songokuu@alpha2.csd.uwm.edu (Christopher Joseph Tomsyck) It was a cold and dreary day in Wisconsin. The sun had not been shining for, I don't know how long. Like the weather, my general mood was really lousy. Racing home through the rain, I almost missed the mail in the mailbox. There were several letters, mostly for my parents, and one for me. Since reading dry mail is always a good thing, I hurried into the house. After ditching my coat and shoes at the door, I tossed the mail onto the kitchen table and finished putting away my stuff. I wondered who I could be getting mail from. Usually my mail consisted of offers to join the Armed Forces or other junk mail. My spirits improved greatly when I read the return address on the letter: Caroll College Culture Exchange Program. Finally! At long last, the letter that I had been waiting for had arrived! I raced upstairs to open my letter. I was nervous as I cut open the envelope, I was almost ready to explode....Finally, with the letter open before me, I read it. "....Congratulations Mr. Conley, you have been accepted to participate in the cultural exchange program. You have been granted your request to go to Japan, however, your other option of Mexico is still...." Wai wai! I got in! I was going to Japan! I read on.... "....you have been assigned a family stay of 1 year (cool!) You will be staying in Toukyou, specifically Nerima Ward, in the home of Souun Tendou. Mr. Tendou is the owner of the Tendou Martial Arts School, and is a master of the kenpo style or karate and judou. His family consists of three daughters; Kasumi, 19; Nabiki, 17; and Akane, 16. Also living in his household are Genma Saotome and his only son, Ranma, 16." I thought to myself, this could be fun...no, this WILL be fun! Three weeks later, I was getting on a plane on a trip that would change my life forever.... Adventures of a Foreign Exchange Student 2 chapter one: ganbare da zo! ore wa pat desu! (here i come! i am Pat) "Ame da," I mused as the plane taxied it's way to the terminal at Toukyou International Airport. I wondered what my host family would be like. I then pulled out a letter that i received from Mr. Tendou's daughter, Akane. "we will pick you up at the airport, so don't worry. I will be there, along with Ranma, Mr. Saotome's son. Take care and I hope to see you soon....Akane Tendou." "she seems nice, " I thought. After a brief pause, the flight attendant informed us that we could now disembark and go into the terminal. The time for thinking was up, Time to get on the this new adventure I was in. I made my way through the crowded terminal, looking for any sign of Akane or Ranma. Boy, and I thought that O'Hare in Chicago was crowded! Thank God most of the signs were written in English. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "at least now I can practice my kanji reading." After a few moments of confusion, I heard two distinct voices rise above the rest of the clamor in the terminal. The voices belonged to two girls, who were argueing at the top of their lungs. "You sexless tomboy! why did you let me get wet?" "Oh shut up Ranma! It's not my fault that a car splashed you!" "Ranma....hmmm...." that is Mr. Saotome's son's name. After listening to the two girls bicker some more, I set off in the direction of their voices. "Ranma, if i had half a mind...." "It would be more than what you got now..." "Shut up you pervert!" I came upon the source of the commotion to find two girls fighting, as I had heard from the other end of the terminal. One of the girls was a red-head and the other a black-haired girl, gripping a large hammer. I was shocked (to say the least) by this, but I composed myself and spoke to them. "excuse me, are you Tendou Akane and Saotome Ranma?" Both girls in unison said, "eh?" after a short pause, the black haired girl spoke up. "Yes, I am Akane Tendou, and this is Ranma." "hajimemashite, ore wa Pat desu," i responded in the best japanese i could muster. And as nervous as I was, I sounded very unsure. Akane and Ranma take turns looking confused, finally Ranma spoke up, "you know japanese?" "only a little," i responded, "and even then, it really isn't very good. i hope to learn more while in Japan" Ranma had a very bored expression on her face, "come on lets quit with the talking and get move on...." "Oh, your bags," said Akane. Then I realized that I left them on the baggage carousel back by the terminal. Ranma and Akane took my bags, bags i had trouble with, and carried them to the car waiting in front. As I got into the car, Akane said, "Pat, this is my oneechan, Kasumi." Kasumi turned to face me and greeted me politely. "...um....um....ah! Yoroushikunee Kasumi-oneechan," I responded to her in my still nervous voice. So far, I had been in Japan for a total of 15 minutes, and I had met three very cute girls. If the rest of my trip is like this, I'll never learn anything. When Ranma had finished loading my luggage into the car's trunks, she hopped into the front with Kasumi. "Ikuzo neechan," Ranma said as she fastened her seat belt. So far so good, I was in Japan and so far, so good.... TO BE CONTINUED...... next chapter.... Ranma no Himitsu.....(Ranma's Secret) Author's Note: I am trying to make this story as realistic as possible, by telling it from my point of view. There are many advantages to being an author, like making yourself the hero/main character. Anyway, all of the chaos of the Ranmaverse will be there, as seen through the eyes of an above average exchange student. Throughout the course of the story, my character will meet, date, and get beaten up by a majority of the cast, especially the get beaten up part. But unlike the previous Adventures of a Forieng Exchange Student, the main character will not be all- powerful. He does, however, train as a part of the story, so he does gain some measure of power, and self-confidence. I hope you all like it. Pat Conley special thanks to Chris Tomsyck for posting this for me (thanks Chris) ^_^ Adventures of a Foreign Exchange Student 2 Chapter 2: Ranma's Little Secret The ride back to the Tendou house was pleasant. I spent most of the time talking with Kasumi and Akane, Ranma, was strangely silent. Given the rush over traffic and the rain, it took us 40 minutes to get home, but it was an enjoyable ride. I was drilled by Akane about all sorts of typical teenager questions, mostly dealing with American stars and music. I answered them as best I could, given that I was a college student. Kasumi, for her part, asked my about my home life, school, future plans, that sort of stuff. Ranma, did not ask anything, and spent most of the time playing with the radio. "Oneechan," I said to Kasumi, "can I put this tape in? At least it will stop Ranma from flipping the station every few seconds." "Chotto matte," Ranma interrupted, "what sort of music is it?" "Music from the anime Sailor Moon S," I responded. "Hmmpf, a grown boy like you watching a little girls show...." Ranma muttered, only to get whacked by Akane. "Ranma! Mind your manners. After all, he is our guest." Ranma proceeded to put in the tape and pouted the rest of the way home. Kasumi smiled one of those cheery smiles and commented on what great friends Ranma and I were becoming. When we finally arrived at the Tendou, the rain had let up and the sun was starting to poke through the clouds. Akane and Kasumi's father, Souun, was waiting for us as we drove up. Mr. Tendou was tall and thin, with long black hair. He was wearing a grey karate gi with a black belt. Like his daughter, Kasumi, he radiated calm, but something about him made me suspect that there was more to him than met my eye. Mr. Tendou was followed out of the house by a huge panda, who opened up the mail box and took in the evening paper. I turned to Akane, but she assured me that this was normal. I had my doubts, but I took Akane's word for it. After introductions were done and over with, Ranma grunted and heaved all my luggage on her back and carried it up to my room. Needless to say, i was shocked. When we got into the house, I was issued a pair of slippers, as Souun explained to me, it is impolite to wear shoes in the house. I thanked him and asked Akane to show me where Ranma had taken my bags. Akane proceeded to give me a tour of the house. First Stop on the tour was the doujou. I was not too surprised by the doujou, Akane had told me about it on the ride over. Nice, smooth, hardwood floor, paper screens, it was really nice. As we turned to tour the rest of the house, a shrill squeal sounded. From around the corner, a little pot-bellied pig with a yellow bandanna around it's neck came running. It jumped into Akane's arms and gently nuzzled her bosom. "Oh P-chan, you're soaked!" Akane cried to the little pig. "P-chan?" I asked, staring at the pig. "P is for pig, chan is for little," Akane answered. "Bweeee buki!" P-chan, squealed, as he eyed me. If it was not for the fact that it was a pig, I could swear he was looking at me with jealousy in mind. "Thanks Akane, I'll try to find my room now and unpack." "Hai! Dinner will be ready in an hour or so." "Sou yo, that will be enough time for me to take a bath too." Akane disappeared down the hallway with P-chan. I turned and headed back upstairs to my room. The room was about the same size as my room back at home, so I had little trouble unpacking my junk. After I had unpacked, I grabbed some clothes I had tossed into a pile on the floor and a towel and headed off to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, I found that the tub was already ready to go. Nice and hot, just the way I liked it. I piled the clothes and towel on a rack next to the tub and got in. I had almost fallen asleep in the tub, when i heard one of the sliding doors open. I looked though the glass door surrounding the tub to see who was there. Since the glass was smokey and rather opaque, I only saw the shape and color of who had entered. And to my surprise, it was Ranma. Ranma was casually undressing herself to get into the tub, not that I was staring, gawking maybe, but hardly staring. Finally, she pulled the door to the tub back, and there we were.... After the initial shock wore off of me, I began to scramble for cover. "RANMA! DO YOU MIND!?!?!?! I am trying to take a bath!" I shouted nearly at the top of my lungs. Ranma seemed unfazed by this, and started to pour cold water over herself to rinse off before getting in the tub with me. I just lost it then, and started to splash a her with water from the tub. It was then I got the shock of my life. Ranma changed into a boy. "Uuuummm, Ranma, could you hand me my towel please?" I stammered weakly in shock. Ranma tossed me my towel, which I grabbed on the fly as I was standing in the tub. I quickly covered my naughty-bits and grabbed my robe that I brought in with me. I walked out the door and proceeded the scream my head off. The Tendou family was shocked to see me racing down the stairs to the living room. They began to ask me what was wrong, but I was still freaking out. Finally, when I calmed down, I explained what had happened to Ranma in the bathroom, they told me not to worry about, cause it happens all the time. I was shocked (to say the least). It was then a large man with glasses looped around his ears, wearing a white karate gi and a light blue towel on his head appeared. "W--wh--who are you," I asked nervously. "Saotome Genma, Ranma's father," came his response. "Are you aware that your son is a fag?" I asked, to the amazement of the room. Genma was momentarily stunned, as was the rest of the Tendou family. Finally he spoke, "what are you saying? My son is a manly man! After all, I was the one who made him that way." Genma finished off his proclamation with a roundhouse aimed right at me. Unfortunately for him, I had managed to grab his arm as he swung at me. Then I performed a classic shoulder throw, one that even Bruce Li would have been proud of, and Mr. Saotome was sent flying. Kasumi opened the screen door that led to the patio just in time for Mr. Saotome to fly through and into the pond in the Tendou's backyard. What happened next was even more shocking to me than what just happened with Ranma. A panda came crawling out of the pond. I was shocked. Finally, after a long silence, punctuated by the noise of crickets on a summer's night, I spoke. "Excuse me, but I think I am going to faint now." And with that, I fainted dead away. I awoke several hours later to having P-chan on my chest and my eye pried open by Kasumi. She smiled one of her patented "oh good, he's alright" smiles and announced that I was coming around. Akane spoke to me first. "Gomenasai, we should have told you about Ranma and Saotome no ojiisan we when first met you. The truth is that have are cursed to change form whenever they get wet. Do you understand.?" I nodded weakly and Mr. Tendou took over the story. "It is a very tragic story. Saotome-kun and Ranma were training in China when they became cursed. Oh it is truly tragic!" With that, Mr. Tendou started to cry, and Kasumi took over the story. "Cold water causes them to change and hot water changes them back to normal." My head was spinning. What sort of curse is that? How am I gonna deal with this? "So, is there a cure for this curse," I asked trying to sound calm. The room fell silent, I guess there's my answer. I was opening the door to my room when I felt something rubbing into my back. It was soft, rounded and squishy....like breasts. Hands clamped down over my eyes and I heard someone say, in a really cute girly voice, "darega...." I turned to see who it was and it was Ranma, as a boy. Not quite knowing how to react, I lashed out with my fist and caught Ranma right in the jaw, sending him flying into the wall behind him. "PERVERT!" I shouted and slammed the door to my room.... To be Continued.... next chapter: Going Out to Lunch with Nabiki-oneechan Nabiki "volunteers" to show me around town. We go everywhere from a kissaten to a pachinko arcade to a manga shop. Nabiki manages to avoid all her bills....except one.... ja na matta ashita! March 28th, 1995 **************************************************************************** bakemono ja nai, ore wa AKUMA da!