Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.stories Path: news2!newshub!news.sprintlink.net!news.emanon.net!alpha.sky.net!news.nyiq.net!imci4!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in1.uu.net!world!megazone From: 4cw6@qlink.queensu.ca (Christopher Wilmore) Subject: [Fanfic] Ranma 2096 - Episode 2: University Life! Message-ID: <4i5h39$2mu@knot.queensu.ca> Followup-To: poster X-World-Archive: Ranma/ranma.2096.2.gz Sender: megazone@world.std.com (MegaZone) Organization: Queen's University, Kingston Date: Thu, 14 Mar 1996 03:36:15 GMT Approved: megazone@world.std.com Lines: 1058 ____ ___ _ ___ / | \ | \ /\ | | /\ /\ | \ / /\ | \ | \ . | \ | |. / \_/ \ | \ \ / \ | __ \ | _ \ | | | | | | | _ \ /\ \/ / | | \ \ | | \ \ .| | | |.| | | | \ \ / \ \ / | | / / | |__\ | | | \| | | |\ /| |.| |__\ |/ /\ \/ | | / / | | | |\ | |.| | | |.| | | |\ / \ | |/ / .| ___ |.| |.| |.| |.| | | | | ___ /\ \/ / | |\ \ | | .| |.| |.| |.| |.| |.| |.| | ./ |\ / | | \ \ .| | | |.| |..\ |.| |.| |.| | | | /| | \ |_|. \__\ |_|. .|_|.|_|...\/..|_|.|_|.|_|.|_|. \|_| \ /\ \ / Written by Christopher 'Ratiko' Willmore. / \ \ / [4cw6@qlink.queensu.ca] / / \/ Based on a story by Rumiko Takahashi and / Developed by C. Michael Schumacher / / [Kensu: cschumac@waun.tdsnet.com], \ / with the aid of Animax Enterprises \/(Logo:Armakuni) [formerly TAAC]. ************************************************************************ EPISODE II: UNIVERSITY LIFE! ************************************************************************ Notes: 1. Before anyone else asks, Kim is NOT a reincarnation of Akane. Just had to make that clear... :) 2. A note on ep. 1... Kindly change the 'warping' distance mentioned at the end to 1 km from 250 m for continuity's sake... ^_^ -CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prologue: [Tokyo, 2096: Late afternoon. We see an ultra-modern skyline, filled with spires, gleaming ceramic and metal, and interesting geodesic structures. A few birds are flying in silhouette, and the sounds of many more can be heard coming from the trees in the many parks which dot the city. The camera pans down to virtually-empty streets, and focuses on a moto-mech carrying several familiar figures...] Kim: [driving; keeps her eyes on the road] OK, Shampoo. If I remember well, the Nekohanten should be right around the corner... You SURE you're all right if we leave you alone? Shampoo: [quietly] Shampoo be OK. Kim: Whatever you say... [The motomech pulls a sudden left and goes a little while before stopping in front of a rather large eating establishment. A sign written in Mandarin welcomes patrons to the 'Cat Restaurant', and two four-foot tall sculpted felines guard the main entrance. Shampoo dismounts, taking her little satchel of possessions with her, and walks up a few steps to the front door. She knocks, and is promptly let in. Once she's sure that the Amazon has made it, Kim starts up the engine again.] Kim: [To Ranma, who is still floating behind the mech in his 'spirit' form] Now, we're off to Kuno Hall. I'll need you and Bat-boy to lug this crate up the stairs. Feel up to it? Ranma: [putting one hand behind his head in the Takahashi fashion] Sure, I guess... But... [Looks at Kim's clothes.] Think you could get into somethin' other than pink and embroidered hearts before we switch? Kim: Shag. You're right. [Thinks.] Rat's about our size, isn't he? Ranma: [nods] I think so. Kim: His house isn't too far from here... I should know; I go there with him every weekend... Ranma: What? Kim: [Looks back at Ranma for a moment] Relax, HENTAI. Not for THAT. If it weren't for me, by the time he found his way home, his break'd be over! [From a metal pot on the side of the mech, an indignant squeak...] Tuesday afternoon, right? [Ranma nods] His pop should be at that corporation of his, Cyth goes to school, and his mom's away at a ladies' guild, or whatever she's in, so we should be fine... [Some more driving, and the mech pulls up in front of an opulent mansion. Whoever Ratiko's parents are, they certainly have no pecuniary troubles...] Ranma: [Eyes widen] Wow... Not even the Kunos... Kim: Yeah. Impressive, ne? His dad owns the biggest security equipment company in the country. [Dismounts, kicks out the mech's support to stand it up, and walks over to the side compartments. She knocks on the pot.] You OK there, Rat? [From within, angry squeaks.] Good. [Kim opens a compartment (the one with Ratiko's clothes in it), rummages through its contents, and pulls out a keycard.] Eureka. [Picks up the pot, and walks towards the mansion's front door.] Ranma: Wait for me! [He follows Kim.] [Kim slides the keycard into the appropriate spot, and the door opens with a hiss. She walks inside, and sets the metal container down on a coffee table.] Kim: [Turns to face Ranma] I'll be right back. Just have to go into the kitchen to get some water... Hot for Rat, cold for me, right? Ranma: Hai. Kim: Hm... While I'm at it, I might as well pick up the clothes... [Shudders] Wouldn't want to have to see Ratiko naked again... [Kim goes off through one of the many corridors. Ranma sits still and waits, or tries to. He's not used to being inactive, and keeps shifting positions. Suddenly, a scuffling noise.] Ranma: Wha... [Silence. Ranma shakes his head.] Geeze... What's with these Hibikis and rodents? They name their son Rat, who turns into a bat, and now they have mice in their house... With a place like THIS, I know I'D be able to afford an exterminator. Ratiko: [from the pot] SQUEEEEEAAAAAAAAAK!!! Ranma: Sorry, Ratiko. Didn't mean to offend. [Kim comes back, wearing male-style jeans, a blue T-shirt and a leather jacket. She's carrying two bundles of clothes under one arm, and has a towel draped over the other. A glass of water is in each hand.] Kim: [Cheerfully] I'm back! [She puts down her load on the coffee table and takes the lid off the pot.] OK, Bat-boy. You can come out now. [The fruit-bat hops out of the pot and onto one of the piles of clothing. Kim pours the glass of hot water over him.] Ratiko: [now human and naked] AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH! [Grabs the towel and wraps it around himself.] Kim: Gee, Rat... I didn't know you were THAT modest... [grins] Ratiko: [growling] That... water... was _SLIGHTLY_ hotter than it should have been... Kim: Oh, dear... Did I set the zapper to ninety Celsius? Silly me! What an oversight! [Ranma laughs. Ratiko glares at him, then picks up his clothes.] Ratiko: I'm off to get dressed. Kim: [saccharin-sweet] Bye-bye! [Ratiko storms off.] [To Ranma] OK. Get ready. Like the clothes? Ranma: [Honestly looking Kim over.] I usually prefer red, but... [shrugs] It looks fine... Kim: Good. Now, then... [Picks up the glass of water, and pours it over herself. Switcharoo. Ranma puts down the glass just as Ratiko returns, adjusting his belt.] Ratiko: Done? Kim: Yep. You'll have to drive, but I'll tell you how to get back to Kuno. Ratiko: [nods] Got it. [The two boys pick up all their belongings, and head out, followed by Kim- ghost. When they leave, the door closes behind them. Silence. A second or two, then a youngish (10-12 yrs old), blonde-haired girl steps out from where she was hiding in a side room, and sniffles from a runny nose. She is:] Cytherea: [clutching a teddy bear to her chest] Ratty... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Start Opening Credits/Animation] [Scenes from Mr. Schumachers's Halloween Ranma fanfic, where Chia threatens to kill Ranma, then a shot of Chia actually doing so, via a strong energy release. The spirit lifts Ranma telekinetically twenty meters up into the air, blasts him, then drops him, and we hear the crunch of a broken skull / severed spine. Next is Akane kneeling over Ranma's corpse, shouting his name. Cut to a view of Ranma's funeral, with Akane conspicuously absent. Everyone else is there, though, from Ukyou to Kuno. Then, a shot of the old Shampoo uncloaking.] [End Opening Credits/Animation] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Kuno Hall: We see Ratiko and Ranma heaving the folded-up motomech*, side compartments stuffed with clothes, up the stairs, while Kim is carefully, SLOWLY, trudging behind them, to make sure she doesn't accidentally go THROUGH the steps. That would not do much for their anonymity...] (* The motomech folds up into something resembling a large trunk. A large, HEAVY trunk.) Ranma: [Huffing - the mech is heavy.] You mean to tell me that in 100 years, you people haven't installed ELEVATORS in this place? I would've thought by now you would've had those Star Trek beam thingies to take you where you need to go. Ratiko: We [ugh!] do! It's just that it takes a lot of [groan...] energy to use them, and it's quite expensive... Ranma: Look: Even in MY day, any department store could afford an elevator and an electric staircase or two. What's wrong with that? [They stop to take a rest. Ratiko looks at Ranma] Ratiko: We're in Kuno Hall. Ranma: Don't remind me... [Wipes his brow. They start up the stairs again.] But what does THAT have to do with anything? Ratiko: [to Kim] Kind of dense, isn't he? [Kim nods. She's still not used to the spirit form, and is having to use all her concentration to appear to be 'normally' walking up the stairs.] [To Ranma] Look, Mr. Jock. Kuno was a monk. Monks lead austere lives. The Kuno clan paid for this place. Ergo, one of the... Ranma: Ergo? Does that 'ave anything to do with ergs? Ratiko: Never mind. [smirks] I'm sure you'll get around to learning Latin when you begin to take Kim's classes. Ranma: What? Kim's class... Hey! Wait a minute! Didn't ya say she was in physics, or something? I can't do that! It's BORING, and there's all those... ....numbers! [Kim stops for a moment to glare at him.] Don't look at me like that! It's not like I'll have TIME for it, either.... I have to TRAIN! Kim: [annoyed] Ranma, so long as you're using MY body, _I_ get to say whether it trains or studies. And, right now, all I know is that THIS body is going to get a degree in Theoretical Physics. Understood? Ranma: But... Can't I just take... Phys Ed, or Rehab? Kim: Have you forgotten? You can't go further than a kilometre without warping back to me. [Ranma is about to point out that, right now, Kim is the ghost, but thinks better of it.] This is a large campus. Chances are, if you took any other classes, it would mean that one of us would have to periodically miss lectures. Therefore, you will have to take MY classes. Got it? Ranma: H-Hai... I suppose it makes sense... [They reach the top of the stairs, set down the mech, and rest.] Kim: Of course it does. Now, be a good hentai jock and turn to the left. [While they've been talking, the trio have missed the presence of two other male students in the corridor at the top of the flight. During most of the exchange, they've been standing, and watching.] Student #1: Well, Ratiko, I'll grant that your friends are usually odd to begin with, but I don't think you've ever before dragged one in that talks to himself... Ratiko, Kim, and Ranma: [thought] To HIMSELF??? Student #2: Who is this anyway? Newbie, what's your name? [Kim and Ratiko motion to Ranma, trying to tell him to let them speak for him, but since these gestures ARE subtle, our brick-headed hero doesn't pick up on them.] Ranma: [extending his hand to Student #2] Ranma Saotome. I'll be staying here from now on. [Ratiko groans...] Student #1 and Student #2: Ranma... Sao... Student #1: Rat; is this another one of your jokes? Ratiko: [sweating profusely] No! That's his name! He's, er... um... He's FOREIGN! [Kim gives him a 'thumbs up'] He's from China, and that's quite a common name there.... [Ratiko crosses his fingers behind his back, hoping his peers know nothing about Chinese names...] Student #2: Oh. Well, you'd better go and change it at the Ministry tomorrow. Can't expect to go around safely with a name like 'Ranma Saotome', even if you ARE Chinese. Student #1: By the way... Ranma... your Japanese is GREAT! Ranma: Er... Thanks? [Looks at Ratiko, confused...] Ratiko: [whispered] Student #2: Now... China... Ratiko, you wouldn't have happened to have gotten LOST again, would you? Ratiko: [blushing] Who, me??? Student #2: I mean, the scavenger hunt DID end three days ago, and I haven't seen you since then... Ratiko: [softly, almost mumbling] Had a little problem with the navmap... Student #1: Hear you took Kim with ya! Four days - or is it five? - alone with Thompson... You lucky dog! Did you go all the way? Ratiko, Kim and Ranma: WHAT??? Student #2: Come to think of it, I would get lost too, if I was goin' with HER! Sly, Rat. Real sly... [By now, it should be quite obvious that they can't see or hear Kim. Ratiko realises this, and it is beginning to dawn on Ranma.] Ratiko: It was NOTHING like THAT! We're only friends! Student #1: Right, Rat.... Right... [Looks at his watch.] Darn! Gotta go! [To Student #2] Got that Chem lab in ten minutes. See ya there? Student #2: [To Student #1] Right. [To Ratiko & Ranma]: Well, see you later! Oh, yeah! 'Ranma'... Where you goin' to be staying? Got a room assigned to ya yet? Ratiko: He's going to be staying with Kim. [Student #2 cocks an eyebrow.] Student #1: Serious? Ratiko: It's a long story. Student #1: [Shakes his head, looking down.] Some guys just have all the luck... [Kim frowns.] Well, we really have to go. Bye! [They leave.] Ratiko: [To Kim] I have the nagging suspicion that they can't see you... Kim: Whatever gave you THAT idea? [Ranma doesn't realise it's a rhetorical question and starts to answer, before Ratiko silences him.] Kim: Any ideas as to WHY? YOU TWO seem to see me fine, and that blasted Amazon... [Ratiko shudders, remembering his adventure in a pressure cooker...] Ratiko: We're all Jusenkyo-cursed. Could that be it? Kim: [Thinks it over, chin in hand. A few seconds, then she nods.] Thank- you, Mr. Pre-Med student. I think you've hit it right on the nail. This certainly adds a new dimension to our little... problem... Ratiko: You actually look worried, Kim! I would've thought someone like you would be THRILLED at the chance to sneak around unseen... Ranma: Ratiko... I don't think... Kim: Ratiko NO BAKA!!! [Lunges through him.] Ranma: [To himself] [Kim sits cross-legged on the floor where she lands, visibly upset but unwilling to accept her failure.] Ratiko, I wouldn't get her mad, at least not when _I'm_ around... Remember what happened at Jusenkyo... Ratiko: Huh? Ranma: Do the words, 'Roaring Lion Bullet' ring a bell? Ratiko: [Gulps.] Right. I'd forgotten about that. Kim: Are you two just going to stand there ALL DAY? Let's get moving! I want to get back to my room, pour some hot water on that hentai, and start catching up. Let's go! Ratiko: Um... Sure, Kim. [Pause.] Which way? [Kim blinks.] Kim: Rat, we're FOUR DOORS AWAY. You mean to tell me you can't find your way from HERE??? Ratiko: Well, there's all these corridors... Could be four doors straight ahead, or to the left, or to the right... [Kim clenches her fists and resists an impulse to rush Ratiko again.] Ranma: Are ALL Hibikis like this??? Ratiko: Er... Not really... Only great-gramps and I... Ranma: [To himself] Kim: [Tries to clear her throat, but can't, since she doesn't have a physical throat. Instead, she makes a sound:] Ahem... Ratiko: Uh, yes... Where to? Kim: [Through gritted teeth] Left. Four doors. [Ratiko and Ranma pick up the mech and walk in the specified direction. Sure enough, they come against a door with an electronic display on it, reading: 'Kimberley Thompson A323'. Next to the door is what looks like a large, locked closet. Ratiko takes a card out of his pocket, slides it through the appropriate slot, and the panel opens. It is just large enough to fit the folded-up mech inside, which he does.] Kim: Welcome to my humble abode. Ratiko? [Ratiko opens the door. Inside is a rather standard, if unusually clean, single room. There is a neatly-made bed, a desk with a lamp, a chair, some closets, and a door leading into what is presumably a washroom. Though the models are very advanced, Ranma thinks he can recognise a computer (the monitor is built into the wall) and a sound system. There are no posters on the walls, but quite prominent is a fencing foil hung just above the head of the bed.] Ranma: Nice... [To himself] [Points at the foil.] What's THAT? Kim: [Obviously proud of her fencing skill.] It's a foil. A fencing sword. Ranma: Sword? [He walks over to the foil, and picks it up. He hefts it, finds it light, and then starts swinging it. Ranma lunges at the wall, and laughs when the fencing sword bends on contact.] This thing acts like it's made of rubber! [To Kim] Ever used a REAL sword? Kim: [Annoyed.] I like to think I'm not that violent. [Ratiko looks away. He obviously thinks otherwise, but knows it isn't wise to voice his opinions.] Ranma: Right. [Replaces the sword on its hooks.] Since we're gonna be together, I might as well teach you how to use a katana. I'm sure you'd enjoy it... [Ratiko pales slightly at the thought of Kim wielding a sharp metal object.] Kim: [Smiling] Hmm... I might have found a use for you, after all... [Suddenly stiffens.] I'd better do some catch-up work. Ratiko, why don't you go and register Ranma? [Ratiko nods.] Ranma: Um... Catch-up work? Kim.... You're not quite... Physical... Kim: I'm fine. As long as I don't do it too quickly, I'm sure I can turn the pages of a book. Ranma: Are you sure? Kim: Definitely. Run along now! [Ranma and Ratiko leave the room. When the door closes, Kim sighs heavily and flops down onto the bed. Slowly.] [Change of scene: Outside Kim's room.] Ratiko: I'm not sure whether we should have your name changed before or after we register you... Ranma: What IS it about my name? Ratiko: Long story. I don't know it all, and I don't particularly feel like telling it, either... I'm sure you'll find out soon enough, though... [We hear the hiss of a door opening [Think Star Trek], as someone comes out of the room next-door. It's a woman, with short brown/black hair and a trim figure, dressed in what appear to be khaki canvas trousers, a brown leather jacket , a cream-coloured T-shirt, and leather mini-boots. She is wearing a paisley handkerchief around her neck.] Woman: Ratiko! You're back! Ratiko: [Waves.] Hi, Childra! Childra: Didn't expect you back so soon... When you go on a trip, it's usually weeks before we see you again... Ratiko: [Blushes.] Um... Yeah... Childra: [Pointing at Ranma] Aren't you going to introduce me to your handsome friend? Ranma: [Beaming] I'm Ran.... [Suddenly remembers, and looks at Ratiko.] Ratiko: [To Ranma] You might as well. The damage has been done. Ranma: I'm Ranma Saotome. Pleased to meet you. [Extends his hand.] [Childra cocks an eyebrow, and pauses for a second, but then takes his hand firmly in hers. She looks him over.] Childra: [To Ratiko] Unusual name.... Ratiko: He's.... From China... Childra: Even MORE unusual, then... Ratiko: [Slaps his forehead.] [To Ranma] She's finishing her Master's in Archaeological Anthropology. [To Childra] Well, in his part of China, the name doesn't have the same connotation it has in Tokyo. Childra: [Smiles] Of course not. [To Ranma] So, are you going to be staying here? Ranma: Hai. Childra: Good. We need more fine young bodies like yours... [She inspects Ranma's abdomen, and smiles.] Most of the boys around here are real dogs... [Ranma blushes.] So, what are you studying? Ranma: Theoretical Physics. [Looks at Ratiko] I think. [Ratiko nods.] Ratiko: He'll be staying in Kim's room... [From inside of Kim's room, we hear the sound of books crashing to the floor. Apparently, she isn't having much success in her attempts to study... Outside, Childra raises an eyebrow.] Ratiko: [sweating] Blast those termites! Childra: I thought all the furniture was either plastic or ceramic... Ratiko: Um... Genetically engineered termites? They're... uh... using them to clear up garbage dumps... Some of them must've gotten loose. Right, Ranma? [Ranma nods incomprehensibly.] Childra: [Incredulous] Uh-huh. [A frustrated Kim walks through the door to her room, and starts to speak to Ratiko & Ranma, to ask for their help. When she notices they're busy, though, she stands back and waits for them to finish.] Ratiko: No, really! My father's company... [Childra's eyes widen, and she interrupts Ratiko.] Childra: Rat, you _DID_ take Kim with you, didn't you? Ratiko: [Sweating] Y... Yes... Childra: And you brought her back? Ratiko: I, er... Childra: Rat; what exactly HAPPENED during that trip? Did you have an accident? Ratiko: Well, I.... [Looks to Ranma for help, but Saotome just shrugs, not knowing what to say.] Childra: It's all right. [She walks past the pair, and comes to stand directly in front of Kim. Kim looks VERY surprised.] [The two boys turn and stare..] Ranma & Ratiko: Wha? Childra: [To Kim (!)] "Kim, honey... I don't know if you've noticed, but... You're DEAD!" [Commercial break] [The scene resumes where it left off.] Kim: You... You can SEE me??? Childra: Aye, and hear you, too... [Smiles.] Kim: But... Ratiko... We... I thought only Jusenkyo curses could... Childra: [frowning] Jusenkyo? [Turns to Ratiko] I take it you can see her, too? Ratiko: H... Hai... Childra: Kim; are you alive, or are you not? Kim: The only stiff 'round here is Ranma... But... How can you see me? The other students... Childra: I've always been able to see spirits. How'd you think I've done so well in my career? Nothing beats getting info from the source when you have to write a history essay.... [Winks.] But, I must say, all of the ghosts I've encountered have been dead. You're CERTAIN you're not dead? Kim: Absolutely. [To Ratiko] Could you get a glass of hot water from the washroom, Rat? [Ratiko nods, and goes into the room.] Childra: Hot water? Kim: Just wait. [They do. In a few seconds, Ratiko returns with the requested item.] Ratiko: [Grinning] Shall I do the honours? Ranma: Now, wait a minute! I... [SPLASH! Instant switch. Suddenly, Ranma is the spirit standing in front of Childra, and Kim is back in her body.] Childra: [With a sharp intake of breath.] I'd heard of the Jusenkyo pools, but I never thought... You say Ranma's dead? [Kim nods.] Kim: For a hundred years. Childra: A hundred.... [Startled] You don't mean... [Points at Ranma] THIS is the REAL Ranma Saotome??? Kim: Er... Yeah... Childra: Oh, dear... In that case, it'll take more than a name change to save him. Maybe some plastic surgery... Hmm.... Ranma: Will someone PLEASE fill me in? Childra: [To Kim and Ratiko] You haven't told him about the Church of Kodachi yet? [Kim and Ratiko shake their heads.] Ranma: Kodachi??? Childra: You knew her? I guess you really ARE the original! Ranma: I... I thought I did... But she wasn't the religious type... More like a homicidal maniac... [To himself] [A distant clock tower tolls five o'clock.] Ratiko: [Looking at his watch.] Five ALREADY??? We've gotta go register! The booths are locked up at half-past! Ranma: But... Ratiko: There'll be plenty of time to tell you about that wacky sect later. Right now, we have to get you registered! [Tries to grab Ranma's hand, but his own passes through it.] Oh, yeah. I forgot. [Ratiko once again goes into the washroom and emerges with a glass of COLD water, which he splashes on Kim.] Childra: Amazing... [Ratiko grabs the now-corporeal Ranma's hand and rushes down the corridor. When they're out of sight, Childra speaks.] Childra: [To Kim] Are you sure it was a good idea to let Ratiko guide Ranma, with only half an hour to spare? Kim: Uh-oh... I forgot... Childra: Oh, well... At least we'll have some time to talk. You said you thought only Jusenkyo curses could see your spirit form. Does that mean that Ratiko... Kim: Hai. Childra: [Smiles] Tell me all about it... [Childra opens the door to her room, and she and Kim walk in. The door closes.] [Commercial Break] [Scene change: Outside, in the middle of a small park, there is a structure that looks like a cross between a telephone booth and an ATM. At the top of it, there is a neon green. glowing clock. At present, it reads 5:29... Ranma and Ratiko rush in, and open the doors to the booth just as the time shifts to 5:30.] Ratiko: I.. I can't believe it! I MADE it! Ranma: That's the LAST time I let a HIBIKI be my guide... Ratiko: Don't complain. At least I GOT you here. [Ranma looks around, and points at a building some 100 meters away.] Ranma: Rat, isn't that Kuno Hall? Ratiko: Huh? [Looks at where Ranma is pointing, and blushes...] Er... Yeah. [Ranma just shakes his head, sadly. He's seen this too many times before.] Ranma: OK. So, NOW what do we do? Ratiko: What? Oh. Simple. Just press the 'START' button [points to a keypad below the monitor], and follow the on-screen instructions. Shouldn't take more than a minute. Ranma: I don't have any papers. Won't I need a passport, or a birth certificate, or something? Ratiko: Not anymore. [Shrugs.] The current government figures, if you have a fingerprint and a retinal scan, you must've been born, and as long as you're the right age, and in Tokyo, you're entitled to free education. Ranma: Really? Wow! Some things really HAVE changed! [He turns towards the display, and presses the START button.] Age... What shall I put down? Ratiko: For all the questions, just shift the dates up a hundred years... Ranma: Gotcha. [Punches some keys.] Name? Ratiko: Might as well use your real one. We'll get it changed later. Ranma: OK... [More key presses, and then a thumbprint/retinal scan. A few beeps, and the monitor reads, 'Initial registration complete. Please enter course selections.'] Ratiko: I'll take over now. [As Ratiko bends over the keypad to fill in the information, the scene changes to a small room filled with what appears to be high-tech monitoring devices. A female figure is asleep in front of all the computer terminals. Suddenly, red lights start flashing and sirens sound, waking her. She scrambles up and starts twisting knobs and punching keys, until she gets a readout on one of the screens.] Figure: [Picks up a telephone handset.] Sisters: HE has arrived. [Commercial break] [Interlude: At the Nekohanten] [The second floor of the Nekohanten, where those who work there have their rooms. Shampoo is sitting cross-legged in the middle of a bunch of Mousse's descendants...] Blow_Dryer: Of COURSE you can stay with us, Auntie Shampoo! Hair_Tonic: ESPECIALLY if your cooking is as good as I remember! We could use a good chef around here... Antacid: Hey! Blow_Dryer: I'm surprised to see you back in Tokyo, though... I thought you said you'd NEVER leave Jusenkyo... Shampoo: Shampoo finish what Shampoo have to do there. All done. [Smiles weakly.] Blow_Dryer: [shrugs] If you say so... Hair_Tonic: Have you eaten yet? [Shampoo shakes her head.] Antacid: Of course! How inconsiderate of us! Please excuse our rudeness, it's just that we're so excited at seeing you again... It's been a good ten years, you know! Shampoo: Is OK. [Sighs.] Antacid: Here. Lemme go get you one of our specialities... I'll be right back! [Antacid goes downstairs and quickly returns with a steaming platter (covered by a metal dome) and some chopsticks.] Enjoy! [Shampoo lifts off the cover, and gasps. Inside is a roast kitten, surrounded by steamed vegetables, on a bed of ramen.] Shampoo: [Pointing at the dish.] Is CAT! Blow_Dryer: [Puzzled...] Of course it's Cat. Our speciality. After all, isn't that why you named this place the Neko-Hanten? [Shampoo smiles nervously...] [End Interlude] [Scene: Back at the registration booth. Ranma and Ratiko have finished entering the data, and are on their way back to Kuno Hall.] Ranma: What now? Ratiko: [Looks at his watch.] Six o'clock. Time for dinner. Ranma: [Pats his stomach.] Dinner... [Suddenly, a student runs up to Ratiko.] Student: Rat; where are you going?!? Ratiko: Um... Dinner? Student: It's Tuesday. Ranma: Huh? Student: It's Tuesday, and it's six PM. Ratiko: What? I... [Suddenly remembers something...] Oh, no... Student: Gotta rush! Meet you at the pool? [Ratiko nods grimly. The student leaves running.] Ranma: POOL?!? Ratiko: I'm on the swim team. Geeze, this is going to take some explaining... What will I say? "Sorry, coach, I can't swim because I'll turn into a she-bat if I touch the water?" Ranma: [Grinning] Works for me! [Ratiko scowls at him.] Ratiko: This is serious, Ranma! Ranma: Sorry. Believe me, I know what you're going through... Not that I ever was on a swim team, but when my mother came to visit... [Ratiko groans...] What? Ratiko: I'd forgotten. How on Earth am I going to explain this to my PARENTS? At least Kim doesn't have to see her family until the summer, but I go home every weekend! Ranma: You forgot about your PARENTS? Seems your memory's about as good as your sense of direction... [Ratiko glares at him.] Ratiko: Well, I guess I can't put it off forever. Kim should still be in her room... Go to her, and I'm sure she'll take you to the dining hall. I've gotta go. Don't expect to see me anytime soon; I have a Bio lab after swimming practice... Ranma: Hai. [Begins to leave.] Ratiko: And you complained MY memory was bad? Ranma: Huh? Ratiko: You forgot the keys. Kim can't quite open the door for you in her current state, you know... Ranma: Er... Right. [Ratiko takes the keycard out of his pocket and gives it to Ranma.] [They part. Ranma goes towards Kuno Hall, while Ratiko leaves in the direction the other student left in.] [Scene change: Outside Kim's room. Ranma slips the keycard into the slot, and opens the door.] Kim: About TIME you got here. Ranma: It's only been half an hour! Kim: Long enough. Well, get into the washroom. Ranma: What??? Kim: [Pointing at herself] You don't expect me to go to dinner like THIS, do you??? Ranma: But... I thought I... Kim: [sighs] Do you have a meal card yet? Ranma: No. Kim: Student ID? Ranma: No. Kim: Then you'd better let ME do the eating. My guess is, that if one of us eats, the body won't be hungry anymore, regardless of who's in charge. Ranma: I don't know... Kim: [To herself] [To Ranma] You don't exactly have a choice. Go. Get wet. Ranma: So, you had an interesting conversation with that Childra girl? Kim: You COULD say that.... [snorts] She thinks you're... CUTE... Ranma: Is THAT what has you so upset? That she thinks I'm attractive? Kim: I'M NOT UPSET! And even if I WERE, I think I have the bloody RIGHT to be upset, considering what I've gone through in the last 48 hours! Ranma: [Putting his hands up] Whatever you say... [He leaves into the bathroom. Moments later, the inevitable switcharoo.] Kim: [Coming out of the bathroom.] Follow me. [Scene change: In the dining hall. Though the furniture seems a bit outlandish, it's still your basic cafeteria. Lots of crowded tables, buffet-style service, etc. Kim is sitting at one of them, surrounded by her female classmates. Apparently, they've heard of Ranma's arrival... Saotome himself is standing behind her, enjoying the conversation.] Girl #1: So, Kim, how'd you manage to nab yourself that Ranma fellow? I hear he's quite a hunk! [Ranma smiles. Kim frowns.] Girl #2: He IS! I saw him! He's dreamy.... Girl #1: [To Girl #2] Did not! Girl #2: I did! I did! He's got black hair, and a pigtail, and the most GORGEOUS biceps... Girl #1: You're only repeating what your brother told you! [Kim is getting sicker by the minute...] Girl #1: [half-whispered to Kim] I hear he's living with you, in that single room of yours... Have you... You know... [wink] [Kim drops the sandwich she's holding, and spits out the orange juice she was about to swallow.] Kim: Me? THAT? With... [Ranma begins to laugh. Kim glares at him, and he becomes silent, remembering what can happen when she gets angry.] Not a chance. He's... Ranma's my cousin. Girl #2: Cousin?? I thought you were AMERICAN! Kim: My... DISTANT cousin. Girl #2: [Stands up on her chair, and cups her hands around her lips for a megaphone effect.] Hear that, girls??? Kim and Ranma are RELATED! He's AVAILABLE!!! [Kim buries her face in her hands.] [At the announcement, every girl in the cafeteria rushes towards where Kim is sitting. Just as it looks as if Kim is going to die from asphyxiation in the crowd, a very angry Ratiko storms into the cafeteria wearing only a jacket and a towel wrapped around his waist. He quickly clears a path through the multitude.] Kim: Ratiko? What's wrong? You look... [He looks like evil incarnate.] Ratiko: You will come with me. Now. Kim: Wait a minute! I... [Ratiko grabs her by the arm, and drags a kicking, biting, screaming, Kim out of the cafeteria. When they leave, the mob quietens.] Girl #1: Gee... Do you suppose Ratiko is also after Ranma? [Scene change: An anonymous corridor, somewhere in Kuno Hall. Ratiko is holding Kim pinned against the wall. Ranma-ghost is standing by.] Kim: Why are you doing this? What do you want? Ratiko: I need to talk to Ranma. Kim: [pointing at the spirit] He's right there! Ratiko: [Glances at Ranma] I know. But that's NOT how I want to see him. Kim & Ranma: What do you... [Ratiko reaches into his jacket and pulls out a water pistol, with which he squirts Kim. Instant Ranma.] Ranma: [Confused] Ratiko; what's.... [Before he can finish, Ratiko pins him against the wall and punches him in the stomach.] Kim: Rat! What are you doing??? Ratiko: [To Kim] Stay out of this. [Seeing she can do nothing in her current form, Kim complies. Besides, she's not particularly upset at seeing Ranma punched.] I am NOT having a fun day, Saotome. Ranma: I guessed that. Ratiko: Because of you, and that awful Amazon, my life is in RUINS! Ranma: CALM DOWN! It's not THAT bad, surely... Ratiko: Oh, yes it IS! Quitting the swim team was bad enough, but then... Ranma: Yes? Ratiko: I had my bio lab. Dissection. Mammalian anatomy. FLYING mammalian anatomy. You know any biology, jock? Ranma: Er... Some... Ratiko: Quick quiz, then: What's the only flying mammal? Ranma: [Gulps] A bat? Ratiko: Correct. Another question. What do you supposed happened when I washed my hands in preparation for the experiment??? Ranma: Oh, no... [Kim can't contain herself. She bursts out laughing.] Ratiko: It's NOT FUNNY! I was chased ALL OVER CAMPUS by angry, scalpel- wielding Pre-Med students! Do you realise how close I came to LOSING MY LIFE??? Ranma: You could've always bitten them... Ratiko: I'm afraid fruit bats aren't known for their sharp teeth. Ranma: Um... You could've... SUCKED them into submission, then? [Ratiko lands an uppercut on Ranma's jaw.] Ranma: I wouldn't go on, if I were you... Ratiko: And why not? [Ranma smiles.] Ranma: I AM a martial artist, after all... Ratiko: Some martial artist, that lets himself get beaten up by a lowly university student... Ranma: That's it... FLYING CHESTNUT FISTS!!! [Do I really need to say what happens? A few seconds, and Ratiko is out cold.] That should hold him. [Kim stares at Ratiko's prone body, stunned.] Kim: Do you... Do things like that... Often? Ranma: [Shrugs] Haven't done it for a hundred years... [Kim nods.] Didn't you say you had a lecture early in the morning? Kim: Don't think I mentioned it, but as a matter of fact, I do... Ranma: Well then, shall we away? Kim: [Looking at Ratiko] What about... Ranma: Nah, he'll be all right. He'll wake up soon enough, and have nothing worse than a headache to remember it by. [Grins] I went easy on him. [Change Scene: Kim's room, night. Kim is back in her body, sleeping on the bed. Ranma-ghost is to the side, trying to go through his katas. After a few minutes of going THROUGH everything around him, he gives up, and simply stands and looks at the sleeping figure.] Ranma: [To himself] [Pause. Realisation.] <....such an uncute tomboy...> [The memories that flood back are too much for Ranma. He sits down and cries silently. Rather, he would cry, had he any tears... From the bed, Kim closes her eyes, and smiles...] [Voices are heard outside] Voice#1: This is the room! Voice#2: But the heatsigs say only the girl is in there! Voice#1: We'll take HER, then. Saotome will follow, for sure... Besides, we can't show up at Lepi's empty-handed... [Inside, Kim fully wakes up, and Ranma comes to attention. Too late. Two black-clad women burst through the door, and pick Kim up, securing her with nylon ropes. Seconds after they arrived, they carry Kim out and away to a secret location...*] *More than a kilometre away... ^_^ [End Episode II] Next episode: The Church of Kodachi!