johnbil@wam.umd.edu (John Walter Biles) Kunou's Excellent Adventure This is a choose your own adventure kind of a story....You get to be the great samurai Kunou Tatewaki as he deals with the evil forces that inhabit Nerima...like his sister--Kodachi, Saotome Ranma, Fujishima-sensei and all the other evil beings he must strive to daily overcome. Let's take a trip inside the mind of a moron.... Like any other choose your own adventure...you start at 1, then follow the instructions as you make your choices. In some cases, you may need to flip a coin. Kunou starts the day with 20,000 yen...keep track of them....It may be important. Onward Ho! The life of a Samurai awaits! The adventure starts with # 1 1 You are running through a field of flowers. Your darling pony-tail girl is running across the field of flowers to you. She is dressed in that lovely red satin outfit you have seen her in so often. Her red ponytail bobs as she runs. Her open arms and inviting smile beckon you onward. You love her with all you might(and being a samurai gives you lots of might!) Soft romantic music echoes across the field. Finally, you shall be with your pony-tail girl...forever. Then you hear a second strain of music. Martial music. It too echoes across the field. You turn your head for a moment, and see the lovely Akane running across the field to you. Her short brown hair rustles as she runs towards you. The music grows louder as she approaches. She is smiling at you. She is wearing her gi and carrying a pair of barbells. You stop, unsure which girl to run towards...for even the great Kunou Tatewaki cannot be in two places at the same time. Run towards the pony-tail girl--Go to 50 Run towards Akane--go to 25 Stand where you are in indecision--5 Try to run towards both girls at the same time--55 2 You send Sasuke to invite Akane to dine with you. He soon returns with her in tow, but Ranma follows her here. You scowl at the sight of your most hated enemy, but resolve to be civil to him for the sake of your guest, who has been forced into engagement with him. You hate him almost as much as you know she does. If only she was free to come to you as you know she wants to. Sasuke brings Akane a chair while you allow Ranma to stand. He does not quite appreciate your generosity, but eagerly eats the food Sasuke prepared for you. Akane eats in a much more dignified manner. Suddenly she realizes something. "Ranma, you didn't eat the lunch I prepared for you!" "Sorry, Akane, I'm stuffed." Ranma says. "But Ranma, I spent hours working on this lunch for you! Why won't you eat it?" Akane says. "You should eat it, Ranma! Any man is happy to eat the cooking of the lovely Akane!" You say. What an ungrateful cur. "Then you eat it!" He says. You stare at him for a moment. Do you offer to eat Akane's cooking 83 let the incident pass 40 attack the insolent wretch 29 3 "I knew you could repent and redeem yourself, Nabiki." You bow to her. Nabiki smiles at you. She says, "I knew you would believe me when I apologized sincerely," and smiles that odd smile you never quite understand that she has. The rest of Lunch is uneventful, but you can't quite get that smile out of your head....Why was she smiling like that? Get one character point and go to 95 4 "Uh, well, I, er....I really am not sure. I suppose the Ainu had more problems again? Because of our honorable ancestors or something? Or maybe...." Fujishima-sensei raps you on the knuckles. "Stop daydreaming in class, Kunou." "But I wasn't! It just, well...." You begin. "Enough excuses. Go get two buckets and stand in the hall." He points out the door. You mutter and go out to the hallway until lunch time. Sigh. Your only solace is that Ranma is not here to gloat. You wait patiently until Lunch. go to 31. 5 You cannot decide which of the lovely beauties to run towards. Then you realize if you don't move, they will both come to you! You can be with both of them! You smile and open your arms wide to recieve them. Someone is shaking you from behind....The world fades away...and you see.... Get one Character point and Go to 10 6 You have had enough from this insolent wench! She calls you Kunou baby, but all she wants is your money! This insolent peasant has abused your good will for the last time! You draw your bokken and attack ! Some part of you feels that this action is beneath your dignity too, but you no longer care. She screams in shock as the bokken strikes her. She flies across the schoolyard, scattering students as she goes. Everyone stares at you. You stop as the anger drains out of you....what have you done...striking a defenseless woman. You fall to your knees and howl your anguish and guilt at the skies. Nabiki lies at the foot of a tree. A crowd is gathering around her and around you....Then your father the Principal walks into the courtyard...and Akane and Ranma. Everyone is staring at you. Akane and Ranma rush over to Nabiki. Akane holds her. "Big sister, what's wrong with you?" Ranma stares over at you as you cry on your knees. Never have you been so ashamed... Get -10 character points....you wretch. The End. 7 You think it would be good to further your training with a noble samurai. "Take me to be trained, o my goddess." She giggles a bit. "As you desire." She touches the nearby mirror. It shimmers and ripples like a pond. "Step through it and find what you seek." You step through the mirror, and find yourself standing in a forest glade. A dignified old man with a bokken in his hands, dressed like you, stands nearby. "So you are the student I am to teach?" You bow. "Yes, sensei. I seek to learn and escape the miserable existence that I had." "Very good. Let us see what you are made of." You duel and practice for hours. He is so good you almost can't believe it. He pushes your skills to the limit. You are exhausted at the end of the session. You sit and huff and puff. He smiles. "Time for us to go down to the house. Dinner should be ready soon." He leads you through the forest to a beautiful traditional Japanese home. You can smell strange odors coming from the kitchen....it smells like one of Kodachi's experiments with nerve gas. "Are you married, sensei?" You ask. You hope that's not dinner you smell. "Not any more. My wife died long ago. One of my grandson's friends is cooking for us tonight. I used to live alone most of the time, but now my grandson, my son, and several of my grandson's friends live here." He opens the door and a small furry cat jumps into your arms. You smile at it, then realize it looks really strange...It has big floppy ears like a rabbit. And it hops like one too. It mews happily up at you. Sensei smiles. "That's Ry-oh-ki. She's a cabbit." You have never heard of such a creature before. Ry-oh-ki climbs up on your head, reminding you of that phoenix egg disaster... Sensei says, "Well, I can show you your room, or you can take a walk before supper, or just wander around if you like." Do you Take A Walk Go to 73 Check out who is cooking Go to 86 Go to your room Go to 100 8 You nod to the troll. "Tell me what your proposition is." It smiles. "Come with me to the Nekohanten. " You follow the old dried up mackerel to the Nekohanten. You sit down at a table, and she reveals her plan. "We have a common interest. You want Akane to marry you, not Ranma. I want Ranma to marry Shampoo, not Akane. I think we can work out a deal. Shall we help each other? " Do you say yes Go to 32 Say no Go to 22 9 You send Sasuke to invite the pony-tail girl to come eat. You are worried when hours later he has not returned. Shortly before dinner is ready, he returns with the pony-tail girl. She is dressed beautifully in a nice dress and is following her panda into the room....The panda is moving quite quickly, dragging her along. You gesture to the fine dinner spread out and her expression changes to extreme joy. She and the panda sit down at the table. Kodachi comes out and starts serving you, carefully ignoring the pony-tail girl. You sigh. You do not know why Kodachi hates your love so much....but she doesn't understand why you hate Ranma either.... The meal goes well. You carefully point out all the poisoned food to the pony-tail girl, who feasts happily with her panda. Afterward, she gets up and tries to get you to chase her...you can tell by the way she just runs out of the room as soon as she is done. You pursue her, for you know she enjoys this game. It looks like another exciting date with your darling pony tail girl. A good way to end your day. Get one character point. The End 10 Sasuke is shaking you. You awaken in bed. It was just a dream.... "Master, Master, You'll be late for school if you do not hurry! Quickly, master Kunou." You stagger out of bed and get dressed. Time to try to survive breakfast. You walk downstairs to the dinner table where Kodachi has prepared a lovely and likely lethal feast for you, Sasuke, and herself. Your father has already eaten and departed for the school to terrorize the students. "Hello, brother dear." Kodachi says for you. "Planning on sleeping all day?" You ignore her and sit down. You look at the food. Hmm....What is least likely to be poisoned? Or at least, the least poisoned. It's a good thing you take a little cyanide before bed every night...she can't use that on you any more. Finally, you pick out some food and start eating. The food is excellent, even if deadly nightshade is not supposed to be used as a substitute for lettuce. And you don't wash apples with strychnine either. Well, normal chefs don't....You are turning a little green, but you are sure you will survive. Kodachi smiles and eats her breakfast. "Enjoying the meal, Brother dear?" Do you Make a witty retort? Go to 99 Ignore her? Go to 45 Attack her? Go to 15 11 You send Sasuke to invite Ukyou to dine with you. She arrives, dragging Ranma in tow. You scowl at the sight of your most hated enemy, but resolve to be civil to him for the sake of your guest, who seems to like him for some unfathomable reason. Sasuke brings Ukyou a chair while you allow Ranma to stand. He does not quite appreciate your generosity, but eagerly eats the food Sasuke prepared for you. Ukyou eats in a much more dignified manner. She is a lovely girl...but two women is enough for you. She dresses much too boyishly. After a few minutes, Akane shows up with a box lunch for Ranma. "Sorry, Akane, I'm stuffed." Ranma says. "But Ranma, I spent hours working on this lunch for you! Why won't you eat it?" Akane says. "You should eat it, Ranma! Any man is happy to eat the cooking of the lovely Akane!" You say. What an ungrateful cur. "Then you eat it!" He says. You stare at him for a moment. Do you offer to eat Akane's cooking 83 let the incident pass 40 attack the insolent wretch 29 12 As Ranma strikes you, pictures of the pony-tail girl fly everywhere. He stops and picks up one of the pictures. "AAAHHH!!!!" He starts trying to grab all the pictures. You both dive about trying to get the pictures. "I can't believe you keep buying these pictures!" He says. The cur is stealing your photos! You yell a battle cry and charge! You get him off guard and land a solid blow knocking him down. "That was cheap, Kunou!" he says. Hmmph, as if a thief like him could speak of honor. You press the attack driving him back. Then suddenly he is in the air, and his foot strikes your face....everything goes black. Sigh, once again he has used some trick to get the better of you. But you will show him what a dog he is one day....You wake back up right as lunch ends. Go to 95 13 If you have been told to remember E go to 66 Otherwise go to 87 14 You casually reach out and switch your salt shaker with the one on the table. Now you just need some way to get Ranma to actually use it. Do you Bribe Nabiki to salt his food? Go to 98 Use it on your food and switch plates with him Go to 72 Salt his food with it while he is not looking. Go to 19 15 You have had enough of her insolence! Kodachi is in high need of a spanking. You draw your sword and leap across the table at her consumed with the need for vengeance. She giggles maniacally and springs back away from the table. She whips out one of her gymnastics ribbons. "A workout before school? Excellent! I have not beaten you in the last few hours..." You utter a battle cry and press the attack. She tries to disarm you, but your grip is strong and sure. You press her back across the room. Then she flips over you and tosses clubs at the back of your knees. You collapse, roll and get up. But she manages to disarm you with her ribbon in the process. She swathes you in ribbons and rolls you down the hallway to your bedroom. "I guess you won't be making it to school today. See you later Brother dear." She giggles and bounds away. Perhaps you'd be better off just missing school entirely....This day is ill omened. The END 16 You quietly slip the salt shaker out of your pocket, salt your food, and put it back in your pocket. Note down D and go to 84 17 You grab the pepper shaker and pepper your food. Mmm...this will be good. Go to 97 18 You whip out a bouquet of flowers and chase after Akane. You find her crying in one of the guest rooms. You approach her with the bouquet of flowers in front. "Are you okay, Akane my love?" "Someone's enchanted Ranma to forget me!" She sobs out her heart lying on the bed. "Ranma no Baka...." You hand her the flowers and say, "Maybe these can comfort you." She takes the flowers and calms down a little. She sobs, "And my own father....It must be Kodachi's doing." "She is always up to something." You nod. No need to reveal the truth as yet. "Come with me and we'll see if we can get to the bottom of this." You glomp onto her, and she punts you through the wall....but you don't care! Saotome is out of your hair forever! In the end, she will be yours! You've finally gotten Saotome out of the way! Congratulations....at least until the magic salt wears off.... You have achieved the best possible ending for Kunou in this story! Kudos! Five character points for you! Good Job. 19 You reach out and casually salt Ranma's food with the shaker. If asked, it was an accident. He notices, and acks. "Too much salt!" He takes the plate and throws out the food and gets a new plate of food. End that plan. Do you put the salt on your food and switch plates with him? Go to 72 Bribe Nabiki to salt his food? Go to 98 20 You don't quite believe she is truly repentent. "Apologize to your sister, too. You have offended her. That will be a better sign of your repentance than an apology only to me. I am not sure you are truly repentant." You wait for her reply. Nabiki stares at you for a moment. "Perhaps you are smarter than I thought." She turns to Akane. "I am sorry, and I will not do it again until I need the money." Akane groans, and says, "That's not much of an apology." Nabiki says, "Would you rather I lie to you?" Akane says, "Hmm....I guess that is the best apology I will get." She turns and leaves. Do you Go finish eating Go to 95 Throw yourself at Akane go to 94 Get disgusted with Nabiki, go home, and apply to get into a different series Go to 101 21 A life battling the forces of darkness appeals to you. Noble warfare is the true calling of a samurai. You turn to Belldandy and say, "I choose to battle the forces of darkness." She nods. "That is a noble choice, o Samurai. It shall be dangerous and hard, but you shall not fight alone. Are you truly willing to risk your life in this fight?" You nod. "I do not fear the darkness. I pledge my weapon to the conflict to come." "Then step through the mirror." She touches it, and it ripples like water. You step through, and find yourself in front of a battered old house. A young, pale girl is sitting on the front porch, dressed in black, looking out across a field to the sea. Nearby stands a man wearing a mask and long black robes that muffle his form. She turns to you. "So you are the help that has been sent to me?" She stands up and carefully examines you. You are not sure you are in the right place, but you say, "Yes. I have fled more former life to do battle against the forces of darkness, as is the duty of a samurai." She smiles sadly and says, "I find it hard to believe that your former life could be worse than this one...but you have made your choice. I am Miyu, and this is Larva. Come, we have work to do tonight." You have made your choice....to battle darkness by the side of Vampire Princess Miyu. You will have many adventures...but not in this story. Gain 3 character points. The End. 22 You shake your head. "I must defeat Ranma alone. The victory must be all mine. I can have it no other way. Thank you for asking, however, Troll." The bakemono whacks you in the head with its stick. "I am not a troll! Call me Cologne, call me oba-san, but don't call me a troll!" You get up and leave. "Yes, troll. I will remember that." You get whapped again as you leave. go to 41 23 "Let me see them", you say. Nabiki gets out the photos. She has ten photos of Akane--working out, punching Ranma, punching bricks, jogging, and lifting Genma with one hand while trying to run a vacuum where he was sitting. So strong and vital. She also has ten photos of the lovely pony-tail girl....sunbathing in the yard, swimming, walking on a fence, sleeping in her bed. She is so innocent and lovely. Nabiki says, "Special deal today. You can buy one set for 5,000 yen or two sets for 7500." If you buy any pictures, go to 30. If you choose not to buy any pictures, go to 56 24 You graciously invite Sasuke to dine with you. He blinks in surprise, "Why thank you Master Kunou." He sits down and has a nice meal with you. He shines with joy as he packs up the table and silverware and takes them back to the mansion. Go to 95 25 You cannot resist the beauteous Akane! You run towards her, sweeping her up into your arms. You spin around happily together. You lean forward for a kiss...and the pony-tail girl kicks you into orbit in anger...but you do not care. What more could you want than orbital bliss with Akane? You feel someone shaking you...the world fades before you can kiss...NOOOO!!!!! go to 10 26 You quietly switch salt shakers, leaving the magic salt shaker on the tray and putting the real salt shaker in your pocket. You hang around the kitchen for a minute or two, then Kodachi says, "You need to see to our guests!" Ignoring your protests, she shoos you out of the kitchen into the living room, where your guests are waiting. You do your best to entertain them with witty repartee and your magnificent presence until dinner is ready. Finally, Kodachi emerges and says, "Dinner is served." You are nearly trampled by the hungry horde. Note down the Letter B. Go to 44 27 Thinking carefully, you remember the pepper in your pocket is the antidote to the amnesia salt. You coat your food with it just to be sure. Note down E and go to 97 28 If you have been told to remember C go to 77 If you have been told to remember D go to 66 29 You have had enough of that insolent cur, Ranma. It is time for you to teach him a lesson he will not forget. You draw your bokken and attack! You press him back, impressing all who see you with the skill you possess with a sword. He dodges, unable to get in a blow at you. Finally, he slides in under your sword, hooking your legs and sending you flying. You clamber back up and get hit by a hail of blows. "Ten-shin Amaguriken!" he yells, striking you with the legendary Fist of a hundred blows... Are you carrying pictures of Akane? Go to 39 Pictures of the pony-tail girl Go to 12 Both Go to 60 Neither Go to 90 30 Mark off however much money you spend and keep track of which pictures you bought. Give yourself one character point per set you buy. Then go to 65. 31 You have made it to Lunchtime with sanity intact. Sasuke arrives with a table, a chair, and your lunch. You sit down to dine, then realize that once again, you are alone for lunch. Everyone is too much in awe of you to come dine with you. But perhaps you should approach someone. There are many people who would be happy to dine with you. You could ask: Akane--Turn to 2 The Pony-Tail Girl--Turn to 35 Ukyou--Turn to 11 Sasuke--Turn to 24 32 Hmm, this might work. Even allying with a troll would be worth it to defeat Saotome once and for all. "Do you know how to defeat the evil magic he has used to enslave the pony-tail girl?" The troll blinks and stares at you for a moment. "You really don't know, do you?" "Know what?": Is there some secret of Saotome's that the troll has uncovered with its magic? The troll smirks. "Yes, the rumors are indeed true. Well, I suggest dousing Son-in-law with cold water. That should banish him back to the netherworld." The troll seems to be convulsing for some strange reason. You nod. Saotome does seem to avoid water for some reason. Now you understand why. You've seen the Wizard of OZ. That witch didn't like water either. "All you have to do, is invite him and Akane over to dinner, and put this in his food." She waves a salt shaker. "It will make him forget all about Akane, leaving her free for you, and Ranma free to marry Shampoo. You nod. Then a thought hits you like a brick. "What if the wrong person eats the food?" The troll blinks. It quietly says, "Hmm...not quite that stupid. " The troll then raises its voice and says, "Just don't eat it yourself. It only effects men, not women. The effects are permanent without the antidote." She pauses, and hands you a pepper shaker. "This is some of the antidote. Season your food with it and you will be immune. And don't forget which is which!" One more thought nags at you. "What if Akane eats it?" The troll waggles its staff at you. "She is female and thus immune." You stand up and bow to the troll. "Excellent. I shall make preparations at once." The troll nods. "Have a nice meal." You head out of the Nekohanten. You pass a street vendor selling flowers. Buy some flower go to 48 Ignore the vendor and go home to prepare for the party Go to 43 33 Do you use the shaker on the table Go to 36 the shaker in your pocket Go to 16 34 You close your eyes and pray. Whether it be divine blessing or just your razor sharp mind, you remember that Fujishima-sensei was lecturing on the history of the Ainu. In fact he asked you which island most of the remaining Ainu live on. You raise your head and say, "Hokkaido." Fujishima-sensei blinks and says, "Very good, Kunou. Perhaps you were not sleeping in class after all. " He returns to his lecture. You smile. The gods have indeed blessed the Kunou family line. Get one character point and go to 31 35 You send Sasuke to find the pony-tailed girl. Unfortunately, he never makes it back before Lunch is over. Where could she be? Where has that malicious Ranma hidden her away from you? Get 1 character point. Did you buy pictures of the pony-tail girl from Nabiki? If yes go to 88 If no go to 95 36 You notice several others salting their food. You wait, then take the shaker from the table and salt your food. Note down the Letter C and go to 84 37 You don't see Nabiki anywhere. go back to the entry you came from. If you can't remember where you came from, get one character point and go back to 90. 38 You charge Ranma again, swinging your bokken with superb skill. You land several strong blows on Ranma, before he jumps into the air and plants his feet on your face. What a cad, always trying to mar your beauty. You collapse and black out briefly. By the time you recover, the dog has left. Get one character point Go to 95 39 As Ranma strikes you, pictures of Akane fly everywhere. He stops and picks up one of the pictures. "Whatever could you want with a picture of such a Kawaiikune girl? You really are weird, Kunou." Akane screams and grabs Ranma. "You perverted Jerk! Get out of here!" She punts him up over the school and out of sight, then grabs the picture and storms off. "Nabiki!" He is such a coward running away from you like that. You stop, gather the rest of the pictures, and see Akane still in sight arguing with Nabiki. Do you Go back to eating Go to 95 Chase after Akane Go to 70 40 You have had enough. You resolve to simply ignore Ranma. You finish your lunch in silence. Ranma stares at you for a moment, then shrugs. He and Akane go back to fighting. You resolve to be dignified. Go to 95 41 "Sorry, but I have other concerns." You pass the troll and leave. It calls after you. "Your loss. Come to the Nekohanten if you change your mind!" It hops off on its staff. You head home, trying to decide who to invite to your house for dinner. Do you invite Akane Go to 53 The Pony Tail Girl Go to 9 Both! Go to 61 42 Meeting a princess appeals to you. You turn to Belldandy. "The princess it shall be." She smiles. "I thought you would choose that one. Step through the mirror." She touches the mirror, and it ripples like water. You step through and find yourself inside a strange, dark, dank, dismal, but furnished cavern. Strange short green robed humanoids scuttle about. One stops and stares at you. "Are you a terran?" You stare at the monster for a moment, trying to think of what a terran is...then you remember you are one. "I am indeed a terran. I am looking for the princess." The withered green creature looks at you. "Hmm, I am not sure if I should disturb her. She is with her fiancee." A chill runs down your spine at the word fiancee. "I can wait. It is the duty of a Samurai to be patient." The whithered green creature takes you to a table and sits you down. You end up waiting several hours as the strange green creatures scuttle hither and yon on various tasks. You pray that the princess is not one of them. She isn't. Soon a beautiful woman with green hair, horns, and a strange hairpiece emerges from one of the side tunnels with a confused looking japanese teen in tow. She looks much more human than the green critters. She stares at you, as does the teen. He rushes over to you. "Are you from Japan?" he says in japaneese. "Yes, I am." "How did you get here?" He looks shocked to see you. "A goddess sent me here." You reply. "Wow, we must be the only two people from Japan still alive." He looks a little nostalgic. A feeling of horror rushes over you. "The only two people alive?" "Don't you know Japan was destroyed?" He seems shocked you don't know. You are beginning to think that journeying to the world of Outlanders was not the wisest of ideas... The End. 43 You go home and send Sasuke to invite Akane and Ranma over for dinner. He returns with Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, Ryouga, Ranma, Mr. Tendo, and Mr. Saotome in tow. "I'm sorry, Master! I invited her, but everyone else thought they must be invited to." You sigh. This always happens everytime you try to invite Akane over for a nice meal with her one true love, all of these parasites tag along. But at least you get to be with her! And with the help of the troll's magic, true love will finally triumph. You nod to the guests and adjourn to the kitchen. Kodachi is hard at work cooking up a storm, singing merrily. "Thank you brother for inviting Ranma-sama over! I'm so happy, I won't even poison your food tonight just to show I love you!" Rarely have you seen her so happy. Now how are you going to use the magic salt without her catching on? Do you Wait until the food is ready to serve and then salt it Go to 62 Salt all the food, knowing you have the antidote for yourself Go to 93 Switch this magic salt shaker with the regular one sitting nearby so that it will be put on the table, trusting to fate that Saotome will salt his food. Go to 26 44 The horde of people settles in around the table. Kodachi brings out many plates and bowls of steaming hot food. It looks and smells good. And no poison tonight! That alone will be something to remember. She serves Ranma first, the unworthy cur. How you sister can lower herself to like such a miserable wretch is beyond you. You smile in anticipation. She serves you second, then works her way around...pointedly serving Akane last. You sigh. Some day she will appreciate Akane's true worth. Do you salt your food? If yes Go to 33 If no go to 84 45 You ignore Kodachi. She should know better than to taunt a samurai. You finish your breakfast in silence and dignity. Get one character point and go to 46 46 Time to go to school. You sprint out the front door of the mansion. You must hurry if you are to get there in time. You run down the road. Your excellent physique lets you run for hours without getting tired. You know that your many female admirers are quite impressed with your body. You sprint into the school yard just as Nabiki is walking into the courtyard. She looks over at you. "Hello Kunou baby. Interested in buying some new pictures?" If you are interested go to 23 If you ignore her go to 56 If you attack her go to 6 47 Do you pepper you food with the shaker in your pocket go to 27 the shaker on the table.Go to 17 48 You may buy flowers for Akane, the pony-tail girl, or both as you desire. Each bouquet costs 5000 yen. (Get one character point per bouquet) Note that you have them, then go to 43 49 You whip out a pair of scissors and charge Ranma. He blinks in surprise as you try to cut off his pony-tail. You force him back as he strives to avoid getting a bowl cut from you. You can hear your father cheering you on. Finally, Ranma retreats up into a tree. He sticks out his tongue at you, knowing you are not a good climber. You sigh and leave. The victory is yours....but you feel bad you had to use scissors, not a sword to drive off Ranma. Scissors are no weapon for a samurai. Lose one character point Go to 95 50 You run forward and the pony tail girl leaps into your arms! She giggles as you hold her close. You can smell the sweet scent of her perfume...Then Akane gets mad and punches you into next week...but you do not care for the pony tail girl is with you as you tumble airborne.... You feel someone shaking you....and the world fades away...NOOOOO!!!!! Go to 10 51 You glance over at Nabiki. She glances back at you and exposes the words 3000 yen on her notepad. She glances back at you. Do you: Cough up the money 64 Babble incoherently 4 52 53 You decide to invite the beauteous Akane. You send Sasuke to bring her here. He returns with Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, Ryouga, Ranma, Mr. Tendo, and Mr. Saotome in tow. "I'm sorry, Master! I invited her, but everyone else thought they must be invited to." You sigh. This always happens everytime you try to invite Akane over for a nice meal with her one true love, all of these parasites tag along. But at least you get to be with her! Perhaps this evening will pick up after all.... Get one character point. The End. 54 You suddenly realize you have not yet tried to put the amnesia salt in Ranma's food. You need a clever plan to get it in his food. Do you Switch it with the salt shaker on the table? Go to 14 put it on your food and switch plates with him? Go to 72 Bribe Nabiki to salt his food? Go to 98 55 You can't decide...so you will run towards both of them. You run a zig zag path between them. They both stop and stare at you, uncertain of exactly what you are doing. Finally, you collapse in exhaustion and they run over to you. "Kunou darling...what's wrong." You lie there, and they try to shake you awake... Someone is shaking you ...The world fades away...and you see.... Get two Character points and Go to 10 56 You are tired of being taken advantage of by this mercenary girl. Though the thought of the pictures tempts you, you choke back the temptation and simply say, "Perhaps later. I am too busy for pictures now. I must get to class on time." You walk onward. Nabiki stops and stares at you in amazement. Then she too hurries to get to class... Go to 65 57 You stand and gloat! "Yes! I have finally gotten my revenge on Saotome." Suddenly Genma is in your face. "What have you done to my son?" He shakes you like a reed blowing in the wind. Perhaps gloating was an unwise choice. Kodachi starts choking you with a ribbon. "How could you invite Ranma-sama to dinner and betray him." Soon, virtually everyone is beating on you. You soon black out. It felt good to gloat though...but this is not a tremendously happy ending... The End. 58 It is pretty crowded around the dinner table. A dark haired teenage male (Tenchi), his father, his grandfather(your sensei--Youshou), a teenage girl with catlike features and spiky green hair (Ryouko), a thirteen year old (he he) with red spiky hair and catlike features (Wasyuu-chan), an eight year old with three blond pigtails (Sasami), a seventeen year old with black hair and a dignified expression (Aeka), and a giggly blond in some kind of unifrom that looks like a cross between a police uniform and a stewardess outfit(Mihoshi) all sit around the huge table. Everyone eats with enthusiasm, although some, such as Aeka and Youshou, are more dignified than others. You notice that Tenchi is sitting between Aeka and Ryouko who keep glaring at each other over his head. The food is rather strange tasting, but you are used to strange food with your sister as a cook. Tenchi on the other hand is turning a bit green. Ryouko says to Tenchi, "Is it good, Tenchi? He tries to smile and says, "Your cooking is always unique, Ryouko." He looks ready to throw up. You can not help but admire his nobility in not admitting he is going to be sick for fear of hurting her feelings. You, on the other hand, think this is pretty good, although it lacks the minty taste of cyanide that you are used to in soups. "What do you think, Kunou?" Ryouko asks you. Do you Act noncommital Go to 69 Praise her cooking go to 63 Put some anti venom in the butter, just in case. Go to 74 59 You pull the trigger on the rifle. The putty men go down in hordes as you fire off burst after burst. No cheesy goons from a recycled Japanese show are going to overrun the Kunou estate. You see Kodachi wading through hordes of them with ribbons, pins, and an Ak-47. Maybe you shouldn't have called Rita Repulsa a stupid old woman.... Then the Giant Monster of the Week shows up--A huge reanimated giant ape costume with the face of a cow. You wonder dimly how Rita thinks of these critters as you fire a rocket launcher at it. Far off, you can see Saotome also wading through the putty men with Ukyou, Shampoo, and Akane at his side. Even in a time like this, he gets all the women...sigh. The Rocket launcher discomfits the creature, but it keeps coming, crushing the guest house. Where's Science Ninja team Gatchaman, or Ultraman or even Voltron when you need them. Sasuke and the ninjas on the roof of the mansion keep up a steady stream of shuriken at the creature, but it doesn't care. You are all too tiny for it to even notice much. Finally, you see the troll sprinting through the melee on her staff. She pulls out a vial of water and hurls it at the creature, which turns into a tiny little puppy. Then she hefts it and throws it back to the moon..... How embarrassing to be saved by a troll jumping around on a staff. Oh well. You soon mow down the putty men, which die in droves. Boy, are the repair bills going to be bad. But Rita Repulsa will think twice about trying this again. The End 60 As Ranma strikes you, pictures of the pony-tail girl and Akane fly everywhere. He stops and picks up one of the pictures. "AAAHHH!!!!" He starts trying to grab all the pictures. You both dive about trying to get the pictures. "I can't believe you keep buying these pictures!" He says, then picks up a picture of Akane. "And a picture of this kawaiikune tomboy too. I just can't...." Ranma never finishes his sentence, because Akane punts him high into the sky. "So I'm an uncute tomboy, am I? You're a perverted jerk!" Then she grabs the picture that Ranma was holding (it fell on the ground), and runs off looking for Nabiki. Do you follow her go to 70 Forget about all this and finish eating. go to 95 61 Sasuke goes to invite them both, and returns with more than you bargained for. He is leading the entire Tendo household, plus the pony-tail girl (and her panda, who is leading her by the hand). You didn't expect them all to come... "I'm sorry, Master! I invited her, but everyone else thought they must be invited to." You sigh. This always happens everytime you try to invite Akane and the pony-tail girl over for a nice meal with their one true love, all of these parasites tag along. But at least you get to be with both of them! Perhaps this evening will pick up after all.... Get two character points The End. 62 You hang around the kitchen for a minute or two, then Kodachi says, "You need to see to our guests!" Ignoring your protests, she shoos you out of the kitchen into the living room, where your guests are waiting. You do your best to entertain them with witty repartee and your magnificent presence until dinner is ready. Finally, Kodachi emerges and says, "Dinner is served." You are nearly trampled by the hungry horde. Go to 44 63 "Rarely have I had such a lovely meal. Thank you for cooking for us!" You reach for the butter to butter your bread. Ryouko blushes, "Why thank you Kunou. No one ever seems to like my cooking." She glares at everyone. Then she sees you reaching for the butter and grabs it. "Eek. This butter has gone bad." She vanishes with it, then reappears with a fresh bar of butter which she hands to you. Wasyuu-chan raises an eyebrow. "Really? It was fine a little while ago." Ryouko says, "It looked funny. It was too yellow." Mihoshi giggles. "It's supposed to be yellow." You have a feeling something odd is going on here, but you may never know exactly what. No matter. You dig into the food. You think you will enjoy your new life here. The food is good, anyway. A happy ending.! 64 You slip Nabiki the money. She smiles and uncovers the word Hokkaido. You say "Hokkaido." Fujishima-sensei blinks and says, "Very good, Kunou. Perhaps you were not sleeping in class after all. " He returns to his lecture. You smile. It was money well spent. Get one character point and go to 31 65 Class is as boring as usual. You have to put up with endless droning lectures by teachers who are unworthy to tie your shoe laces, let alone act as authorities on some subject in your presence. Only the morning Kendo class provides any relief. They do not call you the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High for nothing! As usual, you demolish the rest of the team....at the same time. Your coach praises your skill. You are the best Kendo practicioner he knows besides himself and his master. You accept the praise as your due. But far too soon it is time to go to history class. As usual, Fujishima-sensei is droning on and on about the Ainu. You have heard enough about the Ainu in the last two days to kill a lesser man than yourself. But you patiently put up with it. Education is necessary for a true Samurai, even the boring parts. Your only regret was that you were too busy teaching Saotome Ranma a lesson yesterday to do the reading. Suddenly, you realize Fujishima-sensei is staring at you. You quickly look at yourself, but your school uniform is on correctly, you were not sleeping, and you have done nothing else wrong as far as you can tell. He taps his foot impatiently. "Well, Mr. Kunou?" Do you babble incoherently? 4 pray to the gods for guidance? 34 attack the insolent dog? 78 look over at Nabiki? 51 66 For a minute or two, everyone is silent as they munch out. Once the first wave of eating is over, conversation starts up. You wait to see if the magic salt the troll gave you actually works. You say to Ranma, "So has Akane thrashed you as thoroughly as you deserve of late?" He stares at you. "Eh? Who's Akane?" You smile. It actually worked. Ryouga stares at his food looking confused. You say, "Hmm...forgotten your fiancee?" Ranma stares at you like you've lost your mind. "Fiancee? I'm engaged to Ukyou, not this Akane person you're talking about." Akane stands up. "What are you talking about, Ranma? I'm your fiancee! Not that Ukyou." Ranma looks at her. "Who are you?" She turns beet red! "I'm your fiancee, you perverted jerk!" Ranma says, "I've already got two fiancees...I don't need three, especially not an uncute tomboy like you!" She howls in anger, grabs Ranma, and punts him out through the ceiling. Then Mr. Tendo turns to her, "Do I know you?" Akane says, "I'm your daughter!" Mr. Tendo pauses and says, "I only have two daughters." Akane screams and runs out of the room. You chase after her. Looks like the troll's plan worked after all. Do you Pull out a bouquet of flowers and follow her (Only if you bought some from the street vendor) Go to 18 Chase her without flowers Go to 98 Stay here and gloat Go to 57 67 No. Thoughts of women will not sway you from your training. One day you will be reunited with them. Until then, you will be patient. Go to 58 68 You kick open the door. "There you are, you forgetful dog!" The door opens onto a large room. You see before you a combination bedroom and workplace. There is a parrot stand just to the right of the doorway as you come in. A parrot sits on the stand, staring at you. Off by the left wall is a canopied four post bed. It is covered with blankets and sheets, overlaid by a coverlet with images of you, Ranma, Akane, and many other of your friends and associates from Nerima. Drawings, wise sayings, anime art, posters, and other things litter the walls over the bed. There is a long bookcase full of gaming supplies, paper, dice, and miniatures along the wall to the left of the door. Between it and the bed is a large table covered with drawings from a half done dojinshi. In the right half of the room is a desk and chair with a light over it. There is also a big screen TV with three VCRs and an LD player, a big box of tapes, and the stereo system. The desk is covered with partly written stories, records, letters from cast members, etc. There is a sign that says Giant Wombat Studio HQ over the desk. On the bed is a pair of dolls and two people. One doll is of a small green haired woman with spiky hair in a red and green outfit hovering over the bed's canopy. The other is a much battered rabbit sitting on one of the pillows, watching the two people tussle on the bed. They appear to be in the middle of a tickle fight. You aren't sure who the green haired girl with horns and a strange head piece is, but you certainly recognize the Dread Space Pirate Bailesu, who marooned you in fanfic limbo in that Right Place story! The time has come for revenge! You whip out your bokken and charge! They are unaware of you until you strike the Dread space pirate. He goes down with the single blow, moaning on the floor. The woman with him draws a longsword, crackling with lightning! You start as she strikes your bokken, breaking it into tiny bits. She advances on you with a gleam of anger in her eyes. Perhaps you are overmatched. "How dare you attack Bailesu-san!" Perhaps seeking revenge for being forgotten was not a good idea. You turn and flee through the hallways of the ship with the alien Princess in hot pursuit. Yes, this was definitely a foolish idea.... The End 69 "It is not the same as home cooking, but it is okay." You reach out and grab the butter and start buttering your bread. Ryouko looks a little disappointed. Perhaps complimenting her would have been more polite. You munch out on the buttered bread. Ryouko starts, seemingly having remembered or noticed something. Your head begins to swim. Sasami looks over at you. "Are you okay, oneechan?" It is getting hot in here. Perhaps you should take off some clothing. Yes, that would be wise. It is much too hot. You start stripping down. Aeka eeks and hides her eyes, and covers Sasami's eyes. "Why is oneechan turning purple?" "Don't look, Sasami!" Aeka says. Everyone else just stares at you. You are mostly naked by the time Wasyuu-chan says, "Ah, Betelgeusan crab poisoning. I recognize the symptoms. She grabs you by the hand and drags you off towards the hallway. Don't worry, Ryouko must have poisoned the butter. But I'll have you okay in a jiffy." She turns to Ryouko. "Next time, daughter, put it in Aeka's food, not the butter where it will embarrass our guests." Aeka turns and glares at Ryouko, who pales a bit and vanishes as Aeka leaps at her. Then Wasyuu-chan drags you off to the lab.... Looks like life won't be boring here! The End. 70 You see Akane arguing with Nabiki. "How can you be so mercenary, selling pictures of me to everyone!" "I offered to give you a fair cut if you would pose for them, but you said no. So I keep it all for myself." Nabiki replies. Akane fumes, but seems unsure what to say. Do you Chastise Nabiki for her mercenary ways Go to 80 Attack Nabiki Go to 6 Throw yourself at Akane Go to 94 Give up, eat lunch and leave Go to 95 71 While Giant Robo would certainly make mincemeat of Cologne if it ever managed to hit her....You aren't Daisuke, and you certainly don't have Giant Robo at your command. Nice idea, though. The troll strikes you in the head while you keep yelling, "Giant Robo, Attack!" Darkness closes in. The last thing you hear is, "Who the heck is Giant Robo?" "Maybe he meant Sheriff Lobo?" The End. 72 You quietly salt your plate with the magic salt, then try to come up with a way to switch plates with Ranma. You just can't think of a good way. However, eventually Ranma and Akane start fighting as usual. While they are distracted, you switch plates with Ranma. He aimlessly gobbles down food while arguing...and soon the salt takes effect.... Go to 79. 73 You decide to take a walk. The forest is pleasant, a vast green hilly thickly wooded expanse, broken by seemingly everpresent carrot fields. Why these people need so many carrots, you have no idea. You see a teenage boy hoeing one of the fields. He looks up and waves. "Hi, my name is Tenchi." You bow. "I am Kunou Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" He nods. "Nice to meet you. Are you here to train with grandpa?" You blink. This is your sensei's grandson? Hoeing the fields? What offense did he commit. Menial labor is beneath the true warrior. You are not sure what to say next. "Your grandfather mentioned some friends of yours dwell here?" Tenchi smiles. "We have a whole host of visitors. Do you...believe in aliens?" "Aliens? I pay no attention to silly UFO stories." Such silly tales of alien abduction. He smiles again. "You may be in for a surprise, then." Suddenly a strange woman, evocative of a cat, dressed in a tight red and green outfit steps out of nowhere. She cuddles up to Tenchi, who blushes a bit. "Time for dinner, Tenchi. You'll like what I made for you." Tenchi rolls his eyes. "Yes, of course I will." She picks him up, but he says to her, "I'm going to walk back with Kunou, father's new student." She frowns, then says, "Will you sit next to me then at dinner, Tenchi?" You can see she is obviously infatuated with him. You clear your throat and prepare to introduce yourself. "Yes," Tenchi sighs. The woman smiles and vanishes. "That was Ryouko." "How did she..." How could she vanish like that? "She is an alien. Come on...let's go eat." You follow Tenchi contemplating all of this... Go to 58 74 You can't quite shake the suspicion that someone has poisoned the butter. While you yammer something mindless to keep Ryouko focused on your head, you quietly slip a packet of anti-toxin powder out of your pocket. You casually get the butter and sprinkle anti-toxin on it, then spread some on your bread. Better test it yourself, first. Ryouko's eyes bug as she sees you about to eat buttered bread. She reaches across the table, "No, don't eat that....!" Too late. You eat it. Everyone stares at her. Nothing bad happens. Youshou says to Ryouko, "What was that all about?" Ryouko blushes, "Nothing. Just that I...nothing." Aeka stares at her. "Just that you what?" Ryouko says, "Uh, er...I thought it had gone bad. Yes, that was it." Aeka says, "Bad?" Wasyuu-chan says to Ryouko, "Nice try, but it obviously didn't work Ryouko, or Kunou would be turning purple by now and trying to take his clothing off." She giggles. "You should have chosen something only your target would eat." Tenchi shakes his head and moans. It could be disgust, or it could be Ryouko's cooking... You wonder who the drug was for, but thank the gods your anti-toxin worked. That could have been embarrasing,. So who did Ryouko want to embarrass? At least you won't be bored here. Get one Character point A fairly happy ending.... 75 Nabiki subtly slips the magic salt into Ranma's food. Time for him to get enchanted.... Go to 79. 76 You decide to take a bath after your workout. The bathing facilities are much like what you had at home, but simpler. You scrub yourself clean and feel much better. No more Ranma.... It is at this point that it truly hits you that you may never see Akane and the pony-tail girl again. As you get out and towel yourself dry, you wonder if you could ever stand to live without them. For months, they have been the focus of your life. Was coming here a mistake? Everyone here has been friendly, but you don't know if life without your lovely ladies is worth it, even if it means seeing Ranma again. do you wish to go back? go to 89 Or stay here? Go to 67 77 If you have been told to remember E go to 66 If not, go to 85. 78 You have had enough from this insolent dog! You draw your bokken, leap over your desk and attack! You thoroughly thrash the old insolent man. He soon collapses, yelping with pain. The class stares at you. Suddenly you realize you have just attacked your teacher, a middle aged man, who was only doing his job. You are shamed. Your father comes and yells at you. You are humiliated. You are unable to face the class. You meekly submit to your father shaving your head. He sends you home for the day to contemplate your sins. Lose five character points and come to the end. The End. 79 Ranma looks at Akane, and blinks. "Well...I...do I know you?" Akane stares back at him. "You can't wiggle out of this that way, Ranma!" "I have no idea who you are," Ranma says. She stares at him. You say, "That's Akane, Ranma." You have to see if he has really forgotten her. He stares at you. "Eh? Akane?" You smile. It actually worked. Ryouga stares at his food looking confused. You say, "Hmm...forgotten your fiancee?" Ranma stares at you like you've lost your mind. "Fiancee? I'm engaged to Ukyou, not this Akane person you're talking about." Akane stands up. "What are you talking about, Ranma? I'm your fiancee! Not that Ukyou." Ranma looks at her. "Who are you?" She turns beet red! "I'm your fiancee, you perverted jerk!" Ranma says, "I've already got two fiancees...I don't need three, especially not an uncute tomboy like you!" She howls in anger, grabs Ranma, and punts him out through the ceiling. He yells, "I still don't know who you are!!!!" Akane screams and runs out of the room. You chase after her. Looks like the troll's plan worked after all. Do you Pull out a bouquet of flowers and follow her (Only if you bought some from the street vendor) Go to 18 Chase her without flowers Go to 98 Stay here and gloat Go to 57 80 "Nabiki, how can you be so unfeeling towards your sister? You should love and cherish her as I do. Making her unhappy is very unsisterly of you. Change and repent before it is too late." That should teach her not to make Akane unhappy. Nabiki looks at you and smiles. "Sure thing, Kunou baby. It's her own fault. I offered to share with her, but she didn't want any of the money. And I couldn't stand to let you down by not providing you with the pictures you like so much. I just wanted to make both of you happy." She sighs and looks sad. "I try so hard to help people. I just don't understand why things go wrong." She flutters her eyelids at you. Do you Accept Nabiki's apology Go to 3 Act sceptical Go to 20 Attack Nabiki Go to 6 Throw yourself at Akane Go to 94 81 Perhaps simply living in another city would be nice. "I think moving would be nice." Belldandy smiles. "Well, that's an easy one." She stands and opens her arms wide. A beam of energy shoots down from the sky, enveloping her. The room glows brightly. Then it vanishes and she goes limp for a moment. "Your wish has been ratified. In the morning, you will awake and you will be living in another city. We even threw in a bonus deal where you will have all the information you need to live there implanted in your head while you sleep. " The rest of the day goes quickly. You go to sleep and hope to awaken somewhere new...somewhere completely without Ranma. You awaken and prepare to go to school. Your sister joins you on the way to school. You stare at her for a moment. She smiles. "Belldandy asked if I wanted to go with you and I said yes. She told me we'd be going to the same school." Sasuke drives you to school today. You want to make a grand enterance. You drive up in front of the school and get out. There is some sort of riot going on in front of the school. A girl with reddish-brown hair is tossing desks at a brown haired boy with a hentai expression on his face who is chasing some black haired girl. Meanwhile, a green haired girl with horns is flying after the brown haired boy, throwing lightning at him. She is being chased by a dignified and handsome young man in a white suit, who has a sword strapped to his belt. Four guys are trying to chase after the hentai for no apparent reason. Your sister giggles. "This looks like fun!" She bounces forward, whipping out a ribbon and dives into the horde, randomly snaring people with her ribbon and generally running rampant. Suddenly, everyone turns and looks at you. Several women swoon. "Oh, how handsome." The young man with the sword, the incredibly strong girl, the hentai, the green haired flying girl, and all the others turn and stare at you. You nod. The dignified young man with the sword speaks. "Welcome to Furinkan High School. I am Mendo Shutaro, class Vice-President." The hentai speaks, "And I'm Morobishi Ataru, Class President! He's just my flunky." The dignified young man glares at him. Perhaps here you will be appreciated. Or perhaps not.....But whatever may come, it is certain to be interesting... The End. Of this story anyway... 82 This horrible troll must be after your Akane! Or maybe it is the demon Ranma sold his soul to for his magical powers he uses to whisk away the pony-tail girl from you. You draw your bokken and attack. "I will not succumb to your tricks, demon!" You drive it back, then it sighs. "I never realized you were this stupid." It polevaults over your head with its staff, then thwacks the back of your knees. You fall, and it runs up your back and raises its staff to poke your neck. do you Summon Giant Robo Go to 71 Agree to consider its plan Go to 8 Roll over Go to 91. 83 How dare that wretch insult the cooking of the Beauteous Akane! You grab the lunch box and wolf down the food she had prepared. It is so exquisite that you pass out...obviously from sheer ecstasy. The last thing you hear is Ranma saying, "Wow, he ate the whole thing." You wake up just in time for class. Get two character points. Go to 95 84 Do you pepper your food? If yes go to 47 If no go to 97 85 The food is excellent. You munch out. You look up, with a vague feeling as if you have forgotten something. You look around the table. Many of the other men look confused too. And who is that dark haired girl over there? She is kinda cute, but you don't know who she is. Mr. Tendo only has two daughters after all, Nabiki and Kasumi. Who could she be? Perhaps you should ask someone who she is. Yep, you ate the food with the magic salt! Big silly. Luckily, it wears off in a few days...but by then it may be too late....But you get char. points for The End 86 You head over to the kitchen to see who the mysterious cook is. As you head in, you can smell a variety of strange odors. It smells like your lab. Two women are hard at work. One looks like a thirteen year old girl with red spiky hair and a catlike face. The other looks to be about eighteen, with a similar hairstyle, but green hair. Their similar features mark them as obviously related. Sisters, perhaps? They are hard at work cooking. The red head is reading instructions from a book to the green haired girl, who is working hard to keep up with the rapid instructions. She zips about the kitchen at high speed, chopping, stirring and measuring. The red head turns and looks at you. "Hi! You must be Youshou's new student." She smiles up at you. "I'm Wasyuu-chan and this is my daughter, Ryouko." You blink. There must be some mistake. She looks younger than Ryouko. You nod. "I am Kunou Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" They nod appreciatively. Ryouko looks at you for a moment. "What planet is that on?" You are confused. "What planet? I live on the Earth, just like you." What a strange question. Ryouko nods, and is about to speak when you hear a pot rattle a bit nearby. It looks like some kind of soup. You watch it for a moment, and see a tentacle rise up out of the broth for a moment. Ryouko dashes over, conjures up a green energy blade and stabs down into the soup. The tentacle chars and sinks back in. Wasyuu-chan waggles her finger at Ryouko. "You kill it first, then cook it Ryouko." Ryouko says, "I'll try to remember that." Well, at least it smells pleasant. Soon, it is time for dinner. Go to 58 87 You chase after Akane, trying to get her to stop running. She flees into one of the bedrooms and starts crying. You approach her. "Let me comfort you, darling Akane!" She turns and punts you into orbit....but you don't care. Akane will soon be yours! Ranma has forgotten her, and so has everyone else but you! Well, until the magic salt wears off anyway. Not the absolute best ending...but one of the better ones. Gain one character point for being foolish enough to catch yourself with your own trick. The End 88 You lose yourself in contemplation of the pony-tail girl. She is so lively and happy. Her smile fills your heart with joy. You could stare at these pictures forever. If only she could be with you. But that evil Saotome has stolen her from you. He locks her away with evil magic. How can he be so vile as to enslave all the women that seem to desire him. You know he must be performing black magic to have so many women fawn on his unworthy self. Suddenly, you hear his unworthy voice. "I can't eat that, Akane! I'm not hungry!" You look up and see Ranma backing away from Akane, advancing on him with a lunch box and a spoon. The pathetic wretch is backing away from her. Do you Throw yourself at Akane 94 Attack the miserable wretch 29 offer to eat Akane's cooking 83 89 You can't take it any longer. You miss Akane and the pony-tail girl too much to ever give them up....You close your eyes and think of them.... go to 1 90 You stagger back, battered, but not broken. You counter-attack, forcing Ranma to leap away from you into a tree to avoid your skillful blows. He leaps down behind you and trips you. You fall down. He laughs and starts to walk away. You get up and charge. He leaps to one side, and kicks you in the back augmenting your momentum. You fly into a tree. You barely stagger to your feet. do you Use the Kunou Family Special Maneuver go to 49 Flee screaming Go to 92 Attack Nabiki go to 37 Defeat Ranma with your superior Kendo skills go to 38 91 You roll over, sending the troll flying off you. It gets back up, and hops forward with its pole. You charge forward, and it dodges to one side, then pokes you with its staff. You collapse in agony and the darkness closes in. The last thing you hear is, "Bah...that was too easy. I really need to find someone to give me a real challenge." You awaken tommorrow....and tommorrow is another day. The End. 92 Kunou would never flee screaming. Lose one character point for suggesting such a thing and go back to 90 93 You quietly follow Kodachi around the kitchen salting all the food. You smile at the thought that Akane will soon be yours. You hang around the kitchen for a minute or two, then Kodachi says, "You need to see to our guests!" Ignoring your protests, she shoos you out of the kitchen into the living room, where your guests are waiting. You do your best to entertain them with witty repartee and your magnificent presence until dinner is ready. Finally, Kodachi emerges and says, "Dinner is served." You are nearly trampled by the hungry horde. Note down the Letter A Go to 44 94 You throw yourself at Akane, unable to resist her presence any longer. "Oh lovely Akane, I cannot resist you!" You hold her close. "If only we could always be this close!" You hand her a bouquet of flowers you had handy. You know these will awe her. Saotome glares at you. "Get off my Fiancee!" Get one Character point Do you Attack the insolent dog Go to 29 Ignore him Go to 96 95 Lunch is over. Another boring afternoon of school breezes by. You finally finish all of your classes. As you head down the hall, you contemplate whether to invite Akane, the pony-tail girl, or both of them to dine with you tonight. You bump into something no taller than your knees. You look down. A hideous troll is standing before you. The troll says, "I wish to speak with you, Kunou Tatewaki." You are amazed. Even the monsters know who you are. "Speak, troll." The monster pulls out a staff and thwacks your legs. "I am not a troll. I am Cologne, Shampoo's great grandmother. I think we can help each other." Do you Listen to the Troll's spiel-- Go to 8 Ignore it and decide who to invite--Go to 41 Attack the hideous monster--Go to 82 96 You ignore Ranma's ranting and continue to embrace Akane. Somehow, he slips between the two of you and tosses you high into the sky. Akane would never attack you while you were embracing her. You soar high into the sky.... And land after Lunch is over. Go to 95 97 Boy are you hungry. You dig into the food, along with everyone else. Now.... If you have been told to remember A go to 13 If you have been told to remember B go to 28 If neither of these apply, go to 54 98 You whisper to Nabiki, "I'll pay you to put this in Ranma's food." You gesture with the salt shaker subtly. She smiles. "Never realized you had a sense of humor, Kunou. I'll do it for 5,000 yen." Do you pay her Yes? Go to 75 No? go to 54 99 "You are getting sloppy, sister. Anyone could live through this. You forgot the arsenic entirely." Kodachi wilts like a dead rose. "But...what about the black lotus petals?" You point to where you put them on the side of the plate. "Nice try, but they stand out rather badly when the rest of the meal is not black." Kodachi pouts and you finish your breakfast. Go to 46 100 "I think I would like to see my room." Sensei ushers you down the hallway to your room. The building is a traditional Japanese home, and your room is much like any other Japanese bed room. You soon stow your meager possessions. Interestingly, there are many things of yours here you did not bring and are glad not to lose. You find a note pinned to your blanket. "Thought you would want these, so we had them brought here for you." Belldandy. You smile. The gods are indeed kind. You could Take a bath before dinner Go to 76 Take a walk Go to 73 Check out who is cooking Go to 86 101 You just can't take it anymore. You storm out out and go home. Life is just being too hard on you. Why can't you live somewhere a samurai of your stature would be appreciated. You get out the prayer book from the family shrine and start looking for a prayer to ask the gods to deliver you from this evil life you are trapped in. You hope the gods will get around to it before Kodachi comes home. You finally find a prayer for deliverance. You repeat the chant, "Oh mighty gods in heaven, please, please, please get me out of here!" over and over and over and over.... Hours later, the mirror near the family shrine shimmers. Out steps one of the most lovely women you have ever seen in your life. She has long flowing ash-blond hair and a lovely elaborate dress on. She smiles at you. "The gods have heard your request and had mercy on you. I have come to liberate you from your misery. I am Belldandy, from the Goddess Relief Office. Would you rather train with a noble samurai, fight the forces of darkness, meet a beautiful princess, or just move to a different city?" If you want to train with a noble Samurai, go to 7 If you want to fight the forces of Darkness, go to 21 If you want to meet a beautiful princess, go to 42 If you want to go to a different city, go to 81. ******************** The Scoring system -5 or lower: Boy, you don't know how Kunou acts, do you...You should try more intelligent roles, perhaps. -1 to -4 You aren't being in character. Tsk, tsk. 0 points: How bland 1 to 4 Nice roleplaying 5-8: Very good roleplaying 9+ Wow! You really know how Kunou thinks...that's scary. Credit goes where credit is due: To the unsung genius who invented the choose your own adventure genre! I still remember the first one I ever read. To Takahashi Rumiko, the creator of Ranma 1/2 and that loveable moron, Kunou Tatewaki To Leslie Mills, whose Sailor Moon Choose your own adventure motivated me to try a Kunou story. To Princess Kahm, who gave me a few ideas for this story without even knowing for sure what she was doing...(And who gets a cameo in this story!) Send your comments, criticisms, money, letterbombs to johnbil@wam.umd.edu say Next project---Finally finishing a story starring Ukyou! John biles johnbil@wam.umd.edu