Ranma 1/2 Version 3.1 Episode 1 [Opening song: Jajauma ni sasenaide] [Exterior angle on the Nekohanten. Cut to an interior angle on the kitchen. Cologne is sorting her ingredients.] [Note: This scene takes place in Chinese.] Cologne: Intelligence booster... Potency enhancer... [calls out] Shampoo!! Shampoo: [sticking her head in the door] Yes, great-grandma? Cologne: What did you do with the passion spice? It's not here. Shampoo: [looks embarassed] I, um, I used it all. Tendou Kasumi kept the shaker it was in, though... Cologne: [stares at Shampoo] You used it *all*, and that silly boy *still* hasn't married you? Shampoo: [looking down at her folded hands] ..... Cologne: [turning back to the spices] Hmmmph: Men! [sigh] Personality exchange... Morphing formula... Shampoo(thinking): I've *got* to get Ranma... [Cut to the Tendou dojo. Close in briefly, we hear birds in the background, then cut to the kitchen, where Kasumi is making dinner. Ranma-chan sticks her head in.] Ranma-chan: Did Akane come home yet? Kasumi: Yes, I think she's in her room. Did something happen at school? She seemed upset. Ranma-chan: ...you might say that. [takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders, and leaves] [Kasumi continues making dinner. From outside we hear a "knock, knock," followed by the sound of a window opening. As Kasumi begins adding vegetables to one pot on the stove, an angry voice becomes audible. A moment later there is a *thud* followed moments later by a loud WHAM. Kasumi hurries over to the window and looks out.] Kasumi: Oh,my! [She exits into the back yard. We see Ranma-chan lying unconscious on the ground, her head on one of the stones lining the carp pond. Above her, Akane slams her window shut.] [Title: Ranma mou ichido onna sengen! Kasumi-chan no mijikai bouken.] (Ranma proclaims himself a girl one more time! Kasumi-chan's short adventure.) [Akane is walking down the hall past Ranma's room. She glances inside, then stops and stares as she sees Ranma- chan laid out on her futon, still out cold, with Kasumi sitting next to her and a cold cloth on her face. Akane: [entering the room] What's wrong? Kasumi: [concerned] She's still unconscious. [looking up] Akane, would you sit with her? I put the stove on low, but I have to go get things cooking again... Akane: Sure. [sits down] [Kasumi leaves. Akane wrings out the cloth, dampens it again, and puts it back on Ranma-chan's face.] Akane(thinking): Ranma, you idiot. Getting me so mad I hurt you this badly... [Ranma-chan stirs and opens her eyes.] Ranma-chan: Ohhhh. Akane: Ranma! Are you... all right? [Ranma-chan sits up and feels the back of her head.] Ranma-chan: [gentle voice] I feel very well, thank you. Akane: [thinking she's being sarcastic] Well, it was your own fault, getting me so mad! Ranma-chan: You're right. I'm sorry. Akane: [staring puzzledly for a moment] Ranma, are you sure you're all right? Ranma-chan: [cheerful] Of course! [takes a deep breath] I feel like I'm waking up from a long dream... [Akane looks worried. This is not Ranma's normal attitude at all. Suddenly, she remembers another time Ranma acted like this...] Akane: Ranma, are you a guy or a girl? Ranma-chan: What? Don't be silly, Akane. Look at me. Of course I'm a girl. Akane: [closes her eyes] Oh no, not again. Ranma-chan: [sniffing the air] Say, is Kasumi-oneesama making dinner? Akane: Um, yes... Ranma-chan: [getting to her feet] I want to help! [hurries out of the room] [Cut to later, outside the kitchen. Soun, Akane, and the panda are peering around the doorjamb at Kasumi and Ranma-chan making dinner.] Akane: ...it's just like the last time: He's convinced he's a girl, he doesn't want to do martial arts anymore, just cooking and flowers and...[mouth twists slightly] feminine stuff like that. Panda's sign: Twice as much delicious cooking! Soun: Saotome-kun! If this goes on, he won't marry any of my daughters and YOU will have broken your promise! [glares down at the panda] Panda: [looking innocent] Grawafa? Nabiki: [joining them] Well, this can't be too hard to cure. A second bump on the head was all it took last time. Akane: [considers a hammer for a moment, then puts it down] I'll take him to Dr Tofu after dinner. [At this point, there's a large CRASH from outside. After the noise subsides we can hear a bicycle bell.] Akane: Oh, no... Shampoo: [entering the kitchen] Niihao, Ranma! Ranma-chan: Shampoo-chan! [takes the steamer from her and looks inside] Oh, good, we haven't made onigiri... [opens a cupboard and takes out a serving plate] These smell good, did you make them yourself? Shampoo: Uh... yes. Ranma, what...? [Ranma-chan puts the onigiri on the dish and hands the steamer back to Shampoo.] Ranma-chan: Did you want to stay for dinner? Shampoo: Sure! [blinks and looks puzzled again] Ranma, you feel all right? Ranma-chan: Just fine. [turns back to the stove] [Shampoo stares at her worriedly. Akane goes 'psst' and motions her over to the door.] Shampoo: [whispering] What wrong with him? Akane: [also whispering] He thinks he's a girl. He got cracked on the head and somehow it switched his personality around. Shampoo: Thinks he's a girl...? [looks over at Ranma-chan] Poor Ranma... [Suddenly looks around at Akane] *You* hit him on head, didn't you? This your way of keeping him away from me! Akane: What! [Shampoo advances aggressively on Akane, who gets into a fighting stance. Soun holds up his hands nervously.] Soun: Now, girls, please don't fight in the house... We're taking him to the doctor after dinner, so there's no need for this... hahahaha... [Shampoo glances at him coldly for a moment, then looks back at Akane. Her mouth twists contemptuously.] Shampoo: Hmmmph. ...ah! [her eyes go wide] Personality switch... Great-grandma said... [Shampoo imagines Ranma holding her and crying with relief.] Ranma-kun(imagined): Shampoo, you saved me from the life of a girl!! How can I ever repay you!? Shampoo(imagined): [wicked smile] Oh, I'm sure I think of something. [The real Shampoo giggles wickedly, then looks at Akane.] Shampoo: [innocent smile] Maybe I help. Be back soon. [dashes out] Akane: [suspicious] Hmmmmm? I don't like this... [Later. A few dishes are still cooking, others stand on serving plates. Ranma-chan and Kasumi are at the stove. Nabiki sticks her head in.] Nabiki: Dinner almost ready? Kasumi: Just a few more- Ranma-chan: OH NO! Kasumi&Nabiki: What's wrong!? Ranma-chan: I forgot to cook the noodles! [Nabiki closes her eyes and lets her head thump against the doorjamb. Ranma-chan grabs a pot and starts filling it with water, spilling some in her rush. Shampoo appears at the outer door.] Shampoo: Here it is! [holds up a dish of mixed vegetables] Kasumi: [goes over to Shampoo] Oh, that looks good. Is it- [Ranma-chan turns away from the sink and slips in the spilled water. She manages to hold onto the pot but its contents fly across the room, drenching Shampoo. Kasumi manages to catch the vegetable dish as Shampoo suddenly loses a meter and a half of height and gains a short coat of fur. Nabiki glances between Ranma-chan and Shampoo-cat and braces herself.] Ranma-chan: [looking at Shampoo-cat] Oh, what a cute kitty. [walks over, picks the cat up and strokes it] [Kasumi blinks. Nabiki looks on in shock for a moment, then shrugs and leaves.] Nabiki: If there was some way to give him a girl's mind, have him cook a meal for someone, then change his mind back... Hmmm. [Back in the kitchen, Ranma-chan is drying Shampoo off. Kasumi looks down at the vegetables she's holding, picks up a pair of chopsticks, and tries a bite. Kasumi: Mmmm, good... [trails off and gets an odd look in her eyes] Ranma, take care of dinner, would you? [Kasumi puts down the dish and leaves. Ranma, with Shampoo lying across her shoulders and purring contentedly, refills the pot and starts cooking the noodles.] [Kasumi enters her room and looks around a moment. She opens the closet and scowls at her clothes. After a moment, she picks out a red swimsuit and a black dress and looks at them thoughtfully.] [Back in the kitchen, Ranma-chan has finished the noodles and is getting things ready for dinner. Nabiki sticks her head in again.] Nabiki: Dinner ready? Ranma-chan: Yep! [hands her a couple dishes to take out to the table] Nabiki: Where's Kasumi? Ranma-chan: I don't know... She tried those vegetables Shampoo brought, then went somewhere. [Upon hearing this, Shampoo jumps off Ranma-chan's shoulders and dashes back into the kitchen. Ranma-chan and Nabiki put their dishes on the table and chase after Shampoo.] Shampoo-cat: [urgently] Unyaaaaaan! [In the kitchen, Shampoo-cat is trying to work the hot- water tap.] Ranma-chan: [picking Shampoo up] What's the matter, kitty, you thirsty? Nabiki: I think she wants to change back to human. [gets a kettle] [Cut back to Kasumi's room. She's standing in front of the full-length mirror, wearing her new outfit. She took the sleeves off the dress and sewed them to the armholes of the swimsuit, then made "pantslegs" with the skirt from the dress that come to just above her knees. The effect is rather... provocative. She nods appoval, then sits down at her vanity and takes out a makeup kit that looks like it hasn't seen a lot of use.] [Back in the kitchen, Shampoo, now human again, is finishing an explanation.] Shampoo: ...but don't see how, Great-grandma said it wouldn't have effect on someone with just one personality. Nabiki: You learn something new every day. Akane: Never mind that! Come on! [dashes out with the rest in tow] [They reach Kasumi's room, where the door is open, and peer inside. Akane: Not here... Soun: [coming up behind them] Something wrong? Akane: Otousan! Have you seen Kasumi? Soun: She's not here? Well, I heard someone go out a few minutes ago, maybe that was- [The girls go charging down the stairs and out the front door. They pile out into the street and look around, with Akane and Shampoo jumping onto the walls for a better view.] [Cut to the entrance hall, where Soun and the panda are just arriving, worriedly, when the girls come back in.] Akane: She's gone... [Commercial break] [Exterior shot of the Tendou home. From inside: ] Soun: WHAAAAAAAAAAT!!?!? [Cut to the interior. The girls are gathered around Soun, who looks like he's going to have a heart attack.] Akane: The lady said she saw Kasumi getting into a taxi and asking to be taken to Shinjuku. She said Kasumi was wearing an outfit like a swimsuit with sleeves and legs. [pause] *Short* legs. Nabiki: [holds up the remains of the black dress] I found this on the floor by her sewing machine, and her red one- piece is missing. Soun: [collapses to his knees] Auuuugh! My daughter... alone in Shinjuku... at night... in that kind of outfit!? Akane: Look, there's only one thing to do: We're going to have to go find her! Ranma-chan: But what about dinner? Akane: [rounding on her] HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT FOOD AT A TIME LIKE THIS!?! Ranma-chan: [eyes starting to shimmer] But... but... Kasumi-oneechan and I worked so hard to make it... Akane: [deep breath] If something happens to her because we *didn't* go looking for her, she'll NEVER COOK WITH YOU AGAIN!! Ranma: [tiny voice] Okay... Akane: [stares at Ranma-chan a moment, then sighs] You're not going to be much good on a search like this... Let me get those vegetables... Soun: Wait, Akane! Akane: Eh?! Soun: Um... Wait until we find Kasumi, please... then if something does happen to her, we can still eat Ranma's delicious cooking. Akane: Otousan! Panda's sign: My son will not be a girl! Soun: [holds out a bowl of Ranma-chan's cooking in one hand and a cup ramen in the other] Which would you rather eat the rest of your life!? [The panda looks between them a moment, then grabs the food Ranma-chan made and gulps it down.] Akane: [looks disgusted] All right then... Ranma, you stay here, the rest of you, come on! [Shinjuku, Tokyo. A place that makes Times Square seem sedate and restrained. Tonight, a new spice has entered this stew: A young woman who strolls through the crowds with unwavering self-confidence.] Kasumi: [responding to a pick-up line] No thanks, I'm already having a good time. [However, several blocks away, a second new element is wandering the streets with anything but confidence.] Ryouga: I wonder where I am? ...I must still be in Japan, but I've never seen a place like this before. Voice from above: Yoo-hoo, you with the bandanna...! [Ryouga looks up to see a girl dressed only in filmy lace winking at him from a window. He blushes scarlet and hurries on.] Ryouga: The big city is too much for me!! I need to get back to the countryside... [He leans against a wall for a moment. The scene dissolves to an imaginary meadow, with an idealized Akane running through it in a dirdnl*.] *The sort of dress Julie Andrews was wearing at the beginning of The Sound of Music Ryouga: Akane-san... [Suddenly two hands cover his eyes. We hear a female voice.] Voice from behind: Guess who? [Meanwhile, somewhere else in Shinjuku, Akane, Soun, Nabiki and Shampoo are getting out of a taxi.] Akane: Alright, Nabiki- Nabiki: I'll go this way. [strides off down the street] Akane: ...okay, Shampoo- Shampoo: [comandeering a bicycle from a passerby] I go this way! [the opposite direction from Nabiki] Akane: [glaring after her] ...and otousan- Soun: *We'll* go this way. [takes Akane's hand and crosses the street] [Back at the Tendou place, Ranma-chan is sadly watching the panda gulp down the last of the dinner she made.] Ranma-chan: ...We didn't leave any for them... Panda's sign: They'll eat in Shinjuku. Ranma-chan: Hmmph. [plays with a spoon a moment] Maybe we should've...Hm? [Something can be heard moving around outside. Ranma-chan jumps behind the panda.] Ranma-chan: Wh-wh-what's that? Panda's sign: I-I-I don't know... [The two of them slowly sneak around to the garden door. They peer out into the evening, but can't see anything.] Ranma-chan: He-hello? [A shadow jumps up and rushes towards her.] Ranma-chan: Kyaaaaaaa! [Back in Shinjuku, Ryouga is relieved to find the girl behind him is only-] Ryouga: Ka-Kasumi-san, good evening! Kasumi: [low and warm] Hello, Ryo-chan. Ryouga: Eh? Ah...er... [notices her outfit and blushes] Um...What brings you here? Kasumi: I got bored, and thought I might find something interesting to do here. [hooks her arm through his and begins strolling down the street] Do you think you could help me find something like that? Ryouga: Er, well... That is... This isn't really my kind of place... Kasumi: Oh, don't be silly... [transfers the arm to his waist and leans close to his ear] I'm sure a fine figure of a young man like you can find *some* way to make a girl happy. Ryouga: [blushing] Er,ah, I... You don't... [A short distance away, Soun is having a rather unproductive conversation with the doorman of a cabaret.] Soun: ...someone to keep me company for the night, I am *trying* to find my daughter! Doorman: Well, if you wanna know if she works here, you're gonna have to pay the cover, fella. Soun: Up till today, she'd never even...! Never mind. Would you please just tell me if a girl like the one I described to you has come by here? Doorman: Sorry, fella, I got a real lousy memory for faces. Soun: Look-! Akane: [rolling her eyes] Oh, boy... [wanders off a ways] We're never going to find her at this rate. They could be twenty feet away and... [stares down the street] [About twenty feet away, Ryouga and Kasumi are coming up the street. Kasumi is more-or-less draped over Ryouga at this point, alternating between nibbling on his ear (making him blush) and whispering things into it(making him blush even more).] Akane: [walking towards them] Ryouga-kun!? Oneechan! Ryouga: [sees her] Aaaaaah! A-Akane-san this isn't- I'm not- I mean- Akane: Oneechan! What are you doing!? Kasumi: Acting like what I am, Akane-chan, a *woman*. [eyes Akane's shorts and T-shirt] *Some* of us *are* women, you know. [Akane and Ryouga stare at her in shock.] Kasumi: Now then, Ryo-chan: That club over *there* looks interesting. Let's give it a look, shall we? [starts to cross the street, then looks back as Ryouga stands like a statue. Her voice hardens.] *Well?* Akane: Ryouga-kun, just a moment... [pulls him a few feet away and lowers her voice] Ryouga-kun, would you please go with her? Ryouga: EH? Akane: I know you won't try and take advantage of her. If she goes off by herself, the next guy she meets might not be so... nice. [puts a hand on his shoulder] I trust you to take care of her...Please. [Ryouga stares at her a moment, then seizes her hand in both of his] Ryouga: Akane-san, I swear I'll protect your sister tonight, and bring her safely home! [Akane stares a moment, then nods and pats his hands with her free one.] Akane: Just try to show her a good time, too. Otherwise she might try and leave you. Ryouga: Of course! [turns back to Kasumi, who looks rather impatient] Kasumi-san, let's go see that club! [offers her an arm] [Kasumi takes it, brushes his hair back from his forehead, gives Akane a cool smile, and crosses the street with him. Akane sighs and turns back to Soun, who hasn't noticed any of this.] Soun: ...wouldn't be caught *dead* here if it wasn't so important!! So you can just take your- [Akane taps on his arm] What!? Akane: C'mon, let's go home. Soun: Eh? Akane: I just talked to oneechan, she's in the club over there. [points across the street] Ryouga-kun is with her, he's going to make sure she's okay. Soun: Ah? Ah. Well, then. [looks at the doorman] So long... [leaves with Akane] Doorman: Yeah, so long yourself, fella. [Soun and Akane head back to where they arrived in Shinjuku. Halfway there, Shampoo(still on the bike) drops from the sky and lands on Soun.] Shampoo: Niihao! Akane: [looking at her] ..... Soun: [flat on his face] ..... Shampoo: No luck? Akane: We found her. As soon as we find Nabiki-oneechan, we- [breaks off as she sees Nabiki apparently haggling with a street-gang type] Oneechan! Nabiki: [glances at Akane and waves for her to be quiet] So it's agreed? You look out for her and I'll make sure we get paid. Tough: Yeah, yeah... [looks up] Hey, old man, that's a stupid- looking mustache! Haaahahahahah... [saunters off] [Soun looks scandalized. Nabiki comes over.] Nabiki: Any luck? Akane: Yeah, we found her. Ryouga-kun is keeping an eye on her. Nabiki: [rolling her eyes] Oh, good... So, why don't we get a bite to eat? Akane: [makes a face] All this noise is giving me a headache. Let's just go home. Nabiki: Okay, but I bet Uncle Saotome has eaten everything by now... [Exterior, Tendou dojo, night. A taxi pulls up and disgorges the girls and Soun. (Shampoo still has the bicycle.) Akane turns to Shampoo.] Akane: You'd better get back to the Nekohanten, your great-grandma must be worried. Shampoo: I want see how Ranma is. [They go inside. The panda is sitting in the dining room, playing solitare.] Akane: Uncle Saotome, where- [breaks off as she realizes the floor is covered with red roses and rose petals] What... Panda's sign: We have a guest. Akane: Who...? Nabiki: [picking up a rose] Kunou-chan, right? [The panda nods.] Akane: What!? Where is he? And where's Ranma? Panda's sign: They're together. Akane: WHAT! What do mean, "together!?" Panda: [flips the sign around] -in the kitchen. [Akane glares at the panda a moment, then dashes out of the room.] [Cut to the hall outside the kitchen. High-pitched giggles and masculine laughs can be heard. Akane comes down the hall and sticks her head in the door.] [Inside the kitchen, Ranma-chan is trying to make some more food. She isn't getting much done, because Kunou is paying court on her with flowers and ribbons and such, and she's eating it up, much to his delight.] Ranma-chan: Sempai! Don't say such embarrassing things! Kunou: Ah, but my heart is so filled with admiration I can't bear not to express it! [starts quoting poetry, the point of which seems to be that it's a crime for beauty not to be praised.] Ranma-chan: [giggling] Oh, sempai, you're so mean! [By this time Akane's head has been joined by Nabiki's and Shampoo's.] Shampoo: Aiyaaa... Kunou: So, shall we see each other tomorrow? Say you'll meet me in the park for a day of wonders! Ranma-chan: Mmmmm, I guess so... Kunou: YATTAAAAH!!! [catches Ranma-chan up in his arms and twirls her around] Ranma-chan: Wheeeeeeeeeee!!! Akane, Nabiki, and Shampoo: Oh, boy... [Cut back to Shinjuku. Ryouga and Kasumi are just leaving Disco Moebius. Kasumi is as fresh as when she entered, while Ryouga is staggering with exhaustion.] Kasumi: [half-annoyed, half-amused] Really, Ryo-chan, for a martial artist you don't seem to have much stamina. Ryouga: A fight...[wheeze] doesn't usually... go on...[gasp] that long... And it's not... nearly... as... vigorous. Kasumi: [leans over and ruffles his hair] Oh, you say the sweetest things. [The camera cuts to a view half of her, half of the street behind her as she straightens.] Now, lets see if we can find... [her expression shifts slightly as the camera focuses past her to a pair of figures following them down the street.] ...some *more* fun. *Here*. [swings Ryouga into a dark alley.] [The two following figures arrive at the mouth of the alley, and are quickly joined by three more from the direction they were walking. The five pause a moment in the silence, then enter the alley.] [Ending song: Lay-lay boy] Special thanks to Karl RIM for writing "Kasumi's Tale," on which a great deal of this story is based. Also thanks to my pre-readers: Regius Dickinson Lo Robert Deloura Jeff Yang Cloyce Spradling Richard Uyeyama Pascal Janin and everyone I've forgotten. Character profile: Shampoo Shampoo is a Chinese girl who fell in love with Ranma when he defeated her in combat. She runs the local Chinese restaurant, the Nekohanten, with her great- grandmother, Cologne, a martial arts master(mistress?). Shampoo is very uninhibited, showing no reluctance about appearing nude in front of Ranma, or for crashing through walls even if there's a perfectly good door handy. Like Ranma, she suffers from a Jusenkyo curse: When drenched with cold water she turns into a cat. Unfortunately, Ranma's reaction to a cat is unreserved panic, which has put a damper on Shampoo's pursuit of him. Physical description: Shampoo is about Ranma's age, quite attractive, with long purple hair. She wears Chinese-style dresses or tunic-and-pants (Classical, not Communist) and is frequently found on her bicycle. Glossary: -chan:Affectionate diminutive suffix Oneechan/Oneesama:Older sister Onigiri:Stuffed rice ball Otousan:Father -- C h r i s t i a n G a d e k e n Yakumo: "But I really did destroy a monster in Hong Kong! Saru : "Ahem, ahem" Yakumo: "Saru, do you believe me?" Saru : "Where's my Hong Kong souvenir?"