flames in his direction when she noticed something about him she had never noticed before; he had moved to the corner of the room. He might be posturing aggressively but symbolically, he was trapped, scared and looking for any way out. she thought with cold satisfaction. She sat up calmly, almost as if what she just went through was the natural order of things. For several seconds, an uncomfortable hush fell over the room. Ranma nervously shifted his position several times in his corner while Akane just sat quietly, hands in her lap, watching him squirm. she thought with a little silent laugh. "Ranma, you can come back and sit down now. I won't bite you." she said with a touch of humor to her voice. "Well, who ever said you would?" he replied, still with that 'scared puppy dog' look on his face. He was trying to put on a brave front but could no longer fool Akane. She now knew the truth. "Okay, I get the hint." she chuckled as she stood up to leave. "You don't have to go, Akane." he said softly from his corner. "If you don't want to, I mean." She opened the door and looked at him for a long time. "No, you need your sleep." she said with a smile. "You've had a rough two days." "Akane." he called as she started to close the door. When she stopped and looked back in, he added: "Thanks... for stopping by, I mean." "No problem, pervert." she answered jokingly. "By the way, can I borrow your book when you're finished. It might tell me just what a Maid-of-Honor is supposed to do in a wedding. We didn't get too much of a rehearsal the other day." "Yeah, I know." he dropped his head slightly and blushed remembering how he missed Nabiki's wedding rehearsal because he was lost. "Sorry." "Just make sure you don't screw up at the wedding." she chided. "Or Nabiki will have your head." "Don't worry about me." he shot back. Her being almost out the door emboldened him and reignited his stubbornness. "You just worry about screwing up yourself, klutz." "Look, you jerk. At least *I* got to the rehearsal." her voice resuming its hardness. Something in his voice seemed to set her off. "You're so immature, Ranma!" She slammed the door as she left. "And you're still an...an...uncute tomboy!" Ranma shouted at the closed door. As Akane stormed down the hall towards her room, a little smile spread over her face. He might still be an immature jerk and a pervert, but he was *her* immature jerk. Besides, she now knew his secret. Ranma got ready for bed mumbling to himself about 'uncute... klutzy tomboy girls.' Still, as he slipped under the covers, she *did* look awfully...kissable tonight. Maybe...someday...maybe they'll... Sleep quickly overtook the Tendo Dojo champion as his exhaustion caught up with him. His dreams that night were of a cute, 16 year old, dark haired martial arts trained girl. Jeff followed Nabiki back to her room. She tried to act if he wasn't there but it was hard to ignore someone his size shadowing her down the hall. As she unlocked the door to her room, Jeff casually leaned against the wall, trying to look nonchalant. "Good night, Jeff." Nabiki said firmly as she stepped through the doorway. "Aw, it's a different hotel." he pointed out as he slid towards the open door. "With the same rules." she crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame. It was obvious she wasn't going to give in to him tonight either. "Cold shower?" he asked with a little pout. "Hmmmm. Maybe not tonight. Wait here." she disappeared into her room and shortly returned with a glass of ice water. Before Jeff could say or do anything, she poured the contents over Jeff's head. Both watched as the final rivulets of water drained onto the carpet. "There," she said with a look of satisfaction. "Now you don't have to take a cold shower." "Nope." he softly replied. "Didn't work." "Ah, I see. You're suffering from Groomis-itus." she sounded like a doctor diagnosing a sick patient. "Do you still...ah...burn?" She leaned forward with big eyes. "You could say that." Jeff bent over to match her look. "Well, I guess there's only one thing to do." She reached down to the floor inside her room and produced an ice bucket swimming with half melted ice. Swirling the ice around in the bucket, she advanced menacingly. "Hey! I'm cured. Really." Jeff held up his hands and retreated backwards slowly. Without a word, Nabiki continued to stalk her fiance with the bucket, swirling the contents as she came. As Jeff increased his retreat, Nabiki increased her advance. It was only a question of when she would choose to strike. Jeff was practically sprinting backwards, always careful to keep his eye on the bucket. He should have looked where he was going. Soun Tendo had the bad timing of opening his door and starting to step into the hall just as Jeff and Nabiki were passing. Nabiki chose to strike an instant before her father stepped out of his room. As Jeff tripped over Soun's foot and landed on his back, Soun wound up getting the full treatment from his daughter. Drenched with ice water, Soun Tendo just stood in his wet pajamas staring at his middle daughter, his face typically absent of expression. It was all too much for Jeff as he began rolling on the wet floor laughing. Nabiki dropped the bucket, her hands flew to her mouth trying to cover her look of total shock at what she had just done. "D..Daddy! Oh I'm sorry. I was just..." Nabiki tried to explain but, then, what could she say? Soun looked first at Jeff laughing and rolling on the floor, then at his daughter who was recovering from her shock and starting to giggle uncontrollably. All this noise had the effect of drawing everyone else on the floor out of their rooms. Kasumi arrived with a large towel. "Thank you, daughter," Soun said with all the dignity he could muster, his hand out. However, the towel wasn't for him. With typical Japanese resolution, the eldest Tendo daughter dropped to her knees and started mopping up the water from the carpet. This only caused Jeff and Nabiki to laugh harder. "Honestly," Kasumi chastised whoever would listen. "If you want to play with water, go outside." Soun disappeared for a moment back into his room only to return with a bucket of his own. So many deserving targets and only one bucket. With a tiny smile, he splashed the contents of his bucket on the person who started all this, his middle daughter. Nabiki squealed when the cold water hit her, a look of total surprise on her face. "Father!" Kasumi said with a cross look. "Now I'll have to mop up *that* spot too..." She never got a chance to finish as Akane, seeing the situation developing, dumped a whole bucket over her oldest sister. In seconds, the entire Tendo family was engaged in a water fight that would go down in the history of the hotel as the 'Night the Japanese Tried to Drown Hawaii'. No one was spared, not the daughters, not Jeff, not even the night manager who tried to break it up before he lost his job. Soon, everyone on the floor was throwing water; Jeff, the Tendos, tourists, and even complete strangers were having an old fashioned pillow fight with buckets of water and enjoying themselves completely. In the middle of all this, Ranma sleepily opened his door to complain about the noise. Akane took that opportunity to totally soak her fiance before he could step out into the hall. What finally emerged was a spitting mad red-headed female yelling about 'uncute tomboys'. All the while Akane was laughing at Ranma-chan's reaction. Jeff tried to crawl away but was quickly attacked by all the Tendo sisters, the last, Nabiki, finishing with a sharp kick in his pants. Totally, drowned Jeff tried to surrender but quickly discovered the fight included a 'no prisoners' clause and was promptly drowned again by an unknown elderly female tourist. Twenty minutes later, it was all over. It looked like a battle ground. Bodies were everywhere, twitching with laughter. Somehow, Akane wound up with her wet head in Ranma-chan's lap. "Feeling better?" she chirped. "This," Ranma-chan chuckled. "Is the best. Thanks, Akane." The young couple actually hugged like two kids who just finished playing. It may have been the female form of Ranma, but Akane knew it was really her fiance that was behind the hug and she enjoyed every second of it. Nabiki helped Jeff to his feet. "Still need a cold shower?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye. "Nope. I think I'm fixed until *after* the wedding, thank- you-very-much." Jeff replied shaking water off his arms. They hugged for a few seconds before both squished their way back to their own rooms. Only Genma Saotome missed the fight. Sleeping soundly, he never knew what he missed. On the other hand, his presence would have been hard to explain after the first bucket of water hit him. Kasumi, wiping her wet hair out of her eyes, surveyed the drenched hallway. "This will take all night to... aw, to heck with it. I'm going to bed." She returned to her room, a tiny smile on her face, as the rest of the combatants roared with laughter. The next morning Jeff would be asked to pay for the damages in exchange for no charges and a promise of no more trouble but he didn't care. That night, they came together as a family. Jeff was officially a Tendo now. The next three days went quickly and quietly. The fact that the Honolulu Police had taken an active interest in the case and assigned plain clothes police to shadow Jeff and Nabiki might have had something to do with it. In addition, Jeff's father got the State Department interested because his son was of a diplomatic family. >From the State Department, the news spread to the FBI. An attempt had been made on a family member of the foreign service inside the territory of the United States. As that must have included crossing state lines or possibly foreign nationals, they became interested. Within 24 hours, no fewer than 7 government agencies, including the Defense Department, had agents in Hawaii looking for whomever tried to kill the wedding couple. In short, the law enforcement community was actually getting in each other's way trying to investigate, protect, or just keep tabs on both Jeff and Nabiki. Blissfully ignorant of all this, everyone in the wedding party went about their normal affairs, quite unaware that they were being followed by better security than usually provided a visiting head of state. Still, the wedding preparations went forward. Nabiki and her friends had to find another dress store to replace all the wedding dresses that were destroyed when Mr. Moto's shop blew up. The guys finally got fitted in their tuxes. Mrs. Lawrence finally got all the arrangements made for the wedding and it actually began to look like the wedding was going to happen as planned. The night before the wedding, the bachelor and bachelorette party luaus were great successes, in spite of the lack of alcohol at each. Jeff and Nabiki were determined that *no one* was going to show up at their wedding hung over. All things considered, it was turning out exactly the way the couple had hoped. The wedding day was truly a gift from the gods. Beautiful blue sky punctuated by fluffy white clouds promised the kind of weather only paradise could offer. Ranma and Akane ate breakfast early so they could go running before having to dress for the wedding. Something was different between them. He seemed to be less likely to taunt and tease her and she wore a constant aura of ease around Ranma. Something quite out of the ordinary. Passing Kasumi on her way to the hotel's restaurant, they cheerfully greeted her and waived as they crossed the hotel lobby. To her mild surprise, Ranma actually held the door for his fiance as they left the hotel. "Maybe they're growing up...finally." she muttered to herself as she smiled and shook her head. Inside, she joined her father and Mr. Saotome at a large booth in the middle of the room. Breakfast was delicious, if decidedly Western. "Excellent meal, right Genma?" Soun Tendo said as he wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Quite so, old friend. I could get used to this very easily." Genma replied as he leaned back rubbing his full belly. Kasumi just picked at her fruit and scowled slightly. Kasumi thought with some despair. Both men quickly picked up on her feelings. "Of course, we wouldn't want to do this *every* morning." Soun commented glancing nervously at his eldest daughter. "Oh...Oh yes." Genma answered casting a quick glance of his own Kasumi's way before grabbing his coffee cup. "That would simply be out of the question. After all, a good martial artist requires a proper *Japanese* breakfast to be at his best." Kasumi knew what they were trying to do and smiled inwardly. "Excellent coffee, ne?" Soun sipped his drink. "True, true, quite good indeed." Genma responded, still glancing Kasumi's way. He was no good at making 'happy talk' for the benefit of others and felt rather awkward trying. Kasumi was the first to notice trouble when they entered. Tatewaki Kuno and his sister, Kodachi, were coming to breakfast. Hushing the men, she bent over slightly, trying to hide her face, hoping, at least, to not be recognized. she thought. Much to her discomfort, the Kuno's took a booth directly next to theirs. Only a short wall and a virtual jungle of plants prevented the two parties from discovering each other. Motioning for the men to lean forward, Kasumi whispered: "The Kuno's just came in and they're right over there." She pointed to the jungle next to their table. "What?" Genma hissed but was quickly silenced by Kasumi's finger to her lips. He quickly nodded and they all listened carefully. "Well, brother dear," Kodachi was smugly annoying, even in the morning. "How many weddings do you have left on your little list?" "Only two, my sharp tongued sibling, I have a good feeling about this day." Holding a butter knife aloft like a bokkan, he added: "Today, I shall put an end to this foolish wedding and teach that rapscallion to run off with my beloved to be surreptitiously joined." "I sincerely hope your are correct this time, brother dear." Kodachi added, a touch of menace in her voice. "Fear not," Kuno was dripping with condescension. "We will find them today." Quickly, Kasumi and the two fathers made a beeline for the door, practically running bent over double to avoid being seen by the Kunos. Once safely in the lobby, Kasumi ordered the two men to action. "I don't know just why these two wish to disrupt Jeff and Nabiki's wedding but we must warn everyone of the danger." she said forcefully. "I'll find Nabiki and tell her." Soun volunteered. "And I'll track down Ranma and Akane." Genma offered as he started for the front doors. "Hurry, both of you. I'll keep an eye on the Kunos until you get back." Kasumi said as she started for a position where she could watch for the uninvited 'guests' without being seen. Mr. Tendo easily found Nabiki and the other girls at the dress shop. Standing on a platform getting some last minute alterations done, Nabiki looked stunning in her wedding dress. So beautiful, that Soun Tendo almost forgot what he came there for. "What do you think, daddy?" Nabiki said turning slightly each way. "Absolutely beautiful, daughter." he answered, his eyes beginning to water. "Not kawaii?" she asked with a little pout. "Kawaii is for unmarried girls, my daughter." Soun choked slightly trying to hold back his tears. "A married woman is beautiful." That seemed to satisfy Nabiki enough to turn to her friends. "See, my poor kawaii little bridesmaids, daddy knows best." Yuka and Sayuri only giggled among themselves. "I know you didn't come all this way just to see me in my wedding dress, daddy." Nabiki prompted. "Ah...oh, yes." Soun Tendo started, shaking himself out of the trance caused by his beautiful daughter. "We may have a little problem, my daughter. The Kunos are here." "So?" Nabiki seemed unconcerned. "Even though they are uninvited, we can make room for a couple more guests in the church. Besides, I'm sure they brought an expensive gift." "More like a cheap toaster." Yuka whispered to her friend as they both giggled again. "I don't think so. We overheard them this morning at breakfast. They intend to disrupt your wedding; perhaps even stop it." "What!?!" Nabiki was shocked. "I don't believe it." "It's true, daughter. Kasumi, Mr Saotome and myself clearly heard them plotting." Nabiki's mind was whirling with possible explanations. She never knew Kuno had such strong feelings for her. Sure, they did some things together. But that was well in the past. Ever since Jeff arrived, she hadn't so much as accepted a phone call from the class president of Furinkan High. "I don't understand this." she said to herself. "It must be that witch Kodachi's doing. She never liked the way I took advantage of her stupid brother." "Nabiki, we've got to tell Jeff about this." Yuka suggested. "NO!" Nabiki stamped her foot. "This is supposed to be MY big day. My wedding. If Jeff knows about the Kunos, he'll have more security there than the Imperial Palace. I will *not* turn my wedding into an armed camp! I will *not* skulk and hide from a couple of baka rich kids." "I don't know, Nabiki..." Sayuri started. "Besides, the idiot Kunos will probably never find the church in the first place. We never publicized the wedding to begin with. How would they even find out where it was being held?" Nabiki gave her two friends a hard look before returning to the fitting. Yuka and Sayuri exchanged glances with Mr. Tendo before shrugging their shoulders. If that's the way she wanted it. Still, a black cloud slipped silently over the festivities. Genma finally caught up with Ranma and Akane. Gasping for breath he placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "What's the matter, pop?" Ranma chided. "Getting soft?" "Ranma, he looks like he's seen a ghost." Akane commented while fanning the older Saotome with her towel. Moments later, Genma caught enough of his breath to convey his news. Akane was visibly upset. she thought. Ranma was openly unconcerned. "I can handle Kuno and his sister." "Well, we better do it *before* the wedding. If they actually show up at the church, the wedding will be a disaster." Akane warned. "She's right, boy." Genma observed, still breathing hard. "They might not be dangerous, but a good martial artist knows when and where to fight and doing it at a religious shrine is not the right place or time." Ranma grew quiet, looking like he was considering his father's advice. Suddenly, he pulled Akane aside and looked at her with the most serious look he had ever used. "What is it, Ranma?" "You remember that book I was reading the other night?" "The one about Western wedding customs?" Ranma nodded, casting a quick glance at his father. "It said that traditionally the best man and the maid of honor were formed to protect the bride and groom. It was an honor that demanded the ultimate sacrifice, if necessary." Akane just blinked and stared at her fiance, trying to comprehend just what he meant by 'ultimate sacrifice'. "Akane, we are honor bound to protect Jeff and Nabiki until the end of the ceremony... with our lives." "Oh, that's ridiculous." she dismissed with a flap of her arms. "It's in the book, Akane." he insisted. "I read it twice to make sure I understood." He paused looking at Akane, determination clearly written all over his face. "Neither of us knew when we agreed to do this. But once we accepted, we are honor bound to fulfill our duties." Akane thought about what Ranma had said for several seconds before responding. After all, it was her sister they were talking about. "You would do this?" she asked her head cocked slightly, one eyebrow raised. "It's what I'm trained for, Akane." His eyes went to the pavement. "I know you think I only think of myself most of the time." He paused as if this was hard for him to admit. "But lately, ..." Akane smiled to herself. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "It you're willing to go up against both the Kunos, then we'll do it together." "Really?" He looked surprised at both the kiss and her willingness to fight *with* him instead of her usual position. "Just don't get in my way, pervert." She chided. "How did I ever get tangled up with such a tomboy?" he asked with a smile. Akane cast a quick glance at his father and smiled back. "Oh, yeah. I remember now." Somehow, all the members of the wedding party made it to the church on time. Mrs. Lawrence was busy scurrying this way and that, making sure everything was in place. It was *her* son's big day too and she wanted everything perfect. Her many years arranging embassy functions stood her well in the completeness of her preparations. Mr. Lawrence joined Mr. Tendo in greeting each of the guests at the door. He, too, had many years of experience at formal receptions and proved a perfect host. The girls were preparing in a large room at the back of the church while the boys drew the minister's small office and study up front. While Kasumi and Akane helped prepare their sister, Yuka and Sayuri kept a watch out the windows, looking for the first sign of trouble, or Kunos, or both. "Nabiki, I've been wondering about something." Kasumi said as she fiddled with her sister's bridal bouquet. "Mother and father were married at home with a traditional Shinto ceremony..." "Oneechan," Nabiki said quietly reaching out to touch her sister's arm. "Jeff and I have already discussed that. When we return to Japan, we were going to surprise you all with just such a ceremony in the family dojo." "Really?" Kasumi's smile was like that of a child being told she would get to go to Disneyland that afternoon. "For mother." Nabiki smiled back. "Besides, I want to wear one of those white silk kimonos." The three sisters shared the humor of seeing Nabiki Tendo, a girl more at home in Western clothes, wearing the ultra-confining traditional Japanese wedding garment. "Anyway, I want to invite all my schoolmates." "Huh?" Akane looked stunned. It was well known that Nabiki wasn't on the best of terms with *any* of her classmates at Furinkan High. "Why them?" "Guests bring money to Japanese weddings, don't they?" Akane and Kasumi exchanged glances and rolled their eyes. Some thing never change. Up front, they guys were nervously preparing. Jeff tried three times to tie his little bow tie without success. "I can't believe I can't do this." he said with an exasperated look on his face. "Having trouble, boy?" Mr. Saotome asked as he approached. Jeff just rubbed his eyes and stared in the mirror. "Mr. Saotome, when you got married, were you so nervous you couldn't even tie your shoelaces?" "Boy, a trained martial artist is always in control of his environment." Jeff's face went through several changes as he tried in vain to figure out what Mr. Saotome meant by that. In desperation, he looked at Ranma for help. Ramna just rolled his eyes and shook his head. He'd heard it all before. "I'm going outside for a little air," he said opening the back door. "Don't go far, the wedding's going to start soon." Jeff advised. Outside, Ranma stretched and looked casually around. He didn't really like the tight confinement of his tuxedo much. If he had to fulfill his 'best man' duties and fight to protect the bride and groom, he would have to shed most of his clothes to be at his best. He was lost in thought, staring at a grove of palm trees nearby, when the attack came. Distracted by his thoughts of duty, he failed to notice the approach of Jeff's 9 year old cousin. The first sign of trouble came when Ranma felt something cold and wet splashing against his neck and trickling down his collar. He immediately spun around, an angry look on his face to confront the assailant; a short blonde boy with a water pistol. At first the kid just grinned mischievously. However, that grin quickly faded. Ranma felt the familiar stirrings that always accompanied his transformations. He fought the urge as hard as he could but it was like trying to mentally halt a hiccup. In seconds, where once stood a tall, dark haired teenaged male, now was a shorter, red-headed, buxom female. For Jeff's cousin, the scene would be repeated for years in his nightmares; and later in his pubescent dreams. For several seconds, his eyes looked like a Tex Avery cartoon character as he stared at the 'male who suddenly became a female'. Dropping his water pistol, he ran as fast as he could, yelling for his mother in a voice that spoke volumes about his panic. Ranma quickly retreated back inside, slamming the door shut behind him...er, her. To all present in the minister's office, the sight of Ranma-chan, disgusted look on her face, standing inside the door signaled the start of a comedy of errors that would characterize this wedding. Jeff's tie took on a less important role. When Ranma-chan related what had happened, Mr. Saotome became visibly upset. "You let a 9 year-old Western child sneak up on you?!?" he yelled. "Oh, where have I failed?" He cast his eyes skyward. Stepping between father and son before they could come to blows, Jeff directed Ranma into the minister's study. There on the hotplate was a copper tea pot, simmering with very warm water. "You planned for this, didn't you?" Ranma-chan was more than a little bit surprised at the preparations Jeff had gone through. Jeff just shrugged and handed Ranma-chan the tea pot. Without a word, Jeff left the room only to return moments later with a dry tuxedo. "Good thing you didn't get drenched," Jeff observed. "I didn't pack any underwear. The sound of a mower outside the church attracted the attention of Reverend Hasakawa. He hurried into the office and looked out the back door to see if he could get the attention of the caretaker. Having no luck, he turned to members of the wedding party and asked if someone would be so kind as to go out and explain the situation to the caretaker. Assured that the man spoke Japanese, Mr. Saotome volunteered. Exiting through the back door, Mr. Saotome looked all around the side of the church but failed to find the man anywhere. Noticing that the mower had stopped, he concluded that the caretaker must have figured out that a wedding was taking place and his mowing would disturb the guests. Mr. Saotome was about to reenter the church when the caretaker, on the other side of the building, decided to water the grass instead. Turning on the underground sprinkler system, Mr. Saotome had no warning before being caught directly in a pulsating stream of water. The result was predictable and, unfortunately, not totally unobserved. Jeff's 9 year-old cousin, having been severely chastened by his mother for making up stories about boys changing into girls and causing a scene, was just returning to look for his water pistol. As he rounded the corner of the church, he came face to face with Mr. Saotome changing into a giant panda. Once again, the boy freaked. Screaming that a man just turned into a giant panda and was trying to get him, he ran frantically for the church lobby. Mr. Saotome, in a panic of his own, dashed for the church's back door. As he was desperately trying to squeeze his oversized body through the tiny door, the caretaker, attracted by the boy's screams, rounded the back of the building and came face to rump with Mr. Saotome's efforts to enter the church. His reaction was not unlike Jeff's cousin's, he ran for the church lobby screaming about wild pandas attacking the church. In the minister's office, Jeff and Ranma were pulling on Mr. Saotome's front paws trying to yank his overstuffed body inside. The sounds of footsteps approaching caused them to redouble their efforts. The last thing they wanted right now was to reveal Mr. Saotome's curse to the world. A final tug and Mr. Saotome spurted into the room. Quickly, Jeff shoved the panda ahead of him into the minister's study and slammed the door shut. Ranma was leaning against the door trying to look unconcerned as Reverend Hasakawa came scurrying into the room. "I just heard that there was a wild animal out back or something. I trust everything is all right here." he said looking at the open back door. "Just fine, sir. No wild animals here. How are you?" Ranma looked guilty as sin but sounded as if nothing were going on. "I'm glad to hear that. Where's Mr. Lawrence and your father?" the minister asked as he closed the back door. Ranma prevaricated long enough for the good reverend to become suspicious about why Ranma was standing in front of the door to his study. "Are they in there?" he asked. "Well...sorta." "Why, I wonder?" "Ah...well they're talking...um...about wedding things." Ranma was even a worse liar than Jeff. "Of course." Reverend Hasakawa looked as if he suddenly had it all worked out. "I understand." "You do?" "Certainly, the boy's nervous about getting married." He leaned in close to Ranma. "I've seen it before. All it usually takes is for an older married man to talk to him for a few moments in private and he calms right down. I thought Mr. Lawrence was acting a bit nervous today." The good reverend chuckled lightly. "Well, I've got to get ready myself. So..." He knocked on the door. It was opened immediately by Jeff. "Yes?" "I just need to retrieve my vestments and prepare for the ceremony, if you don't mind." The reverend pushed his way into the study. Over by his closet, Genma Saotome was just putting on his tuxedo jacket. Smiling at the reverend, Mr. Saotome bowed politely and left the room, casting a quick look at Jeff as he passed. Reverend Hasakawa stepped over to his closet and noticed how wet the floor was. "That's odd." he said looking up at the ceiling. "I thought they fixed that leak in the rood last month." "I'm afraid that's my doing." Jeff admitted, reaching for a roll of paper towels. "It happened when we tried to make some tea to calm me down." He laughed self-consciously. "That's okay, young man. I understand. I'll clean it up later." The reverend opened the closet. To Jeff's relief, he opened the side opposite where Jeff had stashed all the wet tuxedos. Excusing himself, Jeff scurried out the door and rejoined Ranma and Mr. Saotome. It had been close but no real damage had been done. Now, if he could just keep them dry... Unfortunately, events were already set in motion. The caretaker, using the phone in the lobby had just called the police. As the service started, Reverend Hasakawa emerged from the back room and led Jeff and Ranma out to their positions at the front of the church. Mr. Saotome took his place in the pews, uncomfortably trying to adjust collar of his replacement tuxedo. Mr. Lawrence and his wife joined Mr. Saotome in the front row and anxiously awaited the arrival of the bride. Kasumi led the procession. Dressed in a pastel pink dress, she proudly demonstrated her quiet class and dignity all the while attracting the approving looks from the six Marine friends of Jeff who were able to make it to the wedding. At the front of the church, Kasumi bowed deeply to Reverend Hasakawa. While not in the traditional order of service, it was a Japanese-American wedding. The girls decided to improvise. Akane came next in a matching pink dress that showed to everyone present just how much of a girl she was. Ranma, especially, stared with a strange look on his face as she demurely paraded her feminine qualities. Whatever he was thinking, it couldn't have been that she was a tomboy or even uncute. Noticing him looking at her, Akane blushed deeply as she bowed and made the turn at the front of the church. With the organ playing the 'Wedding March', Nabiki on the arm of her father, began the long trek to the altar. Her magnificent white wedding dress was scooped just enough so that everyone could see the tip of her 'promise tanto' through the modest lace mesh of her bodice, its silver glistening in the lights of the room. Even Reverend Hasakawa was impressed. Having done hundreds of Japanese-American weddings, had never seen a bride proudly honoring one of the oldest Japanese wedding customs. The train of her dress would have looked right at home in the movie 'Sound of Music', its length being almost 15 feet long. Someone at the dress shop had jokingly remarked that the length of a brides train indicated how long she hoped the marriage would last. Nabiki was taking no chances and ordered the longest train the dress shop could make. Yuka and Sayuri brought up the rear carrying the train. At the front of the church, Soun Tendo halted and, crying freely, symbolically released his daughter to join her new husband. She hesitated long enough to turn to her father and smile. Soun Tendo saw before him the little girl who played in the yard out back, the young girl who endured the death of her mother, and finally the teenager who had grown into a woman. Like millions of fathers before him, he was releasing his little girl from his protection to that of someone else. He cried like never before. With a small bow, he moved with ease to his place on the front row. Nabiki turned to Jeff and smiling shyly, moved to stand next to her husband. Both were sweating heavily in the air conditioned chapel. As the organ concluded its music, the minister began reading from his book in Japanese. "Dearly beloved..." he began. Actually, that's all the further he got as the doors in the back of the church burst open and two policemen followed by four zookeepers stumbled in. Announcing that everything was under control, one of the police officers stated that they were here because they had received a report of a panda coming in the back door of the church. For some reason, everyone in the wedding party looked at Mr. Saotome. Reverend Hasakawa assured the men that he had just come from the back rooms and saw no pandas there. The police and zookeeper apologized for the inconvenience and left quietly to search the grounds outside. The church quickly settled down, and the good reverend resumed the wedding service. This time he almost got to the part where he asks Nabiki if she 'takes this man to be her lawfully wedded husband', when the doors in the back burst open a second time. After five days of searching, Tatewaki Kuno finally got one right. "My darling Akane, it is I, Tatewaki Kuno, your knight, your protector, your samurai of love. I hereby demand this wedding cease and desist." he was waiving around a broom handle substitute for his confiscated bokkan. Jeff and Nabiki slowly turned to face the 'Raging Idiot of Japan'. Nabiki raised her vail with a 'I can't believe this is happening' look on her face. Kuno should have considered himself lucky Jeff was unarmed at this point. While Jeff wasn't the best shot in the world, he could have clearly emptied an entire clip in Kuno's direction right now without a single regret. Akane was practically vibrating with anger. She had put up with his nonsense for almost a year and had finally had enough. "Kuno, you idiot! This is not *my* wedding, it's Nabiki's wedding! How dare you yell in here! This is a holy place AND YOU SHOULD NOT YELL IN A HOLY PLACE!!!!!" Her voice seemed to echo off the surrounding hills. This appeared to have the desired affect not only on Kuno, who was frozen in place with eyes the size of saucers, but just about everyone else as well. It was so quiet in the church, you could hear the wood age. The only exceptions to this were six fellows quite used to loud noises, after all, they once survived a day at the firing range with Nabiki. Jeff's Marine friends quickly surrounded the would-be samurai, giving him a first-hand feeling of what it must have been like on Iwo Jima. Faced with having to endure similar results if he didn't do as he was told, Kuno chose to sit quietly and enjoy the rest of the wedding. After all, it wasn't his lovely Akane getting married, just that annoying Nabiki. He made a mental note to send a suitable gift after he got back; perhaps a toaster or something. "Well, that's one." Nabiki muttered softly. Apparently not soft enough as Jeff turned to her and asked: "Is there something you should be telling me?" In her best Elisabeth Montgomery voice, she answered: "Well..." Reverend Hasakawa restarted the ceremony got, this time, to the part where the rings were exchanged when the next interruption occurred. Coming through the same doors Kuno had used, the Black Rose of St. Hebereke announced her arrival. "Ranma, darling." Kodachi Kuno screeched, her arms wide. "Why settle for this scrawny clumsy, tomboy when you can have a real *woman*?" Akane looked unimpressed. Ranma, on the other hand, looked like someone just offered him some of Akane's cooking. Jeff turned back to Nabiki, a disgusted look on his face. "Number two?" he asked. "Number two." she replied, before adding a shrug. Not everyone was taking Kodachi's interruption calmly. Mrs. Lawrence, frustrated over all of her intricate preparations being thwarted by so many unplanned interruptions, suddenly stood up, slammed her purse to the floor and shouted: "That's IT!" With a determination only a mother could possess, Mrs. Lawrence stomped towards the intruder. Everyone's attention was suddenly drawn to Jeff's mom instead of Kodachi. Too bad, or they would have noticed that, feeling threatened by the advancing Mrs. Lawrence, Kodachi had drawn her deadly ribbon. By the time anyone noticed, she was swirling it in a menacing fashion. Suddenly, everything began to move in ultra slow motion. Akane and Ranma, knowing full well the danger posed by Kodachi's ribbon, started their move towards the Kuno girl. However, Akane was experiencing a few problems caused by her long dress and high heels while Ranma was experiencing the same due to his tight fitting tuxedo. The Marines, clustered around the earlier intruder to guarantee his cooperation, were just starting their move; hopping pews as only combat trained Marines could. Jeff, not knowing just how dangerous Kodachi's ribbon was, sensed that she had the capability to injure his mother; perhaps even worse. Instinctively, he felt in his inside pocket for something he never went anywhere without. He quickly found it, a throwing star given to him by Master Sato. It was the finest ninjutsu weapon of its kind ever forged. Handed down through untold number of generations, it was balanced like no other and so aerodynamically perfect it would fly the truest of any shuriken in existence. Jeff could still hear Master Sato's warning: "This weapon has served it's masters since the time of the last unification. It will *always* strike true. However, you must *never* use it unless a life is in danger. To do otherwise could have catastrophic affects far beyond the incident itself." He never elaborated on just what 'catastrophic affects' meant, but judging by the reactions of Ranma and Akane to Kodachi's ribbon, he was certain his mother's life was now in the balance. Unfortunately, events were occurring faster than even the most trained martial artist could react to. Before Jeff, Ranma, Akane, or the Marines could intervene, Kodachi struck. With a snap of her wrist, the deadly ribbon began its lightning assault. Nothing could stop its attack. Nothing was going to protect Jeff's mom now. What happened next, only Kodachi and Ranma had ever seen. With a hand motion faster than the human eye could follow, Mrs. Lawrence calmly snatched the striking ribbon out of the air and pulled it taut. The reaction by Kodachi was stunned surprise. An old lady actually caught her ribbon in full strike. Impossible! The reaction of the rest of the defenders was almost as disarming as Kodachi's; Akane and Ranma skidded to a halt in astonishment, the Marines stopped their head-long charge to watch, and Jeff, only a heartbeat from launching his deadly projectile, went into panicked indecision. Actually, Mrs. Lawrence did something on her own. With a sudden sharp yank on the ribbon, she drew the stunned girl the remaining 8 feet to within arms length. That was all she needed, with another move to fast to follow, Mrs. Lawrence's right hand shot forward and closed around the, now terrified, girl's throat. Caught in a vise-like grip, Kodachi saw her life pass before her eyes; it was *not* a pretty sight. "Young lady," Jeff's mom calmly said. "This is my only son's special day; the day he pledges his life to the girl he loves more than anything in the world." Jeff and Nabiki glanced quickly at each other. "You are welcome to join us and celebrate this union. If you are good, you may even join us later for some wedding cake." Her grip tightened slightly as the emotion of her next thought surged forward. "However, if you persist in trying to disrupt my son's wedding, I'M GOING TO DROP-KICK YOUR LITTLE BLACK ROSE ASS ALL THE WAY TO GUAM!" Wisely, Kodachi agreed (well, she vibrated her head vertically and it *looked* like an agreement). Mrs. Lawrence relieved the girl of her ribbon, tippy toed her over to a seat next to her brother and set her down like a Bunraku puppet. "Way to go, sis." Kuno hissed sarcastically. Further conversation was cut of by the return of the Marines. In spite of the fact they were trained to protect important people, they had been thwarted twice in one day. This, understandably, left them in an ugly mood. As for Mrs. Lawrence, she quietly smoothed her dress, patted her hair to check for anything out of place, and calmly walked back to her seat. All eyes in the place followed her in total silence. Picking up her purse, she resumed her seat in a most lady-like fashion and smiled sweetly at her son. "Mom,...How...?" Jeff stammered. "Well, dear. You didn't think you were Mr. Sato's *only* student, did you?" Jeff and Nabiki traded stunned looks. Nabiki, still holding her veil up with her arm, developed a tiny smile at the thought of being related to such a woman. Once again, the good reverend restarted the service and, while still glancing around for the next interruption, actually got to the part that said: "You may now kiss the bride." As the couple kissed, Mrs. Lawrence cried, Kasumi cried, and Mr. Tendo flooded the carpet. Akane, misty eyed and clearly caught up in the emotion of the situation, looked over at Ranma who was watching Jeff and Nabiki kiss. Something told him he was being watched and he quickly locked eyes with Akane. To Akane, Ranma looked handsome in his tuxedo, even though she could tell he would rather be wearing something else. As she stared at him, she put herself in Nabiki's place, standing before a minister, with a willing Ranma, kissing after being pronounced man and wife. The thought caused her to smile through her happy tears. Ranma couldn't help looking at Akane. Catching himself, he smiled slightly and stuck out his tongue her direction. Akane just shook her head and looked away. she thought. The recession went without incident. Ranma reluctantly offered his arm to Akane. Gleefully, she accepted and hung on happily as they quickly made their way out of the church. Kasumi escorted Mr. Lawrence and a still sobbing Soun Tendo was escorted by the surprising Mrs. Lawrence. Yuka drew the assignment of escorting Mr. Saotome while Sayuri tended Nabiki's long train. Outside, the crowd threw the customary rice as Jeff and Nabiki started towards their waiting limousine. They didn't get far. Without warning, the sound of a burst of gun fire, ripped through the wedding party's joy. Everyone froze to see a short male, dressed in chauffeurs clothing, holding an AK47 pointed at the wedding couple. "Is pity, you wouldn't die in an accident." Montgomery Phillips said when the wedding party quieted down. "I hate having to do these things in person." "So you're behind all those accidents'" Jeff accused. "No accidents. Just lousy help. You get what you pay for, you know." Monty shifted his weapon slightly to center on Jeff. "I guess the moral of all this is to always hire the best." "Why are you doing this?" Jeff asked. "Have to." Monty shrugged. "You stand between me and what I deserve." "The money." "Of course, the money, you simpleton." Monty yelled. Looking at Nabiki briefly, Jeff said: "Let the girls go, Monty. It's me you want. They don't even speak English." "I can't do that." Monty chuckled cruelly. "They could still pick me out of a lineup." He waved the weapon menacingly. "Besides, that little Jap geisha of yours would still inherit everything." He sneered at Nabiki. "It's perfect, you see. I'm not really here. I have people who'll swear I'm currently gambling in Los Vagus." Jeff fingered the shuriken in his pocket. He knew the star wouldn't strike Monty before he could fire his weapon. He also knew he would be Monty's first target. Still, if he could get one good strike in before Monty fired, one of the others could finish him off and the majority would be saved. Another of Master Sato's sayings echoed through his brain: 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.' Well, maybe not Sato. Maybe, it was from that old 'Star Trek' movie he watched the other night. Kuno was slid slowly behind one of the Marines. he thought. Ranma was glaring at the two assassins, every muscle in his body tense. Akane nudged him and whispered: "Our duty?" "Hai" was his clipped reply. "Then together." Ranma looked briefly at Akane and saw the determination in her eyes. It was her sister she was protecting; a worthy sacrifice. He just nodded his reply. Before either could begin their foolhardy endeavor, all parties concerned were stunned when a Kawanga grapple seemed to come out of nowhere, entangle the weapon and yank it out of Monty's rubber gloved hands. With blinding bursts of Mienaku Soru smoke bombs, two figures dressed in black suddenly appeared. Twirling a favorite shadow warrior weapon, the Manriki-Gusari, a short chain weapon with blunt weights at each end, the figures advanced. Monty's eyes burned with hatred. These black clad clowns were spoiling his chance at untold riches, and he simply hated anyone who got between him and his fortune. Simultaneously, both figures threw their weapons with practiced skill. Binding, first the arms then the legs, together securely. In a single strike, Montgomery Phillips was now captured and neatly packaged for the police. As if by magic, but actually employing the skills learned over a life time, a third figure appeared. "Master Sato!" Jeff shouted. "I knew you wouldn't miss my wedding." "Miss the wedding of my adopted son?" he asked incredulously. "Unthinkable. Besides, I had to make sure you were properly... protected." Nabiki was examining the two figures dressed in black, standing apart and behind the master. One wore a black Hachimaki around his head that bore a clan crest she had never seen before. But the other's Hachimaki was blood red in color and proudly bearing a crest she knew well, the Clan of the Cold Moon. she thought with emotion. She caught the eye of her clan's shadow warrior. Something about her clansman didn't look right. While the other was stocky and solidly built, her's looked slighter and more...feminine. Nabiki suddenly realized as the two locked eyes. Nabiki resisted the urge to run over and rip off the mask that covered the lower half of the warriors face. She *had* to know who this person was; to talk to her; to hear more of her mother's clan. Suddenly, finding out who this person was took on position of paramount importance. To everyone's surprise, including Master Sato's, the female ninja spoke. "We will meet again, Nabiki-senpai." she said matter-of-factly before turning and springing into the woods behind her. "What did she mean by that?" Jeff asked his wife as she watched her clan warrior disappear. Nabiki wore a little smile, like the one she used when she was about to embark on a new business deal. "I will explain everything tonight." she said with only a sideways glance at her husband. Off in the distance, they could hear the sound of many sirens approaching. Jeff looked at Master Sato who only smiled and asked: "Do you remember your lesson?" while forming a complicated intertwining of his fingers. "Allies come in many forms; all should be used." Jeff muttered. Master Sato nodded and disappeared along with his shadow warrior. Jeff knew he would see both again. The arrival of the Honolulu Police, the FBI, and several other law enforcement agencies turned the church parking lot into a police convention. Somehow, through it all, Jeff and Nabiki managed to have a normal getaway to the reception. From the open roof of the limousine, Nabiki cocked her arm to throw the bouquet. Yuka, Sayuri, and Kasumi joined about a half a dozen of Jeff's unmarried female relatives, eagerly awaiting the throw. Akane stood strangely to the back of the group, acting as if she were unconcerned with the tradition. "Whomever catches this will be the next to marry." Nabiki shouted as she let the bouquet fly. It bounced through the hands of several girls before landing in Akane's lap. Holding the flowers up with a questioning look, she glanced at Nabiki. "You're next, little sis." she chirped as the limousine started to pull away. Akane just hugged the bouquet and looked at Ranma with an odd expression on her face. Ranma immediately interpreted it for what it was; the old ball and chain. With a look of panic he yelled: "No way, Akane!" and bolted for safety. "Ranma no baka!" Akane yelled as she started her pursuit. The reactions of the remaining wedding guests were mixed: "We're related to them?" "Children." "I can see the wedding had no affect on the boy." "My daughter is a married woman [sniff]." "Oh, dear. Here we go again."