condor1556@aol.com (Condor1556) Authored by S. JAMES, Condor1556@aol.com A Ranma 1/2 fanfic Using the characters of the esteemed Rumiko Takahashi It's all about pride. . . (Part 1) (It's a rainy day in Tokyo, after school. Ranma-chan and Akane are hurrying home.) Ranma-chan: Akane, you. . . (Two bouquets of red roses are thrown in their direction. Kunou enters the scene.) Kunou: Ah, both of my beloved are standing before me. The gods must truly be smiling on my magnificence. Such beauty I have rarely seen, and now before me, I see it twofold. What bliss, what utter bliss is this? Truly, this must be pure fantasy, but I know it is not. Fair ones, I shall date with you! (charges with outstretched arms) (Ranma-chan nonchalantly kicks Kunou in the face, leaving a highly visible footprint.) Kunou: She has touched me. She must love me well. . . uhhhh. . .(falls face first, unconscious) (Ranma-chan and Akane continue on to the Tendo dojo. A short, old man approaches at a fast rate.) Happosai: Oh my dear Ranma-chan! (jumps on Ranma-chan) Ranma-chan: Get off me you pervert! (smashes Happosai to the ground) Happosai: (crying) Waah! You'll be sorry, Ranma! Ranma-chan: Yeah, right. (takes Happosai and punts him off in the distance) Akane: Ranma, maybe you shouldn't have treated Master Happosai like that. Ranma-chan: What does it matter? I do it all the time. Akane: I know, but Happosai seemed really angry. Ranma-chan: Who cares? You know, Akane, I'm such a great fighter. Akane: Don't be so modest. Ranma-chan: No, really I mean it. I mean, who can defeat me? Kunou's a joke. I proven that over and over again, like just before. Gosunkugi doesn't stand a chance. Ryoga's not here half the time. Mousse I can beat blindfolded. I can handle Shampoo, Ukyou, and Kodachi. And you, well. . . I can beat you with my hands tied. . . Akane: (angered) Oh yeah? (She starts punching and kicking furiously at Ranma-chan.) Ranma-chan: (laughing and easily dodging the blows) See what I mean? Ha! You couldn't hit me if I. . . oof (Akane nails Ranma with a well-placed kick to the stomach and proceeds to hammer Ranma-chan until she falls on the ground in a heap) Akane: Oh sorry. . . I guess I got carried away. (walks away) Ranma-chan: Yeah, carried away. . . (slumps on the ground) (It is the next day. Everyone in the Tendo dojo is eating breakfast. Ranma is not in a talkative mood and is glaring at Akane as he eats.) Ranma: Hmph. Akane: Hmph. (They make faces at each other.) Nabiki: Come on Ranma, don't be such a sore loser. Ranma: (infuriated) What do you mean loser! I didn't lose! She just got lucky! Big deal! I can handle her any day of the week! You name it! Nabiki: You had to be peeled off the ground. Ranma: So? What does that show? I wasn't even trying. If I really was, it would not even have been a match. Akane: (takes out a hammer) We'll see about that. . . Nabiki: People, people, calm down. (with an arched eyebrow) Ranma, did Akane injure your pride? Ranma: Please, don't be stupid. Of course not. (Ranma and Akane run to Furinkan High School. They see Kunou standing in front of the school, apparently waiting for Ranma.) Kunou: Ranma Saotome, meet your doom! (charges with his bokken) Ranma: I don't have the time for this! (easily dodging Kunou's furious strikes) Kunou: Now you shall face my true wrath! (proceeds with a more furious attack) Ranma: Please, will I have to beat you up again? Well, if you insist. . . (suddenly, Kunou's blows start hitting and Ranma is sent flying) (Ranma gets up, all bruised and injured, but Kunou is no longer in sight.) Ranma: (infuriated) Kunou, I'm gonna get you! (Kunou is walking through the halls in his school uniform. Ranma walks in and sees Kunou walk by.) Kunou: My, my Saotome. Tardiness is not permitted in these hallowed halls. Ranma: I'm gonna kill you, Kunou! Kunou: You shall address me as Upperclassman Kunou, and furthermore. . . (Ranma picks up Kunou by grabbing his shirt). . . perhaps we can have a small discussion. Ranma: Yeah, right. You think I'm letting you get off that easily, after what happened just before? Kunou: Ranma Saotome, you must be going mad. The devils must have entered your mind, filling it with pernicious thoughts. Surely, I have not given adequate provocation to instigate your current vile actions. Now, take your baneful hands off my sacred apparel. Ranma: You lie! (throws a punch at Kunou, who ducks) (Ranma's fist hits the wall, causing a hole to form. Alarmed students and a disapproving teacher is seen through the hole. Kunou starts running away.) Ranma: Come back here! (chases after Kunou) Kunou: You foolish infidel, I shall castigate you after I get my sword. (Just as Kunou turns a corner, he is run over by Happosai who has a bulging bag.) Happosai: Ah, Ranma! Here have these! (throws several panties at Ranma, who catches them, not knowing what they are.) (Happosai runs off and a mob of girls turns the corner, running over Kunou and seeing Ranma.) Girls: Where is that pervert? (To Ranma) Did you see a dirty old man pass by here? What's that in your hand? Ranma: Oh this, well let's see. . . (sees that Happosai threw him some panties) It's not what you think, I can explain. . . er. . . Girls: You pervert! (They maul Ranma and move on, going in the direction that Happosai went.) Ranma: Ugh. . . (sees Kunou still lying on the ground). . . Kunou! (Ranma picks up Kunou and is about to punch him, when a short girl walks in the hallway.) Miss Hinako: Delinquents! (pulls out a five-yen coin) Happofiveyensatsu! Ranma: No! Wait! (gets drained and falls down on the ground with Kunou) (After school, Ranma is walking home by himself.) Ranma: Geez, I can't believe how much trouble I got in today. I lost to Kunou, got mauled by the girls' volleyball team, got drained by Miss Hinako, and then got detention for fighting with Kunou and punching that hole through the wall. Hmph. (Suddenly, Hikaru Gosunkugi jumps out of nowhere towards Ranma.) Gosunkugi: Die, Ranma! (jumps with his mallet) Ranma: Gosunkugi, I don't feel like pounding you to a pulp, okay? (starts to move away) (Gosunkugi presses the attack and hits Ranma, who turns around to face Gosunkugi.) Ranma: That's it! I gave you your chance! (jumps up in the air and tries to jumpkick Gosunkugi) Gosunkugi: (dodges to one side and hits Ranma with his mallet) Ha! Ranma: (dazed) What! What's wrong? A lucky hit, that's all. (kicks and punches furiously at Gosunkugi) (In a startling display of agility, Gosunkugi dodges all of Ranma's attacks, and then with a mighty blow, sends Ranma flying in the direction of the Tendo dojo. Ranma lands right in the pond near the Tendo dojo and floats to the surface as Ranma-chan.) Ranma-chan: (getting out of the pond) Gosunkugi?! I'll get him tomorrow, unless this is a dream. I must be dreaming. I have got to be dreaming. This is a nightmare! (Ranma-chan walks into the dojo.) Nabiki: Oh, I was just going out. You don't look too good, Ranma. I suggest you don't stick around, unless you want to eat Akane's cooking. Ranma-chan: What! Nabiki: Well, Kasumi's gotten a little feverish, so Akane's doing the cooking tonight. Well, I have to go, bye! (Nabiki leaves) Ranma-chan: (pinching herself) Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. . . (It is the next day. Ranma looks a little haggard from the events of the past day.) Ranma: Today is a new day. Today is a new day. Today is a new day. Nabiki: Why are you talking to yourself all of a sudden? Ranma: Huh? What? (To himself) What is she talking about? Nabiki: Never mind. (Ranma and Akane go to school. They walk along and bump right into Gosunkugi.) Gosunkugi: Oh, sorry. Hi. . . Akane. (Ranma picks up Gosunkugi with a mighty thrust as Akane and other students look with horror.) Ranma: Gosunkugi, do you think that I'll let you live after what you've done to me? Gosunkugi: Huh, me? Don't hurt me! Ranma: I'll do more than hurt you, I'll pulverize you! Gosunkugi: No, please don't! Ranma: Aren't talking big now, are ya? (Ranma kicks Gosunkugi, easily sending him into a tree, where he slumps unconscious.) Hah! (Ranma turns to see the student populace glaring at him. Akane has a particularly angry expression.) Kunou: Ranma Saotome, you are a heathen wretch. Tis a most depressing event when one inane student picks on an obviously inferior and defenseless excuse such as Gosunkugi. Infidel cowards commit such crimes, and you, Ranma Saotome, are truly the leader of this worthless bunch. I would strike you, but I do not stoop so low. Ranma: Kunou, you. . . Akane: Ranma! How dare you! How could you attack Gosunkugi like that? (slugs Ranma, sending him into the tree, next to Gosunkugi) Students: I knew that Ranma was no good. . . What a weirdo. . . I hope Gosunkugi is okay. . . I don't like Gosunkugi, but I don't like Ranma either. . . (After receiving glares from students all day, Ranma goes to the Nekohanten to eat lunch.) Ranma: Ughh. . . why, why, why? Shampoo: Nihao! Ranma come see Shampoo? (jumps up in glee) Ranma: Hey, Shampoo. I need two bowls of ramen, fast. Shampoo: (nods) Shampoo bring out for you. (Shampoo brings out the ramen, which is ravenously devoured by Ranma. Refreshed, Ranma exits the Nekohanten.) Ranma: Ahhh. . . what! (Mousse suddenly appears with many weapons extended from his sleeves.) Mousse: Ranma, I will defeat you! Ranma: Wait a sec. . . didn't I just see Mousse in the Nekohanten? Hmm. . . (Ranma's line of thought is broken as Mousse attacks). (Mousse makes many thrusts with his various weapons, all of which are dodged by Ranma. Then, one yo-yo hits Ranma in the head, leaving him slightly dazed.) Ranma: Why am I such a marked man recently? No more fooling around, Mousse. . . tenshin amaguriken! (he nails Mousse with 396 punches, but Mousse seems unfazed) Mousse: Is this your feeble attack? Ranma: Huh? That's not supposed to happen! Mousse?! You weren't affected by my amaguriken technique?! (Ranma is stunned and is easily beaten up by Mousse) (When Ranma gets up after being knocked on the ground, Mousse is gone. Ranma, obviously struggling, staggers into the Nekohanten.) Ranma: Where's Mousse? Come out, Mousse! Mousse: (talking to a customer) Oh hi, Ranma. What do you want? Ranma: (grabs Mousse) Come over here. Mousse: (talking to the customer, thinking that it is Ranma) Sorry, Ranma, business calls. I'll have to get back to you later. My, my, what a pushy customer! Ranma: I'm Ranma! (hits the glasses down, so now Mousse can see Ranma clearly) Mousse: Oh, so you are. What do you want? Ranma: (angrily) I want to beat you up! (punches Mousse into the ceiling) Mousse: (very dazed) What's wrong with you Ranma? What did I do? Ranma: (furious) What did you do? What did you do? Why does everyone keep saying that! Try to block this! Tenshin amaguriken! (Ranma lands 731 hard punches) (Mousse obviously could not block the attack, taking the full impact of each blow. He falls down unconscious. Ranma starts laughing furiously.) Ranma: Ha ha ha! Ha. . . what!? (Shampoo picks up Ranma) Shampoo: Shampoo no like do this, but Ranma no good for restaurant. Bye, bye Ranma. (throws Ranma out of the restaurant) Ranma: (gets up slowly) Ugh. I don't understand. I don't get it. What's going on? (Ranma sees a backpacked figure approaching in the distance.) Ranma: Oh no. . . not now! Ryoga: I see you, Ranma! Prepare to meet your doom! (Ranma faces Ryoga and the two engage in battle. Ranma throws several kicks which are all blocked by Ryoga. Ryoga makes several thrusts with his umbrella, which easily land on Ranma.) Ranma: What's happening? Why am I getting hit so easily? Ryoga: Ha! Ranma, this is your end. Shiki hakoda! (Ryoga's ki-blast hammers into Ranma, sending him sprawling. Not surprisingly, when Ranma gets up, Ryoga is gone.) Ranma: Something is definitely wrong. Is this a prank? Why does everyone keep on disappearing? What's going on? Argghhh! (Ranma holds his head in agony and frustration) (Another day passes and Ranma looks more haggard than ever and appears paranoid.) Akane: Hi, Ranma. Ranma: (jumping up and grabbing on to the ceiling) Oh, it's you, Akane. (comes down) Akane: Looks like someone is a little jumpy today. Ranma: Who me? Nah. Nabiki: Hi, you two. Ranma: (jumping up again) Phew, it's only Nabiki. Nabiki: Hmm. . . this is interesting. The mighty Ranma jumping at shadows. (whips out her camera and takes pictures of Ranma, who is still clinging to the ceiling with a shocked expression on his face.) Well, see ya. (Akane and Ranma go to school. Ranma is quite jumpy, but meets no confrontation. It is now lunchtime. Ranma goes to Ukyou's okonomiyaki restaurant. Ranma sees Ukyou in front of the restaurant.) Ranma: Hey, Ucchan, can you cook me something? Ukyou: Hmph. . . I don't know. How's this? (five mini-spatulas whiz toward Ranma, who just barely dodges them) Ranma: Huh? Ucchan? What are you doing? Ukyou: Shut up! (throws more mini-spatulas and whips out her large spatula) (Ranma does not quite avoid the spatulas and is now bleeding in several places. He assumes a defensive posture and prepares for Ukyou's assault. Ukyou alternates blows with her giant spatula and thrown little spatulas. Ranma finds that his defense is way too feeble and gets knocked into a pond in intense pain. When Ranma-chan gets out, Ukyou is gone.) Ranma-chan: Huh? Hmm. . . I'll be ready, next time. (Ranma-chan returns to Furinkan High School and is walking in, when someone taps him on the shoulder.) Ryoga: Excuse me, but can you tell me where Furink. . . Ranma? Ranma-chan: Ryoga?! Well, you decided to show up now, did ya? You're not Ryoga! Ryoga: Ranma, what are you talking about? Ranma-chan: Come on, whoever you are, let's fight! (Ranma-chan and Ryoga start to fight. Ryoga makes lunges with his umbrella, while Ranma kicks and punches. They try to blast each other with ki-blasts, and this goes on for some time. Eventually, Ukyou and Akane enter and watch the battle.) Ryoga: You're weakening, Ranma! Ranma-chan: In your dreams! (Ranma is feeling quite tired) Ryoga: (throws several bandannas) Shiki hakoda! Ranma-chan: (dodging the bandannas, but not avoiding the ki-blast) Arghh! (he is sent flying into a tree) (Ranma-chan gets up, expecting Ryoga to be gone. However, Ryoga is still there. Ranma-chan jumps towards Ryoga, apparently pulling at Ryoga's skin.) Ranma-chan: Who are you, really? (tugging at Ryoga's skin) Ryoga: What are you talking about? Oww! Ranma-chan: Well, there's one way to find out. Where's water! Ryoga: (with a shocked expression) Ranma! You swore on your honor! Ranma-chan: What's the matter, P-. . . Ryoga: Ranma, please, don't. . . Akane: Why are you torturing Ryoga, Ranma? Ryoga: Akane. . . (has a dazed expression on his face) Ranma-chan: Hmm. . . maybe it is Ryoga. Wait a sec, I lost! I lost to Ryoga! Well, that must be because I'm a girl. Akane: What is that supposed to mean? Ranma-chan: Well, everyone knows the boys are better and stronger than girls. Akane: Oh yeah? Ukyou: (with a sinister smile) Would you care to repeat that, Ran-chan? Ranma-chan: (jumps up into a tree) You're not Ucchan! Ukyou: Huh? Ranma-chan: (jumps down) You're an impostor. I may have been wrong about Ryoga, but I know that I'm right this time. Ukyou: Are you all right, Ran-chan? Ranma-chan: (jumps on Ukyou) Let's see who you really are. . . (starts to pull on Ukyou's skin and clothes) Ukyou: Ran-chan?! What are you doing?! Akane: (fuming) Ranma, why are you groping Ukyou?! (takes out her mallet) Ranma-chan: This is not Ukyou. . . hmm. . . actually, maybe it is Ukyou. Akane: (steaming) That's it Ranma! (pounds Ranma-chan into a pulp with the mallet) Ranma-chan: I. . .don't. . . get. . . it. . . at. . . all. . . (collapses) (Suddenly, Ranma-chan gets up with new-found energy. Ranma-chan bolts away, to the surprise of Ukyou, Akane, and Ryoga.) Ranma-chan: (running) Got. . . to see. . . the old. . . ghoul. (Suddenly, Ranma-chan sees a dark figure approaching. This person is dressed all in black and has a huge cloak and demonic mask of some sort. There is a gold medallion around the person's neck.) Ranma-chan: Who. . . who. . . are you?! Dark Figure: Well, I'm the person you're looking for. Ranma-chan: I knew I was right! You're the one that has been impersonating everyone, aren't you? Dark Figure: Very perceptive. I'm the Ebony Demon. Ranma-chan: Well, I'm gonna take care of ya, right now! (moves toward the Ebony Demon and attempts a jumpkick) Ebony Demon: (hits Ranma-chan aside) Ha! You're feeble attack won't affect me! Ranma-chan: Oh yeah? (Ranma unleashes a mighty ki-blast which envelops the Ebony Demon. However, the Ebony Demon is unscathed.) Huh?! Well, take this. . . tenshin amaguriken! (Ranma-chan hits the Ebony Demon with a particularly strong fury of 731 punches, nut the Ebony Demon is not affected.) Ebony Demon: I shall have to send you to oblivion, I suppose. Dark Demon Spirit Attack! (Five ephemeral lines of dark mist with demonic faces charge toward Ranma-chan. They swirl around Ranma-chan, hitting her with various energy bolts. Then, the demons dissipate. Ranma-chan is in intense pain. Ranma-chan gets up and faces the Ebony Demon.) Ebony Demon: Looking for more? Ranma-chan: That's it! I will have to use the Saotome special technique! Can you just turn away slightly? Ebony Demon: Oh, sure, okay. . . (turns around). . . wait a second, what am I doing! (turns around, but does not see Ranma-chan. Apparently, Ranma-chan has run away.) Oh well, he'll, she'll, be back. (End Part 1) Authored by S. JAMES, Condor1556@aol.com A Ranma 1/2 fanfic Using the characters of the esteemed Rumiko Takahashi It's all about pride. . . (Part 2) (Ranma-chan makes it to the Nekohanten, where she runs into the kitchen and splashes herself with hot water, changing to Ranma.) Shampoo: I hope Ranma better now. Ranma: Where's Cologne? Cologne: Right here, son-in-law. Ranma: Have you heard of the Ebony Demon? Cologne: No. Ranma: What about the Dark Demon Spirit Attack technique? Cologne: No. Ranma: Well, that's not important. You have to train me. Cologne: Hmm. . . Ranma: Please, please, please? (gets down on his knees) Cologne: Will you marry Shampoo? Ranma: No, well, I don't know. Cologne: If I am to train you, you must promise to marry Shampoo. Ranma: What, are you crazy, you old ghoul? There's no way that I'll make that kind of promise. Cologne: I don't know then. . . Ranma: Okay, how's this? I promise to take Shampoo out on a date, if you train me to beat the Ebony Demon. Cologne: Hmm. . . okay, let's get going. Shampoo: Oh great-grandmother, can Shampoo go? Cologne: No, child. You must stay and run the restaurant. Shampoo: (pouts in disappointment) Shampoo listen to great- grandmother, but not happy. Ranma: Let's go! (Ranma and Cologne leave, and days pass as they reach their destination. Ranma has to carry Cologne on his back throughout the trip.) Ranma: (carrying Cologne and groaning) Ugh. Cologne: We are here. (Ranma abruptly collapses on the ground) Son- in-law is rather weak. Ranma: What do you mean, weak? I'm not weak? (gets up and collapses again) Cologne: Hmm. . . this may take longer than I thought. Ranma: (sitting up) Where are we anyway? Cologne: We are at the ancient training ground of the Falcon Warriors. They were mighty warriors with unparalleled skills and incredible martial arts training. They were the supreme lords of this area and none dared to challenge them, except some unfortunates who thought that they were superior to the Falcon Warriors. Ranma: So, what eventually happened to them? Cologne: They all died off. They absolutely refused to marry and had no children. Ranma: Hmm. . . Cologne: Well, first you must dress the part. Ranma: (stunned) What are you talking about? Cologne: If you want to be as good as a Falcon Warrior, you have to look like a Falcon Warrior. Don't worry, these were glorious warriors who were quite wealthy as well. Ranma: (relieved) Well, as long as I don't look stupid. . . (Cologne hops off somewhere and returns with something that looks like a feather suit.) Ranma: (puts it on) Whoopee. (Ranma is dressed in a crude uniform with many off-color, badly color-coordinated feathers) Cologne: Hmm. . . I guess taste has changed over the ages. Ranma: Hmph. I wonder how stupid I look in this thing. Their opponents stayed away, because they probably thought that these Falcon guys were crazy. Cologne: Now, Falcon Warrior, we can proceed with yor training. Ranma: (overjoyed) Yes, now I'll know the secrets of the Falcon Warriors! Cologne: Well, actually, you won't, because I can't teach you their techniques. Ranma: (peeved) Why not? Cologne: Well, I don't know their techniques. (Ranma face-faults.) Ranma: (angry) Then why am I wearing this stupid suit? Cologne: To catch the nostalgia of this sacred ground. Ranma: I'm not here to pay tribute to some stinking dead guys. I'm here to train! Cologne: And you will. Just have patience, son-in-law. Ranma: All right then, let's train. (excited again) I want to learn some new techniques! Cologne: Well, actually I am not going to teach you any new techniques. Ranma: (furious) What! Then what are we going to do?! Cologne: We shall perfect your current techniques. (We see hours and many sunrises and sunsets pass as Ranma performs many martial arts techniques over and over again, under Cologne's supervision.) Cologne: The training is complete! Now you shall defeat that demon. Ranma: Ha ha! None can defeat me now! I am too strong and powerful. . . ha. . . ha. . . (Ranma falls to the ground, dead tired and now sleeping) Cologne: Son-in-law has no vigor. (Ranma and Cologne return after some time passes. Ranma is still wearing the feather suit. While they are walking, screaming teenagers run toward them. After seeing Ranma in the feather suit, some go off in different directions away from Ranma.) Person #1: Run! Help! Person #2: The demon is going to get us! Run, away! Person #3: Ranma Saotome? A demon is destroying everyone in sight! Run! Ranma: Huh? What are you talking about? Person #3: After school, as we were going home, a shadow-like monster appeared! It zapped some of the teachers into oblivion and some of the students too! That guy, Ryoga Hibiki tried to challenge it, but he was obliterated. Others were destroyed too, like some guy named Mousse, Akane Tendo. . . Ranma: What! Akane. . . (runs toward Furinkan High School) Cologne: I'd better follow. (hops after Ranma) (Ranma reaches Furinkan High School. Ahead, he sees the Ebony Demon and Kunou in battle.) Kunou: Such pestilence does not belong in the presence of Tatewaki Kunou. You shall not cause any more harm; I forbid it! Ebony Demon: (laughing) How do you plan to stop me? Kunou: Laugh no more, you scourge! Frivolity is the recourse of the doomed. (charges with his bokken flashing) Ebony Demon: (takes out Ryoga's umbrella and hammers Kunou with it) No match, no match at all. Kunou: Ha! I am made of sterner stuff. (weakly) It'll take an entire battalion of Hell's tortured souls to make the mighty Tatewaki Kunou submit to you, infidel most vile! Ebony Demon: Ha! Pulverize Ray! (an eerie green light escapes from the demon's fingers and envelopes the weakened Kunou, making him disappear) Ranma: (enraged) I'm coming after you! Ebony Demon: Wait your turn! (Ranma suddenly freezes in mid-step) Ranma: Hey, I can't move! Ebony Demon: When it's your turn, I'll let you move. Next. . . let's see. . . you. (points to and unfreezes Ukyou) Ukyou: Ran-chan! Where have you been? (turns to the demon) I can handle ya, demon. Ebony Demon: I doubt it, very much. Ukyou: Oh yeah? (throws ten little spatulas in a split-second and grabs her large spatula.) Ebony Demon: (making the spatulas turn into dust) Please. . . don't be so pathetic. Ukyou: (whips out an okonomiyaki stand) Take this! (flips hundreds of okonomiyakis at the Ebony Demon) Ebony Demon: Huh?! (gets taken by surprise and gets hit by some) Well, that's no problem. (charges at Ukyou, sending her flying) Ranma: Ucchan! Ukyou: (getting up groggily) You'll have to do better than that! (charges with vicious spatula swings) Ebony Demon: (performing several deft manuevers and managing to dodge all of Ukyou's attacks, while hitting Ukyou repeatedly, who collapses) Ha! Ukyou: Uhh. . . Ebony Demon: Goodbye. . . Pulverize Ray! (the green ray dissipates Ukyou) Ranma: No! Ukyou. . . Akane. . . Ryoga. . . Mousse. . . even Kunou. . . I'll avenge you! (breaks out of paralysis and lunges at the Ebony Demon) Ebony Demon: Hmm. . . you broke out of your paralysis. Perhaps, I'll have to take my time with you, Falcon Warrior. Ranma: Huh? (realizing that he is still wearing the feather suit) Oh yeah, that's right. (spectators start to laugh) Shut up! This is how a true warrior dresses! Die, demon! (charges at the demon performing kicks and punches at alarming rates) Ebony Demon: (barely dodging each blow) Hmm. . . Ranma Saotome, Falcon Warrior, you are much improved in your martial arts skills. (pauses) But, you're not good enough. (goes on a counterattack, putting Ranma on the defensive by putting on an equally impressive show of martial arts skills) Ranma: (dodging each blow with confidence) Ha! I'm better than you think! (sends a mighty ki-blast into the Ebony Demon, who is barely fazed) Ebony Demon: (mocking) Is that all you can do? Ranma: Huh?! Well, you'll see. . . tenshin amaguriken! (Ranma unleashes a rapid fury of 1087 punches) (Ranma punches crazily right into the Ebony Demon, who simply stares at Ranma laughing.) Ebony Demon: Take this! (throws some of Ryoga's bandannas, Ukyou's spatulas, and Shampoo's bonbori) Ranma: (dodging the thrown objects) Why aren't any of my attacks doing anything? If this doesn't work, I don't know what will. . . hiriyu shotenha! (Ranma's special attack does not even lift the Ebony Demon off the ground. Ranma is shocked.) Ebony Demon: Ebony Demon Ultimate Technique! Eight Demon Elder Attack! (A glowing orb forms in the Ebony Demon's hands. Eight separate mists emerge, quickly tranforming into eight aged demons which fly at Ranma, each one striking as a huge ki-bolt.) Ranma: (gets thrown backward at an alarming velocity and hits against a tree in immense pain) Uhh. . . Ebony Demon: (throws Akane's food at Ranma) How's this? Ranma: (gets nailed by Akane's food and is in obvious pain) Akane's food. . . (sees the medallion glint) Hmm. . . Ebony Demon: Ha! Pulverize. . . huh?! (Ranma is no longer slumped against the tree and is not in sight. Apparently, Ranma has regrouped for a final attack and has jumped up in the air. Ranma suddenly lands in front of the Ebony Demon, striking it furiously.) Ranma: I've got you now! Ebony Demon: Ha! I don't feel a thing. . . (Ranma grabs the medallion) hey! What are you doing! Arghh!!!!! Ranma: (rips off the medallion) You want this? I wonder why. . . Ebony Demon: Give me that back! Ranma: Fine, take it back. . .(mocking) if you can. Ebony Demon: I can try. (The Ebony Demon lashes out at Ranma, obviously still a worthy foe, Ranma is wondering if he had just made a huge mistake.) Ranma: Tenshin amaguriken! (Ranma lands 1306 punches on a reeling Ebony Demon) Ebony Demon: (on the ground) Ugh. . . please. . . no more. Ranma: Yes! I win! Ha ha ha! Ha! Ebony Demon: I should have known this wouldn't work. Ranma: (stops laughing) What are you talking about! (grabs the Ebony Demon) And what have you done with the others? Ebony Demon: Relax. . . I'm one of Happosai's students. (removes the black apparel to expose a young man) Ranma: One of Happosai's students? Ebony Demon: Yep, oh and by the way, your friends are in a room about 5 feet under where we are standing. . . (the ground crumbles under them and they hear Ryoga finishing his bakusaitenketsu technique as Ranma and the Ebony Demon fall into the room, as well as the crumbled ground) Ranma: Uhh. . . (shaking his head) Ryoga! Why are you so pig-headed sometimes! Ryoga: Ranma! How dare you make fun of me like that! I'll make you pay! (prepares a large ki-blast) Ukyou: (smashing Ryoga with her spatula) Now, now, no need to be violent to Ran-chan. Ebony Demon: Ow. . . hmm. . . (sees everyone staring at him). . . well, to make a long story short, Happosai asked me to humble Ranma, so I tried. I got a costume and went after Ranma under the power of that medallion that Ranma is holding. With that medallion that Happosai gave me, I was invincible. That medallion can do pretty much anything, I'm sure. Happosai told me that Ranma was a little too proud. Therefore, he told me to embarass Ranma. (pulls out a bra and gets subsequently hit by all of the others) Ranma: He's as big a pervert as Happosai. Akane: Well, that ploy was pretty stupid. What's the point? I mean, we all know that Ranma gets a little proud sometimes. Nabiki: What do you mean? He is one of the most egotistical people I know. Ryoga: Yeah, he's overly conceited and self-centered. Kunou: Yes, this is all true for Ranma Saotome is quite a haughty miscreant. Pride is the seed of evil that springs forth. . . (gets hit by Ranma) Ranma: Okay, I get the idea. Sheesh. (Happosai approaches.) Happosai: Ranma, I believed that you have learned your lesson. Being your master, I felt that it was necessary to show you. . . (Ranma picks up Happosai) (Ranma punts away a screaming Happosai) Ranma: (fuming) You. . . you. . . Ebony Demon: Well, that's that. Mousse: Did you say that the medallion could do anything? Ebony Demon: I'm pretty sure that it can. Ryoga: That means. . . Mousse: Finally. . . Ranma: At last, I can be a guy! Akane: (sarcastically) I thought that you already were a guy. Ranma: You know what I mean. Ryoga: Give me that! (charges at Ranma, lunging for the medallion) Ranma: No way! (counterattacks Ryoga, who charges again) Mousse: I want that! (Ranma, Mousse, and Ryoga fight in mass confusion. The medallion flies out of Ranma's hands and falls in the street, hard. They stare at the medallion on the ground and breathe sighs of relief when the medallion does not break. Suddenly, the principal walks by and steps on the medallion, cracking it.) Mousse: Wha. . . Ryoga: Uhh. . . Ranma: Argghhh!!!!! Prinicipal: Aloha! What are you naughty teenagers doing? Ranma: (lunges at the principal who gives Ranma a coconut bomb) Huh? (looks at the coconut bomb in confusion and realizes that it is a coconut bomb) No!!!!!!! (An explosion occurs and Ranma is simply quivering on the ground, charred. Everyone is shaking their heads. Ranma then gets up, shakily. Suddenly, Shampoo jumps on Ranma, having just arrived on her bicycle.) Shampoo: Ranma take Shampoo on date now? Ranma make promise. Ranma: Er. . . well. . . (sees Akane fuming) Akane: (angry) Ranma! What did you do that for? Ranma: Akane. . . it's not what you think. . . uh. . . (Akane pounds Ranma with a hammer, while Nabiki takes pictures.) THE END Note from the author: This is my second attempt at writing fanfic. There were no sudden revelations with this one. I just wrote, getting a severe case of writer's block before I started. This story is totally different from the one I originally had in mind. I think that I'll keep this author's note short. If you read it, please respond by e-mailing Condor1556@aol.com. Otherwise, I won't know what direction I'm heading with these Ranma fanfics. Comments, criticisms, compliments, anything would be greatly appreciated. Later, S. JAMES Condor1556@aol.com `+ +' () \--------/