Subject: Ranma fanfic: Kasumi's Story - Chapter 3 Here is Chapter 3. I took the opening line from a suggestion by rang@ics.uci.edu, it was just too good to ignore. Thanks! This time I remembered the guy's name, or at least his user id. He also reminded me about the Chip 'N Dales reference. A poster made a reference to it and that gave me the inspiration to write this part. Unfortunately I forgot the original poster's name. Sorry, well I hope you enjoy the story nevertheless. Finally, in case any one misinterpreted my comments about talking Panda's, I was only joking, please don't take any remarks as flames. Imagine a big smiley face everytime the Panda/Genma was "speaking" [Sign]: Gomen. Let's all try and have a happy ChrisTmas :-) Ranma Fan-Fiction Kasumi's Story Chapter 3 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [ Ryouga has just told the news about Kasumi. Ranma and Akane are in shock ] Ramma: It's finally happened. She finally snapped. Akane: Oneesan is going through a complete mental breakdown. Ranma: No, don't you see, it's a reaction to years of repression. Akane: It's a breakdown. Ranma: It's repression. Akane: Breakdown. Ranma: Repression. Akane: Breakdown! Ranma: Repression! Akane: Stupid boy. Ranma: Stubborn girl. Ryouga: I think Akane-san is right, it's a breakdown! Ranma: How would you know? Ryouga: Well, ummm, err.. Akane: I just happen to know Kasumi-oneessan the longest. Ryouga: YES! Akane-san just happens to know... Ranma: That's not important! We can't just stand here arguing, we have to go after Kasumi! Akane: You're right Ranma. We better leave right away, there's no telling what trouble Kasumi-oneesan might be getting into. Ranma: No Akane, not you. You're staying here. Akane: What?! If you think I'm going to just stay... Ryouga: Please Akane-san, for once Ranma is right. There are just some places a girl shouldn't go. We're going to be going to a very bad neighborhood. Please stay for our sakes. Akane: Ryouga-kun.... But I... Ranma: Unless you're really interested in seeing a bunch of sweaty foreign guys taking off their clothes... Akane: [ fuming ] No!! .... [ sadly ] But... Ranma: Trust me Akane, you'll be more help to us here. Ryouga and I are going to have enough trouble worrying about what may happen to Kasumi without having to worry about what may happen to you. Akane: .... Ranma: C'mon Ryouga let's go. [ Both Ranma and Ryouga race off ] Akane: Hurry Ranma... [ Suddenly Ranma returns ] Ranma: It's repression!!! [ Ranma runs back out ] [ In some residential area ] Ryouga: Blast! Where did Ranma go? He ran so fast I lost track of him. I was so sure he came this way. Ryouga: There's no time to lose, I'd better ask directions. [ A housewife is putting up her wash ] Ryouga: Excuse me, ma'am, could you please tell me the way to "Strip 'N Dale's" ? Housewife: What!? What kind of woman do you think I am? [ Proceeds to throw washing bins at Ryouga ] Ryouga: Ouch! I better ask somebody else. [ There's a delivery man coming ] Ryouga: Excuse me, sir, do you know the directions to "Strip 'N Dale's" ? Delivery Man: What are you? Some kind of weirdo? Get out of my way! Ryouga: Rats! Better ask again. [ Some school girls are on their way home... ] Ryouga: Excuse me, do you know how to get to [ blushing ] "Strip 'N Dales?" ... Never mind... Girls: Kyaaa!!! Pervert!! Help!!! [ Needless to say they need no help, they plummet Ryouga and run off ] Ryouga: Can't give up... This is for Akane-san... Excuse me, do you know the way to "Strip 'N Dale's" ? [ This time he asks an old woman ] Old woman: What a thing to ask an old lady! Have some respect! [ Proceeds to beat on Ryouga's head with her cane. ] Ryouga: No wait!! You've got it all wrong! [ Ryouga manages to escape after a while ] Ryouga: ... Can't give up.... Excuse me, how do I get to "Strip 'N Dales?" [ This time he asks some young man. The guy turns out to be pretty muscular and he has a short ponytail. He looks suprised when asked, but then proceeds to look Ryouga over ] Man: ...Body-building. Ryouga: ..eh? Man: But you're still young so you still have a chance. Keep exercising. Some day you might get there. [ As the guy walks off, Ryouga just stares out blankly ] Ryouga: ..... Ryouga: ARRRRHHH!! Ranma, where are you?! [ At some other neighborhood ] Ranma: Blast! Where's Ryouga? I thought he was following me. Jerk, I bet he's going to try to hit on Akane now. Forget about him, I don't have any time to waste. Hmm, I wonder how to get to this place anyway? [ Ranma spies a telephone booth and checks it's phonebook ] Ranma: Let's see... S... Sashimi... no.... Saotome .... no.... .. Shipping... no .... I think it's spelled 'S'-'T'-'R'-'U'... ahh here it is... [ Ranma finally arrives at the destination, The neighborhood looks very rough and it is about night-time. There is a modern rectangular building with "StriB 'N Dale's" displayed in large Neon lights. Smaller signs such as "Live Guys!" and "Triple Y" are also flashing ] Ranma: This must be it... [ Ranma proceeds to walk up to the front door ] Bouncer: Hey kid, you're not allowed. [ The Bouncer turns out to be the same guy Ryouga met before. He looks the same but now he's wearing some sort of Martial Arts outfit especially designed to show off his "cleavage" ] Ranma: What do you mean? Bouncer: Ladies only, gotcha? You wouldn't be interested in the show. Ranma: I'm not interested in your show. I'm here to find this girl... Bouncer: Oh, in that case, the place you want is down the street. Ranma: No! I'm looking for this girl I know.. Bouncer: Oh, I get it. Well sorry kid but this isn't a singles bar. That's two blocks up the street on your left. Ranma: [ boiling ] YOU IDIOT! I'M LOOKING FOR MY FRIEND WHO MAY BE VERY SICK..... Bouncer: Well, that's the only kind we have in here. Nice girls aren't really interested in places like this. Ranma: Look, if you'll just let me check if... Bouncer: Sorry, but the anonymity of our guests is held completely confidential, especially from horny little kids like you. Ranma: ARRHHH! Just get out of my way! [ Ranma and the Bouncer exchange a couple of blows. Suprisingly Ranma is actually thrown back. ] Ranma: Oof! This guy is pretty good. Bouncer: You're not bad, kid, for a brat. Now why don't you beat it before I get my pals and we really get mean. We have no compunctions against beatting the tar out of babies... Ranma: Blast! I could probably beat this guy, but I can't waste any more time. Ranma: [ Shaking his fist ] Just you wait, I'll be right back!! Bouncer: Commercial breaks only work when you're still on TV, kid. Ranma: Who *is* this guy? [ A short break later... ] Ranma-chan: Excuse me, coming through. [ We see Ranma is now in girl form and he has also managed to slip into a flashy dress ] Bouncer: Wait a minute! Ranma-chan: [ thinking ] Blast! What now? [ innocently ] What's seems to be the problem, sir? Bouncer: ID. Ranma-chan: WHAT? Bouncer: ID. You have to be 18 or older to go in. And you look pretty young. Ranma-chan: You've got to be kidding! Bouncer: Hey, I can't break the rules, I have to follow them. Bones, however, I can break. Ranma-chan: [ thinking ] Blast! The only ID I have is my school ID and it's of me as a man, and only 16 years old. Ranma-chan: Oh come on, don't you think I look pretty old? [ Ranma-chan tries flirting with the Bouncer ] Bouncer: No, not really. And if you're going to try and entice me, you really should get some sex appeal first. Ranma-chan: What?! Bouncer: Well I take it back. You do look old, your legs do at any rate. They kind of look like my grandmother's. Ranma-chan: [ furious ] Why you....! Bouncer: Oooh you're getting mad, aren't you? Keep it up, keep it up! It's giving you more and more wrinkles. You're looking older by the second! Ranma-chan: [ about to explode ] N-N..... [ some gibberish ] Bouncer: Now you're talking, sounding AND looking like my grandmother. Minus her fimininity of course. Wow, what a *busu* [ ugly girl ]..... Ranma-chan: THAT DID IT!!! [ Ranma-chan gut-punches the Bouncer. He lets out a satisfying groan of pain. ] Bouncer: didn't ... hurt... a .. bit... [ Ranma-chan then gives him 2 kicks in the face, a roundhouse kick, a power back kick and then finishes up this an uppercross which knocks the Bouncer unconsious ] Ranma-chan: Hmmf! And he had to nerve to say I'm not feminine. [ Ranma-chan walks in the club ] Bouncer: What a tomboy... Boy, she sure is cute... I think I'm in love... [ Falls unconscious ] [ Inside the club, there is about a 50 women of all ages all yelling and shouting. In the center is a stage with some guy stripping down to a small swimsuit. He was apparently wearing some sort of furry black and white suit. ] Ranma-chan: Was that..? Nah, couldn't be... Now let's see if I can find Kasumi.... [ Ranma-chan looks all over, he finally sees someone he recognizes ] Ranma-chan: Nabiki...! Nabiki: GO! GO!... ....eh? Ranma...! Ranma-chan & Nabiki: What are you doing here? Ranma-chan: I should have known you would stoop to this level... Nabiki: You should talk! I never knew your tastes came into this area... Ranma-chan: What... What are you saying?! I'm a MAN! 100% Man! [ Some bystanders overhear this and start staring at the two ] [ At that point the next show begins, Mr. Fireman! He is wearing a firefighter's uniform over a swimsuit and a wet T-shirt. He is also carrying a waterhose which he uses to spray some of the audience with. And the temperature happens to be a little... ] Ranma: Wahhhh!!! Warm! Nabiki: Oh no! [ A commotion starts, some girls start screaming. A group of Bouncers start to head toward Ranma and Nabiki ] Nabiki: Quick Ranma, take off your dress and get on the stage. Pretend you're one of the acts. Ranma: What?! Are you crazy? Nabiki: Ranma, there's no time to argue. Those guys aren't very nice and they play for keeps. Go! Buy some time while I think of something. Ranma: Well, I dunno... Nabiki: Hurry!! Unless you like standing around in a dress as a MAN. Ranma: But.... [ Nabiki rips the dress of Ranma, leaving him in his underwear ] Ranma: ARHH! There's no turning back now.... Besides, having Nabiki with me is better than having her against me [ Ranma jumps on the stage. He just stands there not sure of what to do. Everyone is just staring at him ] Nabiki: Ranma! Dance! And start stripping! Ranma: What? No way! Nabiki: Just pretend! I'm working on a plan. Ranma: [ blushing] She better think of something fast. [ Ranma proceeds to follow Nabiki's instructions as best as his pride will allow ] Girl1: Kyaa!! It's Ranma! Girl2: Ohmigosh! You're right! Girl3: I never knew he was that kind of a person! Ranma: [ to himself ] What?! Those girls, they're from Furinkan Koukou! What in....? How did they get in? For that matter how did Nabiki get in? [ out loud ] Nabiki!! What's the plan?!? Nabiki!! Nabiki? NABIKI!!!! [ outside ] Nabiki: Whew! Just got out in time before anyone saw me. Luckily they were all concentrating on Ranma... Looks like my plan worked. Bouncer: [ coming around ] Good ...evening, please... come... again... [ falls unconscious again ] Nabiki: What a fool. He can't even tell fake ID from the real thing. [ In another part of the city ] Ryouga: Please! I just want to know how to get to "Strip 'N Dales's" ! ARHHHH!!!! [ Elsewhere, in a more quieter area, a cheery little restaurant is open for business ] Kasumi: Oh! I'm sorry I'm late! I've just had this very big headache for days now. It makes thinking very hard sometimes. Friend1: No problem Kasumi-chan. Did you have any trouble finding the restaurant? Kasumi: A little, my english isn't very good. Friend2: Well welcome to: "Shipped iN Daily"! They have fresh imported food from all over the world! Kasumi: Oh, I'm simple starved! Oh Waiter! ... Waiter! ... Waiter ... WAITER!!!!! Friend3: You know, do you notice anything different about Kasumi-chan from the last time we saw her? Friend1: Hmm, I don't know..... Is she wearing make-up?.... [ Back at the Club ] Bouncer1: Who the heck is that? Bouncer2: I'm not sure... Bouncer3: What are we going to do about it? Bouncer4: Nothing until he gets off, we don't want to start any trouble while there's customers.... Ranma: Nabiki!!!! Nabiki, when I get my hands on you...!!! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= End of Chapter 3 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= This is the last posting for a while, I REALLY have to start grinding down for my finals. [ busu - A very bad insult to a girl, not translated very well ] Also tell me if my jokes are getting stale or lame, I can't tell since I'm reading them over and over. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "But that doesn't make any sense..." So maybe I was mistaken, maybe not. Don't trust in the storyteller, trust only in the STORY. -Paraphrased from Sandman #38