Ted Hsu "Rumic Paradise" (done to Coolio's "Gangsta Paradise") Parody Lyrics By Ted Hsu Inspirations: Ryan Mathews and "Weird Al" Yankovic (Opening somber music to "Gangsta's Paradise," and we see the singer: Ryouga, with a bandanna around his head like a rapper would wear it. He takes the mike as the somber music plays) As I walk in the valley in the shadows of gloom, I can hear Saotome just plotting my doom! But that's not bad for a homie like me 'Cause ya know I can blast away with my angst-ki! At 8:30 in the morning I fight the dude, Akane cleans student's clocks and Kuno's 'tude (FOOL!) And I've been fightin' and wanderin' so long that even Dr. Tofu thinks my mind is gone! I'm a man of the ring with a cure on my mind, got a 'brella in my hand and a gleam in my eye! So if I finish off Ranma all will be fine, and the heart of Akane will soon be mine.. (different beat) We've been spending most our lives fighting in a Rumic Paradise, You train hard and sacrifice, fighting in a Rumic Paradise. Try to hurt me? Then think twice fighting in a Rumic Paradise. Don't depress me, just be nice, fighting in a Rumic Paradise A fighting punk tried to ice me good last week; after getting beat up, I just turned the other cheek. I really don't mind, in fact I hope he's well.. 'cause I will take him apart--next time, I'll ring his bell! But I ain't ever killed a punk even if he deserved it.. Golden brother with a 'tude?!? Ya know that's unheard of! I'm not a snazzy dresser with a wardrobe that's "phat" but my homies agree that they like me like that, FOOL! If you try to cross us you'll be pourin' tears, 'cause we haven't been beaten in several years! But we're not snotty punks, so do not get us mad.. Trust us, you'll certainly be glad. Tell me why must we be so blind to see that the ones that we hurt are you and me? tell me why must be we, when too late, then see that the hearts that we hurt are from and you and me? We've been spending most our lives fighting in a Rumic Paradise, Battling all of our lives fighting in a Rumic Paradise, Try to backstab? Best think twice, fighting in a Rumic Paradise, Afterwards we all play nice, fighting in a Rumic Paradise. Strappin' on the weapons, go to help a brother, beat a foe on Monday, soon I'll face another! Think you're really macho? Think you're really tough? Well I know that with action I just can't get enough! I'm the mighty guy the little Rumics wanna be like on my knees day and night, sayin' prayers for a victory! So don't complain and don't be whiny.. or my brother I may have to get medieval on your hiney! We've been spending most our lives fightin' in a Rumic Paradise. We're just tough emboldened guys fightin' in a Rumic Paradise. There's no refs, just lefts and rights, fightin' in a Rumic Paradise! Though you probably think it bites fightin' in a Rumic Paradise! (End shot of the casts from Ranma 1/2 and UY in hospital beds) o-o-oh, o-o-o-o-h, o-o-o-oh, o-o-OY! Send all comments to tdhsu@Music.cc.uga.edu (to be posted to r.a.a.c, and any fandom newsgroups :) ) Ted