Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.stories Path: prodigy.com!prodigy.com!uunet!world!megazone From: Chris Schumacher Subject: Mamono Hunter Ranma 1/2 [FanFic] Message-ID: Followup-To: poster X-World-Archive: Ranma/ranma.mamono.hunter.gz Sender: megazone@world.std.com (MegaZone) Organization: Delphi (info@delphi.com email, 800-695-4005 voice) Date: Wed, 12 Apr 1995 23:37:22 GMT Approved: megazone@world.std.com Lines: 708 ----> Begin Mamono Hunter Ranma 1/2 #1 ! Author's Foreword:I think this might take a while to explain, as a break from the Crys Saga, I've decided to work on an idea that's been nagging at me for quite a while. While reading Steve Tsai's "Sailor Ranma" I got to thinking..... If we could cross Ranma and Sailor moon, why can't we cross Mamono Hunter Yohko and Ranma 1/2? This FanFic will be wacky, zany, strange, errie, frightening, and a little obscene in parts. But, then again, what are FanFics for? Also, I stole the idea of the transformation of Ranma into MH Ranma from Sailor Ranma. So, let's just get that out of the way here and now. Also, to Megazone, this is NOT an ongoing series, there will probably only be three installements, if that, so they can be "Glued" together. Secondary Note:This follows MHY a lot more closely than SR follows Sailor Moon. So, be forewarned. (We hear a clicking noise. The real irritating music that greets every episode of MHY starts up. We see an image of Ranma-Chan wielding a soul sword as she jumps across the screen. It fades away to the logo) MAMONO HUNTER RANMA 1/2 (We see a serene clearing with a tree in it. Ukyo and Ranma are sitting under it) Ranma:Ukyo, I just want you to know, this is my first time. Ukyo:Mine too. Ranma:Ukyo! (We cut ahead to them lying on top of each other. A tentacle starts to wrap around Ukyo's leg.) Ukyo:Ranma, you're so aggresive. Ulp! (We see that a huge monster is appearing behind them. The tentacle is connected to it. It pulls Ukyo up and shoves it near its mouth) Ranma:Ukyo! (Ukyo turns around in one last futile glance. Her faces becomes that of a zombie.) Ranma:No!!!!!!!! (He closes his eyes tight in fear. He wakes up. A frying pan falls on him and he falls out of bed) Genma:Not good, son. You're reflexes were .5 seconds slower this time. And before, they weren't that good. Ranma:For cripes sake, pop, I was sleeping! Genma:(Holding forward finger and speaking in authoritive tone) Women are born with dexterity, men only strength. You must never forget that. Ranma:(Sigh) Yes, Grandfather. (To himself) And it's like this every morning! (Author's note:Yes, in this FanFic, Genma is Ranma's Grandfather. Don't like it? Tough.) (We see them go out to breakfast. It is not the Tendou Dojo, it is an apartment somewhere in Nerima) Nodoka:Did you sleep well, Ranma? Ranma:Ah, yeah, sorta. Nodoka:Remember son, the more rest you get, the more powerful your sex drive is. Ranma:(Blsuhing) Ah, yeah. Whatever. (He starts to shovel his breakfast into his mouth. Genma sits down. He places a bowl in the middle of the table, and ladels some of the soup for himself. Nodoka does as well.) Nodoka:Ah, a nice traditonal breakfast of Miso soup and rice. (Starts to drink it, then stares down at it) But, as usual. IT'S TOO DAMN THICK! Genma:Oh, really? I thought it was just fine. Nodoka:(Rising) Father, weren't you the one who told me that thick soup lowers your response time? Genma:Well, I don't see why it should matter to YOU. (Genma stands as well.) Nodoka&Genma:Grrrrr..... Ranma:(Sigh) Not again.... (He rises as well.) Contestants.. go! (He clanks his chopsticks on the bowl) (Genma and Nodoka start grappling. Ranma just sits and finishes his breakfast) Nodoka:Hey Ranma, have you lost "it" yet? Ranma:Huh? Lost what? Nodoka:Why, a Tennage boy's most precious "it" that's what! Ranma:(Face-faults) How could you ask such a question at breakfast? Genma:Why bother asking such a question at all, Nodoka? Unlike you, Ranma is not some Jigollo that goes chasing skirts and sleeping with every girl who would have him! Ranma:(Rises chopsticks in salute) Right on! Nodoka:I don't approve of the way you've raised my son, father! Genma:Well, I raised him a lot better than you and that jerk Soun ever would have! (Author's note:Live with it.) Nodoka:I've heard of enough of that! Insulting Ranma's father in front of his face! How dare you! Ranma:(Rising) Thank you for breakfast. Genma:'Eh? (Looking at table) But there's still food left! Ranma:Sorry, I wasn't that hungry. (He puts on his backpack and starts to go out the door.) Nodoka:Wait, don't forget these. (She tosses him a case.) Ranma:(Grabbing it) Are these what I think they are? Nodoka:Don't be a goose, no High School student should be without them. (Ranma opens the case. It is full of disks. He leaps back in terror) Ranma:Microsoft Word? Mom, you've always known I was a Wordperfect man! (We cut to a few minutes later. Ranma is leaning against a railing. Ukyo is walking across the street far below) Ranma:Hey, Ucchan! (He waves. Ukyo waves back) (We cut to about ten feet behind Ranma. Sitting on the stairs to an apartment complex is Shampoo. She looks love- sick) Shampoo:Oh, darling Ranma.... (Nabiki approaches) Nabiki:Hey, Shampoo, you can't get a crack at him from all the way over here. Shampoo:...... Nabiki:Wait, I have something just adorable to show you. (Ranma is still looking over the railing at Ukyo. Nabiki comes behind him and lifts up the sleeves of one of his shirts.) Nabiki:What adorable pecs! Shampoo:This is...too much.... (Blood runs out of her nose, and she passes out) Ranma:Nabiki! Nabiki:Sorry, I was just performing a little service for a social unfortunate. Either she is too proud to take charity or your assests were too much for her to handle. (Drops his sleeve) But seriously..... (Laughs) (Author's Note:Sometimes, characters fit like a glove) Ranma:Oh, that Shampoo. Uck! She is so bizzare! Now, her on the other hand. (Looks over the railing) (We hear a distant school bell going off) Nabiki:Hmmm? I hear a bell. Ranma:You must be hearing things, because if that was a bell then..... Ranma,Shampoo&Nabiki:Then we're late! (We see a whip snap.) Principal:Aloha! Late again, I see. Nabiki:I knew he was strict, but I never knew the principal was into S&M! Shampoo:He's in a worse mood than usual! Ranma:(Mellow Laugh) Principal:And what pathetic excuse have you cooked up for me this time? Ranma:Well, you see, Nabiki had her hand up my shirt and... Principal:(Slapping whip against his hand) YOU CALL THAT AN EXCUSE?! All Three:We won't do it again, Sir! Principal:Now, get off to class! (They start to march off.) Principal:Wait, you! (Points to Shampoo) I want to see you in my office after school. Any objections to that? Shampoo:H...Hai! (We cut to after school. Shampoo is in front of the Principals office. She is about to knock) Principal:(From Behind door) Come in. (We cut to a pool. Ranma and Nabiki are sitting at a table. Ranma is looking bored, and Nabiki is eating everything in sight.) Ranma:(Disgusted Look) Maybe you should consider going on a diet. Nabiki:Shut up! I don't eat as much as you! Ranma:But I exercise more. Nabiki:(Puts finger under eyes and sticks out tounge) Pbbbb!! Ranma:Ah, a last Crepe. (She snatches it from her plate.) Nabiki:Hey, I was saving that! Ranma:Too bad. (He dodges. He jumps next to the pool and prepares to eat it) Ahh, thank you Joe Crepe. (He starts to bite into it. Nabiki snatches it from him. He starts to tetter on the side of the pool, but catches his balance.) Ranma:Whew! That was close! (Suddenly, a meteor strikes him and knocks him into the pool. Nabiki grabs it. She eats the crepe with the other hand. She eats it EXTREMELY fast) Nabiki:Hey, this meteorite has doubled my agility! (DragonQuest III joke) Ah well, I have no use for it. (She tosses it into the pool) (We see Ranma falling,falling,falling, etc....) Ranma:And I thought this was the shallow end! (A huge monster appears near the bottom of the pool. It's tentacles reach up and grab Ranma. We cut to the Principals office, where the Prinicpal is watching this on TV. A pentacle shaped antennae extrudes from the top of the TV) Principal:(Between Twinkies) Ha, now that's comedy! Nabiki:Ranma? Ranma? How long are you planning on staying down there? (We see that Ranma is starting to turn red. He screams out, we can hear it muffled somewhat) Ranma:Hiryuu Shoutenha! (He raises his fist in triumph, the whirlwind tears the creature apart, and Ranma floats to the surface. We cut to the principals office. The Pentacle-shaped antennae starts to glow. Suddenly a hand comes out of it. It opens and we see a little man in the hand) Voice:You have been a thorn in my side for far too long Avatar! Your two worlds shall be crushed, Brittania first... Wait a second, this isn't Pagan! (The hand closes over the man, and pulls back into the pentacle) Sorry about this. (Then the TV explodes) Principal:Damn it! And I just made the last payment on that too! (Kicks it) Damn you, Saotome! (Cut back to the pool) Nabiki:Sorry, Ranma, I didn't mean to drown you. Ranma:Oh, it's okay....I... Kunou:Hello. Ranma Saotome, isn't it? (They both look up. Kunou is standing there) Ranma:Kunou-Sempai! Kunou:Here, borrow my anvil. (He drops an anvil into the water. Ranma grabs it and sinks to the bottom) Oh, so sorry. (He leaves laughing) Nabiki:God, what a prick! (Ranma floats to the surface) Nabiki:Are you okay? Ranma:I...(spits water) think so. (Note:He's still a man) (We cut to about half-an-hour later. We see Ranma's reflection in a fishbowl) Ranma:Chico! Chico! Nabiki:Are you sure you're alright? Ranma:Si, Senorita. Nabiki:(Smacks him) Better now? Ranma:Hai. Nabiki:I had better walk you home. Ranma:No thanks, I can make it home by myself. Nabiki:Fine. Ciao. Ranma:Ciao. (Ranma starts to walk off. Then we notice a slickly dressed woman leaning against a car.) Shampoo:Ranma. Ranma:(Turning) 'Eh? Shampoo:Ranma. Ranma:(Looking at her closely) Shampoo? Shampoo:It is I. Ranma:What happened? You look so different. Shampoo:I have come to a decision, Ranma. I have decided to invest in T-Bills and CDs. (Dragon Knight III joke) Ranma:What?! Shampoo:But that isn't important now. Ranma, I think it is time we get to know each other better. Ranma:Ah...okay. (Cut ahead to 10 minutes later) Ranma:And then, my Grandfather trades me to Makimura-san for some fish and rice...and then.... (Cut Ahead to 20 minutes later) Ranma:And then, my grandfather and Kuonji-san decided that I must choose between Ukyo and Okynomaki.... (Cut ahead to 30 minutes later) Ranma:And then, George said to Jane "How do I stop this crazy thing"? Shampoo:That isn't what I meant. Ranma:Oh, what did you mean? Shampoo:I meant... (Whispers something in his ear.) Ranma:Ha! With a wacked-out, oversexed, homicidal girl like you! Shampoo:You're going to do it, whether you like it or not. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and kisses him. Ranma blinks and his eyes turn a pinkish color) Ranma:I've got to start using Visane. (We cut to the hotel scene. Don't make me describe this one, it is shorter, for obvious reasons, and it is interesting how it ends.) Genma:(Breaks down the door and throws the Sanskript tag at Shampoo's head. She falls over on the bed and a black shadow comes out of her.) It seems I got here just in time. Ranma:(Coming out of his trance) Grandfather! Genma:It seems that Shampoo was possessed by more than just lust. (Shampoo falls over.) Ranma:(Pulling his clothes on) Come on grandfather... Genma:How old is this girl? Ranma:16. Genma:Life's a bitch, isn't it? (They both relunctanly leave) Ranma:Where's your motorcycle? Genma:You know as well as I do that I can't drive! Ranma:Oh yeah, I forgot. (We cut ahead to Genma's secret room. We see a computer screen) ************************************************************ **** Secret Mamono Hunter Network **** **** Password:Who cut the cheese? **** **** Identicode:Mamono Hunter Sinclair **** **** Mamono Hunter Sheridan **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** Extra:Isn't Deep Space Nine the lamest thing **** **** you've ever seen? **** **** Access Granted! **** **** **** ************************************************************ ************************************************************ (We see them going down in the elevated-platform type thing) Ranma:Didn't I see this in the "E Tsu Touchdown" video? Genma:Shut up! Do you think props are cheap? (They get down to "The Secret Training room. A long scroll is layed across the table. It has several things scrawled on it in Japanese. Among them "Akkiko is an old bag!" "Why am I blue?" and "Who ate all the Crackling Oat Bran?") Genma:In the beginning, there were two forces. Those of good, which consists of almost all human beings, excluding Politi- cans and Kennedy's. And on the other side are those of the darkness. Mamono's, as we call them. It has been our task, as the Saotome family, to seek out these devils when they attempt to infiltrate our realm. (Behold! He points to a shelf) We're out of doughnuts! Ranma:Grandfather! Genma:Sorry. (Clear throat) Behold, even now, the moons of our dimensions align, and during that time, the Demons can stand on human soil! They rejoice, and eat our doughnuts, anticipating the rebirth of their dark qu....er...king. Ranma:You were just about to say Dark Queen? Genma:Yeah, THAT distracted me. (He points to a cup with a red spoon sticking out of it. It is labeled "Dairy Queen") Ranma:Oh, I thought it didn't matter what sex they were. Genma:Of course it does! (He holds up a vial) Genma:When you douse yourself with this, you will become your Mamono Hunter form. In this form, all evil will flee from you. You will also return to this form everytime you are splashed with cold water. Ranma:Wait a second, if this is hereditary, then why can't Mom do it? Genma:Because she's a WOMAN! Ranma:Oh, yeah, I forgot. (Thought) Sexist fanfic. Anyway, if you are a Mamono Hunter, that what is your form? Genma:(Dumps a bucket of cold water over himself. He turns into a Panda) Ranma:P....Panda! Genma:(Nods.) [I can hold no enemity to those concerned with evil. But to those vile beings who toy with the souls of men, since the time of ancient gods, we have been your destroyers. Mamono Hunter 107th Generation Genma Saotome is here, beware!] (Smaller sign) [I love that old spiel!] Ranma:What the Hell is that supposed to mean? Genma:(Dumping hot water onto himself) Just a warning to the Mamonos. Ranma:Aye. You change back with hot water? Genma:Right. (He holds forth the vial) Are you ready to accept this? To become the 108th Generation of Mamono Hunters? Ranma:(Backing away) I don't know if I'm ready yet. Genma:Well...the time will come. Of that, I have no doubt. Now, sleep well, and watch yourself! This is evils-eve! Anything can happen! (They are back upstairs now. We see a familar figure go out past the window. He turns and looks in) Elvis:Uh-huh! (He walks away) (We cut to Ranma lying on his bed) Ranma:Grandfather sure takes this Mamono Hunter stuff seriously! (He falls asleep) (We cut to the next day. Ukyo is at the principals door) Principal:Come in! (We cut to Ranma coming into the school) Ranma:Where is everyone? There wasn't another bomb-threat, was there? (He walks to his locker and opens it up. There is a red rose in it, with a note underneath. He picks up the note and reads it) Kunou Voicever:Dear Sir, if you do not return the towels, ashtrays, showercurtain and light bulbs that you took from my mansion when you were there last, we shall be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. -Tatewaki Kunou Ranma:What the Hell.... (He turns it over) Oh, I see... Kunou Voicever:Dear Ranma, if you are concerened about the health of Nabiki Tendo, you should make her some chicken soup. But if you want her to live, you had better come out behind the school, right away. If you don't there will literally be hell to pay. -The Dark King. Ranma:What an iditot, re-using stationary like that! (We see that it has the Kunou logo on it. The words start dripping off the paper. He drops the note) He uses a cheap pen as well. (We see Ranma walking out back.) Ranma:Nabiki? Nabiki? (He looks up and sees her glued to a tree. He jumps off and pulls her off) Ranma:You okay, Nabiki? Nabiki:(Opens her eyes. They turn pinkish) Ranma. (She grabs him and throws into a gazeboo type structure. Suddenly, thousands of sticky threads stick to him and hold him aloft.) Principal:Yes, that's right. Kill her, Nabiki. Nabiki:Yeah, blood. heh-heh, cool. Heh-heh. This axe sucks. Heh-heh. Ranma:Nabiki, snap out of it! Nabiki:Heh-heh, they should give you the chair. Yeah, heh-heh the chair. Principal:Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a little ceremony to perform. Come along Kunou. Ranma:You've got to be kidding, Kunou's the Dark King? Wait a second, I already knew that! Duh.... Principal:(Evil Smile) But that's not all! (She lifts a hand and a comatose body of Ukyo comes out of the pond) Ranma:Ukyo! Prinicpal:Kunou, get to the top of the tower, I'll meet you there. Kunou:Fine. Principal:Kill her, Nabiki. Nabiki:Heh-heh. Cool. Fire, fire!!! (She pulls out a flame thrower) Ranma:Holy shit! (Suddenly, a Sanskirpt tag flies down. It hits Nabiki in the forehead, and she falls down, we see the darkness leave her) Principal:Who's out there? (He looks around. Up on a cliff, Genma(Panda) stands) Genma:[I can hold no enemity against those concerned with evil. But to those beings who toy with the souls of men, since the time of ancient gods, we have been your destroyers. The 107th generation of Mamono Hunters, Genma Saotome is here, beware!] (The Principal is looking into the woods, and not up at the cliff. Genma picks up a rock and throws it at the principal.) Principal:Aloha! What was that? (He looks up and sees Genma) Genma:[Up here. Yes, that's right, me!] (He then holds up the other HUGE sign. He then jumps down) Principal:Oooh, I'm really scared. And how are you going to defeat me? (Genma slams the HUGE sign into the principal, he falls.) Well...that was...creative. (Collapses) Genma:[Here, son] (Ranma is now free of the threads. Genma throws him the vial) Ranma:Why can't you do it, pop? Genma:[Union Restrictions] Ranma:Damn, sounds like a cop-out to me. Genma:[Drawing of the middle finger] (Ranma goes to the entrance to the tower. It is a simple kind of lock, the plastic kind you find in cereal boxes. Ranma turns the rectangle around 190-Degrees and then takes the lock off. He goes in.) Demon Voice:Come on, 108th Generation of Mamono Hunter Ranma Saotome. Come witness the rebirth of the Dark King, and the start of the Kunou fast food franchise! (We see that there is a huge "K" at the top of the building) (We cut to the top of the tower. Kunou is dubbed up in all these evil armor stuff. Ukyo just stands there, dazed) Demon Voice:Now, Tatewaki Kunou, consumate your role, and become our Dark King! (Kunou reachs over to Ukyo, touches her and....grabs her wallet. He opens it up and takes out all the money. He holds it to the sky and laughs) (The door blows open. and Ranma walks in) Ranma:I can hold no enemity against those concerned with evil. Kunou:Ha-ha! Ranma:But to those beings who toy with the souls of men, since the time of ancient gods, we have been your destroyers. The 108th Generation of Mamono Hunters, Ranma Saotome. (Pops the lid of the vial) is here! (He dumps the solution on himself. He becomes a girl. He looks at himself) Ranma:What the hell?!!! I've turned into a girl! Kunou:(Falling off the dais) Haha! That's the funniest thing I've ever seen! Hahaha!!!!! (Wipes a tear from his eye. ) Well, time to die. Spirit-Bokken, appear! (An evil looking Bokken appears) Ranma:Well, I don't need weapons. Charge! (He runs forward. Kunou jumps out of the way) Kunou:Too slow, LOSER! (He chops up Ranma's clothing.) Ranma:How dare you! It's worse enough that I'm a girl, now you have to do this! Kunou:On the contrary, I think it looks quite arrousing. If only I didn't have to kill you. Oh well, live's a bitch. Live with it. (He strikes again. Ranma backs away. He jumps up onto the altar, and sees that he is about to fall off the side of the tower) Ranma:Ahh......(Regains his balance. He makes the "V" for victory. But Kunou soon catches up) Kunou:Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! (The air pressure causes the altar and the stone behind it to break. Kunou doesn't notice this. He leaps after Ranma. Ranma jumps off the altar and lands sideways on a column. Kunou jumps onto the altar. It finally gives way, and Kunou is thrown off the edge of the tower) Kunou:I'll get you....Ranma Saotome!!!!!!!!! (Suddenly, the whole towers starts to shudder and creak.) Ranma:Time to make a quick retreat. (He runs to a door marked "Elevator") (He gets back to the apartment. Genma,Nabiki,and Shampoo are sitting, gorged at the table) Genma:Sorry, Ranma. But we didn't want to wait up! Ranma:YOU JERK!!!!!!!!!! (Ending Credits) Written By:Chris Schumacher Special Thanks to; J. Micheal Straczynski The Dragon Quest III people The Dragon Knight III people That guy I saw on the street the other day who gave me a quarter. Etc... Afterword.....I can't belive it! I just sat here for an hour-and-a-half and churned this out! I hope you all like it , I certainly had fun writing it! Coming Soon; Ranma 1/2:The Crys Saga #16 Mamono Hunter Ranma 1/2 #2