Scott Jamison Comments to me at majks@cyberx.com, please.... RANMA 'N' ROLL by Scott K. Jamison (Note: Ranma 1/2 and associated characters created by Rumiko Takahashi, NA rights held by Viz Communications. MegaMan and associated characters rights held by Nintendo, last I heard. No infringement intended.) _The Future_ "Welcome to Juusenkyo, home of the Ambient Energy Physics Institute. Located in what was once a remote part of China, Juusenkyo was originally known for its many scenic springs. But these were bulldozed in 2008, due to the local belief the area was cursed." Roll put down the tourist brochure and sighed. Too bad about those springs; nowadays Juusenkyo looked like every other research facility she'd ever seen, at least from the air. She checked her internal chronometer. Still a couple of minutes ahead of schedule. Roll was a bit nervous; this was the first time she'd been away from Dr. Light for so long. The casual observer would not have noticed anything unusual about the blonde teenaged girl on the aerocraft. Even the mechanical bracer on her left forearm would have been dismissed as a fashion statement, common among the youth of her day. But she was in fact a sophisticated self-aware robot, one of a handful on the planet, and the most likely to pass for human. Which was why she was on this mission. Dr. Wiley and his evil robots had hit several research labs in the last week and the AEPI looked like a likely target, but they'd refused MegaMan's help. So forcefully, in fact, that Dr. Light suspected something was wrong there. So he'd sent Roll to pose as a tourist and scout around. Three hours later, Roll was getting bored. The tour guide had taken them completely around the facility, and nothing seemed out of place. Of course, anything really nasty would probably be in the off-limits area. She decided to slip off from the group, and ducked into a closet. She pressed a button on her forearm. "Dr. Light, this is Roll. Nothing yet, so I'm going to do some snooping up close." "I copy, Roll. Your brother is still en route, ETA 90 minutes. Do be careful, Roll." "You know me, Dr. Light. Out." Roll snagged a lab coat from the hanger, donned it, and headed for the off-limits area. Her clever story to get past the guard never got to be used however, as when she reached the door, the whole building shook from an explosion. Roll followed the guards in, and found them shooting futilely at GutsMan, the brute force of Wiley's robots. ProtoMan and CutMan were also there, flanked by a couple of others. "Har, har! You call those blasters? Proto, show 'em what a real blaster feels like." "Sure thing, GutsMan." The smaller robot turned his arm into an energy weapon, the beam from which sent the guards flying. "Enough playing around. I've got the chip, now let's get back to the master," whined CutMan. A rope ladder unfurled from a hole in the ceiling (that explains the explosion, thought Roll) and the robots climbed it. Roll punched her communicator. "Wiley's bots are already here!" she whispered. "Tell Mega to hurry! I'll try and keep them in sight!" She leapt to the ceiling and pulled herself through the hole. Wiley's Skullship was already taking off, facing away from her. Roll wasn't about to let them get away, so she hopped on to the tail. She turned her hearing up, trying to tune out the roar of the engines. "--Iz complete," was saying Dr. Wiley. "Now to inzert the chip and we have a time machine. Next ztop, the late Twentieth Zentury!" The world turned inside out. _Two Weeks Ago_ The world turned right side in. What Roll felt at that moment she supposed could be equated to the human sensation of nausea. "Zuccez! We have arrived in the pazt! ProtoMan, zet a courze for Japan." "Hey boss, we got a stowaway. One of them lab techies musta grabbed our tail." "Zat iz eazily dealt with." Dr. Wiley fishtailed the Skullship and the still dizzy Roll lost her grip. Mocking laughter rang in her ears as she plummeted towards the water below. Water? Those must be the springs! We actually went into the past, thought Roll. Good thing Dr. Light built me out of advanced polymers so I won't rust. Then she hit. Her vision seemed blurred, and her limbs heavy as she swam to the surface. That time trip must have taken more out of me than I thought, she thought. Roll broke the surface, and gulped in precious air, which seemed to sear her lungs. A man stood at the edge of the pool, extending a pole to her. She noticed now that many of the pools had bamboo poles sticking out of them, and was suddenly very grateful she hadn't been impaled on one. As she pulled herself ashore, she noticed how loud and fast her heartbeat seemed to be. A fault in the mechanism, perhaps? "Miss Customer okay? You fall in Spring of Drowned Girl!" "Whuh?" "Legend, very tragic, of young girl who drown there many centuries ago. Now whoever fall in take body of girl. Very popular with visitors." "But I *am* a girl!" "Oh good, not so tragic then." "Can you help me get to Japan? It's very urgent." _Today_ Ranma sighed. So far today, he'd had to deal with two fiancees, three rivals and a malevolent water elemental, and it wasn't even--he checked the clock tower--three o'clock yet! It was as if some strange force manipulated his life to make it ever more complicated and bizarre. Oops, here came the most important of his fiancees, Akane. The one he was in love with, or would be, if they didn't make each other so angry. "Ranma you jerk!" Not good. She was still upset. "Look, I can explain about the wombat. It was a perfectly honest mistake!" "Honest mistake my foot!" Akane picked up a garbage can and was about to bash him with it when they heard a soft whisper. "Ranma...Saotome?" There was a girl standing in the street. She had reddish blonde hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a mismatched assortment of Chinese clothing under a ragged lab coat. "Are you...Ranma Saotome?" she repeated, looking unsteady on her feet. Better just bite the bullet, he thought. "Yeah, that's me. Who wants to know?" "I'm...Roll." She fainted. Half an hour later, Ranma was on the phone in Dr. Tofu's office. "--No! For the final time, no, I'm not asking for a date!" He hung up rather violently. "Jeez, that girl never gives up. I'm not sure I cut through all the static, but I think Shampoo mentioned somewhere in there that there's no one named Roll in her village." "Has to be. Do you know of any other village in China with such silly names?" "no, Akane, but maybe she was just visiting China. How is she, Doc?" "Exhaustion and undernourishment, I'd guess. All she needs is some rest and a few good meals. Here's a prescription for some vitamin supplements, and you can take her home." "Home?" Home it was, well the Tendou Dojo anyways. After a short but heated debate, ("She knew your name, so she's *your* responsibility") Roll was moved into the Saotomes' room, and Ranma prepared to sleep on the roof. When he got back, the girl was stirring. "Where am I?" "The Tendou house, in Nerima." She sat up. "I must find Ranma Saotome!" "Relax. I'm him. But who are you?" "My name is Roll. Pleased to meet you." She had an odd accent, one Ranma couldn't place at first. But not Chinese. Still, best to check. "Are you from the Amazon village?" "Huh?" In other words, no. "So, why were you looking for me?" "The man at the springs said you could help me." Jyuusenkyo! Which probably meant she'd fallen in one of the springs. She might not even be a "she." "Apparently, you're something of a legend there." She stopped, then leaned forward so her face was on his chest. "I like the way you smell." Naturally, it was at this moment that Akane entered carrying a tray. "It's not what it looks like!" "Sure it isn't, you pervert. Kasumi's out, so I made some miso." "uh, Akane, isn't miso supposed to be just a bit cloudy, not opaque?" "Are you criticizing my cooking?" "Well, I--" Roll had taken the soup and began slurping it down. "Interesting flavor. I've never tasted anything like that." Ranma stared dumbfounded. Akane wore a triumphant smile, but it faded when the visitor's forehead began to sweat. "Odd. My stomach seems to be inverting, and there's a tickling sensation in my throat." Ranma rushed her to the toilet. "So that was vomiting. I don't think I want to repeat that experience." "Then don't eat any more of Akane's cooking. By the way, this is Akane Tendou." "Ranma's *fiancee*" growled Akane, as if to warn any challengers to stay away. "Roll. I'm pleased to meet you." That was it, her Japanese was too standard, as if she'd learned it from a book. "Maybe you'd like to freshen up a bit. I drew a bath." "Yes, that would be good." As the bathroom door shut behind Roll, Ranma said, "I think she's cursed." "like you?" "Yeah, so there's no telling what she (or he) really looks like." "You always did have strange tastes." "Hey, she just said I smelled nice! Stupid tomboy." "Pervert." "Uncute." "Grrr..." Remembering the Japanese custom, Roll soaped up first and rinsed off with cold water, then slid into the hot tub. She felt numb as the subtle aches of her body vanished. She'd realized too late that the Juusenkyo guide had meant *human* girl. The very first day of walking, her feet had blistered badly, and her skintight enduracloth suit had chafed badly against her subtly changed shape. And she'd grown weak with hunger. Not having any money the locals would understand, she had to trade her futuristic clothing for castoffs that could be adjusted to fit, and some food. Roll would have blushed if she were physically capable as she remembered finding out about waste elimination. After a couple of days, she was given a hot bath by a kindly woman and discovered the key to transformation, but all too soon a sudden rain shower rendered her human again. Her progress had gone in fits and starts after that. Her tireless robot body covered many more miles, but cold water lurked at every turn. Then she had to find food and hot water again, and each time she returned to human, she was just as tired. Actually, if it weren't for the pain and the tiredness, she'd almost enjoy being human. True, robotic sight and hearing were far superior, but the sensations of taste and smell almost made up for it. And the delicacy of human touch! Dr. Light was a genius, but even he couldn't build skin that felt as well as a human's. She calculated there would be no further benefit to soaking longer and stepped out of the tub. And onto the soap. Startled, she slipped and fell. "Eek!" Akane and Ranma burst in. "Are you all--" They stopped and stared. "I'm fine." "You-You're--between your legs, you're a b-b-blank!?!" "Sure." Roll punched up her hot air attachment and began drying herself off. Shortly, they were back in the bedroom, Roll wearing a cotton bathrobe. Ranma and Akane couldn't help staring. Now they could see the unnatural smoothness of her skin, no hairs or pores, and the slightly glassy look in her eyes. "Wha--who *are* you?" "Roll, like I said before. As for what I am, I'm a robot." "A robot? But you look so--real!" "Dr. Light made me and my brothers to look like humans, so we'd fit in better." "Brothers? You mean there are more of you?" "One in this time period, I think, though Proto isn't much of a brother. MegaMan, Rock, is still in the future as far as I know." "Future? You're a time traveller too?" "you got it! I came here on Dr. Wiley's ship." "Doctor who?" "No, Dr. Wiley. He used to be Dr. Light's partner, but he wanted to use robots to take over the world. And now he's back here in Japan, and I've got to stop him!" Admittedly the Twentieth Century teens didn't watch the news closely, but there'd been no reports of Dr. Wiley's Skullship, or of rampaging robots, and they told Roll so. "That's odd. He's normally pretty blatant. But I'd bet my circuits he's up to something rotten!" "But why did the guide send you to me?" asked Ranma. "That's obvious," interrupted Akane. "Your curse." "Curse?" "Uh, yeah, I fell into one of those pools too. Guess he thought I could help you adjust." One by one, the rest of the Tendou family came home and were introduced to Roll. Soun Tendou looked visibly relieved when he was told Roll had no intention of being engaged to Ranma. It was agreed that she would help Kasumi with the household chores in exchange for a place to stay. "And of course, you'll be attending school." "School? But I'm--" "Obviously too young to be playing hooky." "Sorry Roll, but the only kid around here who doesn't go to school is Ryouga, and that's only because he can't find it. Makes it tough for the truant officers to catch up." "What about Shampoo?" "She told me Cologne worked out some kinda 'home schooling' deal for her and Mousse." As she helped serve dinner, Roll watched the Tendou and Saotome families interact. It wasn't much like her own family. Ranma and Akane were very short-tempered with each other, and Ranma didn't seem to like his father much. Akane's father burst into tears at the slightest excuse. The middle daughter, Nabiki, spent the entire meal discussing stock options except for asking Roll if she'd like to pose for some pictures, while Kasumi just smiled and said "oh my" every so often. Of course, her own family was three-quarters robotic, and programmed to get along. Come to think of it, this was her first extended contact with humans other than Dr. Light. They were proving to be more complicated than she had imagined. "And Roll made dessert," Kasumi said. "Dessert? Splendid!" roared Genma. Roll brought out the cake, and everyone dug in, or rather tried to. "My fork won't go in." "Ow! I fink I broke a toof!" "I thought you said you were programmed for household duties?" Roll felt embarrassed. "Well, yes, but Dr. Light isn't exactly a gourmet. My cooking was just punching the right buttons on the synthesizer or putting stuff in a microwave. This was my first time cooking from scratch." "Didn't you taste it to see if it was right?" "Robots don't have taste buds." "Don't worry, dear," said Kasumi, "you'll get the hang of it." "Like Akane has?" "Ranmaa..." Since she needed only a brief shut-down period to recharge her batteries, Roll had finished cleaning and was trying to fix the toaster by the time everyone awoke. "This thing is really primitive, but I think this should do the trick." she said, retracting the spot welder into her arm. Sure enough, the toaster worked like a charm. "Good work, Roll." "I guess you're useful after all." Useful. The most important word to a robot. But somehow she wanted... more. One of Kasumi's old school uniforms fit Roll, so she was off with her new friends. Akane and Ranma were off on one of their intermittent arguments, this one about Akane's pet pig P-chan, who hadn't been home last night. Roll wanted them to stop fighting, but she had pretty much no experience with quarreling humans who weren't neatly divided into "good" and "evil." "Ummm...errr..." None of them noticed Mrs. Watanabe cleaning her stoop, but it was Roll who took the water spray. She reverted to human form and the tiredness it felt. "Ohhh..." she bagan to stumble. Almost instantly, Ranma was at her side, supporting her. "Are you all right?" "I think so...I just have to get used to a different body." But she didn't want to stand up right away. Ranma's arms were warm and safe. "Ranma you jerk!" Akane dumped a pail over his head. Suddenly Roll was being held by a rather wet redheaded girl. "Uncute tomboy!" "R-ranma? Is that you?" "Yup. This is my curse." They stopped at Dr. Tofu's for hot water. The physician seemed none too surprised to see his patient of the day before transform. "You will need to let your human form rest eventually. And take those vitamins!" They were dangerously close to being late when they reached Furinkan High. Akane and Ranma groaned when they saw a figure standing sentinel at the gate. "Ranma Saotome! Is there no end to your perfidy? You have ensnared yet another innocent maiden in the coils of your immeasurable lust!" "Actually Roll isn't my fiancee, and doesn't want to be," said Ranma quickly. "Ah! Then is the winter of my discontent made glorious summer by this azure-eyed daughter of Helios!" "Huh?" "He thinks you're pretty." "Oh. Thank you, Mr.--" "Kunou. Tatewaki Kunou, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. I shall allow you to d--" "I'll talk to you later! Time for me to get to class!" Thanks to Rolls's internal chronometer (just ignore the year) they made it to their seats with a second to spare. The teacher was favorably impressed. "At last, a dedicated student!" Because of her large database of general knowledge, the classes were easy for Roll, except debate, which required skills she'd never had to acquire. Not that Ranma and Akane were any better at it; it was pretty clear their idea of rhetorical argument involved lots of physical motion. At lunch, they were joined by a girl in a boy's uniform, who had a giant spatula strapped to her back. "Hi, I'm Ukyou Kuonji. Ranma's *fiancee*." There was that emphasis again. "I did not know that polygamy was legal in Japan at this time." "It's not," replied Akane. "Mine is the only legitimate engagement." "You weren't even born yet! Ranma was promised to me!" "He didn't even know you were a girl back then!" "Uncute shrew!" "Reverse dragster!" "Bad cook!" "ARRRH!" As the fiancees fought, Ranma chewed the okonomiyaki Ucchan had brought. "You humans have some confusing customs." "Tell me about it. And you haven't met Shampoo or Kodachi yet." Ranma gave Roll a somewhat biased rundown on his love life. "Oh my." The only incident of note in the afternoon was the strange little man who came out of nowhere and grabbed Roll's breasts. But he just muttered, "Silicone. Feh!" and lost interest. After school, there was some discussion of how to spend the rest of the afternoon. "Ucchan's?" "I already fought her once today, remember?" "Oh yeah. We didn't fight Shampoo or Mousse today or yesterday. How about the Nekohanten?" "Do you two really schedule your social life around who you've fought lately?" "Almost have to. Ranma can't back down from a fight. No matter how pointless it is. And I guess I'm pretty much the same way, and so are most of the people we know. So we all get into fights all the time." "Hmm, hardly anyone I know in the future fights. Just MegaMan and Dr. Wiley's bots." "What's MegaMan like?" "Well, he's strong, and brave, and kind. And I guess he's handsome, but he's my brother, so I'm kind of prejudiced." "Huh. Hey, looks like ^RUMBLE^ rain." By the time they reached the ramen restaurant, they were soaked through. Ranma tried to help Roll in, but Akane grabbed her arm instead. "Three beef ramens, please!" "Thank you Akane. I feel like such a wimp! Back home, I'm weaker than my brother, sure, but this human form just keeps falling over." "That's because you haven't been taking care of it properly. Now eat up. I may not like Shampoo or her Granny much, but this stuff is definitely nutritious." "Ranma have new *fiancee*?" That tone again! "No, Shampoo, Roll is *not* engaged to me." "Oh, is girl you phone about. No, not remember her from village." Roll looked up. A very cute Chinese girl with purple hair was holding the steaming ramen bowls. Behind her was an old woman leaning on a walking stick. "Your aura is very unusual." "I'm a robot, at least when I'm normal." "Shampoo thought robots all shiny metal, go beep-boop-bing, not alive, not have aura." "All things have spirits, granddaughter. And if the spirit is strong enough, the Juusenkyo (it is that, dear? I thought so) can be attached to it." "So what you're saying is, I have a soul?" "That is one possible interpretation. But I am not a priest." For once, and for a wonder, this concept distracted Shampoo from making a pass at Ranma, and the snack went on in peace. As she ate the hot noodles spread warmth through Roll's body. She found herself gazing at Ranma as she chewed. Even as the transformed boy gobbled his food, there was something--exciting about him. She began to imagine herself in his arms again, comforted as he spoke words from one of those old romantic movies. "Helloooo, Roll! Did you know your irises are turning into little pink hearts?" "Oh! No, is that bad?" Judging by Akane's frown, it was. "I think," said Ranma, "for your and my safety both, you should be a robot again. After you finish eating." Her heartbeat returned to its normal 60 beats per minute as she poured the hot water over herself. As her body cooled, so did her passion and now that hormones weren't affecting her thinking she recognized it for what it was. Superhuman hearing wasn't always a blessing. Though Akane and Ranma were trying to keep their voices down, she could hear them arguing on the way home. They were arguing about her. She was saying that Ranma shouldn't encourage Roll, he was saying that he did nothing more than courtesy demanded. She asked when he ever thought of courtesy; he accused her of being jealous of a robot. She pointed out that Roll wasn't always a robot, and after that it degenerated into a shouting match. Roll certainly had no intention of falling in love with Ranma. It sounded like he had enough romantic problems already. Besides, she was a robot, and robots didn't fall in love. But when she was a human too, suddenly her feelings weren't as easy to handle. There was still no news that sounded anything like Dr. Wiley's work, so after winning five straight games of shogi with Mr. Saotome, then losing the last one when he abruptly turned into a panda and switched the pieces while she was distracted, she made herself human and went to sleep. The next few days became something of a blur. Ranma got into fights a lot; it seemed like everyone in the neighborhood had some sort of grudge against at least two other people. Roll tried to ignore her attraction to him, and largely succeeded, as long as she was a robot. Roll learned about cooking from Kasumi, and it was simple once you knew how. Of course you needed human taste buds to fully appreciate it! Roll went on a date with the extremely persistent Kunou. Unfortunately, he proved to be a limited conversationalist. She learned more than she ever wanted to about a) what a great swordsman Kunou was; b) how annoying his crazy sister and father were; and c) the relative merits of Akane and "the pig-tailed girl." The latter was in fact Ranma, Kunou never having been able to understand the transformations. Perhaps if she had been human at the time, she thought, the hormones would have made her not mind so much, but as a robot (Kunou didn't seem to grok that either) she was quickly bored. With rest and food her human form began to recover, and Akane helped her work out. This life was beginning to be comfortable, but at night she still missed her brother and creator. Then the break came. It was Nabiki who found it, although unwittingly. "This looks like a good investment opportunity. Lee Enterprises has just developed a new 'fuzzy logic' computer chip that looks to be years ahead of the competition." "Have they solved the Liebnitz transduction barrier problem?" asked Kasumi. "Lessee, yes, using an osmium-beryllium sponge alloy." "Osmium-beryllium sponge? Let me see that!" Roll confirmed her fears. "This is one of Dr. Light's earliest inventions! It laid the whole groundwork for intelligent robots. But he won't invent it for decades!" "Says here a Dr. Yang Lee invented it." "Yang Lee? Y. Lee, Dr. Wiley! It must be him!" "I get it," said Nabiki. "If he 'invents' this stuff now, your Dr. Light is out of a job. Heck, with the possible repercussions from this, he might not even become a scientist." "There's an address on this prospectus. I've got to stop him!" "You mean *we've* got to stop him," said Ranma, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, Ranma, but Dr. Wiley has a small army of superpowered robots. You're only human!" "I can take any dumb old robot. Besides, when I said 'we', I didn't mean just me and you. Right, Akane?" "Right, Ranma! Glad to see you're finally giving me some credit." "You may not be as good as me, but you're definitely violent." "Ranma you jerk!" While the two were fighting, Nabiki suggested a plan (for a small fee) and she and Roll began making phone calls. The next day, a medium-sized group of people met on a rooftop in the warehouse district. (Say what you will about some of them, none were interested in having the world ruled by *someone else*.) In addition to Nabiki and Roll, there were of course Ranma and Akane, their fathers, the Kunou siblings, Ukyou, Shampoo and Mousse (though she claimed they weren't together), Ryouga and some kid named Gosunkugi. The last was addressed by Ranma. "What the heck are you doing here? You don't know any martial arts!" The boy with candles in his headband held up a camera. "Upperclassman Tendou wants me to help capture this event on film, in case she gets tied up." And if I thought I could trust even one of you to pull off a scam, I wouldn't be within a mile of this place, thought Nabiki. "Let's review the plan again. Dr. Wiley might know I'm in this time period, but he's never seen my human form. So that's how I'll be going in, posing as Nabiki's assistant. She'll pretend to represent an investment firm. If I'm wrong, and Dr. Lee is legitimate, everyone pulls out, no harm done." And I turn a tidy profit...thought Nabiki. "If I'm right, we give the signal, and you folks come in. Remember your briefing on the various robots, and pick your entrance. Gosunkugi, I want you to stick by Ryouga to help him find his way around. Conversely, Ryouga, you protect the cameraman. Any questions?" "Human form? What do you mean, human?" Kunou still hadn't quite grasped it. "Like this," Roll replied, and applied a sopping towel to her face. The reddish tint came back to her hair, and her shape shifted slightly. It felt almost natural now. "Amazing! You are even more beautiful than before!" "Put a lid on it, Kunou." "How dare you order me about, Ranma Saotome?" "Roll, let's get out of here," suggested Nabiki. As the temperature on the roof rose, the two young women made their way to the street and entered the premises of Lee Enterprises. The receptionist was duly impressed by Nabiki's documents, which were an astounding blend of fiction and reality. Roll noted the subtle body language the middle Tendou sister used to enhance her business image. Fortunately, all she herself had to do at this point was stand and look efficient, something being a robot had given her practice at. A typical PR flack guided them around the facility. His praises of Dr. Lee's genius were fulsome, but sounded just a bit flat. "I see you use a lot of free-standing robots on your assembly line." "Yes. Robots are highly efficient. Soon they will be everywhere." Mostly they were making more assembly robots. But one line was putting out the "fuzzy logic" chips. "Lee Enterprises will soon dominate the world...market." "Before I can make my final recommendation, I'll have to meet Dr. Lee myself, of course." So they were escorted to the main office. Dr. Lee proved to be an ancient-looking Chinese man, flanked by a young man who almost made Roll gasp. His face was Identical to MegaMan's except for the sneer on it. She realized it must be Proto, Rock and hers "big brother", though she'd never seen him without his helmet/mask on before. Dr. Lee's Japanese was poor, so he insisted on having the conversation in English. As soon as Roll heard the word "zuccez" she knew they had their man, and gave the prearranged sign to Nabiki to clear out. "I'm terribly sorry, Dr. Lee, but I have another appointment. I'll let you know what the firm decides." "They will be invezting heavily, becauze you will tell them to." "You seem very sure of that." "Proto, show her the other function of the fuzzy logic chip." The robot moved to Nabiki's side with inhuman speed and put something on her neck. "Lee Enterprises is a wonderful investment opportunity. We should put all our money into it" droned Nabiki in the same tones the PR man had used. "Muzic to my earz. And now the other one." Roll put up her briefcase to block Proto's hand, while pushing the panic button in her pocket. Waiting on the roof had degenerated into a general brawl, though Gosunkugi was getting some great action shots of Akane. Suddenly there was a beeping noise. It was important, but why? Oh yeah, the mission. "Um...Excuse me...this is important...the SIGNAL!" Everyone stopped, except for Shampoo's rhythmic beating of Mousse's head against the tarmac. "The factory? Upperclassman Tendou and Miss Roll?" "Oh!" "Right!" "CHAARGE!" The martial artists ran, leapt or hurtled into various doors and skylights. Ryouga would rather have gone with Akane, but he knew he'd just end up fighting Ranma, so he reluctantly grabbed Gosunkugi instead. "Okay, spookface, which way do we go?" "Left. No, your other left!" Back in the factory, Roll's briefcase had proved little barrier to ProtoMan's hand, but neither had the thermos of hot water inside, so when he attached the mind control chip, she was already reverting to robotic form, which the chip did not affect. "Huh?" "Surprise, brother!" She backflipped and grabbed Nabiki. "Roll? What are you doing here?" "It doezn't matter what zhe'z doing here! Deztroy her, you idiot!" "With pleasure, Doc." He fired a plasma burst at her, but Roll had already moved. Made a nice hole in the wall though. "I'll see myself out, thanks." Bells began ringing and lights flashing as a computer voice announced "Intruder Alert. Intruder Alert." "Eh? I hadn't puzhed the button yet. It muzt be MegaMan!" The mad scientist was of course wrong, but given Roll's relationship with the hero who'd beaten him every other time, he may be forgiven the assumption. In point of fact, the Nerima martial arts fanatics had arrived and were smashing their way through his minions. Battle Highlights: Ukyou was the first hero to fall, only moments after entering the factory. It seems an oversized metal spatula was not the most effective weapon against the electrically-charged ShockMan. Kodachi's non-conductive ribbons wrapped him up quite nicely, however. "She is my rival *fiancee* and thus *my* prey. None but I shall do her die, at the proper time! HOHOHOOOHAHAHOO!" Kunou and Mousse found themselves up against CutMan, who unleashed his head blade. They easily ducked, and Kunou struck a pose. "Beware, short miscreant, for now you face the Blue--" CutMan's blade sheared off the bokken on its return trip. "You shall pay for that indignity!" "Call me short? I'll cut you down to size!" "Here, Kunou, try this," said Mousse, tossing him a Chinese longsword. "My thanks," replied the vain swordsman, "but what will you use?" as he deflected another throw. "Oh, I don't know. Perhaps...the Wings of Death?" He leapt into the air, and his wide sleeves sprouted multiple blades, looking for all the world like a metallic bird of prey. CutMan gulped. "Say freeze!" quipped IceMan as he shot jets of super-cold gas at Shampoo. One caught her leg, freezing solid instantly and pinning the Chinese girl. She tossed a bonbori. "You missed. Now ice going to mess you up." "Shampoo not miss. Robot dumber than Mouse." "Eh?" The cold-producer was suddenly buried beneath chunks of ceiling. Genma, Soun and Akane found themselves battling the assembly robots, which were also Dr. Wiley's cannon fodder. "This is easy!" gloated Genma as he smashed two bots into each other. "I feel like the hero in a video game!" "There's just one problem with that, Uncle Saotome." "Really?" "The boss robot you have to face at the end of the level!" She pointed to FlameMan, who was stoking up his fires. Ryouga and Gosunkugi abruptly ran into what felt like a solid wall where none should be. This proved to be the massive GutsMan. "Har! Youse guys are da intruders? I wuz hoping for something a bit more substantial." He swung his oversized fist. And Ryouga stopped it. "Dat's impossible!" Nobody human can stand up to me!" "Who are you calling inhuman, you heap of junk?" Ryouga was an incredibly strong human, but GutsMan was a superstrong robot, and eventually the martial artist had to give ground. Fortunately, it had been enough time for Gosunkugi to scramble to relative safety. The robot followed up with punches to the face and solar plexus. He was again boggled when these didn't move Ryouga. The wandering boy spit blood from a split lip. "I have endured tortures far beyond your imagining. Your blows are nothing to me. But I can destroy you. Even a steel heart can be broken!" as he lunged forward, forefinger extended. Only bad luck (or the head blow being more effective than admitted) kept the breaking point technique from striking true, but it did shatter the robot's left arm. "Waste oil!" Ranma found Roll and Nabiki (the latter still droning Dr. Lee's praises) dodging ProtoMan's attacks. The evil robot had briefly paused to don his normal attire. "Get her to safety! I'll take it from here!" "Huh. You're not MegaMan. Outta my way." "You're going to wish I was MegaMan, protobreath. Amaguri-ken!" A few dozen of Ranma's flurry of blows struck Proto, denting the robot's armor and sending him crashing backwards. "Hey, you're good! But not as good as me!" He unleashed a volley of plasma bursts and Ranma was hard put to avoid them. The two dueled for several minutes, Ranma's superior skill and reflexes countering Proto's inhuman strength and serious firepower. Until at last the robot's blaster went #phftt#. "Out of juice already? I'm just warming up!" taunted Ranma as he gathered his ki. "Hey, tell you what, let's make a deal. I never liked Doc Wiley much anyw--" His words were drowned out by Ranma's ki attack, which punched ProtoMan through three walls. Ranma leapt after him. Roll handed Nabiki off to her sister, then turned back. "Where are you going?" "To take care of some unfinished business." She found Dr. Wiley directing his troops from a secure room off his office. At least it had been secure until she'd used her electronic lock override on the door. (Dr. Light had installed it after Dr. Wiley had once tricked them into an electronically locked room. Roll was thankful.) "My dear girl, what do you think you're doing? Attacking a helplez old man!" "Your disguise slipped a while back, Dr. Wiley. No more damsel in distress for me. This time you won't be getting away." She activated her electric knife attachment. It made a wonderfully scary buzzing noise. Of course, her programming prevented her from taking human life, even one as deserving as Dr. Wiley, but did he know that? "I zurrender! Please don't uze that thing on me!" Apparently not. "Order your robots to stand down." "All robotz! Ceaze fighting, authorization Wiley Omega. By the way, Roll, did I mention thiz factory iz built atop a naturally prezurized zpring?" He twisted a knob before the robot girl could stop him. Suddenly jets of water burst from all the ventilators, beginning to flood the factory. Roll was caught in the face, and Dr. Wiley took the opportunity to flee. Various intruders were forced into their cursed forms. (Shampoo _would_ pick that moment to catch up with Ranma.) Others were merely forced back by the raging waters. Only Genma in his panda form was strong enough to beat the flow, but he opted to carry the unconcious Ukyou to dry land instead. The heroes regrouped just in time to see Wiley's robots (much the worse for wear) boarding the Skullship. The mad doctor's voice boomed from a loudspeaker. "Zo you thought you could beat me, hah? Hah! After a quick trip to the prezent to fix my botz, I'll go zomewhere elze in time. You'll never ztop me! Hahahaha!" The Skullship took off and vanished. "Where's Ryouga?" "Sorry, I lost him." "Gosunkugi you jerk!" Akane spoke to me! was his joyous thought. A few hours later, Dr. Tofu had safely removed the mind-control chip from Nabiki, an operation he would quietly repeat on a number of business and political leaders over the next week. Her first lucid thought was, "someone will _pay_ for this." Most of the martial artists had gone home, including a recovered Ukyou, though in Ryouga's case it was P-chan's home. Roll had donned her mismatched Chinese clothes and lab coat (lovingly patched) and stood at the gate. "So where will you go?" "Everywhere, I guess. It's a big world out there, and I'd like to see some of it, and maybe explore the concept of me having a spirit before Dr. Wiley changes the timestream completely." "He strikes me as the type who will always get stopped somehow, no matter when he turns up." "Bwee!" seemed to agree P-chan. "I guess. But I'm stuck here in the past, and I'll never see Dr. Light or my brother again." "Oh, I wouldn't say that, Sis." The speaker was a young man wearing blue armor. Beside him was a robotic semblance of a dog in red armor. "Rock! and Rush! Oh, I'm so glad to see you!" Roll ran to embrace her brother. "Like what you've done with your hair. Hey! You're crying! Robots can't cry." "Rock you jerk. I'm not just a robot anymore." "Yah! Yah!" barked Rush, its chemical receptors picking up her human fragrance. "I must admit," said Dr. Light, walking up, "that I feel rather like Gepetto in the old story, not sure what my creation has become, but pleased none the less." "Dr. Light!" and Roll hugged him too. "But how--" "We got a letter from a Mrs. Tofu telling us where and when you'd gone. MegaMan ambushed Dr. Wiley the moment he returned to the present and was able to confiscate the time machine. After that it was merely a matter of setting the coordinates to when Mrs. Tofu said she remembered us picking you up at." "Mrs. Tofu? Oh, I see." Kasumi had come up, smiling her sometimes unnervingly benevolent smile. She held out a package wrapped in tissue paper. "I packed these for you, as well as some food. I thought you might have a use for them later." "Thank you very much." MegaMan strolled over to the pigtailed girl. "You're Ranma Saotome? I'm very honored to meet you, sir." "Likewise, I guess." Somewhat startled at the respectful tone. "You know about Ranma?" "Are you kidding, Sis? He's famous! He stopped not one, but three--" "Rock! That hasn't happened yet! Remember the rules of temporal paradox." "Sorry, Dr. Light. You can look up the records when we get home." There were more tearful farewells, but eventually the four visitors from the future returned to their own time. Peace reigned in the neighborhood for a while, but things returned to their normal chaos when...but that is another story. _The Future_ "I must have slipped a cog, not realizing I was dealing with *the* Ranma Saotome." "I couldn't put everything in your data base, Roll, and some of that material is highly suspect." "So, Sis, when you going to show us what's in that package?" "Oh, it's nothing special." "C'mon, let me see! Huh? What are...tampons?" Roll just giggled. "Dr. Light? Why are you blushing? Rush, do you know what these are? Will someone please explain the joke?!" THE END Comments and such welcome at majks@cyberx.com ! A bit of author's notes. MegaMan is a pretty bland cartoon, all told, though I does have a nice "Tezuka-homage" look. Roll is one of those characters that never quite gets used to potential in an episode, (indeed the writers seem to shy away every time they realize they're letting her have too much of a role), so I thought it would be nice to get her out on her own for a while. I fiddled with the capabilities of her robot body a bit, since it's not really shown on the show what her powers and limits are exactly. Certainly she has powers in some episodes that could have quickly solved the problems in other episodes where she didn't use them. It's also worth mentioning that I have never played the video games the cartoon is loosely based on, which could be considered the "manga" to the TV show's "anime". Thus this story blatantly contradicts elements of the video game continuity. (I suspect going with that continuity would have resulted in more action in the story...) SKJAM! "But most of all, I think that I am happy to be me." from "The Wishing Song"